


Unexpected

by theduskysky



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bilbo Remains In Erebor, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, M/M, Mpreg, Post-Battle of Five Armies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-06
Updated: 2016-09-14
Packaged: 2018-02-12 00:44:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 35
Words: 101,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2089299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theduskysky/pseuds/theduskysky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yavanna has laid her blessing on Bilbo.  He's unexpectedly expecting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In the beginning

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work, my first foray into the fandom. Not beta'd. Original authors/creators own their work. This was just an idea rattling around in my head. I really have no idea what I'm doing. And... oh well. Here goes.

It took Bilbo some time to figure out what was happening to his body. He was too busy worrying about the downward spiral into gold lust Thorin and the company were taking. None of them were eating much. All they had left was cram and when he did eat it, it came right back up. Bofur saw him once and rubbed his back until the gagging stopped. "Ye alright, laddie?" he asked concerned. "Yeah," Bilbo replied, wiping the sweat from his brow. "I think it's just bad rations... exhaustion." Bofur turned him back towards their makeshift camp. "Then get some rest. I'll bring ye some water. It's about all we have that's fresh."

Bilbo laid down on his sleeping roll. Thorin had left his furs behind so Bilbo wrapped himself in them. He only wished they smelled more like Thorin and less like wild dog. He quickly fell asleep but it wasn't restful. His mind plagued him with dreams of drowing in a tidal wave of gold coins. They were cold and chilled his skin where they touched him. After a few moments, it seemed like they only made contact with his belly because it began to hurt. He woke to the feeling of dull cramps in his abdomen. Before he could think of it further, he felt Thorin settling down behind him. Arms encircled him and pulled him back against Thorin's body. He sighed as Thorin's warmth seeped into him, dispelling the cramping pains and lulling him back to sleep.

Over the next few days, the pains spread down his abdomen to his nethers, making him uncomfortable and irritable. So when he bickered with Thorin about who even remembers what, he said his piece, rather loudly, and stomped away. When the anger faded, he found himself slumped in a cold corner, arms wrapped around his middle, tears trickling down his face, wishing he could just go home. He hadn't wished that in some time, not since that moment on the Carrock when he had finally felt accepted by Thorin.

He sifted through the next few days of memories: Thorin confessing the full depth of his regard, Thorin kissing him, Thorin laying him gently down to bed him. He'd been so happy, so content, that in Beorn's garden, he'd gathered flowers and at the base of a tree made an offering to Yavanna, asking her to bless them and keep them safe. He wiped his face thinking of his offering. They'd been such big, beautiful flowers. He mused on them for a few moments before the ache in his abdomen throbbed again. It was then that his mind put things together. His offering, Yavanna's blessing, the things his body was doing. His eyes went wide and he shook his head. No. No, that couldn't be it.

He thought about how he had felt in those days. The strength of his emotions for Thorin, how he would have done anything for him, given anything for him. He thought about how Thorin had laid him down under that very tree and made love to him, had spoken promises of love to him. Bilbo laid his head in his hands and groaned. Gandalf was right. He was a fool of a Took. 


	2. Through the winter

It was just before sunset when Bilbo went out onto the mountain to find anything that grew. There were no trees or flowers but he found a bush with vibrant, green leaves. He stripped a small handful off the bush, gently so as not to crush them. Holding them close to his lips, he whispered a prayer to Yavanna, that she would give him wisdom. Then he tucked them into his pocket and waited for full dark. That was the night he made his bargain with the elves and men.

After the battle, Thorin spoke his words of peace and Bilbo was ushered away to make room for the healers to work. He sat alone in a quiet corner of the dwarves' camp and let the tears fall from his eyes. He was forgiven, but his treachery would not be forgotten. He could see it in the face of every dwarf he had passed. The company hadn't even been able to look him in the eye. Whatever had been, could not be again. His heart clenched in his chest. He sat there until his tears dried and his breathing steadied. "Well then, Bilbo," he told himself, "you have choices to make."

He walked back and found the tent Kili and Fili rested in. Both boys were wrapped in bandages, a testament to the many hits they had taken. His eyes began to well up, when he heard soft footsteps behind him.

"The healers said if they wake, they'll most likely make a full recovery." Ori laid a basin of water on the table near Fili.

"If..." said Bilbo mournfully.

"Wh...when," stammered Ori. "When they wake." Bilbo half smiled at Ori's attempt at confidence. "They're dwarves, Mr. Bilbo. They're strong." Ori reached out to touch Biblo, then shyly retracted his hand. To Bilbo, it felt like a kick to the chest. Even Ori was unsure of him. "You just have to give them time," he said retreating from the tent.

Bilbo sighed and walked between the cots. He leaned over and brushed Kili's hair away from his face. "I'm sorry, boys. I thought it would be enough. I don't know what else I can do for you." He remembered his leaves. He pulled them out of his pocket. They were partially crushed but still green. Perhaps they still had a vestige of Yavanna's blessing from his prayer on them. He took some and stuffed them into Kili's closed fist. He turned to Fili and gently nudged the rest into the bandage around his hand. He kissed their foreheads and whispered, "may Yavanna heal you," over them. They're alive, he told himself. They're alive and everything else he could figure out given time.

Nodding to himself, he turned and made his way to Bard's section of the camp. If the dwarves would not have him, then he would make himself useful in the men's camp. Surely they would give him a place to sleep and food to fill his belly. He was sure as hungry as he was, he might actually keep it down now. He made his way to the healer's tent, allowed himself to be looked over and quietly found a task to attach himself to. He gave his name as Ash. It meant sacrifice and strength. He figured it might remind him of why he'd done what he'd done.

The healers found his common sense quite helpful and kept him there. They said his quiet manner and soft spokenness were soothing to the injured. He made sure to stay out of sight of dwarves. Only once was he nearly caught out when he heard Oin entering the tent with one of the human healers. He'd come to check on the dwarves in the human tents. Bilbo held his breath and snuck out as fast as he could without drawing attention to himself.

When he couldn't sleep he wandered back to the healers' tent. One night he bathed the forehead of a fevered dwarf, humming a soft lullaby. When the dwarf awoke, he grabbed Bilbo's arm with suprising strength. Fear spiked through Bilbo's heart. The dwarf mumbled, "mind me of me 'mam. She sang me to sleep as a wee babe." He reached up to his ear, then pressed something into Bilbo's hand. "I'll tell her how ye treated me as yer own." The dwarf fell back asleep. Bilbo opened his hand to find a silver ear cuff engraved with an intricate design. He closed his fist tightly. Perhaps they did not all hate him.

The next night, Bilbo sat with a man who the healers said would not last much longer. The man's eyes were closed but he didn't sleep. Every breath was a great effort. Bilbo gently spoke to him of the rolling, green hills of the Shire, the beauty of the evening sunset and the feel of the cool morning dew on bare feet. He held the man's hand through the night. When he returned the next day, the man's cot was empty. One of the healer's handed him a small ring. "He said to give you this before he passed." "I don't understand," Bilbo said accepting the ring in his palm. "He said you eased his mind. It was a kindness in his last hour." Bilbo closed his palm and swallowed around the lump in his throat. He was thankful that if he couldn't ease the suffering of his own dwarves, but he could at least be of help to others.

Days passed. He'd heard little of his dwarves since he'd left Thorin's tent. He was happy to hear one night in the mess tent that both Kili and Fili had awakened. He heard a passerby mention that the dwarf king would indeed recover and reenter the mountain. He heard more of the news that concerned the men. They planned on staying and rebuilding Dale. With winter fast approaching, the dwarves had invited the surviving men and their families to take refuge in Erebor. They would work together to make the halls of Erebor more habitable and come spring the favor would be returned to the men.

With all the talk of plans, he'd given much thought to what his own next steps would be. While his head told him there was no place for him here, to return to the Shire, his heart told him there was no place else he could be. He could not leave. Even if all he loved had turned their backs on him, he could not leave them. But Bilbo knew he could not stay unnoticed in Erebor. So he volunteered for the outpost, a refurbished building at the edge of Dale where a small garrison would keep watch for invaders. He knew the winter would be felt more harshly there, but his secret would be safe.

His dwarves never searched for him, it seemed. Gandalf, however, did find him. He did not know just how much he knew, but Gandalf did not pry or question his motives.

"My dear Bilbo," he said, "I only want to be sure that this what you really want."

"It is," he'd replied.

In the end, Gandalf only took instructions for the overseeing of his properties in his absence and promised not to make mention of his whereabouts to the dwarves.

The men did not connect him to the vague stories of the Thief of Erebor. They certainly didn't know what a Halfling was. His changed appearance also helped hide him. His overgrown hair hid his ears. He'd taken to wearing soft boots to hide his feet. Most thought him a man of small stature or a pretty dwarfling. Everyone was too busy to notice anything significant about him. They only knew he was a good cook, an entertaining story teller and a kind soul. He served the garrison well through the winter. His belly grew and the men teased him about the weight he put on over the months, chiding him for over tasting his dishes. He didn't mind. He would laugh at their jokes, rub his belly and sigh, "yes, life will be good again."

When he laid down in his bunk at night, his mind would wander. He would remember his dwarves. He wondered how they fared. He would especially remember his Durins, Kili and Fili whom he had grown to love as if they were his own nephews. He remembered Thorin and the love that had grown between them, dashed to bits by his own betrayal. He would worry about discovery. How would others treat him if they knew? What he was was unheard of outside of the Shire and frankly, not that common in the Shire to begin with. He wondered at Yavanna blessing him because blessed him she had.

He knew it was a babe growing within him. He recognized now that the pains he'd experienced where the changes. His body would never be the same. He wasn't sure how he felt about that, but he was sure he wanted the babe, especially now that he was alone again. He was too afraid to seek out a healer, but they wouldn't know what to do with a male hobbit pregnancy anyway. Who had heard of such things? He worried about the things he didn't know. Hobbits carried seven months, but what of dwarves? What of a blending of the two? What would happen when it came time to deliver? Maybe he should have returned to the Shire. How was he going to support himself and a babe? On and on his mind circled until he would fall asleep.

As the winter faded, he found a small house on the outskirts of Dale. It was only two rooms, barely more than a shack. He claimed it and when the rebuilding began, he was able to quickly repair it with help. It had no luxuries, but it would keep him warm and dry. He was more interested in the land around it. He planned and planted a large garden. He also returned to work with the healers. This, he later decided, was his mistake.


	3. Good intentions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People like Bilbo, I mean.. Ash. They only want to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still un-beta'd, so sorry for any mistakes, weird spacing or what have you. Also, still don't know what I'm doing or where I'm going with this, but hey, that's life!

One of the elder healers, Armin watched Bilbo as he stretched his back and rubbed his belly as he stood. He'd seen too many signs to ignore.

"Ash," he called. Bilbo came over to Armin's work desk and waited for his instructions. "Ash, you have been such a help to us. We were lucky to have you after the battle and since. I'm sorry to say we've never learned much about you." Bilbo's eyes grew wide as Armin frowned. "But now it seems I must ask some questions. Are you seeing a midwife? Who is keeping watch over your pregnancy?"

Bilbo said nothing for several moments before stammering out, "no... no one."

Armin sighed. "I am only concerned for your safety, my friend, for you and the babe. What about the father? I have heard you live alone."

Bilbo squeezed his hands together. "The father?" he asked shakily.

"Yes, the father." Armin chuckled. "You know, it took me awhile to realize but then I remembered that dwarrowdams, you look so much like male dwarrows that I mistook you for one! You're the right size. I just couldn't figure out why you had no beard, but then you came back to us already showing your pregnancy and I knew for sure!"  He leaned towards Bilbo and whispered, "you're much too pretty to be male. I told Eleni so."

Armin looked worriedly at the silent Bilbo.  "You'll forgive me won't you?  It's been so many years since dwarves have been among us. We didn't remember."  He paused.  "Ash, they tell me you live alone.  Why do you not live in the mountain with your people?  Why is the babe's father not taking care of you?"

"The father..." Bilbo choked out, his eyes filling with tears remembering just who was his babe's father.  "I... he... the battle... then.."  Bilbo looked up into Armin's face unsure what to say.  

Armin reached out and placed a sympathetic hand on his shoulder.  "I see. Is that why you chose to live in Dale instead of the mountain?"  

Bilbo nodded, tears falling down his cheeks.  "I can't... I just..."  

Armin hushed him.  "It's alright, my dear.  I understand.  Many fine warriors fell that day.  But you must let us look after you.  Will you let us do that?"

Bilbo wiped the tears from his eyes, thinking of the healer's misconception.  Perhaps this could help him.  If they thought him a dwarf, then they wouldn't identify him as a hobbit.  It really was a stretch of the imagination to say he was a pregnant, female dwarf, but he was a little person and also pregnant.  He could see why it was the only explanation Armin thought fit since he had no knowledge of hobbits.  He could work with it.  He didn't know how long he could hold the deception, but maybe with the changes his body had already made, it might be enough to just confuse them.  They could write it off as odd dwarvish biology, females being so much like males.

He nodded.  Armin smiled.  "Good, good.  We'll look after you.  Don't you worry."  Bilbo smiled tentatively.  The healer's assurances actually made him feel better.

Weeks passed.  Bilbo began harvesting from his garden.  It was more than enough to keep him fed.  He had worried about proper nutrition but between what he grew and what he traded for, he lacked for nothing.  He sold his excess, saving the extra coin for when he would not be able to work.  He was not the only one gardening or farming, but with both Erebor and Dale needing food stuffs, he did well for himself.  As thanks, he built a little bird feeder as a shrine to Yavanna in his garden.  He planted flowers around it and prayed that everything would be well with the babe.

The men of Dale accepted the healer's words that Bilbo was a widowed dwarrowdam and most left him to himself.  The children were curious.  When they came round, he told them exciting stories so they visited him frequently.  If he didn't always answer immediately to the name Ash, the children thought nothing of it.  A couple of the most trustworthy lads ran errands for him and sold his produce to the grocers.  He easily avoided being seen by most people.  Bilbo felt a little proud that not even Bard knew that his local dwarrowdam was actually Bilbo Baggins of the Shire.  He was left in relative peace.

The months passed.  Bilbo had his routine and like most Bagginses, that kept him pretty content.  The babe grew and Bilbo knew he was frustrating his healer friends.  They would ask him questions about his pregnancy.  He would tell them what he could, but it wasn't much.  When they questioned his ignorance, he would only say that he was very young and simply did not know.  Armin, who had taken a special liking to Bilbo, worried about this ignorance.

As spring became summer, Bilbo confined himself to his house and garden.  Armin came by once a week for tea and to examine him.  He fussed over their lack of knowledge and would make Bilbo recite everything he knew about his pregnancy.  Bilbo would smile and reassure him that he was fine.  

"But you don't even know when the baby is due," Armin would cry out, exasperated.  

"Soon," Bilbo would smile into his tea.  "What does it matter?  It will be soon."

As Armin left, waving to Bilbo, he decided it was time to learn more.  Birthing could be a dangerous thing and he was concerned for his friend.  The next day, he rode up to the mountain to consult with Oin, who he had kept in touch with, trading their knowledge.  Armin hoped Oin would tell him what he needed to know for Ash's delivery.

Oin heartily greeted him and invited him into his office for tea.  Oin's eyebrows rose at the mention of a widowed dwarrowdam living alone in Dale.  It was unusual and they hadn't heard of it until now.  But his eyebrows furrowed with concern as Armin laid out all the details.  He poured the tea and began to ask questions.  "Why does she not come to the mountain?"

"She is grief stricken at the loss of her mate in the battle.  The mountain seems to remind her too much of him."  

Oin harumphed, "she would be take care of."

Armin set his cup down. "I have tried talking to her, but she is adamant that she will stay in Dale.  I worry for her.  She is young and I've been told that pregnancy can be hard on your females."

"How young is she?" Oin asked.  

"Fifty, she says when she conceived."  

Oin's cup clattered onto his desktop.  "FIFTY? I don't think I heard you right.  Would you repeat that?"

"Yes, fifty.  She told me so."  

Oin sputtered for a moment.  "A mere babe herself!  And alone?  Does she have no family?  How did she end up in Dale then?"  

Armin held his hand out.  "Peace, my friend.  I'm afraid I don't know much of her story.  She prefers to keep to herself.  The problem we have is that she is so young, she doesn't know much about dwarven pregnancy.  She cannot tell me when to expect the babe or what any of the particulars.  Will you not help me to help her?"

Oin sat silently thinking for a few moments.  "Aye, that I will.  But I think I'd like to examine her myself."

"I don't think she'd object.  Come down to Dale and I'll take you round to her house."  Oin nodded, poured Armin another cup of tea and began telling him all he would need to know.

Oin sat for awhile, thinking after Armin had departed.  With a muttered, "it's not right", he got up and walked to the Council chambers.  It was late in the day.  He knew he would find Thorin and Balin discussing the day's matters in the empty chambers.  He knocked and entered when bid.  He sat down, looking around the table.  Thorin sat at the head, Fili and Kili at his side.  Balin sat shuffling parchment.  He waived at Gloin who sat tallying numbers.  He waited until they addressed him.

"Oin, it's not often we see you in these chambers.  How can we help you?  Do you need more supplies for the medical wards?"  Thorin asked.  

"No, my king.  I've just learned of something unusual that disturbs me and I'm not sure how to proceed."  Everyone looked up at him.  

"Tell us," Thorin prompted.

"I've just been informed that in Dale, there is a young dwarrowdam..."

"Why doesn't she live here in Erebor?" Kili interrupted.  

"From what I'm made to understand, she's widowed.  She lost her mate in the battle," Oin continued.  

"Then, he must've been one of the Iron Hill dwarves," Balin said.  "How did she end up here?  Did she come with Dain's army?"

"Don’t know.  It's a mystery.  The healer, Armin, says only that she chooses to live in Dale and has no family here."  

"Regardless, we would welcome her," Thorin said. "Her mate died defending our mountain.  We would help her."

"Oh, there's more," Oin said looking up at his audience.  "She's pregnant..."  

"All the more reason," Thorin began.

"...and she's only fifty," Oin finished.  There was a moment of stunned silence before everyone spoke at once.

"What!"  
"Fifty!"  
"A child!"  
"On her own!"  
"That's not right!"  
"That's what I said!"

Thorin's fist slammed onto the table, silencing everyone.  "A mystery indeed!  Tomorrow, Oin, you and Balin will go down and see this young woman.  We will care for the widow of our defender if she has no one to care for her."  He paused, considering.  "I have to wonder that she married so young.  Certainly, her family would not have allowed it.  And if she had come with Dain's army, why would they have left her behind?  We need to know more.  Find out what you can.  Offer her a place here in Erebor.  Convince her that we only seek to help her.  I would not have the first dwarven child in a new generation born in Dale and not Erebor.  It would be a blessing from Mahal to have a child born here so soon."  

There were murmured assents around the table as Oin rose, "tomorrow, then."

Thorin quietly dismissed everyone and walked out of the chambers. A first born in a new generation. He did not want to make the assumption that it was a sign, but maybe it was. It gave him a glimmer of hope. Maybe Mahal hadn't completely given up on them, on him, even if he had been gold mad for a time and might've led his people to utter destruction. Thankfully, all of that had passed. It gave him hope that this venture to reclaim Erebor as the home his people deserved was not in vain.

His mind turned around what little they knew. Who was this woman? Why had she not come to the mountain? Would she allow them to bring her here, to help her? Where was she from? Who were her people?

He thought of his own people, especially those in Ered Luin. Trains of returning dwarves had only just begun to arrive and not many dwarrowdams were among them yet. It took longer to uproot families. He didn't expect many for a month or two yet. His own sister, Dis had yet to arrive.

His thoughts turned to his sister. He eagerly anticipated her arrival. He had been able to give her and her sons so little since Erebor fell, but now they had their kingdom back. She would be a true princess again, his nephews true princes. He could give them everything, especially after they'd lost so much.

Thinking of what he had lost reminded him of Bilbo and he sighed. Bilbo, whom he loved and had driven off with his greed and anger. He had hoped to introduce him to Dis, to see Dis come to love him as he, Kili and Fili had. But now... he didn't know where Bilbo was or how he fared. That hurt him the most, he thought, the not knowing. If he could know for sure that Bilbo was safe in the Shire, he could rest easier.

Damn that blasted wizard for leaving and not telling them what had become of their burglar. He knew it was his own fault too. Why had he not asked anyone to keep track of Bilbo? Who knew what had been in the hobbit's thoughts? Had Bilbo really forgiven him? If he had, why would he leave? Had he been in the battle? Had he been wounded? So many questions and no one could seem to remember anything. The wondering was slowly driving him insane.

He sighed. If he could not look after his Bilbo, he would look after his people. It was all that was left to him.


	4. Tea and surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Surprise guests come to call on Ash.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all of you kudos-givers! Y'all are awesome! I haven't written anything in a long time so thank you for showing interest.
> 
> Still un-beta'd, unless you count the twenty times I read this before I posted it.

Bilbo knelt in the garden, one of his lads working with him.  He'd begun to teach a couple of them basic gardening so they could help their own families.  He heard Armin calling out his name.  He thought it strange that the healer would be back so soon.  He stood, dusted off his knees, looking to Armin's approach.  When he made out Armin's companions, his eyes went wide and he dropped his trowel.  

"Quinn, run on home lad.  That'll be all for today," he said patting the boy on the shoulder.  Bilbo didn't wait to see if the boy had heard.  He turned and ran into his home, slamming and bolting the door.  As the men approached, they saw small arms reach out the window and pull the shutters closed.

Armin chuckled. "I told you she likes her privacy. I think we may have surprised her."  He knocked on the door.  "No need to be afraid, Ash.  I've brought my friends Oin and Balin.  Oin is the dwarven healer.  Won't you invite us in?"  They could hear furniture being slid and piled against the door. 

Bilbo's mind was a blank.  He hadn't anticipated Armin going to the dwarves for help.  That's what he got for deceiving a friend who was only trying to help him.  "No," he said finally.  "I don't need help.  Thank you anyway."

Oin and  Balin looked at each other.  They would recognize that anxious voice anywhere.  "Please Ash," Armin tried again.  "He knows everything we need to know to make sure you have a safe delivery."  

"I highly doubt that," Bilbo shot back.  This wasn't going to end well.

Oin raised an eyebrow and decided not to take that as an affront to his skills. "The direct approach would probably be best," Balin said before turning to address the door.  "We know it's you, laddie.  You might as well open up.  We're not leaving until we've seen you proper now."   

Bilbo squeezed his eyes closed in frustration.  "Thank you, but that won't be necessary.  I assure you, I'm fine.  You have no business with me so... you... you just have a good morning."   

Balin noticed Armin's confusion.  "Long story short: your dwarrowdam in there is really our missing, rather male, halfling.  We'll get everything explained once we're inside."  Balin turned back to the door.  "Bilbo, lad, we've not heard anything of you since the battle.  Please talk to us.  We've all been mighty worried about you." 

Bilbo shook his head, even if they couldn't see.  "You weren't worried before, so no need to worry now.  I thank you for your concern, but there's no need for you to have come all the way down here."  

Balin sighed, "Aye, laddie.  We wronged you.  We weren't in our right minds.  That doesn't excuse us, but that doesn't change the fact that we care about you either.  Will you not forgive us and let us in?" 

Oin laid his hand on Balin's shoulder.  "I don't think diplomacy is going to work."  Oin stepped up to the door.  "Bilbo, let us in and let's have a look at you.  If need be, we'll break the door down.  So you might as well just let us in now."

Bilbo's shoulders slumped.  They really would.  It was too late.  He'd been discovered.  They wouldn't forget.  If it wasn't today, they'd be back tomorrow, probably with more dwarves.  He sighed.  "Fine.  But you'll have to come in the back door.  There's too much blocking this one now.  Just come 'round." 

The dwarves followed Armin to the rear of the house.  Bilbo stood in the open doorway.  Balin and Oin paused to take in his appearance.  They would not have recognized him from a distance and maybe not even if they had bumped into him in the market.  His hair was now long, past his shoulders and several strands were braided.  Balin noted how they were placed in such a way as to hide his ear tips.  His tunic was oversized and came to his knees in almost a dress-like fashion.  They were surprised to see the soft doe-skin boots on his feet.  Bilbo saw them staring at them and shrugged.  

The clothing and hair was a fair disguise, but it was more than that.  Bilbo had grown thin on the quest.  Since they had last seen him, his body and cheeks had mostly filled back out.  His skin glowed with health.  It was almost as if he was lit from within.  Pretty, young dwarrowdam indeed!

Bilbo only had two rooms so he ushered them past his bed into the main room.  He stood and pointed at the stacked furniture against the door.  "You'll have to pull the chairs down."  

Balin whistled.  "How'd you get all of that up there so quickly?"  

"I was very motivated," Bilbo replied dryly.  The men righted Bilbo's furniture and took seats.  Balin offered a chair to Bilbo.  "No thank you," he said waiving it off.  "I'd rather stand."  

"We're not gonna run you off, laddie," Balin said with a wry grin. 

"That remains to be seen," Bilbo muttered, puttering to his kitchen area to fill a tea kettle. "You'll have to excuse me. I wasn't expecting company," he explained as he placed the kettle over the fireplace.  He fussed with the cups he had, wishing he had his mother's tea service.  Having a complete set always had made him feel like he was armored for battle.  Without it, he felt vulnerable.  

He took a steadying breath as he reached for the tea.  "Kili and Fili, how are they?"  Balin smiled.  It was telling that Bilbo asked about the boys first.  It confirmed to him that Bilbo still cared for them.

"Well.  They are well.  They both took many wounds.  We thought they would lie in a healing sleep for some time but they woke and healed quickly."

"Yes, I'm at a bit of a loss to explain just how quickly," Oin muttered.  Bilbo stilled his gathering. 

Before he could think anything, Balin continued. "The rest of the company is just fine.  Although I don't think they knew this much work would be waiting for them at the end of the quest.  If they had known, they might have thought twice about signing the contract!"  The dwarves laughed heartily, amused at the truth of the jest.  

As the laughter died, Balin's face became pensive.  "Thorin's dream of a restored Erebor has become our dream.  We all labor towards that end now."

His words hung in the air for a moment.  Then Oin blurted, "so what's with this dwarrowdam nonsense?"

Bilbo blushed and turned to Armin.  "I truly am sorry for the deception, my friend.  But I needed to be... invisible and you provided a way."  He turned back to the dwarves.  "What I am has not been seen outside the Shire in ages.  It would have attracted too much notoriety.  I just wanted to be left in peace.  So when Armin mistook what I was, I didn't correct him.  If the people here looked at me and saw something other than a hobbit, the better my chances were."

"Chances of what?" Oin asked, watching Bilbo walk to the table with a small tray.

"Of not being found.  Don't they call me the Thief of Erebor?  Hardly high praise," Bilbo scoffed.  I was already unwelcome and my deeds unappreciated.  Wouldn't a thief be more so?"

"I think you'll find you're very much appreciated," Balin noted.  "But let's start at the beginning so we can get all of this cleared up, hmm?  Where did you go after the battle?" Balin asked.  

"Nowhere.  I stayed in the camp."  

"Why did you not stay with us?"  

"I wasn't invited," Bilbo said biting his tongue.  There were so many accusations he wanted to make, but they would not soothe his hurts.  He concentrated on speaking evenly.  "None of you would so much as look at me.  It was apparent that no one wanted me there.  So I went to the men's tents.  I worked with them and they provided for me."   

Balin felt sure Thorin would not be happy that men and not dwarves had provided for Bilbo when he had needed it.  "And have you been among them all this time?"

"Yes." 

"Where you in the mountain during the winter?"

"No." 

"Where were you then?" 

Bilbo paused.  "I'd rather not say."  

Oin grunted.  "Why not?"   


"I don't think you'll like it," Bilbo said slowly.  "And you will probably tell Thorin... and he won't like it either."

"You might as well tell us now," Balin prompted. "He'll want to know everything.  He'll find out, one way or another." 

Bilbo rubbed his hand over his face.  The jig really was up.  "I stayed in the Dale garrison over the winter.  I was their cook," he explained, retrieving the tea kettle from the fire place. 

"You're right," Balin said.  "I don't like it.  It wasn't very safe, especially in your condition, if I'm understanding your condition correctly.  I'm sure Thorin will have words to say about that."

Bilbo set the kettle down onto the table with unnecessary force.  "Well he doesn't get to have a say."  He took a deep breath, preparing the tea.  Now was not the time to lose his temper.

Balin cleared his throat.  "He is the... other father, isn't he, laddie?  Truly, you are carrying a babe?" Balin asked incredulously.  Bilbo shot Balin a scathing look and gestured to his protruding abdomen.  "I believe you, lad.  It's just, we've never heard of such a thing.  Please explain it to us."

Bilbo sighed heavily as he sat and poured the tea.  "You dwarves, Mahal carved you from stone to endure.  Hobbits, we were made by Yavanna.  She made us to be abundant."  Bilbo passed the cups around, pausing to collect his thoughts.  "You didn't see evidence of it when you came to the Shire, but hobbits, we tend to have an abundance of children.  When she made us, she made us all able to carry young, both male and female.  Gender didn't matter to her.  And it didn't matter to us either, at least, until we wandered Middle Earth.  We didn't always live in the Shire you know.  Other races didn't understand how our males could give birth.  They said it was against nature.  They ridiculed us or worse.  Sometimes they ran us off.  They tried to impose their way of life on us.  And to some extent, I guess they succeeded.  Over time, less and less males carried.  More couples choose to have only the female bear young."

Bilbo rubbed his stomach slowly, thinking.  "I don't think most of the males have the ability to bear young anymore.  But I'm a Baggins.  It's one of the oldest bloodlines.  Perhaps the Tooks can trace their lineage as far back but only because they've always been our leaders and protectors.  And I'm half Took, so I come by it from both sides."  Bilbo thought there was perhaps another, more pertinent reason, but he kept that part to himself.

Armin shifted.  "So you were born capable of bearing?" he said thoughtfully.   


"Um, no.  There is an actual physical... how do I say this?  Maturation?  That has to happen.  You'll have to forgive me if I'm not explaining this right.  I'm not a healer.  Males are born all male.  If they are capable of bearing young, during puberty, they change.  They... grow the female parts.  Most of us don't experience that part any more."

"And you did?" Oin asked.

"No, actually I didn't.  At least, not when I was in my tweens.  But I think... I think something changed in me when we first came to the mountain.  I think I felt it happening."  Bilbo squinted, trying to recall the experience.

"I remember," Oin said.  "You weren't well.  You brought up yer supper many a night."

"Yes, most unpleasant.  There was also pain, in the abdomen... and below."  Bilbo cocked an eyebrow to be sure they understood just where below the pain had been.

"So that would explain your... peculiarities," Armin added.   


"What peculiarities?" Oin asked Armin.

"Ash... Bilbo... has both male and female anatomy.  I thought it odd when I examined him.  I suspected something was not right, forgive me, unique... about you," he said nodding towards Bilbo.  "But without knowing anything about dwarven anatomy, I was unable to draw any comparisons or conclusions.  It was one of the reasons I went to you, Oin. When you examine him, you'll see what I mean."

Both healers turned to look at Bilbo, who paused in the act of lifting his cup.  "Yes, well, I'd like to finish my tea before any of that happens, if you don't mind!"

"Very well.  Perhaps in the meantime, Oin can fill in the details of dwarven pregnancy.  I suspect everything you've told me so far has been about hobbit pregnancy, yes?"  Armin asked.  Bilbo nodded.  "The basics then.  How long does a hobbit pregnancy last?"   


"Seven months."

"And do you know how many months you are now?"

"I suspect eight."  Both Oin and Armin looked at Bilbo in surprise.  "It's not been a typical hobbit pregnancy."

"And that's why you haven't been able to give me an estimated date for delivery."

"Yes.  I'm not sure when the pregnancy really started and since it's gone on longer than it normally would, I don't know how long it will last."

"Dwarrowdams carry ten months," Oin offered.

"Hobbits don't usually bother trying to affix an exact due date anyway," Bilbo explained.  "Babies will come when they're ready.  I was early myself.  I was very small.  Some folk said I was ill but I didn't have any health problems.  The Tooks liked to say that I was eager to be in the world, that I was ready to have adventures."  He smiled softly at the memory.  "So this babe will come when he's ready."

"He?" Balin jumped on Bilbo's words.  "Do you know the babe's gender?"

"No, but I wasn't going to go around calling my baby an 'it'.  And if the last two generations of Durins have been any indication..."

"Five," Balin interjected.  "At least the last five generations have had a firstborn son."

"Well that settles that," said Bilbo smoothing his tunic over his belly.   



	5. Page 6, subparagraph A

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Balin and Oin are trying to get the job done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is becoming way more detailed than I thought it would be, which is fine, really. I also kind of feel like I should've titled the last chapter, "Lucy, you've got some 'splaining to do!"
> 
> Please note that there's a bit of an examination in here. So if that makes you uncomfortable, skim past it.
> 
> Also, I didn't major in anatomy, so we're just running with it as it is.

"You said it hasn't been a typical hobbit pregnancy. What else did you mean by that?" Armin asked.

"Oh, little things. I find I'm craving a lot of meat, more than I would normally eat. I want to say my belly is a bit harder than a normal hobbit's would be, but you dwarves are like rock so that doesn't surprise me. He's strong and very vigorous. He kicks my innards something fierce. My belly is bigger than a normal hobbit's would be, but dwarves are generally larger than hobbits. I can't imagine how large I'll be if I end up carrying all ten months!"

Bilbo paused. "Actually, that kind of worries me. I'm a good size for a hobbit, but my frame is smaller than a dwarf's. How much larger do you think I'll get? Do you think I'll carry all ten months even though I'm a hobbit? What if he gets too big? What if the time comes and I can't actually birth him? My body's only recently changed. What if it doesn't work right? How will he get out? What if you have to cut him out of me? Will he survive that?"

Oin saw the panic looming on Bilbo's face and touched his hand to forstall him. "Easy there, lad. Don't get carried away. I'm sure it will all be just fine."

Bilbo took a few deep breaths to collect himself. "That's another thing. Hobbits tend to be very easy going during pregnancy. It's a very joyous time for us. But my emotions are like a pendulum, swinging from one extreme to the other. One minute I'm happy, the next I'm angry. I'll warn you, I don't have much control of my temper right now. Then my thoughts run away from me and I start worrying about the craziest things. Or I'll get maudlin and find myself crying. I don't like it. I feel like I'm crying a lot. At the drop of a hat. For no reason. At all. It's not normal!"

Balin and Oin chuckled. "It's not funny!" exclaimed Bilbo, his face heating. It was like they weren't taking him seriously.

"Oh, but it is, lad," Oin said. Bilbo's face quickly went from pink to red. Oin coughed. He didn't want an angry, pregnant almost-dwarrowdam on his hands right now. "Normal, that is. That's typical for a dwarven pregnancy. Everything you're describing is every pregnant dwarrowdam I've ever known."

"Oh. Well. In that case..." Bilbo took a sip of his tea, his ire dying as suddenly as it had flared. "Even the paranoia?"

"Especially the paranoia," Oin confirmed with a laugh.

"I still don't like it. It makes me feel like I'm not in control of myself. It's not very hobbit-ish."

"The babe is half dwarf. Maybe that shouldn't surprise us that you're going to have dwarvish... symptoms," Oin pointed out. "Would you allow me to examine you now?"

Bilbo knew there was no avoiding it. He knew Thorin would want to know that he and the babe were fine and would not be satisfied until he'd been examined by a dwarf healer and someone he trusted. That narrowed the options down to just Oin.

He sighed and stood. "In the bedroom, then."

Armin and Oin rose. Balin stayed seated. "I'll just wait out here." Bilbo was relieved. He really did not want to feel like an oddity that everyone flocked to see.

The men followed Bilbo into his small bedroom, shutting the door. Armin went directly to the wash basin by the bed, Oin following. They washed their hands as Bilbo removed his trousers and undergarments and laid down on the bed. He was never comfortable with this part but that was probably because he'd spent his life as a male, a male male. This state of being a male child-bearer was more sometimes than he could easily accept. Not that he would change it. Not now that his son, a son of his own, was growing within his very body. The thought just exceeded the confines of his mind at times.

Bilbo flinched at the feel of Armin's cool hands on his skin, pushing up his tunic. Oin's hands, by comparison, were rough and warm when he began feeling around Bilbo's belly from the other side of the bed. He pushed against it, testing its tension. "This feels like normal 'hardness' for a dwarf. You hobbits are just a softer people. No need to worry about that."

He pressed harder all around the edges then in the center. "I don't feel much of the babe. I'm guessing it's just small like you were, Bilbo. He'll probably catch up on his growth in the next few weeks. Shy, too. He's not kicking me back."

"Well, he kicks me often enough, I promise you. Maybe he's just being obstinate like his father."

Oin raised an eyebrow. "Or maybe he's just hiding like the other one." Oin and Bilbo stared at each other for a moment before they both snickered.

"I don't feel anything out of the ordinary. Raise you knees now, lad. Let's get a look at the rest of you." Bilbo did as requested, his face flushing red with embarrasment as Oin repositioned himself to the end of the bed. There were two windows set high in the wall that let in enough light for the healers to examine him closely but still privately.

Oin pushed apart his knees and grunted. "By Mahal! You said it, but it's still a surprise to actually see it!" Bilbo tensed as he felt Oin begin.

"Complete birth canal. You see why I thought he was female?" Armin asked.

Oin continued his examination in silence. "Yes. Very strange, indeed," he finally commented as he withdrew his hands. "But other than that, I don't find anything out of the ordinary. Looks like your pregnancy is normal... relatively speaking," he said turning back to the basin. "You can redress now." Both healers turned their backs and washed their hands while Bilbo redressed.

They filed back out to the main room to find that Balin had made a fresh pot of tea. "Thought you might like another cup after that," he said pushing the teapot towards Bilbo.

"Yes, thank you. Thank you very much. Bit unnerving, all that."

"Doesn't look like you have anything to worry about, lad. But because you're having a dwarf-like pregnancy, I'd like to keep a good eye on you."

"Does that mean you expect it to become difficult?" Bilbo asked.

"I don't know what it'll be like for you. For that reason, I'd like you to be close, just in case. I don't want to frighten you, but yes, dwarven pregnancy can be very hard on the female. Some become bedridden in their final months. Most have a long, hard delivery."

Bilbo considered what that would mean. "He's not going to let me stay down here, is he, when he finds out?" he asked quitely. Everyone became still. "Is there any way that you would not tell him... that it's me?" Bilbo looked up at the dwarves. He knew it was a useless question to ask.

"Bilbo," Balin began carefully. This part was the reason for his coming. "We'd like to invite you to the mountain. We would like very much to help you and take care of you. You are very precious to us." He looked Bilbo straight in the eye to make sure Bilbo knew he was in earnest. "We all care very much about you and want what's best for you and the babe."

They sat quietly, waiting for Bilbo to respond, but he said nothing. The silence stretched on until it became uncomfortable. Oin shifted in his chair. He was not the diplomatic one so he waited, deferring to Balin's wisdom in the matter.

Finally, Bilbo heaved a great sigh, finally verbalizing his internal debate. "He's not. I know he's not. He's not going to be happy. In fact, I'm pretty sure he's going to be very angry with me for having hid this from him. Like I was going to march on up to Erebor and reveal everything to him as if nothing had happened and this was something normal. He's going to become frighteningly possessive, isn't he?" Bilbo's eyes widened. "He's going to keep me up there, isn't he? He's not going to let me leave..."

Before Bilbo could continue on, Armin laid his hand on Bilbo's arm. "Steady now. I think you're getting carried away again. Surely, it's not like that." Armin look pointedly at Balin.

"No, laddie. It's not," he said. "I can see you have some fears about it, but I assure you... you have nothing to fear. Not from Thorin. Not from any of us." He waited as Bilbo took a deep breath. "He's very eager to have you come stay in the mountain, and will be more so once he finds out it's you. He cares very deeply for you and you are carrying his child. But he is not going to keep you against your will. He would never do that and no one else would allow it to happen. So don't fear." Balin felt like he couldn't assure Bilbo of that enough.

"Would you like some time to think about it?" Balin asked gently. Bilbo's brow furrowed considering it seriously.

"I think... no..."

Balin frowned in disappointment.

"...no," Bilbo continued, "I don't need more time to think on it. I'll... I'll go."

Balin let out a gust of breath in relief. He would have been terribly disappointed himself if Bilbo had refused. Plus, he would not have wanted to explain all of this to Thorin if Bilbo had decided to stay.

"I miss everyone, very much." Bilbo looked up at the dwarves. "Hobbits, we need to be around family, especially during a pregnancy. I've been very alone here. I've been lucky to have a few friends," he said smiling shyly at Armin, "but I've missed my family. You... you all... you're the only close family I have. I will come."

Oin slapped Balin on the shoulder, both of them beaming widely.

"But," Bilbo continued, "I have a few requests to make."

"Tell us what you need, laddie. We'll do our very best for you."

"I need to gather my things, so I can't go today. And I need a little time to sort this all out. You can come back for me tomorrow." Balin nodded. Bilbo took a deep breath. He would go to the mountain but it would be his way, on his own terms.

"I know Thorin, how he gets. So there are some concessions I'd like," he said. This was dangerous waters for Bilbo. If you asked for concessions from a dwarf, they'd most likely want you to lay out your terms and ask for some give for your take.

"Tomorrow, send a cart for me. I don't think I could make the walk up there and I'm not up to riding a pony anymore. I know he'll be concerned like there's a pack of orcs or, heaven forbid, elves just waiting to make off with me, but don't you let him send a bunch of dwarves down here. I'll not enter Erebor in some large, unruly, unneccesary procession. Or a gaudy one. You just send a simple cart for me and my things. And if he insists on sending someone to protect me, send Dwalin. And only him. I want this to be quiet and orderly, not like some traveling wild band of troubadours."

"That's very reasonable," Balin said.

"In the mountain, I'll need my own space, my own room. It doesn't need to be big, just sometimes, I need some privacy. I'll not be co-opted by Thorin just because it's his child. I'll also need a place where I can go to that is outside and that's actual earth. I need to put my feet on the ground. I'm a hobbit, you understand?"

"I think we can find you something," Balin said, his mind already working on possibilities.

"I'll need access to a kitchen. I'm a pregnant hobbit. I eat a lot and frequently and I like to fix my food my own way when a craving comes on me." The dwarves chuckled. They knew how hobbits were concerning food.

"I'm very willing to let you take over my care, Oin. I will defer to you since this is a dwarf's child I carry. But Armin is also my healer and my friend. I want him to be able to come see me if he wishes it. I don't want anyone to be turned away from visiting me."

Armin patted Bilbo's hand and smiled at him. He was glad Bilbo was being very vocal on what he wanted and also insisting that he be allowed to visit. He would have been very concerned if he had not been.

Bilbo's face grew serious. "And I will not be denied my freedom. I want to be able to come and go and do what I want, when I want. I'm not a child and I am a free being."

"I completely understand and I agree," said Balin. "No one wants to take your freedom. But there are places in the mountain that are awaiting repair and are not safe yet. It's also a very large place and very confusing to navigate if you don't know where you're going. We'd all prefer it if you'd allow someone to accompany you. Strictly for safety reasons," he said raising his hand to forestall Bilbo's protests.

"Fine," Bilbo said sullenly. "But within reason. I'm not going to be followed around by a gaggle of soldiers because Thorin is overly concerned for my safety. It has to be reasonable. To me!"

"I understand what you're saying. I will make him understand as well."

"These things are not negotiable, Balin. I need them if I'm going to stay there."

"Very well. Now..."

"And... and I reserve the right to ask for other concessions... when I think of them!" he added quickly. "I can't think straight right now. This is all too much! I'm sure I'm forgetting something."

"Peace, laddie. Like I said, we'll not force you into anything. We'll do what you ask, whenever you ask. This isn't some contract we're trying to force you into or outmaneuver you on. This is an open invitation to live among us, with us... as an equal... and a beloved friend."

Bilbo smiled. "Yes, that would be... that would be lovely. I could do that."

"I'm glad. Now, we'll leave you to your preparations. We'll send Dwalin down..." Balin looked at Bilbo questioningly.

"Midmorning, if you please."

"Midmorning it is. If you need anything before then or if anything happens, send a messenger up to the mountain," Balin looked at Armin to include him on that. They all stood and Balin clapped Bilbo on the shoulder. "I'll be very glad to have you back amongst us."

Oin grasped Bilbo's shoulder for a moment. "Take it easy with your preparations. Nothing like what you pulled earlier with the furniture, hmm?" Bilbo smiled, chagrined. "Tomorrow then!"

Bilbo watched the dwarves leave. It would be good to see everyone again. He turned back to Armin, looking sheepish. "If you'll stay a little longer, I'll tell you the whole story."

Armin laughed and sat back down. "Yes, I think I would appreciate that!"

Balin turned back to see Bilbo one last time as he and Oin walked away. His head was reeling. None of this was what he had expected when coming down the mountain this morning. It felt like a victory. They'd accomplished their mission: find the dwarrowdam, find out everything they could about her, convince her to come back to the mountain.

But for someone who had essentially hid in the shadow of the mountain fearing discovery for quite some time, Bilbo had agreed to come with them very quickly and with very little fuss. He felt like there was another shoe waiting to drop.

"Exactly how are we going to explain this to his majesty?" Oin asked, breaking his reverie.

"Very, very carefully."

Later, after Armin had left, Bilbo sat and considered everything that had been said. This was going to change everything. It was a very sudden turn of events. He still had his concerns, his fears. But he was willing to give it a try, willing to go out on faith that everything would work out. He snorted. It wouldn't be the first time with these dwarves. He stood and thought of what he would need to get done.

Just then there was a knock on his door. He opened it to find a anxious looking Quinn. "Miss Ash, are you alright?" the boy asked. "Only, those were strange men with the healer and you left all of a sudden and I was worried for you."

For a moment, Bilbo was confused by the greeting. Just a bit of time with two of his dwarves and he was back to being Bilbo. Then it hit him in the face, the monumentality of what he'd just agreed to. He stumbled backwards into a chair. Oh goodness, what had he just done? Suddenly everything was spinning and turning white.

He woke up feeling very confused. He was in his bed and someone was holding a cool towel to his forehead.

"There you are," Armin chuckled. Bilbo open his eyes. "I was wondering when it was going to hit you like a runaway wagon. It was a lot to take in." He removed the towel and helped Bilbo sit up. "Your lad came and got me," he said, answering Bilbo's unspoken question.

"How long have I been out," Bilbo coughed, his throat dry. Armin handed him a cup of water.

"Less than half an hour. The boy caught me on the road." Bilbo's hand dropped to his belly. "It didn't harm the babe," Armin assured him. Bilbo sighed in relief. They were quiet for a few moments before Armin spoke. "Are you sure that this is the right decision?"

"I think so. It's all I've been doing since I left the Shire, is hoping I'm making the right decisions. I guess that's all anyone can ever do."

Armin nodded. "Very well. Get up. You'll feel better after you eat."

Bilbo got up slowly. He was mostly sure this was the right decision.

 

 


	6. Advising the king

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somebody has to tell Thorin...

As soon as Balin and Oin reached the gates, they were told Thorin was waiting for them in the King's Chamber, the king's private office attached to the council chambers. Balin turned down the hall and noticed Oin dragging his feet.

"He'll want to hear your full report."

"Aye, I know. I can just see this going very wrong if he's angered. I don't want that, for Bilbo's sake."

Balin knocked on the door, waiting for Thorin's rumbling, "come in." They entered, walking past the small conference table and the sitting area to Thorin's desk. His eyes were flicking between reports, his face in a scowl. Thorin really, really hated paper work. He tried to pawn off what he could, but as they did not have a full functioning government yet, he got stuck with a fair amount.

"Perhaps we should come back later when you're not busy," Balin temporized. It was probably best not to start with a scowling monarch.

"No," Thorin said. "You've come just in time to distract me." He motioned for them to take the chairs in front of his desk. "I very much would like to hear how you found our young mystery."

Balin cleared his throat. He had not figured out a good way to break this news. 'Dear Thorin, we found your missing male beloved who unbelievably is pregnant with your child' didn't seem like the best way to ease him into it.

"Well, very well. There is just an unexpected circumstance." Balin looked at Oin. Oin jerked his head towards Thorin in a 'tell him' gesture. "The healer escorted us to hi... her house. She lives on the outskirts of Dale. It's small but I suspect she chose it because it appears she does some sustenance gardening."

As Balin was speaking, they could hear pounding feet racing down the hall before Fili and Kili burst in, slamming the door behind them.

"Did we miss anything?" Kili asked breathlessly.

"I thought you were training," Thorin glowered at the interruption.

"What? And miss the news about our mystery woman?" Kili responded.

"We love a good mystery," said Fili.

"Besides, Mister Dwalin's on his way. We just ran ahead of him."

"He doesn't want to miss the mystery news either."

"They always have the best surprises."

"Oh, it's got that," Oin muttered.

Thorin looked between Balin and Oin. Balin sighed. "I couldn't think of a way to present this gently, so just... brace yourselves."

"Wait, so is this bad news?" Kili asked.

"Oh no, laddie, it's good news. It's just, you'll get yer surprise." He paused. "Like I was saying, the healer took us to the young miss' house. As we approached, she..."

"Spooked," Oin said. Balin shot Oin a 'you're not helping' look.

"Yes. She ran into her house and barred the door."

"Why would she do that?" Kili questioned.

"When the healer asked her to let us in, she refused, very adamantly."

"Why would she do that?" Kili repeated.

"I swear to all that's holy, Kili, if you don't stop interrupting..." Thorin threatened.

"Sorry, Uncle."

"We could hear her quite clearly through the door and we recognized the voice." Thorin looked at Balin in surprise.

"Wait for it," Oin drawled.

"It was the anxious, overwrought voice of our very own burglar." Balin paused to let it sink in.

"Bilbo," Kili breathed softly, glancing over at Fili. Both of their faces lit up with hope.

"The halfling? What was he doing at the house of our mystery woman?" Thorin demanded.

"No, lad. He wasn't at her house. It's his house. Bilbo is our mystery woman." Balin could see the confusion flit across Thorin's face.

"But didn't the healer come to you because he was concerned about a pregnant dwarrowdam?" Thorin asked Oin.

"Yes."

"So Bilbo is pretending to be a pregnant dwarf?" Thorin asked.

"No. Yes." Balin could see this wasn't working. "Bilbo was pretending to be a pregnant dwarf. It's a disguise he took up to hide himself after the healer mistook him for one. But no, he is not pretending to be pregnant. He actually is." Balin waited for the next question, but none came. "When we finally convinced him to let us in..."

"By threatening to break down the door..." Oin added.

"We were able to see, he truly is pregnant. I know it seems impossible, but he explained it. Without going into detail, he said that both hobbit males and females have the ability to reproduce. And while it's now rare for their men, apparently our burglar is more special than we knew."

Thorin could still hear what Balin was saying but suddenly comprehending the words seemed more difficult. His mind felt foggy and there was a sound like rushing waters dampening what he heard.

"Oin, you saw him."

"Aye, I examined him. He's got some peculiarities, said he went through a physical change when we reached Erebor." Oin looked over at Fili and Kili who were listening intently. He revised what he was going to say to protect Bilbo's privacy and young ears.

"Near we can figure, he's eight months along. That's longer than hobbits carry. From what the lad was tellin' me, he's having more of a dwarven pregnancy than a halfling one."

"Eight months," said Thorin trying to count back in his mind.

"Said he's not sure, but it had to have started before we reached the mountain," Oin supplied.

Thorin's mind was sluggishly working through the time frame and memories. By the time they reached the mountain. By the time he descended into gold madness. By the time he had threatened to throw Bilbo off the mountain, he was already pregnant, carrying Thorin's child. His child. And he would have ended Bilbo's life, almost did. Not just Bilbo's life but the child's as well. He knew it was unquestionable that it was his. Bilbo was faithful and more true than he had imagined. Bilbo had deemed it worth the risk to his own life, to the life of his child to try to save Thorin from his madness, to try and save the company from an avertable war.

His heart twisted in sharp pain in his chest. What a miserable wretch he was! He could never again claim to be a good dwarf. He was not fit to rule his people. He could never hope to regain Bilbo's affection, could never hope to have a future together. All of his wistful daydreams would be washed away. He could never consider himself worthy of Bilbo's love when he would have taken that which was most precious. He had no honor. He should shave his beard and turn himself out into the wilds.

While Thorin was tangled in self-recrimination, Oin had stopped talking and all had turned to watch Thorin physically cringe inward. They saw him bury his face in hands and watched as tears began to seep out between his fingers.

Thorin was not even aware of the moisture on his face. He could only think of what he had surely lost forever. Bilbo! Kind, loving, giving, beautiful Bilbo! There weren't enough words to describe how wonderful Bilbo was. Now Bilbo was untouchable. He, Thorin, was not fit to approach him.

So lost was he that he hadn't realized all sound and sensation had faded. He didn't hear Fili worriedly calling, "Uncle!" as he turned Thorin's chair and shook his shoulders. He was unaware that he hadn't responded for several minutes. He was unaware of what was being said around him.

"Thorin, listen to me, whatever you're thinking, let's talk about it," said Balin trying to draw him out while Fili continued to try to shake him out of his fugue.

"What's wrong with him?" asked Kili worriedly.

"He's had a shock. Rattled him so he can't respond," Oin explained. "Need to pull him out of it fast before he gets beyond our reach or does something drastic." Oin looked around the room and noticed the water pitcher and food tray on a sideboard. He grabbed the pitcher and gently pushed Fili back.

"Stand aside, lad. If this works, he might strike out and you don't want to be standin' there if he does." When he had reached a safe distance, Oin dumped the water over Thorin's head. Water ran down his hair and his arms. They waited. There was no reaction, no movement from Thorin.

"This is bad," Oin said setting the pitcher down on the desk. "He either can't or won't respond. Either way, it's not good." They all heard the door open and turned to see Dwalin in the doorway, taking in the scene.

"What's going on?" he demanded.

"Thorin's had a shock and he's gone catatonic," explained Balin. Dwalin stood for a moment considering. Then he shut the door, strode across the room and raised his hand high. Oin reached out to stop him, but before he could, Dwalin had slapped Thorin's face. The loud crack of the impact suprised them. They watched as Dwalin grabbed Thorin's wrists and jerked them away from his face. He leaned in close, watching as awareness seeped into Thorin's hazy eyes.

Finally satisfied, he let go of Thorin's wrists and growled, "don't make me do that again." He stepped back, straightened up and crossed his arms. They all held their breath and watched as Thorin slowly moved, wiping water off his face and pushing his hair back.

"Whatever you're thinking laddie, it's not as bad as all that," Balin spoke gently.

"How can I ever face him again?" Thorin growled softly. "How can I ever face myself?" He looked up at Balin and his nephews and realized they didn't understand his despair. "I would have killed him, killed the babe."

"I'm missing something here," Dwalin noted, "and somebody needs to tell me right now."

"The dwarrowdam we went to see is actually our Mister Baggins. And by some halfling strangeness, he's carrying a babe," explained Balin.

"Pregnant. You're saying he's pregnant," said Dwalin turning to his brother.

"Aye. We've seen it," Balin nodded.  
  
"Mahal's hammer!" Dwalin exclaimed, his hands reaching up to pull at hair he no longer had on the top of his head. "The things we did to him!"

"Now you understand," said Thorin rising and turning to face away from them. They all stood in silence for several moments before Thorin felt a hand on his shoulder.

"You cannot tear yourself apart with this, Uncle. You didn't know. None of us knew," said Fili.

"We weren't in our right minds," added Kili. "He will not blame us. He will not blame you."

"What does it matter if he does not blame me? I blame myself," Thorin said slowly turning and lowering himself into his chair.

"Kili is right," Balin said. "We were all affected. He knew and tried to save us."

"That only makes it worse," cried Thorin.

"I was there," Balin continued. "I heard when you spoke to him after the battle. You asked for his forgiveness. He gave it freely and he meant it. Bilbo, though he hid some of his actions, he would not have lied about this. If he no longer blames you, you cannot blame yourself."

Fili knelt in front of Thorin, placing his hands on his uncle's knees, looking up into his distraught face. "That's right, Uncle. You didn't know. And if you had... if we had known, maybe it might have saved all of us from the madness. But he didn't tell us."

Thorin looked quizically at Fili. "Are you saying it is his fault for not telling me?"

Fili shook his head. "No. No, he is not to blame and neither are you."

Kili moved to stand beside Thorin, laying his hand on his shoulder. "He forgave you, Uncle. We are the ones who did not ask his forgiveness." Thorin's head snapped up. Kili's face was saddened, his eyes brimming with tears.

"Namadinùdoy," Thorin breathed, reaching up to lay his hand gently on Kili's face. "You are blameless."

Kili laid his hand over Thorin's. "We did not defend him, Uncle. We did not listen to him." Thorin looked down at Fili to see his head hanging in shame. Thorin laid his other hand on Fili's head.

"He will forgive us," Balin said. "I'm sure of it. He said he'd come when we asked. He comes to the mountain because he misses us and wants to be near us again. He didn't hesitate. He comes willingly."

Thorin pulled Fili up and quietly urged them to sit. As everyone settled back into their seats, Thorin asked somberly, "tell us what he said."

"He said hobbits need to be among their family at this time. That's he's been very lonely..."

"That he misses us?" Kili asked hopefully.

"Aye. He asked after you and your brother first thing. Wanted to know how everyone was faring. Said he'd been living among the men since the battle but he's been lonely. He said hobbits have to be around their family, especially at times like these. He called us his family, his close family." Balin paused. "He wants to come. And I suspect he'll be needing our help very soon. So there'll be no more carrying on like that," he said giving Thorin a serious look. Thorin nodded slowly.

"He does have some concerns so he's made a few requests."

"Anything. I'll give him anything, only let him come back to me... to us," Thorin corrected himself hurriedly.

"Tomorrow. He says he'll come tomorrow if we send Dwalin, and only Dwalin, to fetch him." Dwalin and Thorin both looked at Balin in surprise. "He said he didn't want you to send a large party to escort him, like he knew you would." Thorin nodded. "Said if you were going to send someone to guard him, to only send Dwalin. And you're only to take a cart so he can bring his things."

"I'll do it," Dwalin said looking at Thorin to reassure him. "He'll be safe with me."

"What else?" Thorin prompted.

"He said he must have his own room for privacy...."

"Of course. I would not force myself on him," Thorin said sadly. Bilbo must think the worst of him.

"No one doubts you, laddie. He just wanted to be clear," Balin said sympathetically. "He's asked for a place where he can put his feet to earth and be outside, as his hobbit nature requires it. Also he'd like access to the kitchens so he can prepare his dishes to his liking."

At this, Kili's eyes perked up. He turned to Fili and tapped on his knee frantically to get his attention.

"He wants to be sure that he's not confined, that he can go as he pleases and that he can entertain any visitors. I did ask him to allow an escort since he'll not know his way around and he agreed to it. He just doesn't want to be saddled with a group of them."

"He will not be a prisoner but a revered guest. More than a guest. This is his home as long as he wants it. I'll give him all he's asked for and more, anything he needs or wants. Is there anything else?"

"No. That's all of it," finished Balin. In the silence, Kili could be heard fervently whispering to Fili.

"He'll need to be somewhere close so that I can get to him if need be," Oin added. "He'll not be very mobile much longer."

"Yes, right. I'm sure we can find..." started Thorin.

"I know where we should put him!" Kili exclaimed. Everyone turned to look at him. "There's a set of rooms next to ours, right off of yours, Uncle. It's got everything he's asked for. There's a balcony that leads to the terrace on the mountain side. It has it's own kitchen and bathing room..."

"And it has two smaller rooms. One can be used as a nursery for the babe when it comes!" Fili added eagerly.

"The Queen's Suite," Balin said. The princes were not born in Erebor. They would not have known that the rooms they described where the ones given to the queen, or the consort if there was no queen.

"I had meant those rooms for you and Dis, so you could still be together as a family," Thorin said, his brow furrowed in conflict. It was an excellent suggestion. He did want Bilbo close. The rooms did meet all his conditions. But he was also sure Bilbo would not want to be near him. There was also Dis to consider.

"We're happy with the rooms we have now," Fili volunteered.

"And we've seen Amad's old rooms. They'll still intact. She'll still want them, I'm sure," said Kili. "Plus, she'd want Bilbo and the baby to be close so she can see them. I know she would. Please, Uncle?" Kili's eyes were wide and bright. Thorin knew he would not be able to resist, not when his own desire to have Bilbo close coincided with Kili's request.

"Yes," he said evenly. "Those are the only rooms that meet all of the requirements. Balin, make sure they are prepared. Have provisions brought up from the kitchens. Assign Dori to see that everything is as it should be to welcome Bilbo. Send word to the stables. See if they can find a carriage..."

"Just a moment," Balin interrupted. "He was very adamant that we only send a plain cart."

"But a cart won't be very comfortable. It's a fair drive up the mountain and in his condition..."

"I understand your concern. But he was very explicit. Only Dwalin. Only a cart."

Thorin huffed. "Fine. Only a cart. But make sure it has enough room for whatever he might bring and fill it with pillows so he can lie in comfort." Balin resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Best just to let it go. "When he arrives, Oin, I'd like for you to make sure the journey did no harm."

"Very good. I'll see to the preparations now," said Balin excusing himself.

Dwalin grabbed Fili and Kili by the arm and dragged them out. "Back to practice you two." The boys groaned. How could they practice when Bilbo was coming back? Dwalin shot Thorin a long look as he pushed the boys out of the door. Oin rose and bowing his head to Thorin, turned to leave.

Once alone, Thorin slumped back into his chair. He was emotionally drained. And wet. And still processing everything that had been revealed. Bilbo, his precious Bilbo, was safe and so close. He was coming back to them. He closed his eyes and he could see Bilbo in his mind's eye as he was on the quest, lithe and laughing. He realized when he saw Bilbo tomorrow, he would be different. He imagined Bilbo as he would be now with a gravid belly. The image brought new tears to his eyes, but tears of joy. It was too much. He'd never thought to have children of his own because his life was devoted to his people. He never thought to find love either.

For all his bumbling and mistakes, Mahal was blessing him. His people had their kingdom back and were slowly returning home. All of his company had survived against the odds. And Bilbo, if Bilbo would forgive him and allow him to have some small part of his child's life, he would not ask for more. He decided he would be contrite and strive to be worthy of so many blessings. He knew he would have to work through all of his tumultuous feelings but he would strive not to let it show.

He stood and made his way back to his rooms. He would not be able to concentrate any further today. He would change and perhaps join the boys in training. It would at least keep his mind occupied for a time. He knew he would not be able to rest until he saw Bilbo for himself.

Dwalin did not take it easy on the them just because something big was on the horizon. But Fili could see that it was distracting Kili. He was planning something. He could see it in Kili's eyes. He stuck by his side and after dinner, pulled him into an empty room.

"Out with it," Fili demanded.

"I'm not waiting. I'm going down tonight." Fili searched Kili's face. He knew exactly what he meant.

"Not tonight. They'll notice we're gone and might come after us. Early in the morning. A few hours before Dwalin. By the time they notice, it'll be too late." Kili nodded solemnly. Fili knew what was bothering Kili. He pulled him into a hug. "Don't fret, brother. He will forgive us. You'll see." Kili put his arms around Fili and nodded silently into his shoulder.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Namadinùdoy - sister-son (roughly, nephew)  
> amad - mother


	7. The boys get their chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys do what you would expect them to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit short but didn't want to make you wait while I wrestled with the rest of it.

Fili thought he would have to wake Kili who was never much of an early riser. But when he entered the common room of their shared suite, Kili was already strapping on his boots. Kili stood and without words, they made their way to the stables. It was before breakfast and not many were about.

They quickly saddled their ponies. The trick to not being noticed, they knew, was not to do anything out of the ordinary. So they kept they ponies moving at a slow walk until they were out of sight. If anyone saw them, they would think the princes were just out for a morning ride.

Reaching Dale was the easy part. Once there, they realized they had no way to find Bilbo. Balin had never specified where his house was. "There's only one dwarf that doesn't live in the mountain, right?" asked Fili. "We just have to ask around until someone knows where he lives."

"She," reminded Kili. They asked around the market and finally found a grocer willing to give them information.

"You've come to barter for her produce too, have you? Didn't know dwarves farmed at all but she grows the best vegetables.  She only sends her boys to market so if you want to deal with her directly, her house is down by the river." The man gave them directions and yelled "leave us some of the tomatoes, eh?" as they walked away.

After yesterday's turmoil, Bilbo had decided to skip breakfast for the extra sleep. Today was probably going to be another day of emotional agitation. Possibly emotional pandemonium. He rolled over. He'd deal with it later.

He rose in time for second breakfast. As he gathered his ingredients, he went through his mental checklist. What he wanted from inside the house was already packed. He actually didn't have very many belongings so it hadn't taken long. He had more work to do in the garden but he could get it done before Dwalin showed up. He set the kettle to boil over the fire when the door knocked. Must be Quinn, he told himself, opening the door.

"Bilbo!" For a moment, Bilbo didn't know what was happening. He'd opened the door and suddenly, he was wrapped up and squeezed by one, no, two warm bodies. After a couple of shocked moments, he turned his head to see blond hair on one side and dark brown on the other. He made a choked sound when he realized he was being held by Fili and Kili. He fisted his hands in their tunics and pulled them closer.

He hadn't seen them since he had left them in the healing tents, unconscious. He had heard they were recovered of course, but his last memory of them was of them lying unmoving in their cots, covered in bandages. They had been pale, like spectres of death. The memory had haunted him all this time. The warmth of their bodies suddenly meant so much more. It meant they were alive and well. The three stood locked in the embrace for couple of minutes. They didn't move until the tea kettle began to whistle. Bilbo tried to pull away but the boys tightened their grasp.

"You're going to squish your cousin out of me if you don't let me go," he said, his voice muffled by the tunics he was pressed against. He felt their arms slowly loosen. He took a step back to get a better look at them. There they were, standing tall and sound. It made his heart swell and his eyes brim with tears. He wiped them away and realized he wasn't the only one sniffling. He chuckled. He turned, retrieved the kettle and set it on the table.

When he turned back to the boys, he realized they were still standing in the doorway in shocked silence. They were staring at his belly with incredulous looks on their faces. He suddenly felt shy. He clasped his hands unsure of how they would react.

"It's true," Fili finally said.

"Cousin," said Kili taking a slow step towards Bilbo. He reached out towards Bilbo's belly then stopped. Bilbo closed his eyes. It felt like Ori all over again. Then Kili timidly asked, "May I?" Bilbo nodded and watched as Kili slowly moved to touch the curve of his stomach with his fingertips. He laughed, even if it half sounded like a sob, and took Kili's hand.

"He's not going to bite, at least not yet." He placed Kili's hand firmly against his belly. They stood there for a moment before they both jumped in surprise. Kili looked at Bilbo with wide eyes. Bilbo chuckled. "He must like you. He wouldn't move or kick for Oin."

Encouraged, Kili knelt and placed both hands on Bilbo's belly. Bilbo could feel the baby starting to stir at the added warmth. He looked up at Fili who still stood by the door. He had a yearning look on his face. "It's alright," he said, motioning him over. Fili quickly moved to lay his hand on Bilbo's other side. They were quiet for a moment before Bilbo felt movement, not as hard as a kick, but it was definitely the babe.

"Give him a minute. We just woke up," he said. Kili was already pressing his cheek against his belly. Bilbo smiled. Give Kili an inch, he'd take a league. He really didn't mind. He knew dwarves had very few children and each one was considered a treasure. They waited. They were all surprised when the babe pulled a one-two, kicking Fili's hand and what seemed like a punch to Kili's face. Biblo laughed heartily at their surprised expressions as they both jumped back.

"He decked me!" Kili cried, his fingers touching his cheek.

"Of course he did. You were invading his space. I'm sure he'll be as rough and tumble as the two of you!" Bilbo chuckled. "But come now, let me make the tea. There'll be plenty of time to be assaulted by your cousin later." He started to move, but Kili grabbed his wrist.

"Bilbo, wait." Bilbo stilled and looked down at Kili. Fili knelt beside Kili. "We came to tell you... to ask..." Kili gripped his hand tighter. Bilbo became worried. He didn't understand what they were doing.

"We came to ask you to forgive us," Fili said. "We didn't listen to you and we didn't protect you or defend you when Uncle..." Fili paused, swallowing loudly.

"We're sorry," Kili finished. Bilbo smiled softly. Naturally, the boys would apologize in tandem. He squeezed Kili's hand and patted Fili's shoulder.

"You boys, don't worry. I'm not angry with you. I know you couldn't have gone against your uncle. There wasn't anything you could have done."

"We could have tried," Kili said.

"It wouldn't have worked," Bilbo replied sadly. "He's wasn't in his right mind. You would have just been banished with me. And your uncle needed you. If you hadn't been by his side in battle..." Bilbo closed his eyes at the thought of Thorin broken and gone. "It was better this way." He opened his eyes to see them both watching him, beseechingly.

"You'll forgive us?" Fili asked.

Bilbo knew they needed to hear the words, that their young hearts needed the assurance. "Yes, I forgive you," he said, his hands on their faces. He didn't think he could ever not forgive them. He had never actually said the words, but he loved them as if they were his own nephews. They rose and embraced him again. He let them. His heart needed the assurance too.

"Now, now, the tea's getting cold," he said, finally pushing them towards the chairs. "You've come all this way. Did you even have breakfast?" He looked at their faces, not quite recovered from their emotions yet. "I didn't think so," he said. "You're just in time for second breakfast. I'll whip something right up." He let them sit and collect themselves while he puttered around, frying eggs and bacon.

After several minutes, Fili finally spoke. "Why did you never come back to us?" Bilbo could hear what he was really asking, 'why did you leave us?' He decided it was best to be plainly honest.

"I didn't think I was welcome. But I couldn't go far. I didn't want to."

"We wrote to you. We sent letters to the Shire. They were never answered."

"Oh, they're probably lying on my desk at Bag End. If everything went as planned, my cousin will be watching over my business. But he wouldn't have opened any of my personal correspondence." He laid all the plates on the table and sat down. "Now eat, and tell me what you're doing here. I'm pretty sure you know that I asked for only Dwalin to come down."

"We wanted to see you," Kili said swallowing his mouthful. "To ask your forgiveness. We didn't see you after... we didn't get a chance. Then we didn't know where you were and we didn't know if you were angry with us."

"Well now you know that I'm not," he smiled gently at them.

"And we wanted to see if it was true, about the baby," Kili continued. "And we wanted to ask you something." Kili looked across the table at Fili who nodded.

"What do you want to know?" Bilbo asked spreading jam on a biscuit.

"Did you come see us? In the healing tent?" Bilbo's knife stopped its movement. He laid it down carefully on the edge of his plate.

"I did," he said softly. "You were both unconscious. They weren't sure if you were going to wake up or not."

"We knew it was you," Fili said with confidence.

"What was?" Bilbo asked wondering what he had confirmed. He watched as Fili pulled a silver locket on a chain out from under his tunic. He took it off and handed it to Bilbo. It was rectangular, about the length of his thumb, and engraved with an intricate design. He realized it was a stylized scene of the mountain.

"This is beatiful, Fili," Bilbo said admiringly. "Is this new?" He didn't recall seeing it before. They had all seen pretty much everything of each other's over the course of the quest.

"Kili made them," Fili said as Kili handed Bilbo his. "He's better at detail than I am." Bilbo gasped. It was engraved with an accurate reproduction of his home.

"Bag End! Kili, these are wonderful!" Kili reached over and snapped opened his locket. Inside, stashed carefully, were four small, faded leaves. Bilbo stopped breathing. "Is this what I think it is?" he asked.

"Ori told us what he said to you. But the truth was that they didn't expect either of us to wake. Ever," Fili said. "They were waiting for us to pass on." Bilbo felt tears brim over and roll down his cheeks. He didn't want to hear that.

"I woke first, after a day," Kili said. "I found these in my hand."

"I woke up later," Fili added. "We found mine when they changed my dressings. When we were unconscious, we both had the same dream. In the dream, there was something in our hands."

Bilbo wiped his cheeks. He cleared his throat and asked, "what did you dream?"

"I heard your voice," Kili said. "When it faded, there was a woman standing over me. I don't know what she was. She wasn't a dwarf or a halfling. She was tall but not a man or an elf. She was very beautiful. She said I reminded her of her hobbits. She laughed and kissed my forehead. Then I felt a warmth in my hand. It spread up my arm, through my body. Then I woke up. The hand I felt the warmth in was the hand I found my leaves in."

"Oin says we healed much faster than we should have," said Fili. "We knew it had something to do with the dream and the leaves. We kept them but nobody knew who had given them to us. The elven healers said they were not healing herbs of any kind, just ordinary leaves."

Bilbo smiled, closing the locket. "Sometimes because of their beauty, the elves have a hard time seeing the extraordinary in the ordinary."

"It was you, wasn't it Bilbo?" Kili asked. "Who was the woman?"

"I suspect it was Yavanna."

"The wife of Mahal?"

"The Green Lady," Bilbo nodded. "She is the Vala that the hobbits revere."

"And what of the leaves?" asked Fili.

"I had used them in a prayer to her. When I went to see you, they were all I had. So I put them in your hands and asked her to heal you."

Kili held his locket in his closed fist. "And she did."

Bilbo nodded. "And it seems she did." They sat in silence for a few moments before Fili spoke.

"Thank you, Bilbo. You have saved us more times than we know."

"I don't think you can count that one. It really wasn't me." Fili grunted. He wasn't going to argue but it still counted. "Finish your breakfast now. There are things I still need to do and since you're here, you can help me." Neither protested. They owed Bilbo too much.

Bilbo put them to work harvesting what he could of his garden. They also potted some plants to take with him. He had already gathered some seeds. Maybe he could talk the dwarves into letting him have a small garden.

Quinn finally showed up and Bilbo gave him a set of instructions regarding the garden before sending him on his way. If he would keep it up, he could harvest from it. No sense in wasting a perfectly good garden.

While the boys had been knocking on Bilbo's door, Thorin had been walking to the stables with Dwalin. Dwalin could tell there was something weighing heavily on Thorin's mind, but he said nothing. Dwalin finally took pity on him.

"I'll bring him back to us. We'll make it up to him."


	8. To the mountain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo's journey back up to the mountain.

When Dwalin pulled up to the house in his two pony cart, he saw two other ponies hitched to a post. Two ponies he recognized. He cursed under his breath. Why was he not surprised? He jumped down and took in his surroundings. There was the garden Balin had described. He walked over to admire it. It was larger than he had imagined. He felt pride for their little burglar. For someone so small, he always accomplished more than they expected. He turned at the sound of footsteps and saw Fili and Kili round the house with crates in their hands.

"Ah, Mister Dwalin, you're just in time for elevensies," called Kili. "Bilbo's inside..." He didn't get anything else out before Dwalin swatted them both upside the head.

"If you've ruined this for yer uncle..."

"No! No, it's fine! Really, it's fine," Kili said ducking away from another blow.

"What're you two doin' here?" he demanded, scowling at them as they loaded the crates into the cart.

"We wanted to see Bilbo," Kili said.

"And get our chance before everybody else overruns him," Fili added. "We saw you driving up. Bilbo asked us to start loading the crates while he fixed elevensies. He said you're to come in for a bite before we leave."

Dwalin grunted. That sounded just like the halfling. He helped the boys load the garden crates before following them into the house. He paused just inside the door. It was very small, very bare compared to Bag End. It was good Bilbo was coming to the mountain. He deserved better than this.

Bilbo turned from the small pantry, which was really just a shelf. "Mister Dwalin!"

"At your service," Dwalin bowed.

Bilbo smiled nervously. "Come in, come in. The boys have been keeping me company this morning." He laid the plates on the table. "I'm afraid I've only got cold sandwiches. I've packed everything else away. Boys," he called. He motioned Dwalin to the table. The four sat in silence for some minutes. Kili and Fili were busy eating. Bilbo and Dwalin didn't know what to say.

"I've packed a basket for the trip up since we may miss lunch," Bilbo said nodding to the plate of sandwiches. "There are just a few more crates and then that's everything." He fell silent again. While he hadn't expected Dwalin to say much, he'd expected something. Not like Kili and Fili, but something. The stoic warrior was being very... stoic. He really hoped this wasn't how it was going to be with everyone.

Bilbo washed and put away the plates. He wouldn't need them where he was going. He looked around. Everything was ready. They were probably waiting on him. Now that his departure was imminent, he was getting nervous. But he said he would give it a try. He walked out, shutting the door behind him. This was the second home he'd left for Thorin Oakenshield. He had more misgivings now then he did the first time. He had more to risk.

He walked up to Dwalin who was waiting to help him up. "Why are there a million pillows in this cart?"

Dwalin cleared his throat and looked anywhere but at Bilbo. "They're there for yer comfort," he said.

"I'm not riding in the back amongst all those pillows like some princess on a palaquin. I am only pregnant, not invalided," Bilbo huffed. "I'll ride by you. Help me up." Dwalin moved to assist Bilbo who kept up his running commentary. "Imagine! What was he thinking? I bet he doesn't think I can walk on my own two feet either." Kili and Fili tried to hide their snickering as they mounted their ponies.

Bilbo settled himself and turned to make sure everything was loaded and secured. He noticed a large stash of weapons behind Dwalin's seat. "Did you visit an armorer while you were down here?"

"No, those are mine."

Bilbo raised an eyebrow. "What do you think's going to happen that we need six axes, three swords and is that a pike?"

Dwalin shrugged. "They're just in case."

Bilbo snorted. "You're just as bad as he is." He looked mournfully at his garden as Dwalin turned the cart around. He was going to miss it. He hoped Balin had taken his requests seriously and they placed him somewhere he could thrive.

As they drove out of Dale, Kili rode beside him and battered him with questions. He told them about working with the healers and his winter with the garrison. Dwalin scowled in disapproval, which Bilbo chose to ignore. Kili in turn told him about the restoration of Erebor, the returning dwarves, how he and Fili now had official duties and how astoundingly boring they were.

"Amad hasn't arrived yet, but she should be here in the next few weeks," Kili gushed. Bilbo remembered the boys telling him about their mother Dis during their journey. "She had to appoint a regent before she could leave. It's taken her some time to get things settled. Plus she's coming with the family caravan so they're a lot slower than a regular caravan. Balin can't wait for her to come because he says she's a lot better at organization and delegation than Uncle is."

"Don't let her hear you calling her a beauracrat," warned Dwalin. "You might wake up without yer eyebrows."

Kili's free hand flew up to his eyebrow. "She wouldn't!"

"With Dis, you get no warning."

"Is that the voice of experience?" Fili taunted.

"Yer mother carries out her own justice. You'd do well to remember that."

Bilbo grew quiet. That reminded him of the differences between hobbits and dwarves. He felt sure Dis was a good woman because of her sons. But the reminder that their views on justice were different sat ill with him. He remembered with misgiving how he had been treated after the battle, how every dwarf he had passed had given him dirty looks. But then, he hadn't just stolen a jewel but a cultural icon, the symbol of a kingdom.

Sure, Thorin had forgiven him but how would they treat him? Would they be cold or receptive? Kili and Fili were acting as if nothing had happened, now, but they were his boys. What about everyone else in the company? Dwalin still hadn't said much. What about other dwarves? How would he be received by the citizens of Erebor? Because he would have to live among them. And could he live among a people who treated him with mistrust and contempt? He'd done that in the Shire but this would be inifinitely worse.

And how was this going to affect his child's life? True, he would be the son of the king, but bastard born. Would Thorin acknowledge their child at all or was he to be some dirty secret kept hidden in a closet?

The more he thought about it, the more unsure he became. What had he been thinking agreeing to move to the mountain before he had any of these answers? He should have stayed in his little house. He should have made Thorin come to him. They could have talked and discussed and hammered things out until they had an understanding. This was too soon, too fast.

Kili hadn't noticed that Bilbo had stopped listening to him but Dwalin had. He could hear Bilbo's breathing becoming quick and shallow. He turned toward Bilbo just as Bilbo stood up.

"Stop! Stop the cart!" Dwalin grabbed his arm to steady him. "Turn it around. Take me back," Bilbo demanded.

"What're you..."  Dwalin pulled back on the reins. Bilbo was looking around, making as if to climb down the cart while it was still in motion. 

"Let me down. This was a bad idea. I... I... I shouldn't have come." Kili and Fili slid off their ponies and rushed to help Bilbo before he hurt himself. He wouldn't stay on the cart so they lifted him down. He walked down the length of the cart and looked at the way they had come. They were over halfway to the gates of Erebor. Down the hill, he could see Dale laid out. It was further than he thought they'd come.

Fili and Kili followed behind him with concern. "What's the matter, Bilbo?" "Is anything wrong?"

He turned back to them, his hands held up as if to ward them off. "This was a mistake. I shouldn't have come. I don't know enough. I'm not ready."

They took a step toward him. He stepped back and paced in agitation.

"Easy now," Dwalin said gently, coming up behind the boys. "Just take a deep breath. Yer just panicking is all." Dwalin held out his hands as if Bilbo was ready to bolt. "You just need to stay calm."

"No, I never should have agreed to this so soon, before I knew how safe it will be. I have to be sure. It's not just me anymore."

"Nothing's changed. Yer safe. No one's gonna hurt you."

Bilbo eyed Dwalin with skepticism. "And how would you know that? You didn't see the looks I got in camp. Most of you couldn't even look at me, you felt so betrayed. And I understand that. I do. But how do I know someone won't... I don't know... revenge my wrongs?"

"No one would dare..." Kili started, lurching forward before Dwalin grabbed his arm and pulled him back. He gave him a pat to silence him.

"No one's going to harm you or yer babe. I promise you that." Dwalin sank down to one knee. "I failed you once. I'll not fail you again. You have my vow. You'll be safe in the mountain."

Bilbo waited, looking directly into Dwalin's eyes, measuring his words. He decided Dwalin meant what he said. He would choose to trust that. He walked up to Dwalin, put his hand on Dawlin's shoulder and nodded his acceptance. Dwalin returned the gesture.

"Let's just take a break. Breathe for a minute. Fili, get Bilbo some water." Fili scrambled to obey. Bilbo realized how dry his mouth was. He accepted the offered waterskin and drank deeply. He could feel his heartbeat slowing. He felt better knowing he had another ally.

After a few moments he gathered himself. "I'm alright now. We can go on." He gave Fili and Kili a weak smile to try to assure them that he was fine. He didn't apologize for his panic attack. He felt he had legitimate concerns.

Dwalin helped him get settled back on the cart before he directed the ponies to walk on. After a few minutes of riding in silence, Dwalin quietly asked, "You want to talk about it?"

Bilbo considered. "Sometimes it all frightens me. I don't know what's going to happen. I ran out of my home once without properly thinking things through and where did that get me?" He sat in silence for some minutes before his stomach rumbled. He sighed. 'Might as well', he thought. 'It will make me feel better.'

He reached for his basket and laid it on the seat between them. He offered each of them a sandwich before settling down with his own. They all had ample practice with eating on the road. As he brushed crumbs off of his lap, he turned to Dwalin. "What will happen when we reach the gates?"

"We'll drive in as far as we can to the quarter where your rooms are. It's one of the older parts of the mountain. Good, solid stone there."

"Will I be far from all of you?"

"You'll be very near us," Fili said.

"Balin and I aren't far. The rest of the company is just beyond that," Dwalin explained. "Your things will be brought up to your rooms. I'm sure you'll be having visitors right away, but your rooms are your own. You don't have to grant anyone access if you don't want to."

"And what about where I can go? Do you have a market?"

"You have to let us take you!" Kili exclaimed. "We're getting more things to market all the time! And the men of Dale come up with their wares. We'll show you where all the good shops are."

"That's good. There's still many things I need before the baby is born. At least the preparation will give me something to do."

They chatted easily the rest of the way, Fili and Kili telling him more about their daily life and what amusements they had found so far, until they crested the last rise. Then suddenly, towering before them were the gates of Erebor.

Bilbo couldn't help but stare at them. They'd been repaired since he'd last seen them but not replaced. While not the same as their original magnificence, they were still astounding for their size. As they passed through them, Bilbo's heart thundered. He almost felt like telling Dwalin to turn back again. He inhaled, attempting to keep his breathing steady. 'I am a Baggins of Bag End,' he told himself. 'I faced a dragon. I can certainly face my friends.' He straightened. He didn't know what the future held, but he would certainly ride with dignity to meet it.

 


	9. The first step is always the hardest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo's back in the mountain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait. I got kind of stuck. So this chapter is probably filler but I thought better post it and get past it than keep you waiting.

They were stopped before they passed through the gates. Two guards hailed Dwalin and he spoke to them in Khuzdul. Bilbo could tell by his demeanor and cadence that it was a series of commands. He watched as one turned and sprinted off. Fili and Kili dismounted from their ponies, handing over the reins to the remaining guard. They jumped into the bed of the cart. Dwalin knickered at the ponies and they continued on.

"We're taking a delivery route to get you further in without having to walk as far," he explained. Bilbo didn't object. He wasn't as fit as he had been coming off the quest all those months ago. He was very content to look around from the seat of the cart.

It was all very grand. That's what he remembered from his time here before, when he'd been running through the halls of Erebor trying to avoid a flaming dragon. It was more evident now that it was cleared up and inhabited by its own people. He marveled at everything they passed. It wasn't just the grandeur, but the scale was quite intimidating. It made him feel small, a feeling that had been constant since he'd left the Shire.

This wasn't cozy like his hobbit hole. His hobbit hole had windows that streamed in sunlight which made it more welcoming. It wasn't dark here. There were torches and lanterns and a glow emanating from somewhere he couldn't see. Mirrors, he guessed. It wasn't warm either. It had been outside the mountain, but inside it was cool. His mind wanted to tell him it was dank but he knew it wasn't. It was different. It was going to take some adjusting to.

Dwalin stopped the cart at a crossroads, next to a small structure. "We'll walk from here. This is one of the guard stations we have throughout the mountain. Most are empty but as more dwarves return, more will be manned." He dismounted and reached up to assist Biblo. He shouted something and a dwarf emerged. Bilbo watched warily as the armed dwarf approached Dwalin, eyeing Biblo.

It's unavoidable, he told himself. He was an outsider and a curiosity. It was just something he was going to have to put up with until the novelty wore off.

He looked up at the quarter they were now in, staring in awe at the edifices carved into the interior face of the rock. They passed many of the structures before they stopped in front of one. It was faced with pillars and eaves that framed a large entryway. Above the entry was an intricate engraving of Durin's emblem. Bilbo, who liked to think of himself as a bit of an academician, remembered one of the dwarves speaking of it once and recognized the emblem by its seven stars.

Bilbo could put two and two together as well as anyone and instantly had his suspicions. "Where are we?" he asked.

"These are the royal residences," Dwalin answered.

"Please tell me you're showing me where you live," Bilbo said to Fili.

"No, we're showing you where you live," Fili smirked.

"I didn't want anything extravagant," Bilbo said with a long suffering sigh. He couldn't help but think this was going to be like the mithril shirt stashed away in his belongings. Thorin couldn't have given him just any kind of chain mail, no, it had to be mithril of all things. Then again, its weightlessness and tensile strength had served him well. He really hoped this turned out to be the case now.

"They're not gold plated, Bilbo. They're just ordinary rooms. They have everything you asked for. Plus all of the company will be close. Isn't that what you wanted? And since we want you close, you have to be here."

"Besides, we're the princes. This is our kingdom and we say this is where you're to live. So you have to do it," Kili tagged on.

They were right. His coming here was so that he could be near to his dwarven family. He was just going to have to make some allowances for how stubbornly set they were on having their own way. "Fine," he muttered. "I'll reserve my judgment. Let's see these rooms."

Kili jumped ahead of them. "This way! You'll like it, Bilbo. I promise!"

The passage was wide, its floor even and smooth. The walls and even the ceiling were all decorated in bas-relief, engraving, mosaics and murals. Some of them were stylized representations and others were startling in their realism.

"These are amazing! Are these artistic or historical?" Bilbo asked. Only the fact that he was a sure-footed hobbit kept him from tripping over his feet as he took in the walls as they walked on.

"Most are historical," Dwalin explained. "Some are myths and legends of our people. Ori would be able to tell you the stories behind them." Bilbo hummed his response. He'd have to wait and see how all of this worked out before he would be able to ask for that kind of a favor.

While they followed a straight path, Bilbo noted that there were many hallways and turns. "You say you all live in these halls?"

"My father was a royal cousin so my family's halls are here, close to theirs," Dwalin said waving at the princes. "After the battle, Thorin wanted the company close. It was prudent when we were planning and doing clean-up, resources being thin. The royal residence is extensive, reaching far into the moutain side. It easily houses all of us."

"But we wouldn't want to change that arrangement," Fili added. "We like it this way."

Finally, the passage terminated in a cross hallway. Kili opened the door directly in front of them. "This one is yours."

The entry room was large and obviously meant as a family room. It had a large dining table on one side. The other side was a sitting area arranged around a large fireplace. He gave an "oh!" of surprise when he saw Dori leaning over a sofa, fluffing pillows. Dori straighted and smiled.

"Mister Bilbo! It's good to see you." Dori walking up to Bilbo and pumped his hand in greeting. "I was very happy to hear you were coming back to join us."

It took Bilbo a moment to recover. "Please... just Bilbo. After everything we've been through, I don't think we have to stand on formality."

Dori held Bilbo's hand between his for a moment. "It hasn't been the same without you," he said gently. "I'm glad you're back." Bilbo placed his free hand over their joined hands and gave Dori's a squeeze and a little smile.

After a moment, Dori continued on. "We've stocked the place up with things we thought you might like, but if you need anything, do let me know."

"Dori's become our major domo. He takes care of all the fiddly stuff for us," Fili said.

"He's so good at it because he likes to fuss so much," added Kili.

Biblo turned, taking it in the room, from the tapestry covered walls to the rugs under his feet. "This... this is too big for me. I don't need all of this space. I'm just one little hobbit."

"But wasn't Bag End pretty big?" Fili asked.

"Yes, but that's different. That was my parents' home. Now it's just me."

"But you'll have visitors because we missed you. You'll need a place with lots of room," said Kili. "So it's perfect really." He disappeared through an archway on the dining side. "Over here is your kitchen," he called.

Bilbo followed and stood staring. He'd been so long in his little two room home in Dale, he could appreciate the room he was standing in. It easily outstripped his kitchen at Bag End. There were two ovens, large sinks, and beautifully formed taps. There was plenty of counter space, cabinets and open space to manuever around in, especially if he found he had dwarves underfoot. A small table set was tucked in the corner by a large cabinet. Opening it, he found it to be a cold box filled with food stuffs. Beside it was a door to a pantry.

Before he could say anything, Kili had him by the elbow. "Come and see. Down this hall are the bedrooms." The smaller hallway had four doors. "Those two," Kili pointed to the doors on the right, "are the extra bedrooms. They share a small bathing room between them. We thought you could use one as your nursery. We haven't furnished it yet though. This one over here is your bedroom."

Kili opened the door and led Bilbo in. On one side was a fireplace with two armchairs before it. A writing desk was tucked in a corner. On the other side was a large bed. Bilbo eyed it and was sure it would easily hold four of him. The tapestries covering the walls were in warm, muted colors. He looked over the other furniture and spied a door. "That's your bathing chamber," Kili said pushing him toward it.

Bilbo entered and was speechless. It was beautiful. The room had a natural look to it, the stone being minimally refaced but any rough edges had been smoothed out. It was like a private grotto, bathed in soft light from lamps and mirrors placed around the room. Off to the side was a closet privy but the real gem was in the center of the room. Sunk in the floor was a round bath. It was large enough to fit several people and was already filled with slowly swirling water.

"Uncle says it's fed by a hot water spring. See, it's always filling and drawing off water," Kili said his hand circling like the water current. "And there is a cold tap so you can adjust the temperature if you don't want it too hot."

"That seems rather wasteful, doesn't it?" Bilbo asked, thinking of his smaller copper tub back home. This was going to be more difficult to climb in and out of but the hot water would probably feel wonderful for his back.

"No, it's just redirected from the River Running. It would all wash downstream if we didn't make use of it, so no need to worry."

Bilbo turned to see both Fili and Kili watching him, waiting anxiously for his response. He gave them a smile. "It's lovely boys, even if I think it's all too much."

"Then you'll accept it? These rooms?" Kili asked.

Bilbo could hear his father's voice in his head telling him he should just accept with grace. "Yes, I will. I really don't think you'll let me do otherwise. Thank you for thinking of my comfort."

"We want you to be happy here, Bilbo," Fili said suddenly serious. "We want you to stay."

"Wait, wait!" Kili cried before he could respond. "There's one more thing you have to see!"

"Yes, you missed it earlier," Fili said as each boy took one of his arms, leading him back out into the main room. Against the back wall, there was a tapestry hung on a rod with rings. Fili swished it aside revealing large double doors of heavy glass. There was a securing bar across them. Bilbo watched was Fili slid it aside on a built-in mechanism, unbarring the door. Turning to give Bilbo a cheeky smile, he dramatically threw the doors open.  
  
If Bilbo had been speechless before, he was truly dumbfounded now. He could see that the doors lead to somewhere outside of the moutain. He could see daylight and green grass. He could smell fresh air. He felt someone gently pushing him from behind until he was walking out between the doors. There was an area set with paving stones just outside the doors. It was enclosed by stone railings. Beyond that was a grassy terrace. It was fairly extensive, considerably larger than the garden he had just left behind. He looked around taking in the native vegetation that was surely wild and had probably only regrown this past season.

"What is this?" he finally spluttered.

"Your terrace," Fili said. "Didn't you say you needed somewhere to put your feet to earth?" Bilbo looked across the terrace. In the distance he could see a railing.

"This is the moutain side," Bilbo said dumbly.

"Inaccessible because of the precipice and beneath the tree line so you can actually grow things," said Dwalin coming up behind him. "There's a crag further out that actually hides it from view. Safe enough for the royal family. It was blocked by rubble but we cleared it."

"We didn't get to do anything since we only just found you yesterday," Kili said. "You can do whatever you want with it, turn it into a garden maybe like the one you had at your little house. We don't know anything about gardening, but whatever you want, we'll get it for you."

"This is amazing. I don't think I can... "

"No no no! You already accepted! So you can't take it back now," Kili exclaimed, cutting off Bilbo.

He smiled. "I meant to say that I don't think I can turn it into much of a garden before I'm unable to work in it anymore."

"Oh, well, then we'll just hire someone to help you. You can just sit there and tell them what to do."

"Aye, that's a fine idea. No one'll want to see you working with the babe weighing on you like he is." Bilbo chuckled at Dwalin's words. He was sure his dwarves were going to give new meaning to the words being fussed over.

But that's what he'd come for. His family would have done it, fussed over him and helped him in the last months of his pregnancy. Thinking of how it should have been, with his parents' aide, made him think of what it would actually have been like had he returned to the Shire.

He thought sadly, with both of his parents already gone, he would have had cousins coming and going at Bag End. There would have been pitying looks and whispers of 'if only they were here', not to mention all of the disapproving ones for returning home from an adventure that he never should have gone on, expecting and unmarried, and of all things, carrying a half-dwarf child. There was only so much of that he could have staved off from day to day.

He had thought that he might be able to get by on his own down in Dale, more frightened of discovery than of his solitude, but hobbits were social creatures and when he was discovered, he had jumped at the chance to be among the ones he loved before he had even realized what he was doing. He absently rubbed circles on his belly. It was alright though. He would be happy to have his dwarves around when his time came. They seemed to want him here. No matter what had happened before, he knew that hadn't been them, not really. That had been the gold madness. Now that it appeared to have gone, they were his dwarves again. In his heart, they had always been his dwarves. That had never changed.

A hand on his shoulder broke him from his reverie. "Bilbo, you alright? Perhaps you should sit down and have a cuppa tea," Dori said looking at him worriedly.

"Yes, that's a good idea. It's been an exciting morning," he said smiling softly. He let Dori usher him back inside. He turned to see Fili pulling the glass doors closed behind them. "Please... can we leave them open?" Bilbo thought it was lovely the way the sunlight streamed in. They actually were very nice rooms. He was very lucky.

"I'll leave you, then," Dwalin announced. "I've my report to make. Yer belongings should be along shortly. Dori and the lads'll get you settled."

Bilbo looked up at Dwalin thinking of the promise made to him. Dwalin didn't know how important that was to him. He would explain it later. "Thank you... for everything." He knew with Dwalin, less was more, so he left it at that for now.

Dwalin bowed. "At your service," he said before leaving.

Having been reminded of his promise as he'd left, Dwalin would take the responsibility very seriously. He walked to the dodgy side of the market place, into a tavern. There, in the back corner, he slid onto a bench.

"So he's here then?" asked Nori.

"As if you didn't already know." Nori didn't bother replying. "I don't think anything'll happen. But just in case, keep yer ear the ground, yeah?"

"Already on it," Nori said taking a pull from his ale.

Dwalin harrumphed and got up. He made his way to the King's Chamber, letting himself in. His runner would've already informed them of Bilbo's arrival. He lingered in the back while Balin and Thorin were in discussion with Guild representatives. He caught Thorin's eye and nodded. He waited, half listening, until the guildsmen shuffled past him. Then he strode across the chamber and sat himself in front of Thorin's desk.

"Well?" Thorin demanded.

"He's in his rooms now. Put up less of a fight about them than I thought he would. Seems mighty accepting, agreeing to come after all those months living in Dale." Dwalin was wondering how deep Bilbo's fears really ran and what else he might worry himself over.

"The trip up went well?" Balin asked.

"Had a little bit of a panic attack, like you said. Wanted to turn back, but he's fine now."

"What frightened him?" Thorin asked, eyebrows scrunching in concern.

"He's just skittish, is all. You know how he is. Thinks someone might take issue with him being here."

"Hmmm, he might not be as unreasonable as you think he's being. Dain's soldiers heard things from Bard's men and the elves. They don't know the full story, but they have enough of it that there are rumors going around."

"Rumors, huh? Nori didn't say anything."

"I'm not worried about it yet. But have him keep an eye out."

"That's done already."

"And you brought his things?"

"Aye. The lad didn't have much."

"No, he wouldn't. He walked away with nothing but the clothes on his back. Balin, have someone take him the market so he can get anything he needs."

"Fili and Kili are already set to take him."

"They've have seen him already?" Thorin asked, eyebrows raised.

"They rode out this morning and were already at Bilbo's little house when I arrived. They're sitting with him now." Thorin frowned in disapproval. "Before you say anything, there's no harm done. You know how he likes the lads. It's like Balin said, he wants to be here."

Balin and Dwalin soon left him alone. He'd had so many months of thinking what he might say to Bilbo if he had the chance, of mapping out possible turns in conversations in his head. Now he had the chance but he felt like words would not come. None of them seemed adequate. How do you apologize to a lover that you rejected? How do you beg forgiveness for violence you visited on them? How can you ever be granted clemency for trying to kill your beloved and your child?

He had thought that the guilt he had carried all these months was a heavy weight but it was nothing compared to what burdened him now. He rested his elbows on the desk and leaned his face into his hands. What a difference a day could make. Had they just found Bilbo, his heart would have rejoiced. Then Bilbo had presented them with a wonderful impossibility. His heart wanted to sing. But how could he ask Bilbo for forgiveness? Because he knew he would. If there was any chance at all that Bilbo would allow him near, would allow him to try to make amends, he would take it. Selfishly, he would take it because he missed Bilbo, so much. It was a constant ache, a hollowness in his chest. He'd betrayed his love in his madness, but when the madness had faded, his love was still there. At night, like the sense memory of a lost limb, he could still feel Biblo in his arms. He could still smell the sunlight in Bilbo's hair.

As a king, he wasn't afraid to speak for his people. He wasn't afraid to fight for them. But for himself, he hesitated. Questions plagued him. After everything he'd lost and yet regained, was this asking too much? Could he have this? And did he deserve it?

No, he decided. He didn't deserve it. But if he couldn't have it, if he couldn't have some small part of Bilbo in his life, even if it was just Bilbo living under his mountain, he didn't know how he could face that dull emptiness day after day. Whatever it takes, he told himself. I'll do whatever it takes to make it right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Personal note: with the dwarves' with accents, I struggle with how many yer's and ye's to pepper in. I hear Dwalin saying more of a straight up u sound for you instead of so so I just type it and let it go. I figure you hear his accent in your head anyway.


	10. Settling In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo's afternoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! I'm amazed, _amazed_ I say, at the number of hits this has accumulated. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! And thank you for all of your lovely comments!
> 
> I swear to you... Thorin is coming. It's just been a busy day for Bilbo.

Bilbo had just finished his tea when his belongings were brought up. He set the boys to uncrating his potted plants on the terrace and Dori to putting away the provisions he'd brought with him. He went to his bedroom to unpack the few personal possessions he had. It didn't take him long. When he was done, he sat on the bed and looked around the room.

Putting his belongings away gave him a sense of permanence that he yearned for but wasn't sure he was ready for yet. It felt like by coming that he had agreed to stay indefinitely even though nothing was said to that effect. But he knew that if he was going to do this, he was going to commit himself to it. He didn't want to deprive Thorin of his child. He also wanted his child to grow up partaking in dwarven culture and to know his family. Isolating himself had not been his intent. It had been the product of his insecurity and fears which still plagued him and made him question himself.

He knew this is what he wanted and what he needed, just everything about it still made him nervous. He had already seen half of the company and they had all been welcoming. There was still the other half to see. He went through their faces in his mind. Nori, who he was never quite sure of. Stoic Gloin and Bifur. Gentle Bombur. Congenial Bofur, his friend who he'd missed very much. Ori. Sweet, young Ori. His rejection, that had been in his mind representational of the rejection by them all, still stung. And the one he really dreaded facing, Thorin.

He wasn't afraid of Thorin himself. Even when Thorin had lost his mind, he had faced him. He didn't expect Thorin to want him back as a lover or friend, not after his perfidy. He only expected that Thorin would want to be near his child. His fear, in it's simplest form, was rejection, again. Rationally he knew he'd been invited back. The dwarves had made the first move. That meant they wanted him here. They even kept saying it. His mind just kept circling with uncertainty.

He shook his head. He was going round and round with these thoughts. If he kept it up, he'd just talk himself into trying to jump off the wagon again. He was here now. He'd navigate as best he could. He walked back to the family room. Looking up, he saw Oin walking toward him.

"Turn right back around, lad. We want to be sure the ride up did no harm."

"That's not really necessary. I'm perfectly fine," he protested as Oin turned him around, gently pushing him back to the bedroom.

"We both know Thorin won't be satisfied til you've been checked out and neither will I, so let's just get it over with." He lay down and let Oin begin his prodding. "Anything unusual today?"

"No, just a mild panic attack but that's not unusual anymore."

"And yesterday?"

Bilbo deliberated for a moment but he had said he would let Oin take over his care. It was probably best to tell him everything. "I fainted yesterday... after you'd left, but Armin saw to me. I'm fine," he insisted. Oin harrumphed and Bilbo felt like he needed to explain more. "I was just, maybe, overwhelmed but it'll get better now, now that I'm here. At least, it should. It's a hobbit thing, you see, familial proximity and touch."

"It helps?" Oin asked.

"Yes. It does something for us. It calms us, reassures us, helps us stay healthy. It's why we generally stay close to home. We don't even realize we're doing it. It's just... casual touch and a feeling of security. It's not even a big thing really, it's just what we do. We need it."

The was a moment of silence while Oin considered Bilbo's words. "And if you don't get it?" It was Bilbo's turn for silence. "It's been a detriment, hasn't it laddie?"

"We're alright," Bilbo said, smoothing over the curve of his belly. "We're not ill. It's just... it could be better."

"Better?" Oin worked his way through his thoughts, sighing heavily. "You think that's why he's a wee bairn?"

"I think... I think it's because I was alone," Bilbo said quietly.

"You said you were wee babe."

"That was different. My mother, she had a hard time conceiving. She had me early and never managed to carry again. But this..."

"This is because we sent you away."

Bilbo looked at the wall. "Well... you didn't... not really..."

"But we didn't ask you to stay. We didn't bring you back when you left," Oin said bluntly. Bilbo didn't say anything. He had been the one to walk away, but he hadn't felt welcome or wanted. It had felt like he'd been sent away.

"You didn't tell Armin any of this, did you?"

Bilbo shook his head. "He would have brought me up here himself, back to those he thought were my people."

"Then tell me what you need. Touch, you say?"

Bilbo blushed with embarrassment. He didn't want to seem like he was begging for physical affection, even if it was what he needed. "I'm fine really. Just being near you all will help."

Oin nodded his head thoughtfully. He didn't think physical proximity would be a problem. Everyone was eager to see Bilbo again. He would be sure to tell all the lads about the touch though. If it would keep their hobbits healthy, then it would be healer's orders. Maybe a couple of them would find it a little uncomfortable at first, but a bit of discomfort was a small price to pay for the treasure of a heathly babe and mother, or whatever Bilbo was. This was something they'd all be willing to pay. He finished his examination. As Bilbo sat up, Oin put a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, lad. We didn't know. Once you get settled, you and I will talk some more."

Bilbo looked up at Oin. "I stayed away because I was afraid. But you're helping me after what I did to all of you." Oin squeezed his shoulder.

"You're not to worry. We'll make it right." Bilbo watched as Oin walked away. His heart felt warm and his eyes were moist. This was what he'd been missing, someone to make him feel like everything was going to be alright, like he wasn't alone anymore.

He hopped off the bed. When he stepped back into the family room, Oin had the others clustered around him and was saying something to them. Surely, he wasn't telling them they needed to be all lovey with him. He almost wished he hadn't told Oin about it.

As he approached, Fili called him. "Bilbo, we were thinking that everyone will want to see you right away, but we don't want to overwhelm you on your first day."

"We thought about having a dinner for you here, but only if you're up for it," Kili said.

"I'd like to see everyone and making it a merry party, I think, is a fine idea," Bilbo replied smiling.

"I'll get with Bombur and coordinate dinner," Dori said.

"I'll let everyone know," Kili volunteered.

"Best you get some rest before then," Oin told Bilbo.

"I'd like to do some baking first, some treats for tonight."

"Pies? And biscuits?" Kili asked, his face eager. Bilbo laughed heartily.

"Yes, I'll make you pies and biscuits if you promise to bring your fiddles, both of you, tonight. It's been so long since I've had music," he added wistfully.

Kili grabbed Bilbo's arm. "You'll have your music! And we'll bring up some ale! We'll make it very merry!" Kili dashed out. Fili watched him, unsure if he should stay to help in some way or chase after Kili.

Bilbo saw the conflict on his face. "Go on then. If you don't keep him in check, nothing will," he said giving him a light push toward the door. Fili smiled and giving Bilbo's shoulder a squeeze, followed after Kili.

"I'm sure you have more important things to do than to babysit me," Bilbo told Oin and Dori. "I'll be fine here on my own." They both clapped him on the back as they exited.

After they'd gone, he went to the kitchen and began picking out ingredients and pans. He found himself humming. It felt nice to do something like this again, just to bring pleasure to his friends. He was actually looking forward to seeing everyone. He paused in his stirring. He realized he was happy. It had been so long since he'd felt that way. He'd been mostly content with his quiet life in Dale, but something had still been missing. This was another bit of it, he thought, the feeling of knowing he was wanted.

Kili ran straight to the library. Ori would appreciate his excitement. He ran through the stacks yelling Ori's name. The few other scribes he came across shushed him as he flew past. When he spotted Ori, lifting a large tome off of a high shelf, he gripped the ladder and yelled up at Ori.

"Ori, he's here! There's going to be a party! He's baking, Ori! Baking!"

Ori carefully stepped down the ladder before turning to Kili. "What are you going on about?"

"Bilbo, of course! Didn't you know he was coming today?"

"Yes, Dori told me." Between Dori and Nori, Ori was well informed. "I think it's wonderful that Mister Bilbo will be here," he said, too sedately for Kili's taste.

"He's here already. There's to be a dinner tonight. And he said we could make it a party! Everyone's invited. Isn't it grand?"

Ori thought about the last time he'd seen Bilbo and his face flushed. He remembered with shame how he had pulled back from touching Bilbo. He hadn't wanted to snub his friend, but he'd been unsure of how he was supposed to treat Bilbo after everything that had happened. He had thought it better to err on the side of caution, but he remembered clearly how crushed Bilbo had been at the slight. Bilbo had never been anything but kind to him and what had he done but hurt him.

Kili hadn't noticed Ori's attention lapse. "... and I really hope he makes some of those cinnamony ones. But I have ta go. I still have to tell everyone else. See you there!" Kili finished and bounded off.

Ori placed the tome on his work table. He rushed through his work, leaving early. He went to his room to get a package before going to Bilbo's rooms. He stood nervously in front of the door, clutching the large package to his chest and knocked.

He strained listening for footsteps but the door was too heavy. He couldn't hear anything. He was suprised when it opened. Bilbo was just as surpised to see Ori. They stood there for a few moments, eyes wide, staring at each other, both unsure. Finally, Bilbo spoke.

"Come in, come in. I wasn't expecting anyone so soon." He backed up to allow Ori entrance.

"I have..." Ori shakily held out his package and cleared his throat. "I have something for you."

"Oh, well. That's thoughtful of you. Come sit down." He led Ori over to the sitting area. They sat on the same couch. Ori extended the package again. Biblo set it between them and untied the string holding the burlap wrap closed. When he opened it, he found a crocheted blanket of deep blue. Bilbo ran his hands over it. The wool was soft and thick. He unfurled it over his legs. It was large enough for him to use in bed. He could already feel its warmth.

"Ori, this is lovely. Did you make this?" Bilbo asked still stoking the wool.

Ori keep his eyes on the blanket. "You taught me that bit of crocheting when we were traveling. You said I could use the same chain pattern with a larger hook to make blankets. Dwalin made me one. I made blankets for everyone... for winter. I made this one for you but you were... you weren't here."

They sat in silence for a few moments before Bilbo spoke. "Thank you. I know I'll have use for it."

"I wanted to tell you..." Ori paused, his eyes focused on his wringing hands. "The last time I saw you... in the healer's tent... I didn't mean to..." Bilbo knew Ori was struggling to apogogize but he couldn't look him. He didn't want to give away how much it had hurt him. It would only make Ori feel worse and there was already enough of that going around.

Ori took a breath and pushed on. "It's just that... I didn't know what to do. Everything was mixed up and no one knew what was going on. I didn't know if we were allowed to talk to you again or if you were still banished." Bilbo flinched at the reminder.

"I wanted to... but I'm not... I'm not like you. I'm not brave. I wasn't brave enough to... to treat you like my friend no matter what anyone else thought and... and I'm sorry." Ori slowly reached out and clasped Bilbo's hand over the blanket.

Bilbo felt the warmth of Ori's hand. He knew what feeling like he wasn't brave enough was like. He'd spent most of the quest feeling that way. Things had been so unsure in the aftermath of the battle. He wondered, if he had been in Ori's place would he have acted any differently? He had defied Thorin, but technically, that had been behind his back so he wasn't sure if that counted as bravery.

He gripped the fingers wrapped around his own. "I understand, Ori. I do. I feel like that more than you realize. It's one of the reasons that I didn't return to the Shire. I couldn't have lived with the expectations or what others would think of me. Even now, I'm unsure what's going to happen to me here."

"We don't expect anything from you Mister Bilbo. We just want you to be safe and happy. You're our friend. Isn't that what you want for friends?"

Bilbo smiled and looked up at Ori. "Yes, that is what you want for your friends. So don't fret over the past. We're here now," he said shaking their joined hands for emphasis. "And you can stop calling me Mister. Titles aren't necessary among friends." Ori smiled back.

"Now, you said Dwalin made you a new crochet hook?" Ori blushed. Bilbo noted it but continued on. They sat and chatted with renewed ease until Bilbo got up to take something out of the oven. Ori followed him to the kitchen. He sat and described his work with enthusiasm, Bilbo asking him questions as he puttered around the kitchen. 


	11. A Dinner Party

When all of the pies had been laid out to cool, Bilbo walked Ori to the terrace. They were discussing use of the space when there was a knock on the door. When answered, Dori swept in followed by servants bearing all of manner of things: dishes, additional chairs, casks of wine, candelabra. There was a flurry of activity as they began arranging the dining area. Dori shooed Bilbo and Ori to the sitting area.

They turned to the door when they heard voices in the hall. In came Kili and Fili carrying a barrel between them, followed by Bombur and Bifur with another. They took them to the kitchen and then emerged to greet Bilbo. With Bifur and Bombur, that consisted of smiles and firm shoulder and arm clasps.

Bombur, as he related, had decided he no longer wanted to work the mines now that he had choices. Since he had been their provisions manager on the road, he took that position during the winter. He explained that until they were a fully functioning community again, resources were shared and a communal kitchen system had been implemented, which he was now in charge of. When the transition to cooking in individual homes would be made in the not too distant future, he explained that he would stay on to run the royal kitchens, which included the overseeing of the guard barrack kitchens.

Bifur had a rolling system of duties. He was sometimes a guardsman, sometimes a miner and sometimes pursued his own interests. He was quite satisfied to do whatever was needed of him.

When Bilbo asked about Bofur, Bombur proudly explained that Bofur was a mine foreman. He was currently off exploring and remapping one of the deeper mines. Some had cave-ins or had sustained other damage from Smaug's occupation. It took time to make an assessment so those missions usually took a few days, depending on what they found.

Bilbo was a bit disappointed that Bofur would not be at dinner, but as he was wasn't going anywhere, he knew he'd eventually get to see him.

There was a momentary lull in the conversation when Bifur spoke and clearly was waiting for an answer. Bilbo looked to Bombur to translate.

"He uh... he asks when you expect the birth," Bombur said, cheeks flushing a little red.

Bilbo had expected a little awkwardness about the pregnancy. "We're not sure. If it was a typical hobbit pregnancy, I would've had him already. But I've been told your dams carry longer. It could happen anytime between tomorrow or the next two months." He paused. "Please... I know this is a little strange for you and to be honest, it's not common for hobbits either, but you don't have worry about asking me anything about this."

Everyone was quiet for a few moments. Then Kili suddenly burst out, "so how not common is this for hobbits?" Fili slapped Kili upside the head. Bilbo laughed. Kili would be the outspoken voice of curiosity.

"It's not common at all. I don't think there's been a male pregnancy in living memory."

"So how come you?" Kili asked. Fili shot Kili a warning look, but Bilbo knew Kili didn't mean anything by his questions.

"I can't say. I'm the first hobbit to travel so far probably since we settled the Shire. I was already out of the ordinary. If it was going to be anybody, I don't see why not me." He chuckled softly. "It takes awhile to get used to, I know."

~  
While Bilbo was supposed to be resting, Oin had gone to update Thorin as he had specifically asked for Bilbo to be examined upon arrival. He related everything Bilbo had told him. Thorin was listening very carefully. He especially heard the words touch, closeness, and the phrase 'feeling of security'.

"And it's your concern that because he's been lacking these things, the babe is smaller than he should be?" Thorin summarized.

"Aye. He'd not in bad condition but if I'm to be believin' his word, then he should improve."

Thorin breathed in relief. He would hate to think they had done the babe harm by neglecting Bilbo. "Then, we'll do what we can. We'll make sure someone is with him whenever possible. Let me know what else you would recommend."

When Oin left him, he set the documents he had been reading aside. There were things he needed to say to Bilbo that couldn't wait. He strode out of his chamber to the treasury. The treasury official on duty greeted him. He explained what he needed and waited while the official found them. He examined the two items when they were brought to him. The gold was clean and polished to a high shine. He thanked the dwarf and went on to the royal halls.

He thought he might be able to speak to Bilbo privately before the company began to show for dinner if he hurried. He passed a few servants in the halls, but didn't think anything of it. Dori kept the servants well occupied. He came to Bilbo's door and raised his hand to knock when the door jerked open. The servant girl on the other side curtsied and fled down the hall. Thorin was unsure whether to announce himself when he heard laughter. Stepping into the room, he saw half of the company seated around Bilbo.

When his eyes came to rest on Bilbo, he stopped breathing. When Thorin had first met Bilbo, he couldn't see past his annoyance at Gandalf for saddling him with a useless grocer to actually see Bilbo, neither for his character or his physical attributes. But as time passed and he became familiar with Bilbo's nature, he began to see Bilbo in a different light. Bilbo's soft exterior belied his hidden strengths.

He came to cherish everything about Bilbo, from his humor, intelligence and courage to his hobbit attributes. He adored Bilbo's curls and the way they felt in his hands. He was fascinated by the smoothness of his skin. He found he even enjoyed Bilbo's stature because he could enfold him so perfectly in his arms.

Bilbo, as he appeared now before him, was a vision. His hair was long, to his shoulders, curling and golden with a few braids. His eyes were sparkling and full of mirth. He skin seemed flush with health. Thorin's eyes followed the swell of Bilbo's stomach and his heart stopped beating. It was everything he had imagined and more. It was wonderful and glorious and amazing and it was real. He had not doubted but seeing it was indescribable. He thought he could stand here, taking in Bilbo's beauty forever.

It took him a few moments to realize Bilbo was standing in front of him, touching his arm and speaking to him with concern.

"...alright?" he heard Bilbo say as he focused on him. It took him a moment to comprehend the words. He saw Fili half stand, unsure if he needed assistance. He felt a tug on his sleeve and realized Bilbo was trying to get him to sit down. He tried to step toward the arm chair closest to him but his body wouldn't obey and he started to trip. He panicked, thinking he would take down Bilbo, but before he could, Fili pulled him and he fell into the chair. The impact jarred him and he breathed in. Its suddeness was almost painful and he became aware that he hadn't been breathing at all.

Fili was worried that Thorin was having another episode. He squatted by the chair. Thorin, now breathing, put his hand on his shoulder and shook his head to indicate he didn't need any more help.

He turned to find Bilbo and heard him asking Dori to bring a glass of wine. He watched as Bilbo nervously retreated to sit between Ori and Kili. His heart ached to see Bilbo backing away from him. Before he could gather his thoughts, Dori was handing him a glass. He thanked him and took a drink. It moistened his mouth and he felt able to speak again.

"Forgive me. I am... much relieved to see you safe and hale." He couldn't make out Bilbo's state of mind from his facial expression so he continued. "We had despaired of finding you. You disappeared completely. We could find no trace of you and Gandalf would not say if he knew your whereabouts."

"I asked him not to mention it," Bilbo said solemnly. "I was... unsure of my welcome. I thought it best to remain anonymous."

"I... we feared the worst"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause you worry," Bilbo said.

Thorin raised his hand to stop Bilbo. "You need not apologize. I am at fault. I spoke with you but my mind was not clear enough to make sure you were looked after. It was some time before I was free of the lingering effects of my injuries... and the sickness." The last words were said with obvious distaste. Thorin considered the gold madness his greatest weakness and he was still angry at what it had cost him.

Bilbo's hands clutched his tunic at the harsh tone in Thorin's voice. Kili noticed the movement and gently laid his hand over Bilbo's. Before he could give Bilbo more than a small, encouraging smile, there was a knock at the door.

Bilbo stood to greet Oin and Gloin. Gloin gave him a hearty handshake and greeting that reminded Bilbo of his uncles. Before they were through, Balin and Dwalin were entering and greeting everyone.

Thorin sat back quietly. He had thought he was arriving early only to find Bilbo surrounded by company already. He hadn't expected an audience for his first time seeing Bilbo. Bilbo had actually touched him and all he'd been able to do is stutter out a few words. It was not as he had envisioned. He didn't even have Bilbo's attention. Everyone else was engaging him in conversation. Perhaps this evening was too soon to expect to have Bilbo alone so he could speak freely. He resigned himself to waiting awhile longer.

Dori emerged from the kitchen counting heads. When he announced they could begin, Bilbo turned to find Nori watching him from behind Ori. He hadn't even noticed Nori come in. Nori acknowledged him with a simple bow.

Dori sat Bilbo at the head of the table as he was the guest of honor and it was his quarters. Thorin, as the highest ranking person after Bilbo, was sat at the other end. He wasn't very happy with the arrangement. He felt too far removed from Bilbo. Shouldn't it have been his privilege to sit beside Bilbo?

Dinner started out quietly enough with the only the clatter of plates and the occasional request to pass a dish but it quickly became a dull roar. Bilbo spent the time asking questions about the company and their current occupations. He wanted to wait to answer questions about himself until he had everyone's attention and would thus only need to tell his story and answer questions once. Bilbo did make approving note that while some food did fly about the table, very little was actually wasted, the sparse provisions during winter having made an impact on the dwarves' behavior.

Thorin tried to follow the thread of Bilbo's conversation at first but he was too far away and couldn't hear much. He fell into conversation instead with Balin, Dwalin and Fili who sat near him but kept an eye on Bilbo. His heart warmed to see Bilbo smiling and laughing again. It eased some of the tension that had knotted in him since he came to his senses and found Bilbo gone.

It was only when the empty dinner platters were removed from the table that Bilbo realized that Dori's team of servants had been quietly removing empty plates and refilling their beverages all along. He complimented Dori on their seamless working. Dori preened, explaining that many of them had had no previous experience. They were mostly dwarves from the first wave of arrivals.

"They've trained up right nicely. I expect we'll take on a few more once the next caravan arrives."

"Oh yes," said Bilbo. "The boys were telling me that you're expecting quite a large number of families."

"Many of the Ereborian families are returning from Ered Luin although it'll be some time before all who wish can return. They've also picked up some from scattered settlements along the way. Granted, some did choose to stay behind, but many of the precious metal and gem artisans want to return since we never found much of them in the Blue Mountains."

"It'll be good for our production and trade," Gloin noted. Bilbo had found out that while Oin was the eldest son, it was Gloin who sat in their family's seat at council. Oin had eschewed politics for medicine. Which was just as well, Oin added, since he had never married and Gloin already had an heir. Once family was brought up, Gloin went on about his family arriving with the caravan.

Kili added that his mother was leading the caravan. "I miss her spicy meat stews. But your baking is better than hers," Kili said, adding in a side whisper, "don't tell her I said that!"

"Speaking of which," said Dori as he signaled the desserts to be brought out. The dwarves ooh'ed and aah'ed over the variety set along the table. Bilbo barely had a moment to say which pie was made of what before the company fell upon them. The chatter gave way to not so quiet sounds of appreciation. Dwalin commandered a plate of biscuits for himself, viciously fending off others' hands with his fork, his ears deaf to Kili's protests.

"Oh, now. That's a taste I remember," Balin said slowly working his way through a slice of mixed berry pie. "Did you grow all of these fruits yourself?"

Bilbo hummed as he swallowed. "Some. It's still too early for the fruit bearing trees to produce yet. Those I traded for. But the strawberries were all mine."

"Will you be growing them here?" Bombur asked.

"Is it safe for you to be exerting yourself thus?" Thorin quickly interjected.

"So far," Bilbo responded. "But I won't be able to do as much as I would like. I won't be able to kneel in the dirt much longer."

"We'll find you a helper, like the boy you had in Dale," Fili offered. Several of the dwarves looked at Bilbo questioningly.

"There was a young lad who lived not far from my little house. He helped me with the harder tasks and took my produce to market. I paid him in trade and was teaching him sustenance gardening for his family. Many of the families have lost the knowledge after living so long in Laketown." Many of the dwaves nodded in understanding.

"It would be too far for him to walk up everyday, but if he's still interested, perhaps we can arrange an apprenticeship with you, after the birth of the babe of course," said Balin thoughtfully. "It would be of benefit to us that the residents of Dale relearn as much of farming as they can."

Thorin hummed in thoughtful agreement. "It's possible we might also find some dwarrow lads without trades that may be interested in learning as well. But only if you are amenable."

"I might be interested in sending one of my lads," Oin said. "If we could grow our own herbs, our infirmary would be better stocked."

"I would like that. It would give me something to do. I haven't full scale farmed in many years but I could teach them what I know. I brought some plants with me to start another garden and I sent for some seeds. I don't know when they'll arrive, but until then, I'll work with what I have."

"You used to farm in the Shire?" Ori asked.

"When I was younger. Father insisted that I learn, even though we no longer farmed for money. I farmed for several years. Did fairly well for myself," Bilbo said with pride.

"But you didn't do anything when we met you, right?" asked Fili.

Bilbo laughed. "I was a gentlehobbit, but I did have a profession. I managed my family's properties. I wasn't quite the layabout that you lot seemed to think me."

"What happed to your property when you came with us?" asked Balin.

"I'm not sure. I had been training my cousin Drogo to help in my business, as I had helped my father. He's the one I would have eventually designated as my inheritor. I would hope that when I left he was able to keep my business in order. I do have a couple of relatives who might... let's just say they may cause problems. I did send instructions by letter before winter but I've not heard back anything yet."

"So you don't know what's become of your possessions?" Dwalin asked.

"No, but I'm not going to worry about that until I have word. I don't need to borrow trouble when I'm too far away to affect anything in the Shire."

The table fell quiet. Thorin knew he wasn't the only one contemplating all that Bilbo had given up to follow them. After some moments, Dori suggested they retire to the sitting area. It was an awkward move. Everyone fluttered about, each waiting for Bilbo to choose a spot and ducking out of his way. Bilbo found it oddly amusing.

Bilbo found himself between Kili and Ori again, Thorin across from him in an arm chair by the fireplace. A couple pulled out their pipes but tucked them away after Oin rather noisily cleared his throat and glared at them. Bilbo tried to hide his small smile. He missed his own pipe but he was glad he had not needed to be the one to request they refrain from smoking around him. He vividly remembered the first time someone's smoke had made him violently ill. It had not been pleasant for either party.

Dori retrieved Bilbo's new blanket and settled it over him. It was maybe a little too much fuss, but Bilbo allowed it. He'd not had such niceties in quite some time. As Dori tucked it around Bilbo's feet, Kili pointed.

"I just realized you're no longer wearing your boots," he observed. Bilbo heard several of the dwarves echo the word and turn to stare at his feet.

"Yes, well. It was part of the disguise," he explained. "Hobbit feet stick out like sore thumbs in these parts. Lucky for me, all of your boots are so clunky and large, no one questioned the size of mine."

"Will you continue to wear them?" asked Ori.

"Oh, no. There's no reason to wear them now."

"You should continue to wear them, for safety's sake, " Gloin said.

"You should protect your feet," Dori added. "There may yet be shards and rough places around the mountain."

Bilbo shook his head. "I ran around this mountain barefoot at it's worst and I was fine."

"Erebor is a more northern and elevated clime than the Shire. It will always be cooler than you are perhaps used to," reasoned Balin.

"It's summer still and I don't think I'll be venturing forth in the winter."

"The floors can get quite cold here." Bilbo wasn't sure who had said it, but it was like a floodgate had opened. Suddenly, the dwarves were all speaking at once with arguments of why he should wear boots.

"Please... please..." Bilbo said trying to stem the tide. "Please... thank you for your concern." He could barely hear himself over everyone. He raised his voice. "PLEASE!" Everyone quieted. "Please," he continued at normal volume. "I thank you for your concern but it's really not necessary. My feet are safe enough. And... and I really do prefer not wearing them. It was a bit of a hardship."

"What do you mean?" asked Nori.

"Hobbits aren't meant to wear shoes. As soft as my boots are, they still constrict my feet. It can become painful... mildly painful," he clarified as he noticed the shocked look on the dwarves' faces. "And it bars most of the sensation to my feet. We're connected to the earth, in a way, much like you are to stone. And to be cut off from it..." Many of the dwarves nodded. That they understood.

"It was very difficult." Bilbo sniffed remembering the various ways hiding had taken a toll on him. "There were many nights I spent walking in my garden or by the river side, in the dark when no one could see my bare feet, just so I could feel the earth beneath them." He didn't realize by the end that tears were standing in his eyes. He was confused by the silence until the tears rolled down his cheeks.

Before he could wipe them away, there was a frantic, heavy knocking at the door. Everyone turned. Several of the dwarves jumped to their feet: Thorin, Dwalin, Fili and Nori. The knocking escalated to a banging before Dori could open it. Bilbo couldn't see who it was around Dori's frame.

"Is he here?" Bilbo recognized Bofur's frantic voice. "They left me a message that Bilbo's been found!" Bilbo stood to greet his friend. He would see the surprise on Bofur's face when he entered the room. "Thank the Maker!" he exclaimed. "We'd thought we'd lost you!" He quickly strode up to Bilbo and wrapped him in a tight hug.

Bofur was very warm. Bilbo could feel himself relaxing into his friend's embrace, seconds before he sneezed and jerked back out of Bofur's arms. Bofur looked sheepish and began dusting off his clothes.

"Sorry 'bout that. We'd just come back out of the mine when they gave me the message. I came right over. 'Fraid I'm still a little dusty. Let me look at you." He grasped Bilbo by the arms and held him at arm's length. "Just look at you. It's good to see you've gained back yer weight and a some extra, I see. You were positively skeletal fer awhile there. And yer hair all braided like a little dwarf lad. Are you glowing?" Bofur angled Bilbo from side to side to examine him. "Is that your skin? Is that a hobbit thing?"

As Bofur took a good look at Bilbo's face, he noticed the tears still wet on his cheeks. His hand came up and brushed them away. "There now. Why the tears, friend? Who's making you cry?" It was said softly, but as Bofur took in the room, the dwarves standing and recalling the circumstances of when Bilbo had last been among them, his eyes darkened with anger. He turned and pushed Bilbo behind him.

"There now," he repeated with menace, turning to glare at the other dwarves. "Who's making you cry?"

Bilbo put his hand on Bofur's arm to get his attention. "No one. It's not like that. I was just relating why I don't want to wear boots any longer and I'm afraid I... I made myself cry."

Bofur turned back to Bilbo with a look of surprise. "Well, why would anyone want you to wear boots? They hurt yer feet!"

Bilbo smiled at Bofur's reaction. Of course his friend would remember and understand.

"Won't you sit?" Bilbo asked. "I promise I'll explain everything. You've missed dinner, I'm afraid."

"I'll see if there's anything left," Dori said rising.

Bofur waved Ori aside and settled himself next to Bilbo.

Thorin spoke while Bofur was taking a deep breath. He knew once Bofur got started it would be awhile before he got the chance again. "We do not mean to push you. We are only concerned for your safety. Dwarrow birth rate is so low that any pregnancy gives rise to strong protective instincts amongst us. Just as you may be prone to feelings during pregnancy, we are also prone to a need to protect. It can be, especially with loved ones, difficult to suppress."

Bilbo ducked his head. His heart had given an irregular thump at the words "with loved ones" but he schooled himself not to react. There was probably nothing special about those words. All of the company had been fond of him once. His hand absently traced the curve of his belly.

"What's he going on about pregnancy and birth rate for?" Bofur asked him.

Bilbo looked up at Bofur. It was time to get all of the questions out of the way.


	12. So Many Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the lovely comments and WOW all the hits! You guys are awesome!

"You're the only one that doesn't know," Bilbo said turning towards Bofur.

"Know what?" Bofur asked. His face had that honest look that Bilbo liked because it meant that Bofur would accept whatever he said with an open mind.

"This... this isn't just extra weight I've put on. That is to say, hobbit males can... or at least they used to, and for some reason it seems that I can, although I couldn't always, but somewhere along the way, I think it might've started at Beorn's, and there appears to have been some changes, and now, even though it's no longer normal, it's seems that I can umm... reproduce. What I mean is... I'm pregnant."

By the time Bilbo was done explaining, Bofur was speechless, his mouth hanging open.

"I thought you had just gone back to your normal hobbit size," he said faintly. He looked at Bilbo again. "Is that why you're glowing?"

Bilbo smiled ruefully. "I'm not actually glowing."

"Oh but you are. Your skin, it's bright and brilliant and just..." Bofur held up his hands and wiggled his fingers. "My, my, look at you." His hands hovered over Bilbo's belly. "May I?" he asked. Bilbo nodded and Bofur rested his hands against the curve. "Something hobbits just do, my foot. That's incredible! You're growing a tiny you in there!" he said, his voice full of excitement and awe.

Thorin was just as awed by the idea of a tiny Bilbo but he was distracted by Bofur's hands lying on Bilbo. His fingers involuntarily curled into his palms. They itched to push Bofur's hands away and take their place on Bilbo's belly. Somewhere in the back of his mind was a pulse that was saying, 'mine, mine, mine'. He breathed slowly, pushing the tide of jealousy down. Its voice reminded him somewhat of the voice that had whispered to him that the gold was his. It was a little disturbing. Besides, he told himself, Bilbo was no longer his. Unworthy, he repeated. Not my place. Not my privilege. He forcibly uncurled his fingers.

"A hobbit babe, imagine!" There were a couple of awws from the more sentimental dwarves. "Will he be little with big feet? Will he have your curly hair? Or your tiny nose? What about your ears?"

Bilbo laughed. "Bofur, slow down. You're as bad as Kili. I don't know. I've never heard of a hobbit-dwarf child before. I don't know what he'll be like."

Thorin noticed that all of Bofur's questions were of hobbit attributes like Bilbo's, not dwarf ones like Thorin's. But the novelty is that it will be a hobbit babe, he told himself. We are all familiar with dwarflings. None of us have seen a... hobbitling.

"So you think it'll be a boy?" Bilbo asked Bofur.

"Aye. Durin blood is strong. Look at those two," Bofur said throwing a thumb over his shoulder towards Fili and Kili. "That one looks just like Prince Frerin and that one looks just like Princess Dis. And they were lucky to have her. Mostly males in that line."

Durin blood is strong, Thorin repeated to himself. He hoped that Bilbo's would come through on the child as well. Bofur was right. A tiny Bilbo with his father's features would be incredible. His heart palpitated thinking on it.

"Does this mean you're staying? Is this why you came back?" Bofur asked eagerly.

"Ah, yes. I was... discovered by Oin and Balin yesterday and they invited me to come back. I just arrived this afternoon."

Bofur's eyebrows furrowed in thought. "Discovered? Just yesterday," he said slowly. "You were nearby," he said looking at Bilbo with surprise. "But you never came back. You didn't want us to find you?" The last was said with sadness.

"I didn't know what would happen. I was a little afraid, but I couldn't leave. I mean, I could have. Gandalf offered. But I wanted to stay."

"I tried to find you. We all did." Bofur's gaze swept across the other dwarves. He could tell this conversation wasn't easy for any of them. They had all felt dismay when they came to their rightful minds and Bilbo was nowhere to be found.

"We searched the mountain. We checked with every group that departed. We asked everyone but we couldn't find you. Gandalf wouldn't say anything but we knew you weren't dead, so I hoped that you would come back." Bilbo couldn't help but to give Bofur's hand a little squeeze.

"He was angry with us, at the way we had treated you and he was right to be. What we did... I'm still angry at us, at me. We did this. We chased you away. And look at you! You needed us. We should have been there." Bofur touched Bilbo's belly again gingerly. "How long?"

"Until the birth? We're not sure."

"No, how long have you been... with child? You've been gone all this time." He paused thinking. He knew Bilbo had loved Thorin. He would not have lain with anyone else. "Since you left. You had to have been... before the battle. Did you know?" Bofur's face was aghast.

"Right before. I had just figured it out," Bilbo said quietly.

"Did you tell..." Bofur's eyes cut to Thorin quickly before returning to Bilbo's. "... anyone?"

"No. I didn't. Everything was so..." Bilbo couldn't find a word and he didn't like using crazy or mad. They had such heavy connotations for how the company and Thorin had acted. Those words made him feel a little ill. He left it at that. He could be vague. They all knew what he was talking about. "The situation was escalating. And then I did the thing with the..." Biblo looked away. "Then everything happened and after, I didn't think you wanted me, any of you. So I left. Well, I stayed away."

"And then you did the thing..." Bofur drawled out slowly. Something about those words caught his attention. "Is that what prompted you to...?" Once the words were out of Bofur's mouth, he knew it had to be the truth. The room had fallen silent.

Bilbo nodded, tears welling up in his eyes. He hated talking about this but they needed to get everything out of the way. "I knew then that I couldn't wait any longer. I just didn't know what else to do. The way things were going, fighting seemed inevitable. I couldn't lose any of you. Your lives are worth more to me than any mountain full of gold."

Looking back, Bofur had remembered bits of how frustrated and powerless Bilbo had felt from things he had said. He normally would've done what he could to help his friend, but at the time, he had felt unconcerned. Later he had realized that feeling had been due to the gold sickness that had plagued them all to varying degrees. He had not felt it necessary to act until Thorin had threatened Bilbo. Even then, he was slow to react, only feeling the shame at their actions break through the haze of indifference when Bilbo was being lowered down to Gandalf, when it was too late.

"So you took it upon yourself to attempt to arrange peace when I would not," Thorin said gravely. This was not a new revelation to Thorin. He'd mulled over each step of how he had lost Bilbo many a night.

"I thought I could prevent a battle between you and the men and elves, but what could I do against an orc army?" Bilbo said.

"It was not your fight," Thorin said gently.

"Speaking of which," Bofur said, "what were you thinking running around on that battlefield? Some of us heard you! And come to find out you had the wee babe with you?"

Bilbo sniffed back his tears. He wasn't a fauntling to be chastised. He was fully grown and well capable of making his own decisions, however idiotic they may be. "I wasn't going to sit around and do nothing when everybody I cared for was in danger."

Bofur pulled at the end of his braids in frustration. "Do you have any idea just how dangerous it was out there?"

"You don't have to tell me. I was there! And let me tell you, it is much harder avoiding swords and arrows when nobody can see you. I could have easily been knocked senseless and trampled."

"That is not as reassuring as you think it is, laddie," Gloin noted dryly.

"Yes, well. We all made our decisions. And that's where it got us." Bilbo crossed his arms in stubborness. It really was their fault. They had forced his hand, even if he did still feel guilty about it.

Unbeknownst to Bilbo, Thorin was thinking the same thing: it really was all his fault. He had forced Bilbo's hand. Thorin still felt immensely guilty about all of it.

"Fine. I'll not argue that," Bofur huffed. "We'll leave it be for now, as long as you promise not to do anything so foolish again."

Bilbo raised an eyebrow. "Only if you all promise to do the same."

"Aye," Bofur smiled with chagrin. "We'll do the same. Now tell me where you've been hiding all this time."

Bilbo sketched out his life since the battle. He could tell by the occasional frown and furrowed brow that the dwarves were not happy about how the months had played out but what had happened couldn't be changed now.

"With my hair long enough to hide my ears, and none of the men of Dale having ever seen a hobbit, their healer thought I was a dwarf. Since I was expecting, he thought I was one of your dwarrowdams. I'm pretty sure he told everyone I was widowed, so they let me be. It didn't take much to disguise myself if I did have to be in public."

Bofur reached out and ran a finger down one of Bilbo's braids. "So that's what these are? Part of the disguise?"

Bilbo hummed in agreement, a faint blush rising to his cheeks as Bofur carefully tucked the braid behind his ear. He hadn't had this kind of intimate touch in a long time, even if Bofur didn't actually touch his ear. Thorin was sure Bofur was getting a little too intimate with the touching but he kept his thoughts to himself. He still remembered what Oin had said about Bilbo needing comforting touch. He just wasn't sure this was exactly what Oin had meant.

"I think I like seeing your ears peeking out better. What's this, now?" Bofur asked as his finger ran over Bilbo's hidden earcuff. "How'd you come by this?"

"It was a gift."

Several of the dwarves sat up straighter. Who would do something as personal as give their hobbit jewelry, especially ear jewelry? They all remembered the hobbit culture conversation about ears, and the touching of, being somewhat-to-extremely intimate in nature.

"Friend of yours?," Bofur asked curiously.

"Not really," Bilbo responded with mild confusion. He didn't know what to make of the faces some of the dwarves were making. Some seemed unduly interested. Some seem consternated. "Is there something wrong with it?"

"No, no. It's just that... dwarves usually only give jewelry to family or loved ones."

"Ah." Bilbo thought back to the dwarf who had given it to him. "There was a dwarf in the healing tents. He was fevered for many days. I sang to him one night as I watched over him. He woke and pressed it into my hand. He said I reminded him of his mother," he explained, his voice soft with the memory.

"Do you know his name?" Balin asked.

"No. Once he was recovered enough to be lucid, I stopped tending to him so I wouldn't be recognized."

"So did you wear it as part of your disguise?" Ori asked. When Dori gave him a mildly disapproving look, he stuttered, "it's just that you can't see it with the hair and the braids."

"No," Bilbo answered. "I wear it because it reminded me of something."

"What did it remind you of?" asked Dori now curious himself.

Bilbo sighed. He did want them to know how he had felt, not out of some sense of needing to make them feel bad or getting his own back, but so that would they would know where he was coming from in his moments of insecurity. "Just keep in mind that one, I'm pregnant and can be very emotional and two, after everything that had happened, I was feeling very vulnerable." He peeked up at the dwarves. Their interest was now piqued and they all definitely wanted to hear the answer. "It reminded me that not all dwarves hated me."

The room erupted into protests and reassurances. All Bilbo really heard was Fili's "we never hated you" and Kili's following cry of "never!"

Bofur had gripped his hand. "We never hated you. We were right idiots, but we never hated you."

"Not a one of us," Thoin added. "Our minds were muddled with possessiveness and the bedamned gold, but not hate. I can only speak for myself, but I know that my anger was fueled by a sense of betrayal, a perceived betrayal. And it was a false one. What you did, saved us, gaining us allies at the moment we needed them most. It saved not just our lives and the lives of our kinsmen but our kingdom. Those allies have helped us revive the life in her. For that, we... I can never repay you. I am grateful. I can only beg humblest apologies and endeavour to gain your forgiveness."

At that, Thorin stood and bowed low to Bilbo. Behind him, Fili and Kili quickly rose to their feet and followed suit. As one, the rest of the company stood and bowed. They held the bow for some moments, until Bilbo was able to articulate.

"Please..." Bilbo sniffed and wiped his sleeve across the face. "Please sit."

Thorin slowly rose and motioned for the company to retake their seats. They sat in silence. No one knew what to say next after the gravity of the moment.

Bilbo swiped his fingers across his cheek as fresh tears fell. This was more than he had dared to ask for. He had wanted forgiveness. He hadn't expected true understanding. And acknowledgement... that was a sweet balm to his hurt and the guilt he still carried. For them all, as one, to tell him they understood and to ask his forgiveness, filled his heart with hope that their relationships could be restored.

"I... I..." Bilbo cleared his throat and tried again. "Thank you."

There were a few moments of silence before Thorin continued. "It is not enough. There is more that we would give you than just words, if you will accept it."

Bilbo gave a small nod. Thorin reached into his coat pocket and took out the the two items he had collected from the treasury. He held up the first, a gold chain with a bright, gold circle pendant. He handed it to Bilbo who turned it over in his hand. On one side, it had the seal of Durin. On the other, an engraving of the moutain with Cirth writing around the edge.

"I know you do not value gold overmuch, but this is a symbol. If you wear it, it marks you as sanbâh, a true friend. It shows that you are under the protection of Erebor. If you needed it, any of her people would come to your aid."

Thorin handed Bilbo the second item, a gold signet ring. The circle of the face had cirth letters carved in it for stamping.

"You gave up your share of the treasure to buy our safety. It should not be your burden to bear alone. It is the will of all of us that you receive your portion. The shares were redistributed to guarantee your share. It is held in trust by the treasury. This ring will allow you to make withdrawals. Use it in the market place, even in Dale. It has the Erebor Treasury mark. Any merchant will accept a stamp of it to be paid by the treasury. We would see you with the resources you need, especially now."

Bilbo held the tokens in his hand. "Thank you but this... this is too much."

"It is no more than you have rightfully earned and it is still not enough. You have only to ask and it will be done."

Thorin sat down and leaned back in his chair. For months, he'd had those unsaid words pressing down on him. He released his breath and felt less burdened. It wasn't everything he wanted to say, but it was a start. 


	13. And now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More talking after dinner...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait y'all! But I'm not done with this yet. I keep getting vignettes pop up in my mind and I'm trying to work them in. Hope you like this little chapter. More to come.
> 
> *Edit: for some reason the 2nd to last paragraph didn't paste in originally. It's there now.

Bilbo closed his hand over the tokens Thorin had given him. He would think more on them and what they meant later.

"What will you do now?" Bofur asked.

Bilbo looked up at him and then around the room. "I'm going to stay here. There's nothing for me in the Shire. The only thing I have there are possessions."

"What about your family?" asked Kili.

"All distant relations. None of us are very close, although I do miss some of them. But my family is here. That's why I stayed."

Bofur took Bilbo's hand again. "I'm glad you're back. It wasn't right not having you here. And now we have something to look foward to. Have you started to consider names?"

That snapped up everyone's attention again.

"There are a few girl names I like. Belladonna, after my mother. Or maybe Violet, Lily or Jasmine. I just can't seem to settle on any boy names. I don't know enough about dwarf names. I only know a few. I figure I have enough time to decide before the birth even if I don't know when it will be."

"Well, how long are hobbit pregnancies?" Bofur asked.

"Seven months."

"And you're what..." Bofur squinted trying to work out the math.

"Eightish, as near as I can figure. So I don't know what to expect anymore, except maybe that things are not as I expect. My moods and feelings are so unpredictable sometimes."

"Normal," said Oin.

"So be forewarned. You've seen me in tears already over something relatively inconsequential."

"Normal," Oin repeated.

"I get these bouts of anxiety and my temper, which was always a bit too Tookish, is worse now."

"Yes, yes, very normal. Why, I remember when my Bruni carried our wee Gimli. Everything set her off," Gloin recounted, affection coloring his voice. "She got so angry once, she broke my arm! I don't even remember why!" He sighed heavily. "I miss her so."

Oin patted Gloin's knee. "Not much longer now, brother. And not too much longer for you either, Bilbo. I doubt you'll carry the full ten months. I fully expect to see some rapid growth in these last weeks."

"I hope not too much more," Bilbo groused. "I already have a hard time grooming my feet since I can't see them. I can't imagaine what it'll be like if I get much bigger." He lifted his legs and wiggled his toes.

"We could perhaps find someone to help you with that too," suggested Dori.

Bilbo curled his toes in distaste. "No, thank you. It's much like your braids, I'm afraid, touching a hobbit's feet. It's very personal."

"Your braids..." Ori piped. "Do they have any significance?"

Bilbo's hand went up to trace one. "No, not really. My mother taught me to braid hair. Hobbit men tend to keep their hair short. Being curly, it's quite bothersome."

"Which is why you should just let it grow," interjected Fili. "Then you can keep it braided back properly. Then it won't ever be a problem again!"

"Yes, well. In the Shire, it's not the fashion for men, I'm afraid." Bilbo ignored the grumbling about bad fashion sense and continued. "My mother always kept her hair long, to her waist. She would often braid it to keep it contained. It was as wild as she was," he said fondly. "I used to love to play with it. She said I might as well be useful while I had my hands in it, so she taught me to braid. She was very fashionable, so she taught me many different patterns, some of them quite complex. I'm sure she'd be very amused to see what use I put that knowledge to."

"Well, it's very fetching," said Dori.

Bofur had been watching Bilbo's finger trace the braid. "You know, I think I've seen this pattern before, on your cuff. I just can't remember where." He shrugged. "It'll come to me." He tapped the ring on Bilbo's finger. "This is why they thought you'd been married. That's a custom of men, wedding rings. What's the story behind this one?"

Bilbo closed the hand with the ring. "Another from the healing tents. Sadly, he didn't make it."

"You could always come work with us in the infirmary, if you wanted to," Oin said softly. "Gentle soul like you might be just the thing some need."

"Or the library!" Ori added. "There's lots of work to be done there too. I know you'd like it."

"There are still many things I need to do before the birth and I'm sure I'll be busy for quite some time afterward. But it's nice to know I'll be able to find occupation when I'm ready."

Bilbo breathed deeply for a moment while the dwarves kicked around more ideas of what Bilbo could do. Balin suggested his steady penmanship could be useful in their government offices, copying out treaties and negotiations. Bombur said that the kitchens were always open to a fellow cook. Some of the suggestions were outlandish and made Bilbo smile. He could feel a warmth spreading through him. They all were trying to find him places to fit his life into so he would stay.

Bilbo was brought back to the conversation when the dwarves broke out into laughter. Bifur rumbled out something. Bofur responded with a boisterous story. From there they all began to tell stories of their lives in the past year. Bilbo smiled and laughed with them, his cheeks glowing with happiness.

At some point, Fili and Kili produced their fiddles and began a merry tune. Bofur pulled his flute out of his jacket and played harmony to the boys' melody. Bilbo's gaze wandered around watching Nori play his flute, Bifur his clarinet and Bombur his drum. They were more than enough to create a raucous orchestra, but it was never too much. Bilbo felt it was just right.

After a couple of failed attempts at a jig, the music slowed and several of the dwarves took turns singing songs. Some were humorous, some about longing for love. Balin surprised Bilbo by singing one about the joys of coming home that brought tears to his eyes. None of the songs sung though were mournful like the song they had sung at Bag End. Their contentment at having returned to their homeland reflected in the lyrics of their songs.

As the fire burned low, the dwarves settled into quiet conversation. Bilbo tried to follow the topics but his eyes became heavy. He told himself closing them for a few moments would be fine.

He woke to the sounds of much shifting. He blinked his eyes open and found he was leaning against Bofur's side.

"What's happened?" he asked blearily.

"It's late," Thorin answered, speaking softly. "We've kept you up long enough."

Bilbo watched as the dwarves filed out, each waving or wishing him goodnight as they left. Bofur helped him to stand.

"I best go get washed up meself," Bofur said, letting go of Bilbo's hands. "I'll see you tomorrow." He turned back at the door. "It's good to have you back, lad," he said before exiting.

Bilbo smiled at him before turning back to see who was left. Only Thorin, Fili and Kili remained.

"It's locked up tight, Uncle," Fili said, having double checked the terrace doors. He laid a hand on Bilbo's shoulder. "Glad you're back." He walked to the door and waited.

Kili squeezed Bilbo in a tight hug. "Me too. You belong here, with us," he said before joining Fili at the door. They nodded to their uncle before turning to leave.

Bilbo turned to Thorin. He was looking down, apparently deep in thought. Bilbo waited.

"There is more I would speak to you about, but the hour is late and I find my mind is scattered. May I call on you tomorrow?"

"Of course. I think I will probably stay in tomorrow and get settled. Come by when you are free."

"We serve a communal breakfast down the hall from here if you're interested. But as it's been an eventful day, no one will bother you if you decide to sleep in."

Bilbo smiled. "Yes, it has been a rather topsy-turvy day. A lie-in might be a good idea."

"Well then... I'll leave you. Goodnight Bilbo. I'm glad... I'm glad you've returned." Thorin bowed and walked to the door. Bilbo watched him as he lingered at the door a moment, then let himself out. He followed behind, bolted the door shut and turned back to his bedroom.

As he snuggled down into his blankets and what felt like the softest fur ever, Bilbo sighed with contentment. This was more than he had dared to hope for. There were so many things that he no longer had to fear. He could hear his heart beating, steady and strong, no fluttering with anxiety. This wasn't a hobbit community but what he had around him seemed better. He knew his dwarves would help and support him.

He drifted off to the steady thump of his heart. He wondered if his baby could hear it and if he knew they were safe too.


	14. Moments of domesticity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo's in his new home and has a couple of moments of domesticity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the lovely comments! I horde them and revisit them. Y'all are awesome for sticking with me!

Bilbo knew he wouldn't sleep through the night. His mind was too unsettled with everything that had happened in the past two days. So when he awoke with the feeling that something wasn't quite right, it didn't surprise him. It did, however, take him a few moments to realize it was because he was in the mountain. It was so silent under the rock. Normally he could hear the quiet murmur of the river that his house had been situated near and the twittering of some birds. But he heard nothing. It was a little off putting.

He turned and resettled himself. It would take some getting used to, like living alone had taken after his parents had passed. How getting used to the sounds of so many bodies had been on the quest, and getting used to being alone again after. He missed sleeping close to someone more than he wanted to admit. It would just make him long for something he couldn't have.

He closed his eyes and took deep breaths, willing his mind away from those thoughts. He'd already had an emotional day. He didn't want to throw an emotional, sleepless night on top of it. He waited for sleep to come again.

Thorin retired to his room. He undressed and lay in bed but didn't think he would be able to fall asleep. Bilbo was in the mountain, in his hall, so close. His kept his eyes on the wooden door that lead from his bedroom, the king's bedroom to the queen's bedroom. Or his consort's bedroom. His heart sped up at that idea.

He had made sure to have Dori hide the door on Bilbo's side with a thick tapestry. He didn't think Bilbo would think to look behind it. He would surely protest if he knew that their chambers were connected. It was taking all of his will power to keep himself in bed and not pressed against the door listening for any sound from Bilbo.

Really what Thorin wanted was to be lying in bed with Bilbo in his arms. He remembered how it felt, only now, he supposed it would feel a little different with the roundness of the babe between them. His thoughts grew tinged with jealousy when he remembered Bofur touching that roundness. Fili had told him how they had touched Bilbo and the babe had moved. He wanted to feel that with a deep longing. And then to have to watch Bofur touch what was his made his feelings of dwarvish possessiveness rise.

He took a deep breath. Bilbo was not a possession. Bilbo, in fact, had once been very vocal about clarifying that at some length after Thorin had intimated that Bilbo was his. He smiled remembering Bilbo's pert reply. No, Bilbo was not a possession. He lay and pulled up in his mind's eye the image of Bilbo as he had been tonight, smiling and radiant. He fell asleep warmed by that image.

Bilbo ended up sleeping past first and second breakfast. By the time elevensies rolled around, he was up and dressing. His hobbit sensibilities kept him from lazing the day away when there was work to be done. When he had completed his morning ablutions, he stood in his great room at a bit of a loss. Did he seek out the communal dining room or did he fix himself something in his own kitchen? Surely they would not have waited for him.

Unsure what to do, Bilbo unbolted his door and peeked out. Kili was seated in a chair across the hall, mumbling as he read from a rather large tome. He looked up when he heard the door open. Kili smiled and stood.

"Good morning!"

Bilbo smiled back and opened the door wider. "Good morning, Kili. What are you doing out here?"

"Waiting for you, of course. Uncle said we were to leave you be until you woke on your own. I convinced him to let me wait here, in case you needed something, but he said I had to do some reading if I was to wait so as not to waste my time," he said waving his book. Bilbo motioned Kili inside.

"Well then, I'm sorry that I bolted the door against you. You could have come right in." Bilbo shook his head as he closed the door. "It's a habit I picked up in Dale. I don't think I ever bolted my door in the Shire... except maybe when I was expecting Lobelia."

"Why wouldn't you bolt your door?"

"We really didn't have crime, except for naughty fauntlings. There was no reason to fear." Bilbo led Kili into the kitchen and motioned for him to sit as he began rummaging around the pantry.

"Did you have reason to fear in Dale?" Kili asked, his eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"Not really," Bilbo answered, transferring ingredients to the countertops. "But I was alone in an unknown place. I'm a small person compared to the men I was living amongst and I don't have the strength you dwarves do. So while I don't think there really was any reason to fear, it didn't stop me from being a little afraid."

"It's not right that you were afraid. I mean, we should have been there so you wouldn't have had to feel afraid."

"It'a alright. It was probably a good thing anyway. A little caution never hurt anybody." Kili frowned at the seemingly faulty logic of being afraid. There was more to it than that, but Bilbo didn't want to go into it. He spoke to distract Kili. "What is it that you're reading?"

"History and laws," Kili said pushing the book away from him. "Uncle says Fili and I have so much more to learn now that we're princes with an actual moutain. It's so amazingly boring. They make us take more lessons from Balin, more than we did before!"

Bilbo chuckled. He remembered having to take many uninteresting lessons from his father on business. "One day you may be glad for those lessons."

Kili gave Bilbo a skeptical look. "Fili's the heir. I'm just the spare. And nothing will ever happen to him, so I don't see why I have to learn it."

Bilbo chose to ignore the fact that something most definitely had happened to Fili and Kili. Hopefully nothing so dire would ever happen to them ever again. "Thror had Thrain and your uncle to help run the kingdom. Your uncle had many duties even back then, if I remember correctly from his stories."

"I guess," Kili said glumly.

"Maybe this will help," said Bilbo placing a piece of left over pie in front of Kili.

Kili's face brightened in surprise. "I thought we had eaten all of them!"

"I may have hidden one away," Bilbo said winking. He turned back to the stove, humming as he prepared his breakfast. He knew Kili was watching him the entire time as he moved about making breakfast.

"I'm not going to disappear you know," he said replacing Kili's empty plate with a full one. He sat with his own plate and tucked in.

"I know," Kili said sheepishly, picking up his fork. "It's just... I've never seen this side of you before. Is this what you were like at Bag End?"

Bilbo laughed. "Yes, I suppose it is. That night you lot arrived was quite the exception! I don't think I had ever been so flustered in all my life."

"This just feels very..." Kili considered as he slathered jam on a biscuit. "... homey."

"Is this not how it was at your home in the Blue Mountains?" Bilbo asked between bites.

Kili shrugged. "Maybe a little. We just didn't have time for it very often. There was always something to be done, jobs to work, training, or helping our people with Uncle."

"I'll admit my life was very much one of leisure. With no spouse or children of my own, I had a lot of free time. And since I was well-off, I wanted for nothing and could pursue my own interests."

"And when the babe comes?"

"I'm sure he'll take up much of my time. But I'll have very few worries. You and the company have provided for me so I won't have to labor for my keep."

"You've already earned it, Bilbo. You deserve it. You've done more for us than our own people," Kili said seriously.

"Don't judge them too harshly. When you've lost so much, it's hard to risk what you have left. I was alone, so I didn't really have anything to risk."

"But that's not true, now is it? You had more to lose than any of us."

Bilbo didn't like this serious line of talk. It still stung somewhat. He laid his hand on Kili's arm and gave him a soft smile. "But it all worked out, thank the Valar. Speaking of which, I'll need to find something for a new altar."

"A new what?"

"Altar. Well, less of an altar and more of a bird feeder. As thanks to Yavanna, hobbits sometimes have a small bowl or something to put crumbs out for birds or small animals. Maybe you saw the one in my garden?"

"The pottery stand with the pretty bowl?"

"That's the one."

"But there were two of them," Kili noted. "Didn't one have water?"

"Yes. I hope it's not sacrilegious," Bilbo said hesitantly. "But the second one I put up in honor of Mahal."

Kili's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "No, it's not sacrilegious. It's just not usual. Why would you do that?"

"As thanks."

"For?" Kili pressed.

Bilbo sighed. "I'll tell you but you have to promise you'll keep it to yourself." Kili opened his mouth to protest. "Yes, yes, you can tell Fili, but no one else, mind you. I don't want anyone thinking I've lost my mind."

"Promise!" Kili said as he leaned in closer.

"On the battlefield, I said I had dodged swords and arrows." Kili nodded remembering Bilbo's protests from last night. "Well the orcs were throwing stones as well, rather large ones. I couldn't keep watch out for everything. It was too much." He paused pushing the bits left on his plate about. "There was one, a large rock that was headed towards me. I didn't see it at first and when I did it was almost on me. I couldn't have moved in time but another rock, out of nowhere, collided with it and knocked it away."

Bilbo looked up at Kili. "It happened at least twice that I saw. They were rocks big enough to have knocked me out. With my ring on, no one would have seen me or heard me over the all the noise." Kili's eyes were wide and Bilbo knew he understood how catastrophic that would have been. "The only ones throwing rocks that day were orcs. And I find it hard to believe that I was just that lucky."

Kili, no matter how daft he seemed at times, was not an idiot. "You think Mahal saved you!"

"I do. Whether for the dwarf babe I carry or for the sake of his wife Yavanna, I don't know."

Kili sat back and slumped in his chair. "And that's why you had an altar to honor Mahal."

Bilbo nodded. They sat in silence for a few minutes, Bilbo letting Kili digest what he'd been told. "You can only tell Fili though."

"But why wouldn't you want to tell everybody? That's amazing!"

Bilbo shook his head. "It's unbelievable, that's what it is. And no one will believe me. People will just think that I actually got hit on the head with a rock and dreamed it."

"But..."

"No buts, Kili. Fili and no one else." Bilbo gave him a stern look until Kili nodded in agreement.

"Fine. I'll take you to the market and we can find something you like for your altar to Yavanna. But will you let me and Fili find something for the one to Mahal?"

Bilbo smiled. "I think I would like that very much. Now, I need to wash these dishes and work on starting a new garden. Can you come back a bit later? I'll have a better idea of what I might need then."

"You don't need any help?" Kili asked reluctant to leave.

"I'll be fine. Go on now, you have lessons, I'm sure."

Kili took off in search of Fili. He had to tell him what Bilbo had said before he spilled it out to anyone else. Also, he didn't want to just buy something for Bilbo's altar. It needed to be something more personal. He knew he could count on Fili for help. Maybe this could be their way of thanking Mahal for looking after Bilbo and thanking Yavanna for healing them.

Bilbo cleaned the kitchen then went to the terrace doors. He slowly worked the bar mechanism like he'd seen Fili do. When they opened, the fresh air and sunlight made joy bubble up in his chest. His dwarves had given him this because they wanted him to be happy. He walked out and stretched his face up to the sun. It gave him a deep sense of contentment to be out in the elements. To be safely out in the elements, he chuckled to himself.

He turned to the side where his crate of tools and the potted plants had been stashed. He decided he would call the paved area the terrace and the rest, the garden. He opened the crate and pulled out several implements. It would do for now, he thought, but maybe later he could have a small tool shed or cabinet built.

He hummed as he began working, transferring the plants he had brought with him. The soil seemed good but it could stand a little enrichment. He compiled a list in his mind. Perhaps he could hire someone to get what he needed from Dale. He didn't want to make the journey again, not in his condition. He doubted his dwarves would let him go anyway.

His thoughts meandered around plans. He'd plant a flower garden right in front of the terrace. It'd be lovely to look at and would perfume the air in his rooms if the breeze was just right. Beyond that, he'd have his vegetable garden. He could have fresh produce at his fingertips. He wondered about fruit trees. There was plenty of room up here. He brushed aside the consideration that such a venture would require years.

He wondered if he could find some older saplings to buy and have them transported to the mountain. He just didn't want to wait so long to reap first fruits. He smiled. What would his dwarves think about him wasting money on trees? They probably wouldn't mind if the fruit ended up in pies and tarts. He laughed out loud thinking about what their faces would look like when he asked about the possibility.

"What has you so amused?" Bilbo startled at the deep rumbling of Thorin's voice. He looked up and saw Thorin walking towards him.

"What your faces will look like when I ask to buy trees," Bilbo said patting soil down.

Thorin's eyebrows rose in surprise. It certainly was not what he had expected, Bilbo could tell. He laughed again, the sound clear and bright.

"Yes, I imagined it would look just like that."

Thorin's chest warmed at the sound of Bilbo's laughter. It was good to see his hobbit happy. It gave him some hope that Bilbo would be happy living with them here in the mountain.

"I'd like some fruit trees, but I don't want to wait years to start them on my own. I'll have to make inquiries and see if I can find some for transplant."

"I didn't know that was possible," Thorin said.

Bilbo chuckled. "I wouldn't expect you to. I'm always surprised that you even eat fruit, much less expect that you would know anything about growing them."

Thorin hummed in agreement. "It's lunch time. I'm surprised to find you out here."

"Lunch time already?" Bilbo hadn't realized that much time had passed. He'd been so lost in his thoughts. He looked around. All of the plants had been transplanted and watered. He didn't even remember filling the water can, but there it was by his side. He picked it up and watered the last plant.

"Yes, a spot of lunch would be nice," he said dusting off his hands and making to stand. Thorin quickly moved to his side and held out his hands to assist. Bilbo startled when he realized Thorin meant to help him up. He paused for a moment but Thorin did not retract his hands. It's just as well, Bilbo thought. I'll have to get used to it.

He reached up and Thorin took his arms, gently pulling him to his feet. It really was much easier with his help.

"Thank you," Bilbo said.

Thorin picked up the water can and followed Bilbo back. He'd had to concentrate to keep himself from holding onto Bilbo longer than was appropriate. It had stung a little when Bilbo had hesitated to take his hands but it was completely understandable. When he did though, the feeling of holding onto Bilbo had rapidly warmed his chest. His Bilbo, so forgiving, so courageous that he would allow him to touch him after everything, that he wouldn't be afraid. He picked up the water can, leaving it on the terrace. He quietly followed Bilbo back inside.

In the kitchen, Bilbo washed his hands in the sink. "I can't tell you how much I appreciate your dwarven plumbing. I didn't even have a pump in my little house. Please sit," he said motioning Thorin to a chair. "I'll make us a little something." He pulled out some ham and potatoes to slice and fry.

"It was inconvenient having to draw my own water." Thorin's frown made Bilbo smile. "Don't worry, my lads had been filling my little cistern for awhile. They were quite helpful."

"My apologies, I react only out of concern," Thorin tried to explain. He didn't want to seem disapproving or overbearing.

"I know," Bilbo said gently. "If I thought otherwise, I would say so."

Thorin marveled at Bilbo's casual manner. He couldn't stop himself from commenting. "You seem... very at ease with me."

"I've been assured that I have nothing to fear," said Bilbo. The words were spoken gravely. He had wanted to say them light heartedly, but they didn't come out that way.

"I know you dwarves value family and children as much as we hobbits do. I want you to be present and active in our child's life. As such, we will be interacting a lot. It would be... painful if we were to remain awkward and stilted with each other."

Thorin bowed his head. "You are very giving."

"I forgave you, Thorin. I meant it. I hope you know, it was never my intention to keep your child from you. What I did, I did out of insecurity and uncertainty."

"I do not hold it against you," Thorin said. "Your fears were comprehensible after my words and actions."

Bilbo stilled his slicing. "There may be times that I might not... react very well. I can't help it. I think I'm past the worst of it, but sometimes..."

"Of course," Thorin said sadly. He understood what Bilbo was telling him, he was not yet over the trauma Thorin had inflicted on him. "I did not expect you to forget."

Thorin paused to gather his thoughts and his fortitude. These next words would cost him. "I do not expect a return to our relationship as it was before. I know I have poisoned that well by my own actions. Do not worry that I will press for it. But I will always treat you with respect and honor. You are very dear to me. You will always have a place among my people. Whatever you want or need, you have only to ask and I will see it done."

Bilbo wished that all it would have taken was words to brush away the past and make things the way they had been but he knew it wasn't that easy. His occasional nightmares were proof of that. But that didn't stop him from wishing for it.

"What I did, I did out of love. Nothing has changed that." Bilbo said, his words cutting straight to Thorin's heart. "But I can't just..." Thorin nodded. He knew what Bilbo meant to say. "I need time for that to heal."

There was silence for several minutes as Bilbo began his cooking. "I came back because I want to be here. You all are my family. But I also need to be here because you are my family. I'm sure Oin told you about how I need physical touch."

Thorin cleared his throat. "Yes, he said it helps you."

"It does. Hobbits, we're very tied to our family and community. That's why you don't find lone hobbits and why we never leave our communities. It's not just social or psychological, it's physical as well. The touch of family boosts our mood and our physical well being. It's really very important."

"You lived alone in the Shire," Thorin noted.

"I had many cousins and acquaintances. I was getting by, but I wasn't thriving. I had enough interaction to stave off the effects but in time, I would have needed more. And now that I'm expecting..."

"You're more vulnerable."

"I am. I think because this pregnancy is more taxing on my body than a normal hobbit pregnancy would be it increases my need. I don't mean to force anyone into anything they don't want. Being amongst you will help in itself."

"You are not asking for anything that we are not willing to give. We dwarrows are not as unaffectionate as other races assume. We seem that way because we have had to be wary and reserved amongst others. But no longer. All of the brotherly and familial affection you saw on the road, you will see more of as we settle into our home and the security it provides us."

Thorin paused in thought, watching Bilbo move about. "Did Gandalf know that leaving your community could be potentially harmful to your health?"

Bilbo turned to look at Thorin. "He knows much about hobbits. I'm sure he did."

"Then why would he risk it? He is very attached to you."

Bilbo thought while he flipped the frying ham slices. "Gandalf knew my parents and my grandfather. I remember him from when I was very young, although I had not seen him in years. Regardless, he knows an awful lot about the goings-on in the Shire. I'm sure he knew I had been foundering since the death of my parents," he said slowly.

"I had no deep attachments. I think he feared for me but couldn't think of a way to stimulate my relationships. I think he hoped that I would become closer to my kin when I returned." Bilbo huffed and turned a small smile to Thorin. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder. I think that's what he thought would happen, that I would miss the Shire so much that I would more tightly cling to my kin when I returned."

"Are you sorry that's not what happened?" Thorin asked gravely. It hurt to think of Bilbo possibly leaving them or still longing to return to his home.

"No. I'm sorry for some of the things that have happened, but not for the bonds I have formed. They have been sorely tested, but I think they will recover. I don't think even Gandalf could have predicted how we would all come to care for each other."

Bilbo turned back to his cooking. Thorin sat in silence for several minutes as Bilbo bustled about, gathering items from the pantry. He laid out the table before placing a plate in front of Thorin. When he turned back to the stove, Thorin stared at the plate.

Bilbo had never fed him before. He didn't count that first night at Bag End. Bilbo had repeatedly told them that had been more of a home invasion and there hadn't been much left by the time he'd arrived. All that time traveling, they'd shared meals, many of which Bilbo had helped prepare.

But now he sat at Bilbo's table and this was the first meal prepared by Bilbo's own hands for just the two of them. His heart burned at the domesticity of it. If only he could have this every day. He closed his eyes at the swell of longing threatening to drown him. He said he would not press Bilbo. He would not force his emotions upon him.

Bilbo turned back around and gently set his own plate down. "Is everything alright?" He didn't know what to make of Thorin's closed eyes.

Thorin cleared his throat. "Fine, yes, thank you."

"I'm sorry, I didn't even think," said Bilbo chagrined. "If you're not hungry, don't feel obligated to eat. Hobbit habit, I'm afraid, to assume everyone could stand a helping. I'll remove it." Bilbo reached for the plate. Thorin grabbed it with both hands and pulled it closer to himself before Bilbo could grasp it.

"No... thank you for offering. I want it. I do." He held onto the plate until Bilbo sat down. They ate in silence. Thorin chewed each bite thoroughly. Each swallow felt like contentment tinged with a little bit of sadness. He could have had this, every day, every meal. He wanted it to last so he didn't rush. Bilbo was done long before he was.

"Thorin..." Bilbo started as Thorin speared the last bit off his plate. "I wanted to ask you..." Thorin nodded at Bilbo to continue. "What will it be like for our child?"

"In what way?" Thorin asked, brows furrowed. He wasn't sure what information Bilbo was after.

"We're not married. In the Shire, that would stigmatize the child's birth. What will it be like here?"

Thorin shook his head. "It doesn't matter. Dwarrow births are so few, we rejoice at each one. If their parents choose not to marry, surely they have their reasons. But that does not reflect on the child."

"So he won't be considered a bastard?" Bilbo asked weakly. It was one of the things he worried about most, how their child would be received.

"No, he will be fully acknowledged as my child. He will be a prince of Erebor. After all, he has as much Durin blood as Fili or Kili."

"What will that mean for him, that's he's a prince of Erebor?" Bilbo asked, curious to know how his child's life might be affected by his more illustrious lineage.

"He'll have a royal education. When he's older, he'll have princely duties. He'll be in line to the throne."

Before Thorin could continue, Bilbo blurted, "but Fili is your heir!"

"True. There will most likely be lengthy discussions as to whether my own child should be first in line to the throne or last as his birth was after that of Fili and Kili who are already my acknowledged heirs."

"There is something I would like to ask for," Bilbo said concentrating on what to say. "I would ask that you remove our child from succession." Thorin looked at Bilbo with curiosity.

"First, I think there would opposition to introducing a half dwarf to the succession when your people have just reclaimed their homeland. Second, a hobbit's life span is shorter than a dwarf's. We have no idea what our child's will be like. I would hate for him to spend the majority of his life preparing for a throne he will never end up taking either because he didn't live long enough or it was denied him. I'd rather our child have the freedom to do as he pleased with his life."

Before Thorin could say anything, Bilbo held up a hand to stall him. "I understand that as part of the royal family, he will have certain duties and expectations. I'm not saying he should be excluded from all of that. He is your son. I just don't wish to see him expend his life for something that will never happen. I would rather see him live and enjoy doing something he loves. Besides, he's part hobbit. We care very little for power or politics."

Thorin gave Bilbo's thoughts their due. "I will discuss it with Balin, Fili and Dis when she arrives. You make valid points."

Bilbo looked up into Thorin's face. "Thank you. It's not that I don't want our son to have the benefits of what you have to offer. I do. But Kili is seventy-ish and you still consider him little more than a fledgling. Hobbits, if we're lucky, may make it past a hundred."

Thorin chuckled. "Kili could be over a hundred and we'd probably still consider him a fledgling."

"True," Bilbo smiled.

Bilbo poured them a fresh cup of tea as Thorin sat in quiet reflection. He thought about what it would mean, not just a son, but a new prince. It was a good fifteen minutes before he realized Bilbo had cleared the table and cleaned up the kitchen. He only realized when Bilbo sat back down.

"Now then, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?" Bilbo asked.

Truth be told, Thorin had all ready said what he had meant to say.  He just didn't want to leave when Bilbo was being so open and relaxed with him. And as long as Bilbo was being giving, he felt he could take a chance. 

"Fili told me... he told me... that you allowed them to feel the child... that he moved under their hands."

"Yes, he did quite a number on them," Bilbo smiled softly.

"I have not felt that since Kili's birth and even then, I was away for much of Dis' pregnancies. I wondered..." Thorin paused. He was afraid Bilbo would refuse him but he wanted it too much not to ask. "Would you allow me... if you would allow me to feel the child," he finished looking down at the table. It might hurt less if Bilbo wasn't looking at him when he refused.

After a moment, Bilbo stood up. Sure that Bilbo was going to ask him to leave, Thorin started to rise.

"No, stay seated. It will be easier," Bilbo said walking around the table. Thorin turned in his chair to the side. Bilbo stopped in front of him.

For a second, Thorin didn't breathe, always surprised now that he was allowed close to Bilbo. When he didn't make a move, Bilbo reached for his hand and placed it on his belly.

"He's a little sluggish. I think our talking has lulled him almost to sleep." True to Bilbo's word, after a few moments he felt a slow movement, as if the babe was resettling into position from being jostled by Bilbo's movement. It spurred him to place his other hand on Bilbo's other side.

The baby did not move again after several moments. Thorin looked up at Bilbo. "He is alright?"

Bilbo smiled. "He's fine. He just needs some stimuli. Talk to him. I bet your deep voice rouses him."

"What do I say?" Thorin asked.

Bilbo huffed a small chuckle. "Anything. Hobbits believe children hear everything you tell them in the womb. Say hello. Introduce yourself. I tell him stories. Or better yet," Bilbo said with a bit of excitement, "speak to him in Khuzdul. He's not heard any yet." Bilbo looked at Thorin expectantly.

Thorin took a moment to think, then leaned in closer. He started speaking, his tone soft. His words came slowly at first, but as he spoke, they became stronger. After a couple sentences, he stuttered when they felt the babe move but he didn't stop speaking. He only pressed his hands more firmly against Bilbo.

He spoke for a couple of minutes, the babe moving a few more times, almost as if in response to what Thorin was saying. It made Bilbo curious. When Thorin stopped speaking, he asked "What did you tell him?"

"I said that one day I will tell him the story of how his father braved the unknown to help a mere handful of dwarrows take back their home and fought valiantly so that they might live."

Bilbo was speechless for a moment. "You should come again and tell him. He'll come to recognize your voice. When he's born, he'll hear you and know you."

Thorin looked up at Bilbo. He felt like all of his emotions were shining in his eyes. He wondered if Bilbo could see them. "I will. Thank you for allowing me this." 


	15. I'm dead serious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait! I kinda feel like a lot of this is rehash of things we already know but I couldn't get it out another way. I suck. But have a chapter.

Bilbo sat alone in the kitchen after Thorin saw himself out. One hand was resting against his belly, the other curled around his tea cup. He was staring at nothing in particular. It was as if he could still feel the warmth of Thorin's hands imprinted on his belly. It hadn't been a direct touch, but as soon as Thorin had touched him, something in him had unclenched, like a muscle he hadn't known he was tensing relaxed. He had tried explaining it and he knew it would happen, but to feel it…

He had not forseen that he would have such a visceral reaction. He said he had forgiven Thorin and he believed he had, though that hadn't stopped the occasional nightmare. But this was something... He didn't know what.

He shook his head. He was still coming to grips with the fact that he was in the mountain, actually living amongst the dwarves now.

He thought about Kili's surprise at his mundane morning activity. It was true that the dwarves had never seen him in his home element. Of course his daily routine would seem abnormal to a dwarf, and a royal one at that, however displaced he may have been. He huffed with indignation that his boys had never really had the kind of creature comfort which to him was the kind of comfort everyone should have. In light of that, it made sense that they had been confounded by his "soft hobbit sensibilities".  

Well, he decided, he would have to do what he could to give them what comfort his soft hobbit sensibilities could bring. He would have liked to be the one to make his family meals, but it was impractical given how gravid he was. The babe was beginning to tax his energy levels and that wasn't going to get better anytime soon. Besides, the dwarves already had an established routine of shared meals. He could contribute in small amounts, like baked goods and certain dishes he knew they would not prepare. But if anybody stopped by in time for the hobbit meals that weren't standard to the dwarven diet, he would be sure to fed them up right and proper.

That decided, he walked to the bedroom considering Thorin's quiet demeanor when talking to their unborn child. It had seemed surprising but then it really was not upon consideration. It had been one of the things that had made him fall for Thorin, that hidden gentleness. He'd seen it first with how Thorin treated his nephews in moments when he wasn't required to be their king and could just be their uncle.

He smiled thinking of when he'd made mention of it the first time. Thorin had vehemently denied that any part of him was gentle, but then he'd gone on to carefully enfold Bilbo in his arms and whisper endearments into his ear. Oh yes, Thorin could be gentle. It had given him a warm flush of happiness to see it again.

Bilbo gathered paper and quill. He sat down in his great room to write out his growing list from memory. If the boys did take him to the market, he wanted to be prepared. If he was going to stay, he was going to make his little habitat the way he wanted it. He felt like he needed every little psychological comfort he could gather to himself.

When he was done with his list, he began sketching out his ideas for the garden given the season, the altitude and the amount of upkeep it would take considering he wouldn't be able to keep it up alone for much longer. He also took stock of his pantry. His little baking spree had put a bit of a dent in his baking supplies. He knew that the expectant mother nesting instincts were starting to emerge in him and for a hobbit, that included the culinary arts.

He'd run through his list twice when there was a knock on the door. He was pleasantly surprised to open it and find a smiling Bofur.

"Come in! Come in! I didn't expect to see you again so soon," he said cheerfully.

"Good morning," Bofur said before pulling Bilbo into a hug. Bofur wasn't that much taller than Bilbo, but like all of the dwarves, he was stouter, which made Bilbo feel smaller with his slighter frame. But it was alright being smaller when wrapped up in Bofur's warmth and the crisp scent of the soap that Bofur seemed to prefer. It was like a feeling of friendship and security and everything that was Bofur all conveyed in one sensory experience. Bilbo smiled. He'd really missed that feeling.

"I'm so glad you're back," Bofur said, giving Bilbo a tighter squeeze before he released him.

"Me too. I was about to make myself a cup of tea. Would you like one?"

"Sure," Bofur said, following Bilbo to the kitchen.

Bilbo just knew he was going to be spending a lot of time in this room as he filled the tea pot. He put a piece of his saved pie on a plate to serve Bofur, smiling to himself about his earlier resolution.

"I didn't expect you so soon.  I thought you would be engaged in mining affairs," he said laying out the tea cups.

"We wrapped up the assessment on the tunnel we were explorin' this morning. I always take a couple days off after that to rest up. It's tough work going into some of the damaged mines. You never know what you're gonna find."

"So do you enjoy it, mining again?" Bilbo asked laying cups on the table.

"Aye, I like it well enough. Family's been miners for generations. Bom never took to it, but I had the knack. It's come right handy seeing as we needed experienced men to get the mines working again."

"And how has that gone?"

"Better than we originally expected. Smaug set his big ass down pretty quick on the treasure so there wasn't too much damage, mostly just from his initial attack and from our bit of running around. Which proved good for us since it didn't take much to get 'er back into business!"

"So wealthy retirement wasn't for you then?" Bilbo asked with a small smirk. He honestly couldn't imagine a retired Bofur.

"Nope," Bofur said with a cheeky smile. "You know me, gotta keep my hands busy. And they really needed every pair they could get, so..." He shrugged. He'd never really been one for long term plans, as long as he had enough work to care for his family, he'd been satisfied.

"Will you keep mining then? What about carving and toy making?" Bilbo knew they were Bofur's favorite hobbies.

"Oh, I still do a bit but carving in Erebor is more about stone work and there aren't many kids around, at least not yet. I think Erebor needs a miner more than she needs a toy maker right now anyway."

Bilbo hummed noncommittally as he sat and poured the tea. Thorin's company had been very committed to regaining Erebor. It made sense they were just as committed to restoring it.

"Bilbo," Bofur began hesitantly. "I want to know about you. Do you really want to be here?"

Bilbo looked up at Bofur. He could tell Bofur was searching for the right words to express his worry.

"It's not that I'm not glad you're back, I really am. But they found you when you were trying not to be found."

Bilbo took a deep breath. Of course Bofur would just jump right in, asking the hard questions. He would not be afraid of asking them.

"Yes. I do. I had intended to stay before... before everything happened. But then after, I thought you all didn't want me. No one came to find me. No one asked me to stay."

"Aye, not at first," Bofur said softly. "It wasn't until afterwards, after the battle fury had died, when we looked around at the wounded and the dead did our minds begin to clear. It took some time for it to fade. We thought you had betrayed us. Some of us were angry. Some of us were just hurt." Bofur looked down at the table. He couldn't deny that he had felt the same.

"And by the time we looked up to find you, you were gone," he said sadly.

"I was hurting too," said Bilbo quietly. "And the other dwarves looked at me none too kindly so I didn't know if I was truly safe staying in the dwarf camp. So I left. But then Balin and Oin found me and they said you wanted me."

Bofur reached out and clasped Bilbo's hand on the table. "We do, lad. We want you here, safe... with us."

"I know I'm safe with you, with all of you. But I still worry about everyone else."

"No one would hurt you," Bofur began.

"I know. I know you wouldn't. But there's something you have to understand..." Bilbo paused trying to put his thoughts together.

"I only told Oin and Balin, but long ago when it was more common for hobbit males to bear young, other peoples thought it was... unnatural. We were chased from some places, back in our wandering days," Bilbo said gesturing nervously. "Sometimes, they came to harm."

Bofur watched Bilbo with surprise, waiting for him to continue.

"So they teach us as children to be careful, to not leave the Shire, to not live among other peoples because we aren't safe among them, especially male child-bearers. It's ingrained into us... deeply. I didn’t know it would affect me so much."

"They taught you to be afraid," Bofur said with some astonishment.

Bilbo smiled sadly. "Yes they did."

"Were you afraid of us?" Bofur asked, his eyebrows furrowed with worry.

“Maybe a little,” Bilbo admitted, “in the beginning. But I trusted Gandalf and he trusted you. As I got to know you, I knew I didn’t have to be afraid of you.”

“And when we…” Bilbo knew acknowledging that dark time was just as hard for Bofur as it was for him.

“That wasn’t you. I was afraid of what the madness was doing to you, what it was making you do,” Bilbo assured him. Bofur reached across the table and took Bilbo’s hand.

“But yer still afraid,” Bofur said.

“Yes. I’m afraid because I don’t know what’s going to happen with my pregnancy. I’m afraid because I don’t know if other peoples are going to be accepting of what I am. And I’m afraid because I don’t know if other dwarves are going to be accepting of me because of what I did. It’s a lot of fear to deal with sometimes.”

Bofur squeezed Bilbo’s hand. “You don’t have to be afraid. We’ll do everything we can to keep you safe.”

Bilbo smiled. “I know you will. See, after everything that happened us, when a male was expecting, his family would surround him and protect him. Now things like tactile affirmation, like this," Bilbo said turning Bofur's hand over, "is a physical need I have as a hobbit. That's just the way we are. I've seen the way you dwarves slap each other on the back and bang foreheads, so I know you can understand that. The need to be with my family, for them to protect me, I don't know if that's physical or just psychological, but I need it just the same."

Bilbo paused letting Bofur digest what he'd said. "That's not the only reason I came back. You are my family and I wanted to come home."

Bofur squeezed Bilbo's hand and nodded. He couldn't trust himself to speak for a moment.

"So," Bilbo continued, "when I ask you to bring your mattock to the waiting when the birth begins, you'll understand why."

Bofur eyebrows jumped with incredulity. "You'd be that literal?"

"Yes... quite literal," Bilbo said with a straight face.

"Then you have my word. I'll bring my mattock and I'll protect you with all I have in me," Bofur swore solemnly. 

Bilbo smiled. Moment by moment, it was getting better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know what I just noticed? Thorin didn't get special pie. Huh.


	16. Normalization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everybody's becoming very comfortable quite quickly, don't you think?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the interminable wait! The holidays were super amazing busy! But have some Bilbo In The Mountain - Day 2 fluff.

Bofur stayed for some time, past afternoon tea, talking with Bilbo. Bofur told him stories about reopening the mines and about some of the dwarves he was working with. Their talk ranged topics until they came back to the pregnancy.

“No, I really do hope it’s a boy,” Bilbo said sipping his tea. “What do I know about raising a girl? A boy would just seem easier.”

“And if it is a girl?” Bofur asked.

“Well then, I’m sure the term ‘spoiled rotten’ will be taken to new heights by all of you.” Bilbo smiled at the idea of a tiny baby girl held by large dwarvish arms. "She’d probably never learn to walk on her own two feet.”

While they chuckled, Kili stumbled in. “I’m sorry Bilbo! I got caught up in what I was working on and I lost track of the time!”

Bilbo smiled and waved Kili towards a chair. “It’s alright. I’m sure the market will be there tomorrow. Bofur’s been keeping me entertained all afternoon anyway. Did you get your work done?”

“Well… mostly…” Kili drawled out not sure if he wanted to share what he’d been doing just yet.

“Have you been working all morning? Did you even stop for lunch?” Bilbo asked.

“I... had a snack?” Kili said hesitantly as Bilbo rose to his feet.  He turned to watch Bilbo pad over to the pantry. “I’m fine though. You don’t need to trouble yourself.”

“It’s no trouble. You’re a growing boy. You shouldn’t skip meals.”

Bofur leaned towards Kili and whispered. “Just let him. I think it makes him feel better."

“You’re not as quiet as you think you are, Bofur,” Bilbo said setting down a plate in front of Kili.  “It’s not much anyway. Just enough to tide you over until dinner.”

Kili looked down at the cheese cubes, sliced pear and muffin Bilbo had given him. It seemed just right. He smiled back up at Bilbo. “Thank you.”

“Tea or water?” Bilbo asked.

“Ale?” Kili asked hopefully.

“Not until dinner,” he replied, slipping Kili a glass of water.

“You tried,” Bofur shrugged with a chuckle.

By the time dinner rolled around, Bilbo's cheeks hurt from smiling and laughing so much from the combined antics of Bofur and Kili. He'd had to pause several times while he was cooking to wipe the laugh tears away.

Dinner in the company's dining room was pleasant. Conversation flowed freely and Bilbo happily took part in the banter. He sat several seats down from Thorin who presided at the head of the table, which was fine as he still felt a little unsure of how to proceed after the morning's happenings.

After dinner, Bilbo retired to his rooms accompanied by Fili and Kili. Bofur had returned to his rooms to retrieve a carving piece he was working on before joining them. They sat and conversed, laughing while Bofur whittled and Bilbo sewed.

The boys tried to improvise a game board and pieces for a Shire game Bilbo described but there weren't enough buttons in his sewing kit and he refused to let them use biscuits as game pieces.

Ori stopped by to chat and was very interested in Bilbo's sewing project, which was a tiny sleeping gown. They compared notes on materials. Ori recommended a vendor with varied supplies he had found in the market. He left after a short while.

It felt so natural that Bilbo didn’t feel the time passing.  He was a little taken aback when Bofur rose to leave. He pat Bilbo on the shoulder as he wished him goodnight. Fili and Kili sat in front of the fire close to Bilbo watching him silently.

“What?” he asked.

"Nothing,” Kili replied.

“It’s just nice, is all,” said Fili.

“What is?” Bilbo asked, packing away his supplies. It was getting late.

“Sitting here. It’s like a having family again.”

Bilbo could sympathize with the sentiment. Offhand, he would have said ‘but you never really lost yours,’ but he didn’t think making comparisons was fair. He’d learned that lesson with Bofur already.

“We left Amad about a year ago.” Fili continued, looking into the fire. “And even before then, it was different… after Adad died. Amad always kept busy. She never seemed to just sit still, never took a moment of leisure.”

There was a few moments of silence.

“And then we lost Uncle,” said Kili sadly.

Fili hummed in agreement. “We didn’t notice it at first,” he said. “But then he was so… changed. It wasn’t him at all.”

Bilbo’s heart clenched, for his own sense of loss and for theirs. He felt they were very young to have gone through so much. It tore at his heart for their sakes.

“It took him longest to be free of it,” Kili murmured. “We were afraid he might not…”

“But he did,” Bilbo gently but firmly cut in. “He did and he’ll always fight it now. I… I know he will.”

“How can you be sure?” Kili asked softly.

Bilbo gathered his thoughts for a moment. “I think it took him so strongly because he was so intent on making a better life for you both, for your mother, for your people. Gold wasn’t just wealth or power in the sense it had been for his grandfather. It meant life to him, an easier, healthier, better life. To have seen so much suffering and be powerless in the face of it… The gold meant never having to be that powerless to help again. And I think that’s why it preyed upon him so strongly, so quickly.”

There was silence while they all pondered that.

“But he sees now what it cost, I think. He won’t fall prey to it again,” said Fili.

“Yes. That’s what I think too,” confirmed Bilbo. “Especially after he realized he could have lost you two. He loves you very much. You are like his own sons.”

Kili reached over and laid his hand on Bilbo’s belly. “And now he will really have a son of his own,” he said solemnly.

Bilbo smiled softly. “Silly dwarf. Having another child doesn’t mean you love the other ones any less. I think you’ll find he will love you all the more because of it.”

Fili and Kili smirked back. “Silly hobbit,” Fili said with a chuckle.

“If we’re all Thorin’s sons, can we call him brother?” Kili questioned.

Bilbo bit his lip to keep from making a sound but that didn't stop his eyes from tearing up. How many times in his own childhood had he wished for a sibling? More times than he could count. Bilbo braced Kili's outstretched arm.

"I think we'd both like that, very much. Boy or girl, a child would be lucky to have older brothers."

Fili and Kili gave Bilbo wide, bright smiles. He could only imagine the mischief they would eventually all get up to, but it would be worth it.

Bilbo stood slowly. "Come now. I think it's time we all got to bed. I'm sure you have an early morning tomorrow."

"Tomorrow and every day," Kili complained as he stood. He gave Bilbo a tight hug before moving to the door.

Fili hugged Bilbo. Before he let him go, he said, "You keep him safe too. He knows what he's lost and he doesn't want to lose any more."

Bilbo nodded as Fili let him go. He followed them to the door.

"Don't forget to bolt it!" Kili yelled back as he exited.

Bilbo laughed as he closed and bolted the door. He turned and leaned against it. He let go of his control and the laugh turned into a sob. What Fili had said had struck a nerve. Thorin wasn't the only one who had lost something.

He gathered his things to put away and went about preparing for bed.

Fili and Kili saw the light under Thorin’s door. Fili knocked before they entered into Thorin’s sitting room, not waiting for his acknowledgement. He looked up from his desktop and glowered at them.

"You're supposed to wait until I say ‘come in’."

"But you are going to say 'come in' so why bother waiting?" Fili reasoned.

Thorin sighed dramatically. "What is it?"

"You didn't come to Bilbo’s room after dinner," Kili said.

Thorin fiddled with his quill. "Yes, well, I had much work waiting for me."

“It probably could’ve waited a little while longer,” said Fili.

Thorin hummed non-committedly. “And how was Bilbo this evening?”

“Good. It was nice. Very relaxing.”

“You should give it a try,” suggested Kili.

“Relaxing?” asked Thorin.

“Yes, and sitting with Bilbo in the evenings,” said Fili.

“He probably is not comfortable in my presence.”

“And he won’t be if you’re never around for him to get used to again,” said Kili.

“Shouldn’t you two be turning in?” Thorin asked gruffly.

“Don’t worry, Bilbo’s already sent us to bed,” said Kili moving to Thorin’s side. When Thorin looked up, Kili quickly bashed their foreheads together. Thorin growled at the unexpected gesture as Kili skipped away laughing. “Love you, Uncle!”

Fili stepped in behind Kili and gently pressed his forehead against Thorin’s. Thorin gave him a little half smile to show he wasn’t really annoyed.

“Good night, Uncle,” Fili said before turning to follow Kili out.

As the door softly snicked closed, Thorin paused to enjoy the warmth spreading in his chest. It had been one day and he could see that having Bilbo back had freed a little something in his boys. Hobbits and their emotions!  He used to think them frivolous and troublesome, but he might could do with more of these kinds of emotions. He put his hand absent-mindedly over his heart and rubbed a few small circles before he turned back to his work.

Bilbo snuggled down into his bedding thinking that his second day had not been bad at all. He fell asleep quickly, warm and content.

 


	17. To market

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo finally gets to check out the dwarven market.

Bilbo woke up in time to join the communal breakfast. Amid the clattering of utensils, he asked Fili if they were busy all morning.

"We have a council meeting that Kili and I are required to attend. It should end by lunch time."

"I was wondering if you would have time to take me to the market today."

"We should be free by lunch,” Fili responded.

Thorin, who was listening in, leaned towards Fili. “You can leave after the morning briefing. I will excuse you from today’s guild negotiations.”

Bilbo turned to Thorin to protest. “I don’t mean to distract them from important work…”

Thorin held up his hand. “There will still be plenty more negotiations that they can sit through. One day will not harm anything.”

Bilbo nodded. “Thank you.”

Kili hissed a triumphant “yesssss!”

Thorin gave the boys a warning glance. “Do try to comport yourselves as the princes you are.”

Both Fili and Kili responded with a humble, “yes, Uncle.” But as soon as Thorin glanced down at his plate again, the boys shot each other smug looks.

Fili and Kili came to collect Bilbo just after second breakfast. It wasn’t too lengthy a walk to the market. Many dwarves bowed their heads to the princes as they walked past. They returned greetings politely if they were addressed directly. They kept up a near constant chatter explaining the layout of the market.

Bilbo requested they visit the food merchants first. The earlier you got there, he explained, the better goods you could find. When he found a merchant with goods of a quality he found acceptable, he selected his merchandise and haggled a price. Having grown up in Hobbiton where half the fun of shopping was the haggling, he found he could talk the merchant into a fair deal. Granted, being accompanied by the princes probably helped as well. When it came time to pay, Bilbo hesitantly pulled out his ring. He looked uncertainly at Fili, who reached over and took it from his hand to show it to the merchant.

“Don’t worry, Bilbo. All of the merchants accept it.” The merchant quickly wrote out a bill of goods and dropped a blob of wax at the bottom. “Impress the wax firmly,” Fili demonstrated before handing Bilbo the ring back. “They will give you a receipt.” Fili handed the small slip of paper to Bilbo.

“It’s a very handy system,” Bilbo noted as the merchant passed over the wrapped goods. He had used personal seals like this before on legal documents, but not as a payment method. It was rather novel. Kili took Bilbo’s basket as they continued on. Bilbo spoke to several merchants about the possibility of finding seeds and plants, gathering contact names.

They sampled some of the pastries and sweets being sold as they meandered about. They stopped at several booths, purchasing small things on Bilbo’s list. Hobbits enjoy finely made things, so he was having a fun time looking around. If some dwarves looked at him askance, he ignored it. He remembered how odd he seemed to his own company of dwarves in the beginning. He couldn’t fault any others for thinking the same.

After some looking around, they were able to find the merchant that Ori had recommended. Bilbo took some time examining and selecting fabrics and notions. By the time he was ready to pay, the boys had wandered off to nearby stands. He tucked his items into his left arm and trailed off after them.

He passed by a stand of blown glass and stopped to admire the pieces. There were all kinds of items: bottles, vases, bowls as well as ornaments. Bilbo thought it a statement on the optimism of the dwarves that they were already producing items of beauty and not just utilitarian items.

He examined several of the smaller pieces, touching them reverently as they lay on the table. He was thinking of purchasing one shaped like a flower for its brilliant red color. He hadn’t noticed the merchant in the booth next to him eyeing him suspiciously.

“You’ve not got the look of a dwarf,” the merchant said roughly. “What’re you?”

Bilbo’s finger stilled on the piece he’d been admiring. “I’m a hobbit,” he answered looking up at the dwarf.

“Only hobbit I’ve ever heard of round here is the Thief of Erebor,” the dwarf asked staring consideringly at Bilbo. “Are you him then?”

“Thief of Erebor?” the glass merchant asked.

“Aye. They say he stole from the king’s treasure and betrayed the king.”

Both dwarves turned to Bilbo. Their eyes flicked down to his finger still on the glass decoration. He took a breath to say something, but before he could, the glass merchant asked, “what’s a hobbit then?”

“Beings from the west. They’re small and fat... and beardless,” the rough merchant spat. “Look at him. He has to be the one. If I were you, I’d keep an eye on his grubby fingers.”

At the implication that his fingers were grubby and of questionable integrity, Bilbo became indignant. He drew himself up to his full height and shifted the goods in his left arm so they were more secure. “Now see here...” he began.

“If he is a thief, maybe we should hold him and call the guard,” the glass merchant said. “Do you think he’s wanted?”

“Good idea,” said the rough merchant. Before Bilbo realized what he was doing, the dwarf had reached across the table and grabbed his free hand by the wrist. Bilbo was shocked still for a moment before he began twisting his arm trying to break free.

“What are you doing? Let go of me!” He dug his feet in and leaned back trying to pull away, but the dwarf’s grip was strong.

“Unhand me!” he demanded. He really didn’t know what else to say to refute the dwarf’s accusations. Had he stolen from the king? Yes, he had. Had he betrayed him? Had he ever. But he didn’t think these two fellows were going to stop and listen to the justifications of his actions.

He broke from his thoughts when he was jerked forward. He dropped his packages, using that hand to brace himself against the table. It fleetingly crossed his mind that if he wanted to, this dwarf could easily snap his wrist or throw him down.

“Call the guards. They’ll know if he’s wanted. Probably been hiding out all this time waiting for a chance for more.”

Bilbo almost wanted to laugh because the dwarf didn’t know how how right he was, just not like he was thinking.

“See here, if I was a wanted thief, I wouldn’t be strolling around in broad daylight making purchases!” Bilbo said, still struggling to free himself.

“Bilbo!”

“Release him!”

Bilbo was relieved when he heard Kili and Fili storm up.

“Your highnesses!” Bilbo heard the glass merchant acknowledge the princes with surprise.

“What’s going on here?” Fili demanded.

“We believe this… one to be a wanted thief,” said the rough merchant, pulling on Bilbo’s arm.

“This one, as you call him, is Bilbo Baggins of the Company of Thorin Oakenshield, the king. He is not some petty thief,” Fili explained with that same anger barely contained, not to be argued with tone often employed by Thorin. “Release him immediately.”

The rough merchant gave Bilbo a look of disdain before letting go of his arm. Bilbo stumbled back away from the table, out of reach. He was a jumble of emotions, mostly anger and fear. He didn’t want to look at the two dwarves, but he wasn’t about to look down and appear to be cowed. He settled for staring behind them defiantly instead.

“Has he done anything to warrant your suspicions?” Fili asked, his voice more calm now that Bilbo was free. “Is any of your merchandise missing?”

“No, your highness,” the glass merchant replied. Fili looked at the other merchant before receiving a reluctant ‘no’.

“Then you will accept my vouching for Master Baggins. If you have any complaint against him, I suggest you take it up directly with the king,” Fili said. He nodded at Kili and they quickly picked up Bilbo’s packages. He gave the merchants one last considering look before wishing them good day. He put his hand on Bilbo’s back gently guiding him away.

Fili lead them around a corner, out of sight before he stopped and turned to Bilbo.

“Are you alright?” Fili reached and carefully pulled up Bilbo’s hand to examine him. His wrist was red and Bilbo flinched when he touched it.

"I'm fine," he tried to assure Fili. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing,” Kili said. “He hurt you!”

“It’s not broken,” Bilbo said.

“We should have Oin take a look at it, regardless,” Fili said, putting his arm around Bilbo’s shoulders and leading them away. They were silent on the walk to Oin’s infirmary.

Oin tutted over the arm and made Bilbo sit and soak the wrist in a mixture of salts and herbs. “It’s just sprained. This’ll keep it from swelling. You just sit here a bit,” he said before he walked off to yell at one of his helpers.

“What happened?” Fili finally asked.

Bilbo blew out a breath. "I expected some of that when I came back. He knew about me. Thief of Erebor, he said. They called me that when I was recognized in camp until I could blend in enough to go unnoticed."

“But why were they trying to hold you?” Kili asked.

Bilbo shrugged. “They only knew I was a thief. They didn’t know the whole story. They thought I might still be wanted. They were going to call the guard.”

He looked up at them. That hadn’t helped. They were still angry. He didn’t want to make light of the situation or brush it off since it had been exactly the kind of thing he had feared, but he didn’t want them angry over him either.

“It would have worked itself out when the guards came,” he said.

“Would it?” Fili asked thoughtfully.

Bilbo shrugged. "There are consequences to stealing the King's Jewel. I know that."

"Not this again..." Kili said.

Fili put his hand on Kili's arm to quiet him. "We won’t argue with you about that again. But we will talk to Uncle about this."

Bilbo gave them a small nod.  He would defer to their judgment. He was impressed with how Fili had handled the situation. "I can see all of those prince lessons are paying off."

"You should tell Uncle or Balin that. I don't think they see it." They laughed, some of their tension easing a bit.

“I got what I wanted,” Bilbo said, trying to move on to another topic. “Now I can see about sending some inquiries. I think I can get the rest from Dale.”

“Alright, but when you need to go back to the market, one of us will go with you and stay with you,” Kili said.

Bilbo nodded. It was probably for the best, for now.

After Oin had wrapped his wrist in a bandage and released him, they escorted Bilbo back to their hall. As they laid his packages on the dining table, he asked "you will stay for lunch, won't you?"

Not that they would have refused on any account, but Bilbo's quiet demeanor on the walk back had them accepting quickly. He had them sit while he padded around the kitchen, stoking the stove and assembling a quick meal. He could see them talking, almost whispering to each other, probably about what had happened but he wasn't bothered by it. It was restoring his equilibrium having them here in his space.

They chatted lightly as they ate. Bilbo told them how he'd like to send some letters, inquiries about getting the things he needed. They explained the mail and courier system to him, adding that they'd collect his letters when he was ready.

As Bilbo picked up the dishes, he shooed them back to their duties. They found Thorin in his offices consulting Balin over several lists. When Thorin looked up at them, he could tell by their expressions that something of a serious nature had occurred.

“What’s happened?” he asked. They told the story as Bilbo had told them, adding their observations. “Do you think they would have hurt him further?”

“Yes,” exclaimed Kili.

“He was rough with Bilbo,” Fili said after a moment’s consideration. “I don’t think they realized that he is expecting. To be fair, who would have? And Bilbo is not as sturdy as a dwarf. It would not have been safe.”

Thorin sat back in his chair. “The problem is the rumors. No one knows the truth of it.”

"Not the full truth of it,” said Balin.

“Or how we feel about it,” said Kili.

“If they knew who he was, what he's done for Erebor, they would not have harassed him. They would not have dared.”

“So we’ve got to make it known,” said Fili. “To protect him.”

Balin looked at Thorin. He could see they were both thinking the same thing. “We’re going to have to officially present him at court. Then you can make a pronouncement about him and his involvement in reclaiming Erebor. His identity and his status will become common knowledge."

“He’s going to hate it,” Thorin said, running his hand over his face.

“Aye, he will. But it has to be done. I’ll speak with Nori and see which way the wind is blowing. Then we can decide what tact we’ll need to take,” said Balin.

"Dis should arrive soon. We will be able to consult her as well. She has more skill with dealing with the court. We've just been lucky many of the old noble families have not returned yet. They might disagree with the status I intend to give him."

Thorin grew silent thinking of all the nobles his father and grandfather had had to deal with. A lot of them had entrenched themselves elsewhere as soon as they were able. Many of those who could have helped their people during their early wandering days had, he felt, abandoned them to preserve what personal wealth they had been able to salvage, leaving the common folk in hardship and poverty.

He grimaced with distaste at the thought of those nobles returning to Erebor when they had left her people to struggle for years until they could build a new life. He did not relish seeing them again after that betrayal. He knew they would argue with his ideas and vision for a new Erebor that strove for the prosperity of all her people. But he was not an untried princeling anymore. He was a king with hard won experience and he would not bow his will to anyone.

He rose, taking the boys with him on his weekly inspection of the mines. This was a new time in Erebor's history. He would not spend his time wallowing in his wealth like his grandfather. He would make sure that he and his heirs were well versed in all of the happenings of their mountain, even if they did whinge about it.

Bilbo spent his afternoon in his apartment. After he had readied his letters, he worked some on his sewing projects, laying out and cutting material. He hummed as he sat on the couch, hemming lengths of soft, absorbent cloth for diapers. His mind wandered about. He thought of all of the crafts he'd seen at market, the varieties of foods available. He tried to keep from dwelling on the incident but eventually, his mind would circle back to it.

After a few attempts, he finally just gave in and sat thinking about it. He'd been more angry than afraid but he had been afraid. He hadn't thought it would become physical. He had been lucky the princes had been there to vouch for him. He didn’t want to dwell on what could have happened. He pushed it to the back of his mind again and continued what he was doing.

It was Ori who came to escort him to dinner. There had been a minor incident with one of the mines. With half of the rowdy members away, dinner began as a quiet affair. It didn't last long when the other dwarves came roaring in abuzz with the news of a minor tunnel collapse. No major damage had been done but they were debating whether resources should be used to restore the potentially profitable mine now or to put it on hold and spend their resources on more stable mines.

Fili sat in the open seat next to him, giving him a questioning look. Bilbo smiled back and passed him a platter. He was fine and he didn’t want them worrying over his state of mind. He did notice Thorin looking over at him several times over the course of the meal, but he was deep in conversation with Balin and Bofur.

After dinner, several of the dwarves retreated with Thorin. Bilbo supposed they still had much to discuss. He felt a little forlorn as he walked back to his room alone. He reminded himself that it had only been a couple of days ago that he spent every night alone. He shouldn’t expect too much. Everyone else had their responsibilities.

He sat alone in his living area, sometimes sewing, sometimes staring at the dwindling firelight. After awhile, he sighed and put his sewing away. No visitors seemed forthcoming. He didn’t want to give himself the expectation that someone would be with him all the time. He had lived a fair portion of his life alone. This was no different.

As he walked to his bedroom, he smoothed his tunic over his belly. “Except for you my darling,” he said out loud. “Once you’re here, you’ll change everything.”

Thorin’s mining council ran late into the evening. When they finally dismissed, Fili and Kili hurried back to their hall. They tried Bilbo’s door but were disappointed to find it locked.

“I expect he turned in early,” Thorin said walking up behind them. “You should turn in as well. We’ve an early start tomorrow.” They turned towards their own room with a quiet ‘good night’.

Thorin readied himself for bed. He had also wanted to check on Bilbo before retiring. He just wasn’t sure how to make it seem casual. He felt an incessant need to make sure Bilbo was well but he didn’t want to become bothersome. He cleared his mind for sleep as best he could.

He didn’t know right away what had awoken him. It was dark. The fire in the fireplace had died down. He didn’t sense any presence in his room. He sat up, lighting the candle at his bedside when he heard it, a small cry through the adjoining door. He had his ear pressed against it in an instant. He could hear Bilbo speaking. Was he still sleeping? He listened. Bilbo was getting louder. He could make out some of the words. He was saying no repeatedly.

Thorin wasn’t sure what he should do. He wanted to be by Bilbo’s side right now, to make sure he was okay. He could easily go through the adjoining door, which wasn’t locked against him but how would he explain his presence in Bilbo’s room? He waited. Surely Bilbo would wake himself up. He heard a crash and before he realized, he was pushing through the tapestry on Bilbo’s side of the door.

He looked around, shining his candle around the darkened room. There was no one. He turned to Bilbo. He was restless, tossing and turning. He spoke, “stay back… don’t come any nearer…” but his eyes were closed. Thorin knew the signs of a bad nightmare. He walked up to the bed carefully, seeing broken glass on the floor. The bedside water set had been knocked over.

“Bilbo, wake up,” he said. He waited for a response but only heard Bilbo murmuring “I didn’t. I found it.”  

“Wake up,” he said louder but Bilbo still did not awaken. He set his candle down on the night stand. He didn’t want to frighten Bilbo, but he didn’t want him stuck in the nightmare either.

“Bilbo, it’s alright. Wake up. Wake up, Bilbo,” he repeated gently shaking Bilbo’s shoulder. Bilbo awoke with a shout, jerking back from Thorin’s hand. “It alright, Bilbo. It’s just me,” he said softly. “You were having a nightmare.” He paused looking at Bilbo’s startled face. “You were crying out,” he explained. Bilbo looked at him with wide eyes for a couple moments before he sat up.

“Sorry… sorry” he said, his voice cracking.

“Wait a moment,” Thorin said disappearing into the bathing room. He returned with a cup of water and a towel. “Here, drink this,” he said, handing the cup to Bilbo. While he drank, Thorin used the towel to sweep up the wet glass. “Be careful when you get out of bed.” He put the rolled up towel on the dresser. Dori’s people would handle it in the morning.  He stood by the bed awkwardly. “Was it because of yesterday’s events?”

Bilbo nodded, wiping the sweat off his brow. “I think it was."

"I’ll leave you then,” Thorin said reluctantly. Bilbo was awake now and though he wanted to stay, he didn’t think Bilbo would want him to linger. He turned toward the bedroom door. He knew he couldn’t return through the adjoining one without giving himself away.

“Wait!” Bilbo exclaimed. Thorin turned to see a look of mild panic on Bilbo’s face. Bilbo’s mind raced. What he needed, what he wanted was for Thorin to hold him and comfort him. But he couldn’t ask for that. He didn’t think Thorin would stay for him. He could hear his heartbeat still pounding in his ears.

“It’s alright. Tell me what you need,” Thorin said softly, walking back to the bedside.

“The… the baby,” he floundered, still short of breath.

“Is he alright? Shall I call for Oin?” Thorin asked worriedly.

Bilbo shook his head. “No, no. I… I need you to… to calm him.” He reached over and grabbed Thorin’s hand, pulling him closer. “I… I’ve frightened him,” he said, placing Thorin’s hand on his belly. They could both feel the baby’s restless movements. Bilbo swallowed thickly. “My heartbeat… it’s too fast. It’s frightening him.”

“What should I do?”

“Stay, please. For a little bit. Just until we calm down.” Bilbo tried to steady his voice. Thorin nodded. He was leaning over the bed. It didn’t look comfortable. “Here,” Bilbo said scooting over a little. “Lay down with me… just for a bit.” He kept hold of Thorin’s hand as they settled facing each other, then held it against his belly. He closed his eyes, concentrated on breathing and slowing his heart.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Thorin asked after a few moments.

Bilbo opened his eyes, but kept them downcast. “I was back… under Goblin Town. The creature, the thing I saw there, he was after me. He said I was a thief, that I stole the ring, but I didn’t. I found it.” Bilbo closed his eyes. He could still hear Gollum screeching ‘thief' as he had run away.

"He's long gone," Thorin said. "You're safe here." Thorin suspected that being called thief in the marketplace had triggered Bilbo's nightmare. "Do you have bad dreams often?"

"Less now."

Thorin hurt for Bilbo. He's been through so much in the past year, so many harrowing experiences that he hadn't been prepared for. It was amazing that he wasn't more traumatized. It made him want to reach out and pull Bilbo closer.

"Would you keep talking? Your voice... it's very calming."

Thorin chuckled. "I don't think anyone's ever described it that way before."

“It is to us.” Bilbo loved the deep rumbling tones of Thorin’s voice and when he spoke gently, like he was, it was soothing.

Thorin hummed. It gave him a sense of satisfaction that his voice could have a positive effect on Bilbo, after everything. He just wish he knew what to say to keep talking like Bilbo had asked. Instead, he started humming, dredging up a lullaby from his memory. Slowly, he could tell it was working. Bilbo’s breathing was evening out. Under his hand, the baby had settled.

“That’s lovely,” Bilbo murmured drowsily. “Will you stay until I fall asleep?”

Thorin shushed him and kept humming. Bilbo wiggled a little closer to Thorin, unconsciously Thorin told himself. He didn’t want to read into the situation any when there was nothing to read. He kept humming long after he was sure Bilbo was asleep. He really should leave, he thought, but he stayed, watching the slow rise and fall of Bilbo’s breathing. That was the sound he found calming.

After some time, he slowly extricated himself. He stood for a moment making sure Bilbo was still asleep before slipping back through the adjoining door. He had thought about maybe taking apart Bilbo’s front door lock or maybe making the door look like he had busted in, but that was unreasonable and he didn’t think he could lie to Bilbo about it. If Bilbo asked, he would tell him the truth and whatever happened, if Bilbo was angry about not being told about the adjoining door, he would just have to accept.

He laid back down thinking of the sound of Bilbo’s breathing. He wished he was still there listening to it, but even the dim echo of it in his memory lulled him to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found this [vid](http://youtu.be/y6VknfazRaU) about these natural diapers. Thought it'd probably be just the kind of thing hobbits used. It's what I imagined Bilbo making.


	18. We all feel better

When Bilbo woke up late the next morning, he felt as if something was missing. He lay trying to recall his dreams thinking that would explain it. He remembered part of the nightmare. He remembered Thorin laying with him and humming until he slept, but he honestly couldn't say if that had been real or part of the dream.

It wasn't until he was pulling out fresh clothes that he noticed the balled up towel on the dresser. He started to unroll it but stopped at the first clink of broken glass.

"Huh. I guess your father did sing us to sleep," he said out loud. He dressed and went to his front door. He placed his hand on the bolted door in confusion. "But how did he...?"

He opened the door to see a dwarf, probably not even in his majority, standing across the hall. He straightened and bowed when he he saw Bilbo.

"Knute, at your service... sir!"

"Bilbo Baggins at yours," he replied with amusement. "How can I help you?"

"The king wishes you to know that most of the Company is in council this morning. They have already broken their fast.  If you wish it, I am to lead to you to the kitchens, to the royal cook, Bombur."

"That sounds like a fine idea," Bilbo said, stepping out of his rooms. He followed the lad through the corridors trying to remember his way. He'd only been in the mountain three days and he really hadn't seen much of it.

Bombur greeted him heartily to his domain and promptly sat him down.  Bilbo turned to Knute who had retreated to a wall.

"Thank you for leading me here. I'll not keep you from your duties any longer."

"I'm to stay with you, sir, in case you need anything or to go anywhere."

"Oh, but surely you don't mean to wait around for me all day?" Bilbo said incredulously.

Knute turned to Bombur, unsure of how to respond.

"It's okay, lad. You can wait at that table," Bombur said directing him to a corner. "He's your page, Bilbo. It's his duty to wait for you."

"But that's ridiculous. I don't need anyone waiting for me to go somewhere. That just seems a little wasteful of his time," said Bilbo a little flustered.

Bombur set a loaded plate in front of Bilbo. "With everyone occupied, you'll need someone to show you around until you learn your way. Besides, it's a better position for young Knute. The poor lad has been working as manual labour."

Bombur set a small plate of biscuits in front of Knute, giving him a wink.

"Oh dear. That sounds awful," said Bilbo, looking over a Knute.

"It made me stronger," said Knute, flexing his biceps, mouth full of biscuit.

"I suppose I do need a guide. I can't expect the Company or the princes to be available all the time. They have their work as well."

"There you go. Now tell me about this 'rice casserole' you made the other night," Bombur said returning to his position by the stove.

They fell into chatting about recipies. Young Knute didn't mind the waiting at all, especially when he was served elevensies. He was put to work though, peeling potatoes when Bilbo convinced Bombur to let him help with lunch preparation. It was interesting to Bilbo, the collective serving. It very much reminded him of large Hobbit gatherings. He made a couple of suggestions that Bombur readily considered.

After lunch, Knute guided Bilbo back to his rooms but he insisted on awaiting further instructions out in the hall. After some fussing, Bilbo got him to accept a chair to sit in.

Bilbo went out to his terrace. He was developing the habit that if he was in his rooms, he would leave the terrace doors open during the day. Dwalin had said it was a secure area, so he had no fear.

He checked on his plants, watering some, patting the soil around others to ensure they were well grounded. He wished he had more seeds or seedlings. He remembered his letters. He gathered them and some coin, taking them out to Knute.

Knute was familiar with the mail system. He took the letters and darted off to the postmaster after Bilbo had assured him that he was not going to wander from his rooms.

Bilbo went back outside. There was nothing else he could do except wait. He stood with his face upturned to the sun. It was wonderfully warm and inviting. He would have to see about getting a bench so he could spend more time outside. He started walking back inside but turned back around, taking another look at the sunshine, yearning to stay out longer. He rested his hand in his belly.

"It wouldn't hurt... to lie in the grass for a little bit. No one will see," he said.  He walked out until the grass was a soft cushion under his feet and gently lowered himself to the ground. It felt good to sit in the warmth. He pushed the sleeves of his tunic up, baring his arms and lay back, splaying out his limbs.

"That's better," he mumbled. He could feel the warmth seeping into his bones, warming bare skin. The interior of the mountain wasn't cold per se during the day, but it always seemed just a tad too cool to Bilbo. Bofur had told him it was because the great furnaces hadn't been relit yet. Teams were working to repair the damage Smaug had done on his rampage. It was to be expected. Thorin had taunted the crazed dragon. It had been a bold if not a prudent move.

The great furnaces, he'd been assured, when lit would warm the interior to a comfortable temperature but they were not at that stage yet. So teams of men and dwarves had salvaged wood and beams from the washed up ruins of Lake Town, some to salvage for construction and some for firewood. Trees would be scarce around the mountain for some years to come so some expeditions had floated logs from upriver.

He sighed. "This reminds me of when I was a young faunt hiding from your grandfather by laying on our roof," he said speaking out loud for the babe to hear. "He gave me ever so many chores when it was so much nicer to be out in the sun." He smiled remembering how his mother always convinced his father that he had run off into the forest so there was no use in searching for him to buy him some time.

After some time drowsing to pleasant memories, Bilbo fell asleep. His face was turned out to catch the soft breezes.

Thorin's council finally dismissed just before tea time. Fili and Kili convinced him it would be good to check up on Bilbo and take tea (and biscuits) with him. They found Knute sitting in his chair, whittling. He sprang to his feet when they approached. Thorin gave Knute a disapproving look for sitting down on the job. Fili gave him a knowing smirk.

"He made you take the chair, didn't he?"

"He wouldn't let me refuse it," Knute explained.

Thorin grunted. It was just like Bilbo to try to make everyone comfortable, even if they were technically on duty. "He is inside?" he asked gruffly, knocking.

"Yes, your majesty, since after lunch."

When no answer came, Kili opened the door and walked in. "Bilbo!" he called, walking to the kitchen. He came out with a frown. "Not in there."

Fili walked down the hall checking the other rooms. He came back shaking his head. "He's not anywhere, Uncle."

"Must be outside then," Thorin said walking towards the open doorway. Once outside, it was Kili's sharp eyes that spotted Bilbo first.

"Bilbo!" he yelled in alarm, breaking out into a run.

Thorin grabbed Fili's arm. "Get Oin," he commanded before taking off after Kili. He skid to halt besides Bilbo's still body. Kili was already kneeling on his other side.

"I don't see anything... there's no blood," Kili said, his eyes frantically searching Bilbo's body.

Thorin put his fingers to Bilbo's throat. He could feel the steady pulse and it calmed him somewhat. Bilbo moved his head a little at the touch. He put his hand on Bilbo's face, tapping him gently. "Bilbo, wake up," he said sternly. He had found the injured responded to direct commands. "Wake up, Bilbo."

Bilbo groaned and turned his head away from Thorin's hand. Both he and Kili sighed in relief.

"Come on, I need you to wake up."

"No...shhh..." Bilbo murmured and started to turn onto his side. Thorin caught hold of him and held him still.

"Should we move him inside?" Kili asked.

"No, not yet. We should wait for Oin to examine him first," Thorin said, his hand holding down Bilbo’s shoulder.

"What are you going on about?" Bilbo mumbled, using his other arm to cover his eyes. "Shhh."

"What happened? Do you remember?" Thorin asked.

"Nothing happened," Bilbo grumbled. "Let me go back to sleep."

"No!" both Thorin and Kili shouted.

"Stay awake now," Thorin said, gently tapping Bilbo's face again.

"Stop it," Bilbo batted away Thorin's hand. He yawned and began to blink his eyes.

"That's it, all the way awake," Thorin coaxed.

Bilbo blinked up at Thorin. This was the second time in less than a day he'd unexpectedly been awakened by Thorin. He was a little confused.

"Did something happen? Did I sleep past dinner?" he asked groggily.

Kili laughed and leaned back his heels. "He's alright if he's asking about meals."

Thorin smiled down at Bilbo. "You gave us quite the scare."

"Scare? About what? I was just taking a nap... which you've interrupted." He tried to sit up but couldn't push up against Thorin's hand on his shoulder.

"Perhaps we should wait for Oin," Thorin said, his eyebrows furrowed with uncertainty.

"Oh honestly!" Bilbo huffed relaxing back into the grass. "I was just tired, bad night sleep-wise... which you well know."

Kili looked up at Thorin. Thorin cleared his throat and turned to look back to the doorway. "They should be here in just a moment," he said.

"Why would you lay down out here when you have a nice bed inside? Do you not like it?" asked Kili.

"It's lovely. It's just I was out here and the sun was so warm and delicious. It was awfully inviting."

"Is this something hobbits do regularly?"

"Well... we do like to be outdoors," Bilbo said, evading the fact that it was not very proper for grown hobbits to nap in the sun like fauntlings.

"Hmmm. Perhaps we could find you some furniture, if you plan to do this often," Thorin offered.

"Ooo, a nice chaise. There's an idea," Bilbo said. "Can I get up now?"

"Maybe you should rest for a few more moments," Thorin temporized. Before Bilbo could object, Oin, Fili, Dwalin and Knute thundered over to their position.

"False alarm," Thorin explained. "It was my mistake. He was only sleeping." There was a collective "oh" as everyone remembered what a hard time Bilbo had getting started some mornings. With everyone staring down at him, Bilbo blushed.

"I'm really very sorry. I didn't mean to cause such a stir," he said.

Dwalin grunted. "I'll just..." He flicked his hand left and right. Thorin nodded. Dwalin pushed Knute and began walking away.

Bilbo sighed wearily. "He's checking the perimeter, isn't he?"

"Never you mind that lad. Let's get a look at ye," Oin said dropping his healer knapsack.

"It'll make us all feel better," Fili explained.

Bilbo suffered Oin to check his pulse and give him a cursory examination. He remembered Thorin's words that dwarves became overprotective regarding their young. He allowed them to help him to his feet and lead him back inside. He was ushered into his kitchen where Dori already had the kettle heating and was pulling out food for tea time.

"We'll have something in you in just a moment," Dori said as Bilbo was guided to a chair.

"Now really, this is too much," he protested. "Nothing happened."

Thorin sat down across from Bilbo so he could keep his eyes on him. Nothing may have technically happened, but you could never be too sure. "There is a store room several levels down, here in the royal halls where my family kept furniture and items they no longer used. We have only gone over it cursorily but most of the pieces seem intact and in fair condition. If you would like, you could go down and retrieve anything you may find useful."

"That's wonderful! I'm surprised that anything would have survived so long untended," Bilbo said.

"Erebor's storerooms were well sealed. And these are not pieces made by men for their short use."

"No, there's no denying your craftsmanship. I'd be glad to have anything we may find."

"Kili and Fili will escort you. They can be spared this afternoon. You will need their strength to move things around."

They lapsed into silence as Dori served them. Thorin wanted to ask Bilbo if he had slept better since he had already acknowledged last night’s episode, but that was a discussion best left for when they were alone.

Later, Bilbo stood before the great door of the royal family storeroom as Fili, Kili and Knute pushed it open. "This is less a storeroom and more of a vault," he commented. He followed the boys in, gaping at the size of the room.  It had a high ceiling, easily three times the height of his rooms, which he considered very high to begin with. His eyes tried to measure the length and breadth.

"This has to be ten times the size of my entire suite… but very well organized," he commented looking down the rows of furniture.

"We don't like to throw things away," said Fili.

"Especially if we can use it again or make it into something else," added Kili.

Bilbo touched divans, tables and chest of drawers as he slowly passed them by. "These are in excellent condition, all things considered. They just need some tender, loving care." He patted a cushion and it sent up a puff of dust.

"Maybe we should split up," Fili said. "There's a lot here."

"Good idea," answered Bilbo. "I would like a nice chaise and some benches for outside. Or maybe a table and chairs. And if you happen to run across any nursery furniture, let me know."

They each spread out on different isles.  "And please don't leave without me!" Bilbo called out. "I don't want to get lost in here!"

Bilbo took his time, examining pieces. Some were wood, intricately carved or otherwise decorated. Some were gold or metal plated, some jewel encrusted. Some were made completely of metal. Some were more utilitarian than anything. Those were the ones he found himself preferring.

He made a pleased sound when he found a chaise upholstered in full grain leather. He sat on it, running his fingers over the cushion. The leather needed a cleaning and oiling but was still in good condition. “This will probably hold up against the weather,” he mumbled to himself. He turned, laying down on it fully. It was comfortable and roomy. He was sure it would probably fit his and another body on it.

“I want this one!” he yelled. He didn’t want to walk away from it. There was so much furniture, he wasn’t sure he’d find it again. Kili and Knute reached him first. “Would you move it into the corridor, please? We can have someone bring it up later.” He watched them take it away before he turned, pleased that he’d found something.

With help and lots of vetoing, he also found a padded bench that would look lovely at the foot of his bed, an armchair to set in front of his bedroom fireplace that fit his proportions better, a lovely wooden chest to store his sewing projects in, a beautifully framed full length mirror and, of all things, a tea cart. He’d laughed out right when he’d found the cart. Some ancestor of Thorin’s must have enjoyed his or her tea. Or maybe it was for entertaining visiting dignitaries. It was made of cherry wood and had two side panels that folded up to form a circular surface. He just had to take it.

It was Fili who found the section of nursery furniture. As he neared, he saw Fili leaning over a large crib, testing it for strength. “Oh Fili,” he breathed. It was beautiful, made of wood with more curves than usual for dwarven furniture on its heavy frame.

“Looks like the bed height is adjustable,” Fili said, examining the railing underneath the mattress. Bilbo noted that it would definitely have to be replaced. It would definitely suit but the interesting part was the line of Cirth lettering around the edges that was gilted in gold.

“What does it say?” he asked.

Fili traced his the lettering with his fingers as he read aloud. It sounded poetic even to Bilbo’s ear. “They’re traditional prayers and blessings for health, protection, longevity, happiness…”

“Yes! This one. It’s perfect,” he said, his hand gliding along the edge. He chose some of the other pieces from the suite, a changing table, a wardrobe and a chest of drawers, before he called it quits. When he emerged back into the hallway, Dori was directing several dwarves as they hefted the furniture away.

It was after dinner that Thorin came to see what Bilbo had chosen. Bilbo showed him back to the spare bedroom closest to his own that he intended for the nursery. When he saw the crib, he moved to it silently, tracing the curves reverently with his hands. He looked lost in thought and it was several moments before he spoke.

“I haven’t seen this since my sister was a dwarfling. My grandfather crafted this himself for my father. I was laid in this crib, as was my brother, all of us. I didn’t know it was still…” Thorin paused. Bilbo reached over and lay his hand on Thorin’s arm and waited for him for continue. “I am honored that you have chosen it.”

Bilbo squeezed his arm. “I’m the one who’s honored. I’m glad our child will have this connection to his forefathers.” Thorin lay his own hand on top of Bilbo’s. “Thank you for letting me raid your family attic,” he said smiling. “And thank you… for last night. I’m sorry that I woke you.”

“You don’t have to apologize. I’m the one who’s sorry. If you hadn’t come, if everything had not happened the way that it did, you wouldn’t have those bad dreams.”

“If I hadn’t come, we wouldn’t be here now. It’s one of those things you can’t what-if away. They just are,” Bilbo said shrugging.

“I’m still sorry,” Thorin said gruffly.

“I know,” said Bilbo giving him another small smile. “But you don’t have to be. Besides, you did me the favor.” Thorin grunted in response. Bilbo knew it meant he didn’t necessarily agree, but Bilbo knew the right of it. Both he and the babe had settled quickly once Thorin had touched them. He just wished they were at a place where he could have that comfort every night.

 


	19. It does a body good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 5 in the mountain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of the lovely comments and the plethora of hits and kudos. Y'all are awesome! It's amazing this little thought has fleshed out so much. Has Bilbo really only been in the mountain 5 days? Cause it feels like a lot longer. 
> 
> So in my headcannon: staunchy Bungo Baggins was the purveyor of the all the domestic arts at Bag End and was the one to pass them on to young Bilbo, who as a very curious hobbit, picked up a lot of knowledge and abilities.

The next day was rather uneventful for Bilbo in that he spent the day quietly in his quarters. Dori had shown up after breakfast with help to clean and polish the "new" furniture. After his new chaise was cleaned up, Bilbo tested it out by having it set out on the balcony. He took his sewing and was enjoying the sunshine when Knute and Dori's movers brought out a large round table and sturdy chairs.

"Fili said in the excitement of finding the crib last night, you forgot to choose some outdoor furniture. They picked this out for you."

Bilbo's look of surprise was enough to make Dori chuckle. "You know, it completely slipped my mind." He watched as the pieces were arranged. They were carved from grey stone, beautiful and polished until they were smooth.

"We'll have new cushions made," Dori said as he nudged them into satisfactory positions. "Now you can enjoy meals out here as well."

Which is exactly what Bilbo did. After elevensies, he was left alone is again. He knew Knute was at his post outside his door but wouldn’t bother him unless called. Everyone else was occupied as normal elsewhere.

“Now let’s see if we can figure out how he did this,” he said to the babe as he walked into his bedroom. Bilbo had not forgotten that Thorin had magically appeared by his bedside the night before last. His front door had been bolted so how did he get in and out? Bilbo knew all about dwarves and their secret doors. There had to be one here. He only hoped it was detectable without any special conditions, none of that last light of Durin’s Day codswallop.

He’d start in the bedroom and work his way out. He walked over to the bed and ran his hands along the exposed wall. The rock was cold and solid to his touch and he didn’t see anything extraordinary. He ran into one of the tapestries. He lifted the edge and walked under it, nothing but more smooth rock wall. He rounded the corner and continued on the left side wall. Smooth rock, smooth rock, tapestry. This one was much larger, wider. He snuck under it to continue tracing the wall underneath. It was only a moment before his hand found the recess and the smooth wood surface.

“Well, that was easy and not quite so secret,” he said pulling the tapestry back to expose the wooden door. It was completely recessed in the thick stone wall. “That’s how he heard me, not through stone, but through a wooden door.” He tested the door handle. It was unlocked. Sending up a quick prayer that no one be in the adjoining room, Bilbo pushed it open.

There was no tapestry on the other side, just a darkened room. Bilbo ducked back to retrieve the lantern from his room and looked around. It was a bedroom. The bed was not as large as his, but still comfortable looking and buried in furs. The room was sparse in furniture with no personal items on display. Whoever lived here was rather austere. He went to the wardrobe and opened it. He was pretty sure he knew whose room this was, but he wanted confirmation.

The tunics hanging were all of the same style, all of them blue, brown or grey. It was really the smell that did it, the clean, masculine, unmistakable scent of Thorin. It came from the cloak hanging on the right side. It wasn’t the one he was familiar with. It was a newer cloak in the rich blue color Thorin favored. He lifted the sleeve to his nose and breathed in. It was surprising how comforting he still found Thorin’s scent, how pleasing it was. If he could, he would just stand here and breathe it in. But he couldn’t. He looked at the cloak consideringly.

No, he told himself. Thorin actually would notice a cloak missing. But the tunic next to it, probably not. He pulled it down and held it up to smell it. It wasn’t as imbued with Thorin’s scent as his cloak, but being next to it, some of the scent had rubbed off on it. Without thinking twice he closed the wardrobe and went back to his room. He folded the tunic and stuffed it under his pillow, making sure it couldn’t be seen. It wouldn’t be very long before it lost the scent, but he’d take it while it did.

As he sat on the bed, he considered what to do about the door. He had told Balin he’d wanted separate quarters, that he would not be co-opted by Thorin. But here he was in adjoining rooms with an adjoining door. And yet, Thorin had not abused the access. He had only come through it when Bilbo had been in distress. Was it really so bad to be close to Thorin’s room? Did he trust Thorin to continue to not abuse it? Yes, he decided. For now, he would not mention it. It could prove to be useful.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by a heavy knocking at his door. Knute was standing there with another young page.

"Mister Baggins, you’re needed right away in the Common Court.”

“What for?” Bilbo asked confused by what it could be about.

“A man has come with a delivery for you. He says the human healer directed him here.”

“Armin?” Bilbo asked, his face reflecting his surprise. “Let’s see what this is about then.” He closed his door and gestured for the pages to lead on. He remembered Fili and Kili telling him about sitting in the Common Court to hear all types of disputes and requests from dwarves and men alike. When they reached the court, Thorin sat on a plain throne with Fili and Kili seated to his right and Balin to his left. Dwalin was hovering nearby. There was a man standing at the foot of the throne dais who looked completely put out. As he neared, he recognized the man.

“Your Majesty, Your Highnesses, Lord Balin. Crofter Aldan, it is good to see you,” he greeted as he came within speaking distance.

“Ash, there you are. You make it difficult to find you,” Aldan replied.

“My apologies, much as happened in the past week,” Bilbo replied. With everything going on, he’d quite forgotten about his arrangement with the crofter.

“I’ve brought everything, just as we arranged, except for the trek up the mountain. I’ve also brought some of the things you’ve written for to Dale. Word got around that I was making a delivery. I’m to collect payment for those items as well.”

“Of course, of course. I appreciate your efforts. If you’ll tell me what I owe, I’ll send for coin,” said Bilbo.

“No need,” Thorin rumbled. “If you’ll present your tally to the treasury official, we will see you paid. Court is dismissed for the day.”

At that, any hovering dwarves began to disperse. The treasury official came forward to address the crofter who pulled a list out of his pocket. Thorin rose and stepped down the dais, followed by Fili and Kili.

“Really, I can…” Bilbo began.

Thorin waved him off. “When you came, we said would provide for all you needed. What is it you have arranged for?”

“Oh, odds and ends really. Seeds or seedlings and fertilizers, whatever was available. I’m afraid your market doesn’t yet offer much for starting a garden.”

“I brought the doe you wanted and the reeds,” said Aldan turning back to Bilbo. “My missus cut them herself, made sure to get good, sturdy ones of the size you liked.”

“Excellent!” Bilbo exclaimed, eyes shining with excitement. “May I see? Where are they?”

“My cart is in the stables. They wouldn’t let me bring it in,” he said, giving the guards a disgruntled look.

Thorin waved to Dwalin and the guard. “Let us go examine your wares then.” The guard led the group, including the Durins, the crofter, Bilbo, Dwalin and Knute down to the stables. Bilbo chatted with Aldan, asking after the state of his crops and his family. When they reached the stables, the crofter’s cart was off to the side. It was man sized, made to be pulled by a horse so it was too high for Bilbo to see over the edge effectively. He made a little sound of disappointment.

“If you’d like, I can lift you up,” Aldan offered holding out his arms. Bilbo perked up at that and walked over to where he stood behind the cart. Thorin stopped him with a hand on his arm giving him a concerned look. Bilbo laid his hand on Thorin’s.

“I promise, it’s safe. He’ll be gentle.” Bilbo was in earnest so after a moment, Thorin nodded reluctantly and stepped back. The crofter lifted Bilbo onto the cart bed and then slung his arms over the side boards. As he began to point things out to Bilbo, Thorin moved to the back, where he could best keep an eye on Bilbo.

Bilbo made several pleased comments about its contents. “Yes, very nice and even. They’re perfect for weaving,” Bilbo said rolling a couple of the reeds between his hands.

“What will you make with them?” Kili asked.

“A bassinet,” Bilbo replied testing the give of the reed.

“A bassi-what?”

Bilbo laughed. “A bassinet. It’s a basket that you put a baby in.”

“But you have a crib,” Fili noted.

“Yes and it’s beautiful. But it goes in the nursery and for the first few weeks, I’ll want the baby near me.”

“We can move it if you’d like, to your bedroom.”

“It’s fine. A bassinet is traditional in the Shire. It can be moved from room to room very easily. Some hobbits even make theirs with a handle to carry it around with. But I don’t like those. I’ll carry the baby with a wrap. I think that’s a much better anyway.”

“A wrap?” Kili asked. Bilbo remembered that children were rare for dwarves and wondered if Kili had ever seen a baby before.

“It’s a long piece of cloth that you wrap around the baby and your body.”

“You tie the baby to you with just a flimsy piece of cloth?” Fili asked.

“It’s very snug. And it holds the baby against your body so they share your warmth and can hear your heartbeat. It’s very reassuring.”

“I don’t know, doesn’t seem very safe.”

Bilbo laughed. “You’ll see. It’s very safe. What do dwarrowdams use?”

“A baby pack. It’s like a backpack, except for a baby. It’s got a metal shell to protect them.”

“Why does that sound like a shield strapped to a baby?” asked Bilbo.

“Almost,” said Kili. “But more customized for size.”

“Yes... well. My baby will not need a shield. We are not headed to war,” Bilbo said walking to the edge of the cart. He carefully sat at the edge. Thorin was already in position in front of him. He reached up and helped Bilbo down.

“Thank you,” he told Thorin before turning to the crofter. “And the doe?”

“They moved her to one of the far stalls,” he said leading the way.

“What do you need a deer for?” Kili asked.

Bilbo chuckled. “Not a deer. A doe goat, a female goat. I had arranged for her when I was living in my little house, for the milk.”

“Do we not have milk delivered to our kitchens?” asked Thorin.

“I’ll explain later,” Bilbo said with a soft smile as they came up to the stall. They could hear a small bleating.

“It’s a baby goat!” Kili exclaimed leaning far over the stall’s half door. “That is the cutest thing I have ever seen! Can I hold it?”

“Yes,” Bilbo said laughing, “but go gently. You don’t want to scare them.” He watched as Kili slowly let himself into the stall, holding his hand out to the kid.

“She kidded two week ago so she should milk for you for about eight months, give or take. I’ve brought some feed, since you were going to pasture her and I’m not sure what you’ll do now.”

“I’m not sure either, but we’ll figure it out. I have a grassy area I might place her in. I just don’t have enough roughage from my new garden yet to feed her as I had planned.”

“We can schedule regular deliveries if you’d like.”

“That might be wisest.” Bilbo and the crofter discussed other care while he watched Kili petting the little kid. Fili had snuck in beside him. Thorin was gazing at the goats dubiously.

The court page found them as they were winding down their discussion. He held out a small coin bag to the crofter. “Lord Balin has included extra and thanks you for your trouble.” He bowed and scurried away. By then, the cart had been unloaded.

“You know how to reach me if you need anything,” the crofter said seeing to his horse before he took his leave.

As they stood watching Fili and Kili pet both goats, Thorin turned to Bilbo. “Now explain to me the need for these.”

Bilbo turned to see that no one else was close enough to hear before responding. “I had arranged for them when I was living in Dale. I was several months into the pregnancy and I hadn’t developed…” Bilbo blushed darkly and lowered his voice. “Mammaries.”

“Breasts?” Thorin asked, his face expressing his confusion.

“Shhh! Yes, breasts. Some males do and some don’t. I am a very late developer so it’s not a suprise that I haven’t. But that means I won’t produce milk for the baby. So I arranged for a milking goat,” he said gesturing to the doe. Bilbo could see comprehension dawning on Thorin’s face. He must have been getting a mental picture because he blushed as well and cleared his throat.

“I see.”

“Frankly, I’m alright with that because there’s only so much change to my body I think I can handle,” Bilbo said absently stroking the curve of his belly. “Besides, goat’s milk is gentler on an infant’s stomach and we will always have fresh milk. And there was no way I was going to attempt to milk a cow! I can just imagine what a distaster that would be. Plus we can make cheese,” Bilbo said smiling. “But I was going to keep them in a shed and paddock near my garden. I don’t know what I’ll do now.”

“Will the same plan not work here?” Thorin asked.

“You don’t mind?”

“It’s your garden. We can have a shelter and fence built. I’ll have Bifur and Bofur arrange it. Is there anything else you need?”

“I think Dori can find anything else. I’d just forgotten about these two. I can come down and milk them in the mornings until their enclosure is completed.”

“Shouldn’t we train someone to do that… for when you cannot?”

Bilbo chuckled. “You’re going to find me a goat herder amongst your dwarves?”

“They could use that knowledge to earn money in similar fashion, could they not? Selling the milk to our kitchens, making cheese?”

“Yes, I suppose so.”

“Then I’m sure we can find an enterprising individual. We’ve learned not to let earning opportunities pass us by.”

“And yet, somehow, I still can’t picture it,” Bilbo said smiling up at Thorin. “Dwarvish goat herders.” He let himself into the stall and went to pet the goats.

Thorin had lunch sent up to Bilbo’s chambers where they joined him. After lunch, he saw the arrival of Bifur, Bofur and Ori to discuss and draw up plans for a goat shed and paddock. By the time they were done, the shed was more of a small barn. It was certainly more than enough for one doe and kid. With their assurances that work would be started as soon as possible, they left him to enjoy some time outside.

That night, when Bilbo lay down to sleep, he pulled Thorin’s stolen tunic out from under his pillow. He breathed in its scent as he began to drift asleep. As many times before, he wished everything had all played out differently. He didn’t want to be alone. 


	20. She'll be coming 'round the mountain...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good news. Questionable news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this is mainly fluffy filler. I'm trying to get someplace and I'm hacking through the story to get there without bogging it down too much. And I think I've just held on to this part for too long. Time to move along. Plus, I'm totally going there with the fanon ideal of dwarrow braids.

Bilbo took Ori with him when he went down in the morning to milk the doe, shadowed by Knute. They carried the warm milk to Bombur, who served it to them with second breakfast. After that, Ori would have had them retreat to the Great Library.

Bilbo was fairly certain the actual motivation behind Ori's suggestion was that Thorin (or any of his dwarves) wouldn’t want him around while construction was being done out on his terrace. There was only one way onto that terrace so everything had to be carried in through the royal halls and his rooms.

Bilbo protested, citing too much work to be done in his garden, his sewing, not to mention needing to soak his reeds to prepare them for weaving. At the prospect of learning to weave with a different medium, Ori relented.

While Bilbo planted his new seedlings, Knute and Ori awkwardly stood nearby. Bilbo couldn’t convince them to be at ease, so he let them be. He also couldn’t decide if it was a good measure to be so guarded or if it was a bit too cautionary. But given the events at the market, he didn’t protest. He did watch with awe though as the construction went up quickly. If a dwarf or two ended up watching him and had to be called back to attention by Bifur, Bilbo didn’t notice.

He had to hand it to Dori though. There was no trace of evidence that a team of burly dwarves had been tromping through his rooms with all sorts of building materials.

By the afternoon of the third day, as Bilbo sat outdoors completing his basket, explaining the finishing technique to Ori, Bofur and Bifur walked up to him to declare their project finished. They beamed with satisfaction as Bilbo marveled at the amenities. The floor was set with large, smooth paving stones. There were four stalls “in case you wanted to expand your little herd,” Bofur explained. There was storage area for his feed and even a spout and drain for watering or bathing the goats.

“This is nicer than my little house was,” Bilbo declared.

“That makes me a mite sad,” said Bofur. “If we’d only known…”

Bilbo squeezed Bofur’s arm. “I didn’t mean anything by it except praise. It’s wonderful,” he said. “I’m sure my goats will be so happy that they give sweet milk.”

“Is that how it happens?” Bofur laughed.

“Well… that and clover,” Bilbo smiled.

As he turned to close the little paddock gate, he heard an approaching ruckus. Kili and Fili ran up to Bilbo, excitement pouring off of them. He could hardly make out what they were saying, the two overlapping each other.

“I can’t understand you!” he yelled above their voices. “One at a time!”

“Amad,” Kili began.

“sent a raven…”

“a day away…”

“camped on the other side of Dale…”

“arriving tomorrow…”

“wanted to ride out to meet her…”

“Uncle won’t allow it…”

“You have to talk to him, Bilbo,” Fili pleaded.

“You have to convince him to let us go,” Kili added.

“I’m not sure if you noticed, but your uncle rarely listens to me,” Bilbo responded dryly.

“But if you asked…”

“Uncle won’t refuse you anything. Please,” Kili entreated, flashing large brown eyes at Bilbo.

Bilbo didn’t know about that. “If your uncle won’t allow it, I’m sure he has his reasons.”

“I do,” said Thorin, calmly walking up behind the boys, followed by Balin and Dwalin. He stopped to admire the goat shed. “It came out well.”

“Very well, I’d say,” noted Bilbo, turning back to give it another glance.

“Please Uncle,” Kili begged.

Thorin sighed. “I know. I know how much you want to see her. But if you ride out tonight, you will not be back in time tomorrow to be prepared. The last of the royal family is returning to Erebor with the largest of the caravans. That requires a bit of…”

“Ceremony,” Balin provided.

“It is symbolic. For the morale of our people, we must give it its due. Do you understand?” Thorin asked, addressing the boys.

“Yes, Uncle,” Fili said, echoed by Kili.

Thorin reached out to the two, placing his hands on their heads, stroking their hair. “Just a little while longer, mizimîth.”

“She’ll be here before you know it,” Bilbo said softly, giving the boys a small push to head back inside. He stopped at his outdoor table to pick up his finished bassinet.

"Is that the uh… the thing you put the babe in?" Thorin asked.

"I still say flimsy," Fili mumbled. It looked flimsy to Thorin's eye as well. It was just some sort of hardened grass. How was that safe? But he was willing to trust that Bilbo knew what he was doing.

Bilbo rolled his eyes. "It only has to support a baby, not one of you rock heavy dwarves."

After Bilbo had them served tea, Thorin turned to address him. "Tomorrow afternoon when the caravan arrives, we will meet them at the gate to welcome them. It will not be a long ceremony since it will take some time for the entire caravan to enter and to direct everyone to the proper quarters. Most of the company will be standing up on the battlements above the gates. I would like it if you would join them there."

"Certainly," Bilbo said, tea cup at his lips.

"Dis will likely not rest until the caravan has been dispersed. In the evening, after she has settled, may I bring her and introduce her to you?"

Bilbo was slightly taken aback by Thorin’s way of asking if he could introduce his sister. It seemed a little formal for dwarves, but maybe that was just because they were royalty. He nodded as he swallowed his tea.

"There will be another, formal ceremony the day after, where I will reaffirm and crown Dis as a princess of Erebor, much like we did for Fili and Kili after we retook the mountain. At that time, I also conferred titles and status on the company for their part in retaking the mountain. I would like to award you the same. Now before you protest," Thorin hurried on, "there are many reasons why I would like you to accept."

Bilbo had indeed been about to protest, to say that he didn't need any recognition or titles, but he swallowed it back and nodded for Thorin to proceed.

"First, you are a member of the company. You deserve no less than any of the others. Second, I would have everyone in Erebor know what you have done for them. And third, if there is no question as to who you are, there should be no more incidents like at the market."

Bilbo nodded. He could see the merit of Thorin's plan, even if he did object to receiving of any kind of title.

"Also, your new status will also be conferred on our child. With status from both parents, it should..." Thorin paused trying to think how to word his thought without giving offense.

"Keep the old guard from wagging their tongues," Balin provided.

Bilbo snorted. He knew all about that. His own parents' marital mismatch had been fodder for the grist mill for years.

"It's not that I think that there will be a need..." Thorin began.

“It's alright,” Bilbo assured. “I know how these things go." He was not against anything that might make his child's life easier to navigate in what he still thought of as foreign waters.

Bilbo listened closely as Balin explained the order of the ceremony and his part in it. Beside him, he could feel Thorin watching him, perhaps gauging him for his reaction. He smiled softly at Thorin to reassure him.

When he was done, Balin excused himself. Thorin gestured to Fili, who picked up a package that was sitting on the table.

"I had these made for you, for the ceremony. I know they are not in your hobbit style, but I hope you like them," Thorin said.

Bilbo took the package and unwrapped it. It was a new tunic, trousers and long coat done in the dwarvish style. They were in what Bilbo considered Thorin's colors, dark blue with gold embroidery along the edges and cuffs. He ran his hands over the fabric. The material was a thick, but smooth weave. If there was one thing both hobbits and dwarves appreciated, besides food, it was quality.

"They're very nice. Thank you.” He touched the sigils embroidered on the cuffs. "Do these mean something?"

"They are patterns of our house. We consider you family. Even if we did not, as you are bearing my child, you would be considered a part of our house."

"We decided long ago that you're our uncle," said Fili.

"And now, you're our cousin's mother," Kili added.

"Bearer. If I have to beat it into you, I will," Bilbo said.

"We only have words for father and mother. So get used to it," Kili said cheekily.

Thorin cleared his throat. "It is entirely appropriate for you to wear them. There is one other thing, if I could speak to you alone?" He gave Fili and Kili a glance. They excused themselves, quietly closing the door behind them.

Thorin was nervous about this next part of their talk. He'd been urged by several of the company to make the offer but offers could be refused. But he'd wanted this since Bilbo stepped foot in the mountain. He reached into a hidden pocket of his coat. Whatever he pulled out, he held in his closed hand. Keeping his eyes downcast, he began speaking.

"As you know, in our culture, braids convey meaning and status. If I had done things right, if I had not… you would have had such braids. There are two that I would still offer and request of you. One is the braid of the line of Durin. It would show you are part of the our family, as we have already accepted you. The other is the Mother's braid. If you wear the two together, it will also signify that you are the... the bearer of a child of my line. It would honor me greatly. And anyone who saw them would know that you are under my protection."

Thorin slowly opened his hand. Bilbo leaned in to see what he held. In it, were two gold hair clasps. Both were intricately engraved, one studded with small sapphires, the other with deep green emeralds.

Bilbo's fingers gingerly touched the clasps. "They're beautiful. I would be honored to wear them." He looked up at Thorin, who gave him a small, pleased smile.

“If you would allow me, I will braid them in," Thorin said relieved. Bilbo turned so Thorin could reach the left side of his face. He held still while Thorin undid the braid already on that side. He could feel Thorin’s knuckles gently brushing his cheek as he twined the hair.

“This one,” Thorin said holding up the sapphire clasp, “is for the line of Durin.” He placed it and deftly wove the second braid right next to the first. “This one for the Mother braid. I thought you might like the emeralds as they are the same color as the hills of your motherland.” When he had finished, he held the two braids resting in his hand. He only wished he could have added the Marriage braid. He reluctantly let them slip from his fingers.

“If we... lived together, it would be my duty and privilege to rebraid them every morning. Since we do not, let me show you how they are done.” Bilbo watched as Thorin demonstrated the plaits on his own hair. He was a little disappointed to have to do them on his own. Having Thorin’s hands in his hair was a pleasure he missed. But he watched and learned diligently. He would want them to be presentable, not just because of his own personal habits, but because it represented Thorin as well.

As Thorin unwound the practice braids, Bilbo said, "this seems like a lot of measures meant to mark or identify me. You don't think it's maybe too much?"

"Not in the least, not when it comes to you and the babe. What is it the men say? Better safe than sorry."

Bilbo chuckled. "Well, it's not your normal philosophy."

"You are very precious to me. I'll not risk you, either of you," Thorin said seriously. He tentatively reached out towards Bilbo's belly but stopped half way. Bilbo gently took his hand and brought it into contact.

"You've not come back," he said quietly.

Thorin knew what he meant. He'd wanted to but he was never sure just what to say or what to do. "I wasn't sure how..."

"You just come, Thorin. Whenever you want to or you have time, just come." Thorin nodded. "It won't be awkward forever."

After a moment, Thorin leaned in over their hands and in a low voice, spoke in Khuzdul. Bilbo took a slow, deep breath. He really hoped his assurance was enough to convince Thorin that he was welcome. Before he could begin to wonder what he was saying, there was a heavy knock on the door.

Thorin broke the contact and sat back as Bilbo called for the visitor to enter. It was Oin with his medical bag.

“I see you finally braided him. 'Bout time,” he said gruffly. “Time for yer weekly checkup.”

“But you just examined me three, four days ago,” Bilbo protested.

“Won’t have time with the caravan coming. May not see you for days. Have ta clear all the new arrivals. Can’t have them bringing sickness into the mountain. So it’s got to be now.”

“Fine,” he relented rising to lead Oin back to privacy of the bedroom. “Stay if you’d like,” he told Thorin. “This won’t take very long.” Thorin wasn’t going anywhere. He wanted to know if Oin would have anything to say.

True to his word, Bilbo reemerged ahead of Oin five minutes later. Oin stopped him from sitting and bade him stand a moment.

“Take a look at him with your measuring eye,” he instructed Thorin. Dwarves as master craftsmen were accustomed to eyeballing measurements with accuracy. “Does it look like he’s grown any to you since he’s been here?” Thorin took a long look at Bilbo, tilting his head one way, then the other. He motioned for Bilbo to turn. After a long moment he shook his head.

“Not that I can tell.”

“Me neither."

"I did too," said Bilbo. "My tunics are a little tighter. I'm just not as stout as a dwarf so you probably just don't see it."

Thorin and Oin shared a look of disbelief.

Oin grunted. "It's not enough, I'd say. So here’s what we’re gonna do. Have you any twine?” Bilbo retrieved a ball of thick yarn from his sewing chest. Oin made him expose his belly while he measured around the thickest part. He tied a knot to mark the length. Leaving plenty of slack for future measurements, he cut the twine.

"Next time, we'll know for sure," he said stashing the string in his pack. "I heard about your little goats. Will the babe take to the milk?"

"It's been done plenty before. I don't see any reason why it wouldn't work now. Besides, I don't think you'll have any spare nursemaids around."

"Sadly, no. Send for me if you need me," Oin said as he walked himself out.

When Bilbo turned back to Thorin, he could see his thoughts on his face. "You're worried."

"If there was time, I would send to the Shire for one of your healers."

Bilbo chuckled. "While I appreciate the sentiment, how many times do I have to tell you? Hobbits don't leave the Shire."

Thorin raised an eyebrow.

"Still the exception. And there's no need to be worried. I haven't had any complications so far and Oin is a fine healer."

"You heard him though. The babe doesn't grow." Thorin's mouth turned down unhappily.

"He does," said Bilbo earnestly. "It's not a typical pregnancy by your standards or mine. So you can't work yourself up when things aren't 'normal'. He lives. I know because he moves. We feel him." Bilbo took Thorin's hand and placed it on a spot where he could feel movement. "He's not in distress. So stop this," Bilbo said smoothing his fingers over Thorin's furrowed brow. "This is what you do. You worry and you brood. And there's no reason to. Not when you have so many other things to worry about."

Thorin sighed. "Dis would say the same."

"Aha! A woman of sense!" Bilbo gave Thorin a cheeky smile.

"I think you will like her."

"From the stories I've heard, your sister seems very... formidable."

"That is true enough, but she adores her family. And as you are a part of it, I know she will adore you as well."

When Bilbo lay down to sleep that night, waiting for sleep to come, he wondered what tomorrow would bring. What would Dis be like? Would she be accepting of him or would she question his place in her brother’s kingdom? How would these new dwarves who had never heard of him react?

He pulled Thorin’s folded tunic from under his pillow and tucked it under his head. Thorin’s scent had faded almost completely. He sighed at the loss. He would have to return it anyhow. He closed his eyes. Tomorrow Thorin would be very busy. He was sure to rise and leave his room early. He could sneak it back then. He concentrated on what little of Thorin’s scent remained and drifted to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mizimîth - jewels that are young  
> \- from the Dwarrow Scholar's Khuzdul dictionary


	21. ... when she comes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter Dis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m messing with the Shire timeline and history a little to serve my purposes. It's minor. 
> 
> Also really... thanks for all your comments. They make my day. You're lovely!

When Bilbo awoke the next morning, he could almost feel the mountain abuzz with anticipation. It was very early but he readied himself and set about making breakfast. He found the largest tray he could carry and stacked it.

Carefully making his way down the hall, he noticed it was early enough that Knute had not reported for duty yet. He was glad to see the lad actually went somewhere to rest at night. He almost thought Thorin would have someone in the hall at all hours but that would be ridiculous.

He knocked as best he could on Fili and Kili's door. On his third attempt, Fili opened it.

"It's too early," he could hear Kili's faint moaning in the background.

"Bilbo," Fili greeted him with surprise. He pushed his way past Fili into their suite. They had a fair sized sitting room that he was happy to find clean. Young dwarves they may be, but the boys were very fastidious with their weapons and belongings. Bilbo was pleased that it translated into their personal habits as well. More likely it was beat into them by their formidable mother, he thought.

"Good morning, Fili," he said turning around to take him in. He'd obviously just risen. He was rubbing bleary eyes and standing with mussed braids in only a pair of sleeping bottoms.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to help you and make sure you eat some breakfast," Bilbo said laying out the table. "It's going to be a long day and it takes a good start to make it through one of those. Now hurry and get washed up."

Fili nodded and retreated back into the hallway. He heard him speaking to Kili, although all he heard was his name, breakfast and a thump on the floor. He smirked while hooking the tea kettle onto the fireplace crane to keep warm. He didn't want to invade their private spaces so he waited. When he heard them emerging, he poured the tea.

"What will you be doing this morning?" he asked after they were seated and served.

"Check over the preparations. Amad sent a list of some of the families coming. If we could identify their homes from before, they were cleaned and some basic repair done. Other families will be assigned homes or halls, depending on what's available and what claims can be substantiated. It's all very complicated," Fili explained.

"We don't expect the caravan until later in the afternoon, but Uncle will find ways to keep us busy,” Kili complained around his mouthful.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Bilbo asked.

“Oh, no. Uncle doesn’t want to risk it. He’ll send Bofur for you when it’s time,” said Fili.

“I don’t understand. Risk what exactly?”

“Well… you. He’s afraid that you’ll get bumped around in the chaos.”

“Or trampled,” added Kili.

“That’s why he asked you to stay on the battlements.”

Bilbo chewed his toast and on his thoughts. He honestly didn’t know if Thorin was being sweet thinking of his safety or overly protective.

When the boys were done eating and dressing, he checked them, straightening the lay of their clothes, helping them strap on their lighter, daily armour. Before he let them go, he tucked a small bundle wrapped in cloth napkins into their coat pockets.

“What’s this?” Kili asked.

“Just a few biscuits for later, in case you don’t have a chance to eat,” Bilbo said pushing them out the door.  After waiting to see that they were beyond hearing, he turned to greet the now stationed Knute.

“Good morning! Did the king already leave his rooms?”

“He left half an hour ago.”

“I’ll speak to him later then,” Bilbo said retreating back into his rooms. Now that he’d confirmed Thorin’s absence, he could proceed with the morning’s second task. He pressed the tunic, wrinkled from his nightly grasp and quietly let himself into Thorin’s room. He hung the tunic back where he’d gotten it and selected a new one to take with him. Then he made himself second breakfast and went about his morning, congratulating himself on what a good, honest burglar he was.

By the afternoon, Thorin had been to several sections of the mountain, with his entourage in tow. They inspected preparations and gave final instructions. He had just ordered the distribution of coal to the temporary dormitories when a loud horn echoed through the mountain. It was the gate watch announcing the sighting of the caravan. Everyone stilled for a moment at the sound. As it faded, the activity level became frantic. Dwarves rushed to finish their task and get to their assigned areas.

As Thorin turned to begin leading his party towards the gate, a dwarf carrying a basket of coal crashed into him. The dwarf apologized profusely leaning down to gather the fallen clumps. Thorin, Kili and Fili bent to help. As they finished and stood, Fili and Kili wiped their hands on the now empty napkins Bilbo had given them. Thorin went to reach into his pocket to search for a handkerchief, thinking he might also have one, when he realized he was covered in soot.

He growled in frustration. “Fili, lead the assembly to the gate. I will change my tunic and meet you as soon as I am able.” He turned and sprinted back towards the royal halls. It wouldn’t do to meet Dis in a dirty tunic, not on so special an occasion. He burst into his room and flung open the wardrobe doors. His eyes alighted on the tunic that looked freshly pressed. He swiftly changed. In the hallway, he paused and looked at Bilbo’s door. Should he check for Bilbo, he wondered. No, he turned and began running. At the sound of the horn, Bofur would have come to lead Bilbo to the battlements.

As he joined his party, he eyed the soldiers lined up in salute to the oncoming dwarves. He took his place at the apex of his party with Fili and Kili standing just behind him, at his sides. They watched the caravan lumbering closer. A breeze blew across them and Thorin suddenly thought of Bilbo. He turned, trying to spot him on the parapet. Beside him, Kili was sniffing.

“Do you smell that?”

“Smell what?” Fili asked, taking a whiff of air.

“It smells like… honey.”

“Actually,” Fili said taking another whiff, “it smells like Bilbo.”

Thorin was still turned looking for Bilbo, when he realized his nephews were nudging closer to him, sniffing.

“It’s you, Uncle! Why do you smell like honey?” Kili demanded.

“I’m telling you, he smells like Bilbo. Did you see Bilbo when you went to your room?”

“It’s honey. Did he give you snacks while you were there?”

Fili nodded his head. It was a sweet scent, very reminiscent of Bilbo’s baking. He could see why Kili thought so.

“It’s just that,” Kili continued, “I’ve already eaten mine and now it’s going to be a while before we eat again. May I have some?”

“What is this foolishness you’re going on about?” Thorin grumbled. There! He could see the remaining company members grouped together and in their midst, obviously standing on a step of some kind, was Bilbo’s golden topped head. He turned back around to watch the approach.

“Come on, now. Give us a little,” Kili coaxed.

“He’ll make you more.”

“What are you talking about?” Thorin inquired.

“We can smell them on you.”

“You wouldn’t hold out on us would you Uncle?” Fili implored. At that, he and Kili starting patting Thorin's coat for hidden goodies. He shoved their hands away impatiently.

“What are you doing?” he growled.

“Looking for the biscuits. We know you have some.”

“Stand up straight,” he commanded, pushing them back to their places. “Why would you be so foolish as to think that I have biscuits?” He shot the snickering sons of Fundin a displeased look.

“We can smell them on you,” Kili repeated. “Like the honey oat ones he makes.”

Thorin was confused so he lifted the collar of his tunic and sniffed. “That’s…” He took another sniff. “That’s not biscuits. That’s Bilbo.” He pressed his nose into the cloth and breathed deeply. It was the scent of Bilbo’s hair. He’d made a concoction with the same scent when they were at Beorn’s and had used it to wash his hair. He would remember that scent anywhere. He looked up at the lads even more confused. Why would his tunic smell like Bilbo?

“They come!” Balin exclaimed. Thorin, Fili and Kili snapped back to attention.

Dis could be clearly made out, riding at the head of the caravan. It seemed to take forever as she passed between the lines of the vanguard and came to a halt a hundred feet from Thorin. Everything seem to stop, even the air. Thorin raised his hands and began his greeting.

Up on the battlements, Bilbo waited with bated breath to hear what would be said. Thorin began speaking, his booming voice echoing back to the gates. He strained to listen, then slumped his shoulders when he realized it was in Khuzdul. Of course it was.

Bofur, who was on his right, leaned in and began whispering.

"He welcomes Dis, Princess of Erebor, Daughter of Durin home."

Bofur paused as they listened to the next line.

"He welcomes the people and descendants of Erebor home. He welcomes those who would seek a life of peace and prosperity home."

Bilbo listened to Bofur with half an ear as Thorin described an abridged version of events that led to the retaking of Erebor. He got lost in the ceremonial cadence of his voice until he heard the words _Sanbâh Melekûn_. Those were familiar words.

Bofur, noticing his return to full attention, chuckled. "Aye, that would be you."

"What did he say?"

"He said you tricked the dragon, stealing the Arkenstone back for Erebor's king and negotiating the peace that gave us victory in battle."

"That makes it sound more auspicious than it was."

"And yet, that really was how it went down," Bofur said drolly. They listened as Thorin's speech neared its end.

"For the glory of Mahal," Bofur translated as all of the dwarves hefted their weapons and shouted as one.

"For the glory of the Seven Fathers," Bofur said before shouting, lifting his mattock high.

"For the glory of Erebor." At that, all of the dwarves in the valley shouted wildly and a multitude of the great horns were blown above the gate, sounding in harmony. Bilbo was sure they could be heard all the way to the Greenwood.

As the shouting subsided, he could see Thorin's group turn and lead the way through the great gates. Dis had dismounted and was walking between her sons. Bilbo looked down and watched as the many dwarves entered into Erebor. His heart was still thumping in his chest from the excitement.

"So many," he whispered, impressed by sheer amount of organizing it would have taken to lead a group this size across Arda. Cart after cart rumbled into the mountain.

"Aye, and it looks they brought everything, including the kitchen sink!" laughed Bofur. He led Bilbo to one of the overhead walkways with a balcony. They stood and watched the teeming crowd within the cavernous entrance hall. Carts were being unloaded and redirected. Hundreds of dwarves were moving in all directions. He could see small islands of activity where a person in the center would be giving out instructions. He was unable to find any of the Durins but he was sure they were all down there directing.

When he'd had his fill, Bofur led him back to his rooms. Bofur insisted on keeping him company but Bilbo shooed him away, sure he was need elsewhere. Seeing so many dwarves and so much going on had made him feel a little claustrophobic. The sun was low in the sky so Bilbo sat outside to breathe the fresh air until the sun set. He rustled his goats into their shed for the night and began thinking about dinner.

Between their arrival and the eighth evening bell, Thorin, Dis, the princes and the company worked tirelessly to resolve issues and get everyone settled, at least for the night. At the eighth bell, Thorin found Dis and pulled her away.

"It's enough. Come and rest," he urged. She would have resisted but truthfully, anything left could be handled by the lieutenants, wardens and officials. It had been a long journey and she was tired. She acquiesced and let him lead her towards the royal halls. Her sons caught up with them, weary but excited to have her full attention.

They walked just ahead of her chattering like birds, telling her about the restoration of her rooms. When they opened her door with a flourish, she stood there a moment, unmoving. She needed that moment to acclimate to the fact that she was finally there. She's been so young when they had fled but look how time had not changed the mountain. Sure, the dressings were different, but the mountain remained the same.

She walked into the room, then turned, leaning into her brother. "You did it," she sighed. "You brought us home." They stood in silence, with arms around each other, lost for a moment in the memories of years and lives lost. A few tears escaped them but after so much tragedy and having to quickly pull themselves together to lead their people, neither would fully indulge in tears. But Dis did allow herself another sigh because she could now. It was a relief.

"I had help," Thorin said, his voice rough with emotions. He reached out and pulled the hovering Fili and Kili into their embrace.

After a few moments, Kili, who had somehow wedged himself into the center, muffled, "I can't breathe!" They chuckled, relaxing their grip so he was able to stand upright. “That must be how Bilbo feels,” he said, straightening his tunic.

“Speaking of which,” Dis said, “we have much to discuss. But first, I would like to clean up. We pushed on the last few days. I smell like dust when you, brother, smell like honey.”

“Oh, that’s not honey, that’s Bilbo,” clarified Fili.

“Your halfling? We do have much to discuss! Like why you didn’t tell me he is a prince of his people.”

“What?” cried Thorin, Fili and Kili.

“You didn’t know? When we passed near the Shire, we rode into it to see if we could find your missing halfing. We were directed to his house easily enough, but found it empty. We inquired and found his kinsman Drogo, his steward. This Drogo referred us on to the thain, the ruler of the Shire, who as it turns out is your halfling’s uncle.”

“I seem to recall his grandfather was a person of some importance in Shire,” Thorin said vaguely.

“Oh, do you mean the grandfather, who was thain before the uncle? The thainship has passed from father to son in his family for almost as long as they have occupied the Shire apparently,” Dis said smartly.

Fili leaned over and whispered to Kili, “that explains a lot about Bilbo.”

“Luckily, I was able to convince the uncle that your halfling had chosen to remain here. He allowed me, after some persuasion, to bring most of his belongings.”

“Wait… you stole Bilbo’s stuff?” asked Kili incredulously.

“I did not ‘steal his stuff’.” Dis denied. “I am simply holding it in trust until you can locate him. If he is nearby, you might lead an apology with having had his belongings transported across all of Arda so that he could have his familiar comforts. And if he has left, he will have to return here to reclaim them so you will still have another chance to redress your errors.”

Thorin hummed in acknowledgement of Dis' plan. She was crafty indeed. “Then the lads did not tell you?” he asked.

“Tell me what?”

“We have found him. He is here, in these very halls. I would like to introduce you to him.”

“Then is everything righted between you?”

"We have reached a sort of understanding." Dis didn't need to make a response. He could see it clearly written on her face.

"First there is something you must understand. It is..." Thorin paused searching for the right word. "...a delicate circumstance. Some of the halfling males can bear young, Bilbo among them. He is... with child."

"You mean to tell me," she began, taking a menacing step forward, "that you knocked up the prince of a people that we hope to open trade lines with, without properly courting him first and this on top of everything else that happened?"

"Well... when you put it like that..."

"What other way to put it is there?" Dis railed. "Do you know what his uncle, the thain, said to me? He said 'I hope you dwarves are taking good care of my dear nephew. He is the only child of my beloved sister. She was our father's most beloved child and Bilbo was his favorite grandchild out of the many.'"

Dis lifted her hand to massage her forehead. "Please tell me he is, at least, in suitable rooms for his station."

"He is in the Consort's Suite," said Fili.

"Good. Then we can see about repairing the rest. I will not have my niece be born where I cannot help her."

Fili and Kili shared a knowing smile. They had known their mother would champion for Bilbo because he was now family.

"Order dinner. Let's get cleaned up," she said giving a pointed look at her sons. “Then you can introduce me to your Bilbo."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think it hilarious that Dis (1) took mpreg in stride because (2) why would she not believe her brother and (3) assumes that it's gonna be a girl.
> 
>  _Sanbâh_ true friend
> 
>  _Melekûn_ hobbit


	22. Introductions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This doesn't really forward the story. I just really wanted this conversation in there somewhere. :o)

Dis bathed and dressed quickly, leaving her hair loose to dry. She was anxious to see her sons again. She had received many letters via raven assuring her they were safe and fully recovered, but seeing is believing. When they returned to her suite, she made then shuck their tunics so she could see the damage with her own eyes.

Her fingers traced the fine, white lines across their torsos and backs. These had once been grave injuries but their total healing and minimal scarring confused her.

"I don't understand," she finally said. "I have never seen such faint scars before. What healer did this? I know of none with such skill."

"It was Bilbo’s doing," Fili said.

"He is a healer?"

"No, we were... not well."

"I see that," Dis said tracing a line around Fili's side. "This was a curved blade, wasn't it? It might have killed you but it looks..." She stopped, at a loss for words.

"Sit and we'll tell you the story before Uncle comes." They pulled their tunics on and sat on either side of their mother. As with Bilbo, they pulled out their lockets and told the story. Dis sat with one open in her hand. When they finished speaking, they waited for a reaction from Dis. A knock at the door had her closing the locket and handing it back.

"We will speak of this later," she said as two servants brought in dinner. They sat and ate, telling her the parts of the journey they had not yet related. Thorin came in after they had started, having been delayed by urgent messages.

"All is well," he assured Dis as he sat down. “Everyone has been seen to for the night.”

They did not linger long over the meal. Dis had seen her sons. They were hale and whole. There was no more urgency. She would have their full story in time. But there were other things that still needed attention.

“Will you take me to meet your halfling now?” asked Dis as she placed her napkin on the table.

"Just don't call him a halfling where he can hear you," advised Fili.

"He gets huffy about it," added Kili.

Bilbo had been expecting Dis' visit since Thorin had told him of his intention. After dinner, he had prepared his tea service and plates of biscuits. Every doubt he had about family and his place in the mountain ran through his mind making him a nervous. He stepped out onto the balcony hoping the cool air would calm him.

Thorin knocked as the Durin clan stood outside Bilbo's door. When no answer came, Fili, Kili and Thorin threw each other an unsure look. They usually would just walk in, but with Dis in their company, they hesitated for decorum's sake. Thorin finally stepped forward to open the door.

"Sometimes, he cannot hear knocking if he is outdoors or further in his rooms." They followed him in silently. He left them standing in the sitting area while he walked out to the balcony.

There stood Bilbo leaning on the stone gate, looking out over the darkened mountain. Thorin softly called his name to get his attention. He could see Bilbo take a deep breath before turning. There was worry in his eyes, though he did try to put on a brave face.

"What troubles you?" Thorin asked.

Bilbo sighed heavily. "Nothing." Thorin waited. "Just thoughts, questions, what ifs. What if she becomes angry after she learns what I did? What if she doesn't want me here?"

Thorin slowly took Bilbo's hand. "She knows most of the tale already. I assure you, if she is angry, it is with me and my actions, not yours." He gently squeezed Bilbo's fingers hoping to reassure him.

Bilbo nodded, stepping forward but was still caught up in his thoughts. It wasn't until he was standing in front of Lady Dis that he realized Thorin was still holding his hand. Or he was still holding Thorin’s hand. He couldn’t tell which. Rather than awkwardly letting go, he looked up at the Lady Dis.

She was as beautiful as they had described her. As tall as Fili, her limbs had long, sleek muscles but just as powerful, he had no doubt. Her hair was like Thorin’s, thick and wavy but absent the silver streaks. It fell almost to her waist, unbound but for a few braids.

She much resembled Thorin except her features were smaller and more delicate. Thorin kept his beard trimmed close to his face from a vow he'd made until his people returned home, he’d once told Bilbo. Dis must have made a similar vow, he thought, as her beard was also closely trimmed.

She carried herself with grace, even in stillness. If Thorin was majestic, the Lady Dis was regal. It might have been intimidating for Bilbo once, meeting such a lady. But he repeated his mantra to himself: if he could face down a dragon, he could face introductions, even if he was nervous.

"Dis, may I present Mister Bilbo Baggins of the Shire, Burglar of our company," Thorin said formally. "Mister Baggins, my sister, Princess Dis, daughter of Thrain, son of Thror."

"My lady," Bilbo said, sketching a slight bow.

"Prince Bilbo, it is a pleasure to meet you at last," Dis said bowing her head for a moment.

Bilbo spluttered. "I'm sorry, my lady. You have been misinformed. I am not a prince." He gestured for everyone to sit.

Dis waited until everyone had settled. "Are you not the son of Belladonna Took who was the daughter of Thain Gerontius?" she asked.

"Yes, but I'm afraid that doesn't make me a prince. Your father was king. Mine held no political position."

"So would we not be princes in the Shire?" Kili asked with curiosity.

"No. Yes. Of course, you would," Bilbo said. "Your uncle is the king."

"Is not your uncle Isumbras now Thain?" Dis pointed out.

"Yes, but that's not the same."

"I don't understand how it's not the same," Fili commented. "Our grandfather ruled, like yours. Our mother is his daughter, like yours. Our uncle is the current ruler..."

"Like yours! We didn't realize we had so much in common," Kili said.

"No, no, no. You are your uncle's heirs. You will rule after him. I won't."

"Well, I won't," Kili added. "Fili will be king. So that makes you like me."

"But you're next in line. I'm something like twelfth in line to the Thainship. I don't even know for certain anymore. Just... something bad would have to happen to a lot of hobbits before I would even be considered for the thainship."

"But you are head of your house, are you not? Or do you call them clans?" Dis persisted.

"Head of my family, yes, but not a prince." Bilbo could tell by their barely repressed smiles that they were all amused by his frustration trying to explain this.

"Very well," she said. "We'll leave the semantics for now and settle for calling you Lord Baggins."

Bilbo sighed. If Lady Dis was half as clever as he anticipated her to be, she most likely had reasons for insisting on calling him by a title. It occurred to him she was probably trying to establish his rank much like Thorin was.

"As you like, my lady."

Dis smiled at his acquiescence. “Now, there’s no need to call me ‘my lady’. I can see your braids. We are family.”

Bilbo was a little surprised that she would say so. She didn’t really know him after all. “Then no need to call me anything but Bilbo.”

Dis’ smile widened. "As you like. It may interest you to know that we passed through the Shire and spoke with the Thain at some length. We discussed establishing trade."

"Ah… that explains how you are familiar with my family tree."

"He sends his greetings and several letters which are currently packed away. When we unload our carts tomorrow, I will have them delivered to you immediately."

"I wasn't sure if they had received my message."

"They did. They simply were not sure how to reach you in return. You did not provide them with much information on your whereabouts."

"Yes, well. At the time, I had my reasons. Bag End and Drogo, do you know..."

"All is explained in the letters," Dis said waving away Bilbo's worry. "There was, I believe some attempt by a distant kinswoman to claim some of your property..."

"Lobelia," Bilbo muttered.

"But the matter has been settled," Dis continued. "Rest assured, your property is safe." Kili coughed at his mother's sly mention of Bilbo's property.

“That’s wonderful news,” Bilbo said. “While I don’t see myself returning to the Shire for the foreseeable future, it’s good to know, my property is in good hands.”

“I’m glad to hear that you will be staying with us. My sons have told me about you. I have much to be thankful to you for.”

Bilbo wanted to look away. He still felt guilt for his choices. But he did not. "No thanks are necessary, my lady. I only did what I felt necessary."

"Indeed. Not everyone can stand in the face of such bold, and as you say, necessary decisions. You will have my thanks, nonetheless."

Bilbo bowed his head in acknowledgement. He felt the less said about the past, the better.

"And you honor us with your gift to our house, to our clan." Bilbo looked up unsure what she meant until he saw her gentle smile. "They say dwarrows keep their secrets, but I see your people keep their own."

Bilbo blushed. "It is rare. There hasn't been another like me in living memory."

"May I?" she asked gesturing towards Bilbo. He nodded and she rose to kneel by his seat. She gently lay her hands on him.

"It has been three years since our last birth amongst our own people. None that came with me are expecting. Surely it must mean something that you will be the first to bring a new life into the mountain. There!" she exclaimed as she felt the babe move. She laughed when the babe moved a second time. “Amazing!” When she looked up at Bilbo, there were tears in her eyes.

“When Vili died, I knew I would have no more children, that there would be no more to our family until my sons decided if they would give themselves to that kind of love. It is a difficult choice for us to make. We love deeply, so we may suffer deeply. My brother, I thought, would never make that choice because he lived for our people. And even if my sons did want it for themselves, they may never have had the chance to take it. You wave away my thanks because you do not see the many gifts you give us.”

Bilbo breathed for a moment, taking in what Dis said. She implied that she never thought Thorin would fall in love. That there might never had been more Durins from their line. Did she know that her sons had almost died?

There was so much he wanted to say back. Dwarves were not the only ones to love and suffer deeply. But he had no platitudes about love. Not when his own was in such disarray. What was the wise thing to say? These were really thoughts heavier than Bilbo knew how to deal with.

“We will look for the joy in days ahead then,” he decided out loud.

“Aye, that we can do,” Dis said as she stood and retook her seat.

Bilbo looked at Fili and Kili. They looked unsure at what had just happened. Well, that makes three of us, he thought. Four, he amended, seeing Thorin’s introspective face.

“I hope, then, you will be pleased to know that my brother has arranged for your belongings to be brought to you.”

Bilbo gasped and looked from Dis to Thorin. “But… you didn’t know where I was.”

“True, but he hoped you would return,” Dis supplied when Thorin didn’t speak.

“My things,” Bilbo said looking around, imagining his furniture in this suite.

“A great many of your things anyway. We could not bring everything, but we did bring your master bedroom suite, some of your dining and living furniture, a portion of your library. Your steward Drogo and Mistress Gamgee selected what would be brought.”

“Thorin… my things…” he breathed, incredulous, looking to Thorin.

“You are not angry?” Thorin asked hesitantly.

“No, heavens no! Those things,” he said at the edge of his seat in excitement, “they are the last connection to my parents that I have. I thought… I thought I had to give them up to stay here. You have brought a portion of my old home to my new. Please,” he said turning back to Dis, “can I see them now? Where are they?”

Thorin scooted to the edge of his chair, as if to stop Bilbo if necessary.

“Tomorrow, I’m afraid,” Dis said. “There is too much to sort through and everyone must rest now.”

“Of course,” Bilbo said, sitting further back in his chair. “You’re right, of course.”

It pained Thorin to hear the little bit of disappointment in Bilbo’s voice. “First thing tomorrow,” he promised. “I will have them bring up your things right after breakfast.”

“Oh, I’m sure that are more important things that must be handled first,” Bilbo balked.

“First thing,” Thorin said unwaveringly.

Bilbo nodded. “Thank you.” He knew that in the grand scheme of things, his belongings were not important, but they were important to him. And it was a relief. He felt a completeness to have that bit of connection back.

They spoke of lighter things for a while longer, the journey, the Shire, first impressions of Erebor, before they bid each other good night. Thorin however, lingered behind. It was Bilbo who again made the first move, taking Thorin’s hand and placing it on his belly. When he finished whatever he said, he looked up at Bilbo.

“I would not have any untruths between us. I cannot take the credit for your belongings being brought to you.”

Bilbo smiled. “It’s alright. I know. Your sister, she is a wily one.”

“How did you know?” Thorin asked surprised.

“None of you knew I was in Dale. You all wrote to the Shire thinking I had returned there. And it takes months to get here. You only found me, what, a week ago? My belongings were on their way long before you knew that I was still near.”

“You are not angry?”

“Truly, I am not. I’ll be happy to have my things around me. I know you think them silly, but they remind me of my parents. Having some of their things, it’ll be like having a piece of them with me.”

Thorin harrumphed in agreement. “I know now what you mean. When I first reentered my old rooms, things were just as I had left them. I found my mother’s silver comb. I had kept it after she had died. Finding it again…”

Bilbo squeezed Thorin’s hand. He was glad Thorin understood and glad Thorin had recovered a piece of his own parents.

Later when Thorin was undressing for bed, he remembered the mystery of his tunic. Holding it to his face, he smelled it again. It smelled more like him now, but he could still smell Bilbo’s scent on it. It was puzzling. He decided to ask Dori if he was using Bilbo’s soaps for his laundry. He went to place it with the rest of his laundry but hesitated. It smelled like Bilbo. He didn’t want to give it up, just in case. He folded it and set it on his desk instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I looked up etiquette and apparently a gentleman is presented to the lady, with some exceptions. I thought that interesting.
> 
> Also, I've seen Vili as Fili and Kili's dad's name floating around in several other fics. I thought I'd borrow that because a) it makes total sense and b) I suck at coming up with names.


	23. A Handmaiden's Tale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo meets more dams and has to accept that, yeah, he's gonna need help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are awesome! Your kudos and comments keep me motivated to keep writing so thanks for taking the time to say what you mean to say! (Sometimes some of you come really close to guessing where I want to go that I have to laugh evilly and not tell you anything lest I give it away.)

Bilbo woke up early the next morning, excitement buzzing in his veins. There were many new dwarves in the mountain which meant new faces. Dis was finally here and she was not angry with him, and his belongings were to be brought to him this morning.

He rushed through his ablutions and into his kitchen, whipping up fresh scones. He joined communal breakfast which was very lively. Everyone had their assignments. There were new recruits to orientate and assign, schedules to adjust. Everyone had to be fit into the reconstruction efforts while allowing for time to pursue their own crafts and build a new life.

As everyone rushed off, Bilbo returned to his rooms. It was only a moment before he was answering the door to find Dis.

"Good morning, brother!" she greeted him with a kiss to his cheek. He could barely get out a ‘good morning’ for all of his surprise. He had only ever been around male dwarves and their show of affection was a rather violent knocking together of heads. It had never occurred to him that the gentler sex of dwarves would be, well, gentler.

Dis swept past him followed by three dwarrowdams. One was dressed in leather armor and the other two were quite young. Dis motioned to the armored dam.

"This is my lady-in-waiting and shieldmaiden Bruni, daughter of Brodi and wife of Gloin."

Bilbo could see why Gloin continually sang the praises of his wife’s beauty. While Dis’ beauty was antithetical to typical dwarven features, Bruni’s beauty must be the dwarven ideal. She was a bit shorter and stockier. She made Dis appear lithe in comparison. Bruni’s hair was a deep red and was braided back into a thick, complex braid down her back. Her facial features were broad but even and quite pleasant. Her beard was braided with many beads and gems. Gloin had been right about her eyes. They did sparkle brightly like peridot in sunlight.

“Bilbo Baggins, at your service, my lady.” When Bruni bowed to him in return, he could see the axe and shield she had slung over her back.

Dis motioned for the two young dams to come forward. "This is Bruni's young cousin, Brundi," she said indicating the shyer, auburn haired dam. “And this is Nufi.” Both girls wore their hair loose except for a couple of braids, which were probably family braids, Bilbo thought.

“At your service,” Bilbo said, at a loss as to why Dis had brought these dams to meet him. He didn’t have to wonder for long.

“I have brought Brundi and Nufi to be your handmaidens. Brundi has been working in my household for four years now and Nufi’s grandmother attended my mother.”

Bilbo really hoped his face didn’t show his thoughts because the first one was an indignant ‘I am not a fair lady in need of a handmaiden!” He was sure, however, the shock did show.

“Thank you, but I already have a page. Knute serves as my guide and runs errands for me.”

“Yes and that is what a page is for. But you will need more than that. A page will not fix your tea to your liking or complete personal tasks that the housekeeping staff do not do. You are coming along in your pregnancy and soon you will need someone to help remove your boots or help you dress. A handmaiden will help you into and out of the bath when the babe becomes large enough to endanger your balance. She will be your hands and feet when the healer consigns you to bed rest.”

Bilbo noticed that Bruni was nodding in agreement with every one of Dis’ examples. He just didn’t know how comfortable he was with the idea of a handmaiden helping him into the bath. He sighed. This would be so much easier if he actually was female. But Dis was right. He would need help soon. All of the company were busy with their own responsibilities. He could not expect them to wait on him hand and foot if it became necessary. When it became necessary, as Dis seemed to believe.

"Perhaps we can give it a trial," he conceded.

"Good! Now, the letters from the thain will be brought up later. They are still locked up in the diplomatic chest. Your furniture will be arriving soon and best not to have correspondence laying about.”

Bilbo had just enough time to show them around the suite before Dori came with porters. The flurry of activity began as his furniture was brought in and some of the suite’s original furniture was removed. Between Dori, Dis and himself, they were able to confer and direct the incoming and outgoing traffic.

Most of the living room stayed and his own comfy chairs were added to the seating arrangement. His dining room table was small in comparison to the suite’s large table so his was placed in the spacious kitchen. It would provide familiarity where he ate most of his meals.

The bed was dismantled and removed. His own four poster bed was set up in its place. His dressers, chifferobes and personal desk replaced their counterparts. He set Brundi and Nufi to moving what items were in the old furniture into the new and unpacking crates full of his Shire wardrobe and other bedroom items.

The furniture from his old room, before he had moved into his parents’ room, was placed in the spare bedroom. Crates of books were stacked in a corner of his room until bookshelves could be found, his having been left behind.

After everyone had gone, Bilbo set about unpacking some of the miscellaneous crates. The girls were working in the bedrooms. He was humming to himself. The crate he was working on was packed with straw, it's contents wrapped to protect them. When the first delicate teacup was revealed, he stopped, tears welling in his eyes. It was his mother’s china tea service. His heart swelled. Funny how a small cup can make one so happy, he mused. He was so lost in thought, he didn't hear Brundi calling him.

"Lord Baggins.... Lord Baggins... are you alright?"

"Hmmm?" he said turning to her.

Brundi gave him a small smile. "We're done in the bedroom. What else would you like us to do?"

Bilbo wiped his eyes. "Perhaps we need a break, get some fresh air. Why don't you both come outside and I'll show you the goats."

Bilbo led them out, chatting about the garden and the goats. They played with the kid while Bilbo milked the doe.  Afterwards, he turned the goats out into the paddock. Knute was waiting with a message from Thorin asking if they could join him for lunch. He sent back his response. He and the girls then set the kitchen to rights, finishing just as Dori appeared with his staff to set up lunch in the dining room.

"I'll take your girls. I'll show them what they'll need to know if they're to serve you. Then they can go to lunch with my staff," Dori said. "I'll send them back to you this afternoon."

As they left, the Durin family came in. Fili carried a stack of letters tied together. He set them on the side board while they sat down for lunch. They spoke about their day and the goings-on for a while before Dis asked how the girls were doing so far.

"Oh very well. They're both hard working but honestly, I don't know what to do with them. We're about done with the unpacking and then what will they do? Also, what do I pay them? I don't know what these kind of arrangements entail."

"Not to worry," Dis said. "They are paid out of the household budget. Dori will take care of it. Just do everything you would normally do. If they don't know it already, they can learn it. Anything you teach them is a skill gained and can be of use to them later. They need to know all you do so that they can when you are unable."

"I guess they can help with the sewing. And there's still work to be done in the nursery. They could be of help at market," Bilbo said thoughtfully.

"Teach them to milk your goat," Thorin said.

"Nary a goat herder to found then?" Bilbo teased.

After lunch, Dis remained and opened the parcel of letters. "Some of these are personal correspondence or are from your steward. These with the Thain's seal," she said separating out several thick sheaves, "we need you to review as soon as possible. The Thain has appointed you his representative in negotiations. He said you were familiar with much of this information."

"Yes," said Bilbo, sorting through the stack. "My father had quite the head for numbers and assisted my grandfather. When Father passed, the task fell to me. It's all relatively simple things like making sure we had enough food storage per capita, some legal contracts of minor importance, negotiations, things of that nature."

Dis watched him thoughtfully. "Hmmm... well, when you are versed on the details, we'll set up a meeting for the formal negotiation.

He spent the rest of the afternoon reviewing his letters. He dismissed Brundi and Nufi early so that they could get ready for the feast. He penned his goats, then bathed and readied himself. He had just finished brushing his feet when Balin arrived to escort him.

Bilbo was nervous the entire way down to the Hall of Kings. This wasn’t like standing on the battlements watching Thorin give a rousing speech. This was going to be everyone focused on him. He concentrated on breathing evenly while Balin led him down to the front. There were steps leading up to the raised dais. Most of the company were gathered there.

Bilbo greeted everyone but was distracted by the numbers of dwarves flowing into the hall. The noise level rose as everyone chatted until the seventh evening bell rang. With the high ceiling of the hall, the sound echoed and reverberated in deep tones. Everyone stilled and turned to face the front. From the side, Thorin, Fili and Kili emerged in their royal finery. They walked to the center of the dais, Fili standing just behind Thorin on his left, Kili on his right. Dwalin and a page took up station further behind them. Bilbo could see that the page was holding out a pillow.

The large hall doors he had come though opened, having been closed at some point. The crowd turned at the sound. Framed in the doorway in a deep blue dress, her fur cloak thrown over her shoulders, stood Dis. She stepped forward and the crowd parted before her. Her head held high, she marched down the long isle in measured steps. Bruni, dressed in green velvet and shining silver armor followed just behind and to her left.

When she reached the dais, Dis and Bruni bowed to Thorin. He spoke and they rose unison. Thorin continued speaking, his rich timbre echoing through the chamber.

Ori leaned in to whisper, "he's formally welcoming her home, back into the bosom of the mountain. It's difficult to translate into Westron."

"It's alright, Ori. I get the gist,” Bilbo assured him.

He listened eagerly, never having witnessed such a ceremony before. He wished he could have seen the ceremony involving Fili and Kili. He watched as the page moved to Thorin’s side. Dis moved to kneel in front of Thorin. Thorin took a necklace with a large pendant gemstone and draped it carefully over Dis’ intricate braids to settle it around her neck. He slipped rings onto her fingers, saying something before he placed each piece. Finally, he held up a gold coronet studded with large sapphires.

“He’s formally pronouncing her as Princess of Erebor,” Ori whispered as Thorin lowered the coronet onto Dis’ head. He took her hand and she rose, turning to stand at his right, Kili moving back a step to accomodate her. Bruni moved to stand opposite Dwalin behind them. As the royal family stood, finally complete, the crowd bowed and began cheering.

Dwaves are very loud, Bilbo thought but even he was clapping vigorously. He smiled and tears welled up in his eyes. Here was the fulfilment of Thorin’s dream for his family. The cheering went on for some minutes before Thorin raised his arms to silence the crowd.

“This is your part,” Ori whispered loudly. Bilbo’s eyes widened in sudden nervousness. “Don’t worry. I’m going up with you to translate.” Bilbo nodded and forced himself to breathe. He straightened his dwarven tunic and overcoat. He’d even worn his soft boots so he wouldn’t look completely out of place.

Thorin turned to look where Bilbo stood. “Sanbâh Melekûn… Lord Bilbo Baggins of the Shire…” Ori took his elbow and urged him forward as Thorin continued in Khuzdul. Bilbo was so focused on breathing and not panicking that he wouldn’t remember bowing in front of Thorin or what Ori whispered to him. He would only vaguely recall kneeling and Thorin placing a ring on his own hand. Thorin helped him stand, placing him on his right side. The crowd was silent as Thorin said more of which Bilbo caught the word for mother and rayadith. He repeated it to himself so he would remember the word. There was applause and cheering that only got louder when Thorin announced the feast.

As dwarves began flowing out to the dining halls, Bilbo turned to Thorin. “What was that last bit? I thought I heard the word for mother.”

“I announced that you are the mother-to-be of my child and heir. I apologize, but Kili is right. There is no word for child bearer other than mother.”

“Oh sweet apples! You mean everyone knows that we… and we’re not…”

“I assure you, it’s not unseemly as you fear it to be,” said Dis as the royal family closed in. “It is an honor amongst our kind.”

Bilbo tried not to blush further and just nodded. “Congratulations, Princess Dis,” he said instead.

“And to you, Lord Baggins, lord of two realms,” she replied with a sly smile. “Honor is heaped upon you tonight.”

“And well deserved,” Thorin rumbled as he tucked Bilbo’s arm into his own and began walking toward the dining halls. Everyone fell in place around them as they moved. 

“What is… rayadith?” he asked.

“Rayad means heir,” Dis explained. “Fili, as the highest ranking heir, is rayadel.”

“And your little one and I are rayadith, lower or younger heirs,” added Kili.

“But you remember I asked you…” Bilbo started, looking up at Thorin.

“I do remember,” Thorin cut him off. “It will be discussed in the days to come. There is no rush to decide.”

The dining halls were ablaze with light and noise. A cheer went up when the royal family entered and walked up to the dais where a long, u-shaped table sat. The company was already standing behind their chairs on the wings, waiting. Thorin pulled Bilbo with him to the center spot and sat him at his right. There was a buzz and Bilbo wondered exactly what Thorin was communicating by sitting him at his side instead of Dis. After Thorin sat, everyone else took seats and the noise changed from chatter to the clatter of plates and cups. Bilbo turned to find Brundi standing behind his chair.

“What are you doing up here, my dear? Shouldn’t you be enjoying the feast?”

“I’m to wait upon you,” she replied.

“Oh, tosh. You go on and find your family. I’m sure I’ll be fine. Go on now.” He shooed her away with his hands when she seemed uncertain.

The rest of the night was a warm blur. Many nobles came up to speak to Thorin or Dis and he was introduced to many of them. Some seemed uncertain about him, but being bracketed by the king and the princess kept anything ontoward from being spoken. The company members were interspered on the dias with other dwarves. Being somewhat separated didn’t stop any of them from shouting across tables.

Bilbo often turned back from talking to someone to find Thorin holding a platter so it would not pass him by. When he began refusing platters, Thorin looked concerned. “Are you sure? Are you not feeling well?”

“Oh no, I’m fine,” Bilbo assured him with a smile. “The babe just presses on my stomach. I can’t fit as much in there as I used to. I’ll be hungry again soon enough.”

At some point musicians appeared, walking among the hall. A few came and played in the space in front of their table. Bilbo clapped and cheered for all of them. Finally, he turned to Thorin, covering a yawn.

“I think I’ve reached my limit. If I don’t retire now, I think I’ll fall asleep on my plate.”

Thorin stood to help Bilbo up. “I’ll escort you to your rooms.”

“No, no,” he protested, patting Thorin’s arm. “You stay. It’s been a wonderful night. It’d be a shame for you to miss any of it.” Thorin gestured to Bifur as Bilbo leaned over to wish Dis goodnight. When he turned back, Brundi was waiting as well. The three walked back to Bilbo’s room, talking about the merriment of the evening. Bilbo tried to dismiss Brundi but she insisted on staying. She sat him down and helped him remove his boots. She left him sighing and wiggling his toes on a cushioned ottoman while she made him a cup of tea.

“You go on back,” he urged her after she had him situated. “And sleep in late tomorrow!”

“But Lord Baggins...,” she protested.

“Please, just Bilbo will do. And I’ll be sleeping late myself so you needn’t worry. Go on now and have a good time.” He smiled encouragingly at her as she slowly turned and left.

He sat smiling to himself for a while, holding out his hand to admire his new ring and remembering moments from throughout the night with Thorin. He sighed. No, they weren’t married but at least Thorin made sure that he had a place at his side. With that thought, he took himself to bed.

Over the next week, Bilbo did as Dis suggested. Brundi and Nufi showed up each day after breakfast. They cleared away whatever minor tasks Bilbo had for them and followed him around like chicks. They sewed with him, baked with him, went with him to market, followed of course by Bifur. He even taught them to tend the goats.  

He asked them questions about themselves, wanting to get to know them. Brundi was very open and though shy, chatted with Bilbo freely. Nufi, he noticed, kept to herself. She also didn't seem to take to some of the tasks. She did not appear to like the docile goats and they in turn did not take to her, being obstinate in her care. Brundi offered to take over that task as she liked the small animals. Where Brundi was willing to learn whatever Bilbo set for them, Nufi sometimes frowned at the work.

One afternoon, Dis stopped by with two servants bearing a large chest. "Your mother's linens were mixed with mine," she explained. Bilbo excitedly rooted through the chest, pulling out some of the bed linens.

"I'll take these to the girls, if you don't mind," said Bilbo, excusing himself for a moment. "Dori has assigned them some light housekeeping to keep them busy." He picked up the sheets, fingering their soft texture as he walked to the bedroom. He stopped just outside the door when he heard the girls talking.

"What? It's true! I thought we would be doing more glamorous things, like accompanying him to court or parties like Lady Bruni does with the princess. I didn't think I'd be a common housekeeper," complained Nufi.

"We're his handmaidens, not ladies-in-waiting," said Brundi.

"Well, he's no lady. You should hear some of the things they say about him in the taverns!"

"We've only been here a week and you've already been to more than one?"

"Of course! There's this one called the Black Boar. A lot of soldiers from the Iron Hills drink there. When I told them I worked for Lord Baggins, some of them said that he's no lord. They say he's just a common thief that happened to charm the king into bed. They don't believe that he did everything they say and that he's not really pregnant but I told them that part is true enough. They said it’s probably some kind of dark magic and that..."

"You really shouldn't repeat such things," interrupted Brundi, chidingly.

"You really shouldn't," said the stern voice of Dis stepping from behind Bilbo into the room. Bilbo peeked in behind Dis and watched as both girls blushed and bowed. “Why would you expect to become a lady-in-waiting if you could not even be a respectable handmaiden? Everyone knows that the first thing a handmaiden is is faithful and yet you could not even be that.”

Nufi’s face was red but it didn’t seem to be embarrasment. Her hands were turned into fists and held ridgedly at her side.

“I had hoped that your grandmother had taught you how a proper handmaiden should act. I had hoped for her sake you would flourish in our household. But now I see that’s not possible. I find that we no longer require your services. Please leave,” said Dis.

Nufi’s head snapped up at Dis’ command. She huffed and began stomping her way out of the room. Dis hand shot out and stopped her at the doorway.

“If I find that you have been telling tales, you will deeply regret it.” Dis held Nufi’s gaze until she cowed. Nufi nodded and Dis let her pass. She looked at Bilbo angrily as she left. Bilbo returned her gaze with a sad one of his own. He understood Nufi had brought this upon herself by her lack of discretion, but it still saddened him.

Dis turned back to Brundi who looked shamed. “Don’t worry, my dear. This is not your fault. You did as you ought.” Brundi looked apologetically at Bilbo.

“It’s alright. You couldn’t know we would hear you. Nufi is responsible for her own words and it’s her actions alone that got her dismissed. The princess is right. You were the very definition of faithful. Thank you for defending me. Why don’t you finish up here and then you can leave early today?”

“But the afternoon tea…” Brundi began.

“I’ll be fine. There’s really nothing else to worry about today.”

Dis followed Bilbo to the kitchen. “I apologize for any distress, brother. I took on Nufi as a favor to her grandmother, but I see now why she needed a sponsor.”

“There’s no need to apologize,” said Bilbo as he filled the tea kettle. “You are no more responsible than poor Brundi. I already knew there were rumors about me.” Bilbo gave her a cynical smile. “There were rumors about me in the Shire as well. I guess I’ve just always been the odd man out.” Dis frowned not happy about today’s turn of events. She resolved to speak to Thorin about it.

Bilbo actually beat her to it. When Thorin stopped by that night, he could tell Bilbo was troubled. He was able to coax the story out of him as they sat side by side.

“I guess I should be used to it,” Bilbo concluded, sighing heavily. It pained Thorin to see Bilbo’s mood darkened. He didn’t know what words he could offer but he remembered well enough about physical comfort. He reached his arm around Bilbo and pulled him flush against his side. At first Bilbo stiffened, unsure. But after a few moments, his body relaxed against Thorin. He sat with one hand on Bilbo’s shoulder and the other slowly rubbing his tummy. Thorin began to hum absently. Bilbo turned further into his side and after a while, Thorin could tell he had fallen asleep.

He didn’t want to move, not when Bilbo was cradled against him. But once the fire died and it began to cool in the room, he gently lifted Bilbo and carried him to bed. He made sure to bank the embers in the fireplace and bolt the door before he slipped back through the secret door to his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Neo-Khuzdul from the Dwarrow Scholar's Neo-Khuzdul dictionary. I bent the meanings just a wee bit. A wee, wee bit.


	24. Morning Glory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seriously, the sacrifices Thorin has to make for the good of others... ahem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Overdramatic Thorin being overdramatic. And more fluff than you can shake a stick at.
> 
> I debated this chapter, thought it might not be serious enough. Then I thought, who am I kidding. It's not that kind of a fic. Fluff away.

 The next week was very busy for Bilbo. There was always something to be done but he didn’t feel overwhelmed, not with Brundi helping him. She was very eager to learn and work. Bilbo felt he was adjusting to having both her and Knute around when Fili brought another young dwarfling by one afternoon. He looked to be half of Brundi's age.

"This is Hruf. He's to help you in the garden. He will come every day or as you need him in the afternoon after his schooling." Fili explained how Hruf had not yet chosen a craft.  "Which is fine," he said patting Hruf's shoulder. "There's still plenty of time to choose."  Seeing Bilbo's unasked question he elaborated.

"Some dwarves just know what their craft will be from a very young age. We say they are called to that craft. Some don't have a calling. They may choose a craft they like or are good at or they may follow in their family craft, like Bofur and Dori. Kee and I were lucky. He's a jeweler like Amad, and I'm a swordsmith like Uncle, so we were able to learn while they worked. A lot of younger dwarves don't have a craft because they had no teacher or master who could take them on or they had to work to make ends meet. But Uncle's reopened the schools and settled with the guilds so everyone can have a craft, if they want it."

Bilbo wondered about Brundi, if she had a craft or had ever had the opportunity to learn one. He resolved to ask her later about it.

"All of the dwarflings have basic schooling in the mornings," Fili continued. "If they have chosen a craft, they'll go to their hall for learning in the afternoon. Uncle's guaranteeing work to any who want it since there's so much to do still. Some of the younglings, like Hruf here, are taking jobs until they make their choice."

Bilbo was more than happy to accept the help. He took Hruf outside, showing him the garden and explaining about his layout, the plants that were flowering and the seedlings he had only recently started. They did some basic weeding and watering and began working on preparing another plot. Bilbo had thought he would not get to expand his garden immediately, but with Hruf's assistance, he was willing to make the effort.

He also spent time working on building a trade agreement for the Shire. He arranged for a tour of the guild halls to examine all sorts of merchandise and goods that the dwarves were now turning out. He had a couple of meetings with Dis to begin negotiations.

Before he knew it, the week had passed and Oin was knocking on his door, Thorin in tow. Bilbo sighed, lowering his teacup into the saucer. He knew why they were here. He sent Brundi out on an errand and led Oin back to the bedroom.

When they emerged, Bilbo was dragging his feet, walking slowly behind Oin who already had the measuring twine in his hand. From the look on their faces, Thorin could already tell something wasn't right. Before he could ask, Oin was pulling the twine around Bilbo’s middle. It stopped just where he had knotted it the previous examination. Bilbo fiddled with his hands while Thorin stared at the knot. It was several moments before he could speak.

“What does this mean?” he asked, his voice thick with uncertainty.

“He’s not growing. This late in a pregnancy, we should be able to see growth, and I mean actually see it, but ...,” Oin said gesturing to Bilbo.

“Maybe you're just not measuring on the right place,” Bilbo offered nervously.

Oin gave Bilbo a disparaging look. “I am not a 30 year old dwarfling just learning how to take measurements,” he said testily.

“Of course not. I didn’t mean…” Bilbo tapered off weakly, taking a seat.

“The babe?” Thorin asked.

“Fine as far as I can tell. I honestly don't know what impact this will have.”

“What can be done?”

“There are tisanes we give some expecting mothers, to bolster health. There’s not much else we can do other than let the pregnancy take it’s course. I don't know anything about a mixed birth. Never had any.”

To Thorin’s ear, Oin’s words sounded with almost a foresight of doom. How could the babe be well if he wasn't growing? He sank to knees in front of Bilbo. “You said your being here would help,” he said.

“It has. It does. I feel better than I have for some time. I swear it,” he said earnestly looking down at Thorin.

“Apparently not enough. Is there something we’re missing or that you haven’t told us,” Oin asked. “Something your people know?” Bilbo fidgeted in his chair. Thorin, who was always focused on Bilbo, noticed.

“What aren’t you telling us?” he asked. Bilbo chewed his lip nervously. He knew but he wasn't sure if it was something Thorin would be willing to do. He wasn’t sure if he could even ask for it given the uncertainty of their current relationship.

Thorin watched Bilbo. There was definitely something but for some reason he was hesitating to mention it. "Anything, Bilbo. Whatever it is. I'll do it or I'll have it done."

"I don't know if you'd want to..." Bilbo started slowly.

Thorin took his hands. "Anything. I swear it."

"It's you." For a moment, Thorin looked confused. It was him? Had he done something wrong? Something he maybe didn't realize?

"I’m most completely… that is to say, I’m more… things, lots of things, when I’m with you, because… because… well, let’s just say it’s very helpful. I thought being around you, even a little bit, would be enough but you're not here most of the time, which is fine. I know you're very busy. You have more important things to do and I don't want to disturb you. So I..." Bilbo's cheeks pinked and he looked down. "I tried fixing it on my own. I took one of your tunics. I thought if I had it, if I had your scent while I slept, it'd be as if you were with me. It helped, a little. I have been sleeping better but I guess it's not enough if it's not you."

None of that made any sense to Thorin. There was only one part that he caught ahold of. "My tunic? How did you..."

"The door in the bedroom. I’m terribly sorry about that. I had hoped it would work."

"That's why it smelled like you," Thorin said finally understanding his little mystery.

"What you're saying, then," said Oin clearing his throat, "is that you need what? More time with Thorin?" Thorin looked up at Bilbo trying not to look too hopeful.

"Yes and since he's not available during the day, it would be better if… if we slept together. I mean, in the same bed... at night... when we're sleeping," Bilbo hurried to clarify. “It’s akin to the familial proximity thing, only... more, ” he finished lamely.

“And this is sure to help?” Oin asked doubtfully. "It doesn't seem to have worked so far."

“You know what? Nevermind. I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Bilbo was already mortified. To attempt to make them understand was only going to make him more so.

“No. No,” Thorin said strongly to Bilbo then to Oin. “If this can possibly help, we will attempt it.”

"The thing is," Bilbo said twisting the edge of his tunic in his hands, "with you and me, you are like, well you are my closest relative, because it's as if you are my... my husband." The silence in the room seemed to blare loudly.  He could feel the weight of Oin and Thorin's stares but he kept his eyes on his hands as he rambled on. "I know you don't feel that way and we never talked about it and you certainly aren't obligated in any way..."

"I don't understand. What are you saying?" Thorin asked looking up at Bilbo, the confusion written across his face.

"It's my fault. I shouldn't have. It was too soon but I... I wanted to and... " Bilbo could tell he was only making Thorin more confused. "Hobbits don't... that is, we choose and we only choose once. And I chose you and that's why it has to be you."

Thorin's heart beat was a loud, slow thump in his ears. "Choose? Choose what? Are you saying... you're saying I'm your One?"

"Sort of, in the sense that I will never have another."

"I'm your One," Thorin repeated tonelessly. Bilbo cringed. He maybe had been too precipitant on his choice but the depth of his feelings for Thorin had made him confident that there would never be anyone else.  The way Thorin was reacting, Bilbo wasn't sure anymore if Thorin felt the same way.

"Oh Mahal! Is there no end to the suffering I cause?” Thorin groaned, circling arms around Bilbo and burying his head in Bilbo’s lap. “I’m sorry. This is all my fault.”

Bilbo quickly looked over at Oin and became only more alarmed when Oin went to the door and hurriedly instructed Knute to fetch something from his infirmary. “What’s happened?” he demanded.

“You’re his One,” Oin said seriously. “You say he is yours, but he rejected you, that day on the gates. Sometimes, when the bond is strong, it is not unheard of for the rejected one to have negative physical manifestations.”

"You mean that they can become ill? You think I might be suffering some negative… manifestations?" Bilbo was taken off-guard by this assumption. Thorin’s arms closed tighter around Bilbo, continuing his self-reproof in low, mumbling tones. “But I’m not a dwarf,” Bilbo objected. “And that wasn't really him. He didn’t really reject me."

"Aye, lad. He turned his back on ye, whether he was in his right mind or not. Does nae matter. We’ll not chance it,” Oin said as he walked into the kitchen. Bilbo could hear him filling the tea kettle and clattering it onto the stove.

“This is not your fault,” Bilbo said over Thorin’s bowed head, tentatively stroking his fingers through Thorin’s hair.

“It is. My cursed madness drove me to anger and hate and I sent you away. Everything that has happened is my fault."

"Thorin..."

"You don't understand." Thorin straightened up to look at Bilbo. "It happens. When one leaves the other. When Vili died, their bond had been so deep, Dis was weakened. It took her some time to recover."

"But I'm not a dwarf. Surely I am not affected the same way."

"You bond to your loved ones. You need to be near them. Is it so different? Do you know sometimes at night, I can still feel you? I thought it was just me but now I wonder."

Bilbo took Thorin's hands. "This is my fault. I should have said something but I didn't think you would want to, that it would be too uncomfortable since we’re not… together anymore. I didn't want you to feel obliged."

"You have to know... for you, I'd do anything. You have only to ask it of me." Thorin reached up to cup Bilbo's face. Bilbo closed his eyes and leaned into the touch. In the silence, he could hear his own heartbeat fall into a steady and strong rhythm. This is what he wanted, what he needed. He stayed as he was, Thorin's hand warm against his face. It was only when Knute rushed in that Bilbo opened his eyes and pulled back. Thorin pointed him to the kitchen.

"I could see it," he said, his words slow with surprise when he turned back to Bilbo.

"See what?"

Thorin skimmed his fingers across the cheek he had held. "The effect you say it has on you. I don't know how to describe it, but watching you closely.... I could see it."

Bilbo used both hands to hold Thorin's arm still as he nestled his cheek back against Thorin's palm. "It makes me feel... steadier... stronger." Thorin didn't remove his hand from Bilbo's grasp. Bilbo didn't know how much time lapsed before Oin rejoined them, handing Bilbo a large copper mug.

"Drink all of that then," he ordered.

Bilbo eyed the contents suspiciously. It was a brown liquid but with a thicker consistency somewhere between milk and cream. He swirled it around. "This isn't a tisane. This is something else. What is it?"

"Call it a concoction, then. Just drink it. It's nutritional and medicinal." They stared at each for a few moments before Bilbo relented and cautiously took a drink. His smacked his lips in delight. It tasted of sweet lemon.

"This is actually really good," he said taking a longer draught. Oin harrumphed.

"I'll send it up twice a day. It has to be freshly prepared. Not all of them well be this tasty but you're to drink all of it." Bilbo nodded as he swallowed his mouthful. "So what did you decide?"

"We'll do as he suggests," Thorin said.

"Well then, hammer out the details. I expect you to follow through tonight," Oin said gathering up his things and turning to leave.

Thorin took his seat beside Bilbo. "When do you..."

"I have been going to bed by the tenth bell," Bilbo supplied.

"And uh... where?"

"It would probably be best if we slept in my room. I'd be more comfortable there." Thorin nodded. "Just come through the adjoining door when you're ready. It won't disturb anyone that way."

"Discretion, yes," Thorin said clearing his throat.

"I would rather your nephews not make assumptions. You know how they are.”

"You're right, of course."

Brundi returned from her errand and Thorin returned to his duties. They didn’t see each other again until dinner. Bilbo obediently drank his concoction while Thorin threw him speculative looks. Fili noticed and elbowed Kili motioning between the two. They watched for some exchange but neither said anything of note to the other.

The Durins visited Bilbo for some time after dinner as Dis, Thorin and Bilbo discussed the ongoing negotiations for the Shire trade agreement. At the ninth bell, Dis said her goodnight, pulling her sons behind her. Thorin stayed behind just long enough to confirm Bilbo hadn’t changed his mind before retreating to his rooms for his nightly ablutions.

At the tenth bell, he knocked on the adjoining door. Bilbo called for him to enter. Thorin brushed aside the tapestry as he stepped into Bilbo’s room.

“We may have to move that,” Bilbo noted as he ran a hairbrush through his curls.

“It’s no bother. You may want to leave it. My rooms can get quite chilled. It probably keeps a draft back.”

Bilbo hummed in acknowledgement as he set his brush down. He smoothed down his pajama top and turned to face Thorin. If they were going to do this, then they were going to do this. No quibbling, he told himself.

“Where do you want me?” Thorin asked stepping up to the bed.

“Over on the right. I prefer the left.” They walked around the bed, trading places. Thorin, unsure of what to do, waited until Bilbo lifted the blankets and mirrored his movements.

"It's better if we face each other," Bilbo instructed. Thorin turned on his side and waited while Bilbo positioned himself. He was nervous, wanting to do this right for Bilbo but he was also excited because he was in bed with Bilbo. This was actually something they’d not experienced before. They’d slept together when traveling but bed rolls were a far cry from an actual bed and Bilbo’s seemed to take fluffy beds to another level entirely.

"If you could ...lift your arm," Bilbo said scooting until he was close to Thorin and then there it was, just like in his daydreams, Bilbo, lying next to him and their child a solid presence between them. He carefully laid his arm across Bilbo's waist.

"Are you comfortable?" he asked as Bilbo did a final bout of wiggling to get himself perfectly cushioned.

"Yes... just... there," Bilbo said breathing out.

They lay in silence for a few moments before Thorin asked," now what?"

"Now we go to sleep." This felt awkward to Bilbo. Not like how they were before when laying together felt easy and natural. He could tell Thorin was tense. Bilbo closed his eyes and tried remembering how it used to be. He took a deep breath, concentrating on Thorin's warmth and scent.

Thorin heard Bilbo's soft hum and felt his body relax. He, in turn, willed himself to relax. It was fine. Bilbo was fine, he told himself. As the minutes passed, it felt less awkward and he could hear Bilbo's breathing slow.

"This is nice," Bilbo murmured drowsily.

Bilbo may have been drifting off to sleep but Thorin was only becoming more awake. He was very conscious of the warm body in his arms, the soft honey and flowery scents coming off Bilbo's hair and skin. Most of all, he was conscious of the outline and curves pressed against him. He allowed himself to just take in the sensory experience. He had to agree with Bilbo. This was nice, better than nice. He could do this every day for eternity if it was what Bilbo wanted. He was so busy musing on it that he almost missed Bilbo’s last drowsy words as he fell asleep.

“Missed you.”

~

Thorin was disciplined to wake at a certain hour. When he opened his eyes, he knew it was the sixth hour without the aid of Bilbo’s clock. He was in the same position he’d been in when he fell asleep, Bilbo snuggled as close as he could manage against his chest. Not wanting to prematurely wake Bilbo, he stayed still, contenting himself watching Bilbo’s little movements.

Sometime in the eighth hour, he decided he would wait as long as it took for Bilbo to wake on his own. As Bilbo was usually at breakfast, he should wake at any time. By the ninth hour, he was wondering if maybe he shouldn’t just slip out of bed. But then, he argued with himself, the point was to be available for Bilbo and for the babe. Closing in on the tenth hour, he was fighting off a panic. Why wasn’t Bilbo awake yet? Had something gone wrong?

His thoughts were cut off when he heard voices in his room, muffled by the door and tapestry. Few people had access to his rooms. He was reluctant to get up to investigate. It became moot when the door was opened and Kili’s head emerged from behind the tapestry.

“I win!” he said excitedly as Thorin shushed him. Fili’s head appeared as he pushed Kili out of his way.

“You don’t know that yet!”

“I totally win. Look at them!” Thorin growled an aggressive shush but it was Dis emerging behind them that shut the boys up. She shoved them back into Thorin’s chamber and shut the door behind them.

“Do you mind?” Thorin said to her as she crossed her arms.

“I’m sure I don’t,” she said cooly, “but others were understandably worried when you didn’t appear for breakfast or your morning meetings. Brundi could not get into Bilbo’s rooms either so you’ll understand our concern.”

“He’s usually awake by now. Is something wrong? Should we summon Oin?” Thorin asked frowning down at Bilbo’s still form.

“I suspect he’s simply more tired than he let on. Creating a new being takes energy and you can only renew that by eating and sleeping.” Dis watched her concerned brother for a few moments. “I’ll reschedule your meetings. Stay as long as you like,” she smirked as she turned to go.

“If he doesn’t wake by noon, send Oin,” Thorin called softly.

It wasn’t long before Bilbo began to stir. He flipped onto his back, stretching, his eyes still closed, before he tried to snuggle back into the blanket cavity he had made. Thorin knew the exact moment he gained full consciousness because he stilled.

“I thought you were wearing a shirt,” Bilbo croaked, clearing his throat.

“I was until you kept trying to crawl into it,” Thorin explained.

“Oh dear.”

“Is that something that’s going to happen often?”

“Probably. I maybe should have mentioned doing this skin to skin is better.”

“Maybe we should talk about everything you haven’t mentioned,” Thorin suggested tilting Bilbo’s face up. He rather liked the pink flush across his cheeks. It was very tempting to lean in and kiss it.

“There’s nothing else, I don’t think,” Bilbo assured him.

Thorin nodded in acknowledgement. “Do you think it worked?”

“Too soon to tell,” Bilbo said sitting up and yawning until he caught sight of the clock. “Gracious!” he said scrambling out of bed. “I didn’t realize it was so late. Heavens but the day’s half gone and there’s so much to be done today,” he rambled as he gathered clothing. Thorin watched him fuss before he disappeared into the bathing room. He threw his legs over the side of the bed wondering if he should leave as Bilbo peeked back into the room.

“My apologies! I don’t know what’s gotten into me today. I won’t be long if you would like to join me for elevensies,” he said before disappearing back into the bathing room. He didn’t see Thorin’s rare, full grin.

He could definitely do this every day for eternity, Thorin thought as he returned to his own rooms to bathe.

 


	25. Housekeeping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait! This is just a couple of little things that needed to happen.

The second night was no less embarrassing for Bilbo than the first. When Thorin entered his room, he was wearing a thick dressing gown. After they turned down the blankets on the bed, Thorin slid off the dressing gown and neatly laid it across a nearby chair. Bilbo, who had not been watching Thorin disrobe, turned back and choked. Thorin was only wearing his smalls and not the pajamas he'd worn the previous night. Bilbo was only able to get out a feeble "wha?" as he stared.

"You said skin contact was better," Thorin explained calmly. "And after last night, I thought it best..." He cleared his throat. "This is for the health of our child so..."

Bilbo was already nodding in agreement. "Yes, yes, of course. You're right." Agreeing with Thorin didn't make him any less discomposed as he lifted his night shift off  over his head and crawled into the bed. He didn't hesitate to nestle up to Thorin though. It had felt too good being close to him. He wasn't going to kid himself about that.

When he awoke, he was content just to lie still for a bit longer. He'd moved in the night. Thorin's body was now tightly pressed against his back, his arm a heavy but comforting weight holding them together with Thorin's large hand cupping his belly. He could feel the warm press of Thorin's skin against his own seemingly everywhere. It felt amazing. He sighed and closed his eyes, falling back asleep.

The second time he awoke, he was in the same position. He slowly turned his head to find Thorin reclined on his elbow drowsily watching him.

"Being here like this, it makes me feel like I should sleep more," Thorin said softly, his voice hoarse. Bilbo knew what Thorin had almost always been the first one up on their journey. The burden of responsibility made him feel like he had to give more, work longer and harder than others.

"It'd probably be a good idea," Bilbo said leaning back onto Thorin a little more so he could see him better. "You need more rest."

"It's peaceful like this. Well, it was after you settled down."

"Was I restless?"

"Some. It was like you were trying to get closer but you couldn’t. This was getting in your way,” he said rubbing Bilbo’s belly. “Once I turned you like this, like you said, all of the skin contact settled you. After that you didn't move at all."

"Hmmm, it is nice," Bilbo said, snuggling into his pillow, relaxing his body. They didn't speak for a few moments. Bilbo just breathed. This close to Thorin, he was surrounded by his scent and his warmth. He didn't want to move.

Thorin didn't want to move either. He was trying to breathe normally but take in as much of Bilbo's sweet scent as he could. He was lucky Bilbo wasn't really paying attention or he might have noticed.

After some minutes, Bilbo sighed. "I suppose we ought to get up. Both of us have things to accomplish today."

Thorin's hum of acknowledgement was more like a growl of discontent. "We'll stay as long as you like. Nothing else is so important it can't be handled by someone else." His arm tightened around Bilbo just enough for him to notice and smile into his pillow.

"Another time, perhaps. We're already awake," he said rising slowly out of Thorin's hold. When he reached the edge of the bed he turned back and briefly clasped Thorin's hand. "Thank you. Stay for breakfast, won't you?" he asked before he disappeared into the bathing chamber.

~~~~~

Thorin spent the day paying only half attention to whatever was placed in front of him. The thought of Bilbo encased completely in his arms, actually content to lie there held him captive all day. No one mentioned it, but they all noticed his distraction. He was a gentler, more patient Thorin. Most everyone he interacted with gave him perplexed looks but kept any comments to themselves. They didn't want to ruin a good thing.

Fili and Kili, however, were all smirks and whispered remarks. When Thorin was finally fed up with it, he fixed them with his stare. "What?" he demanded.

"Nothing," Kili replied innocently.

"Did you sleep well, Uncle?" Fili asked.

Thorin growled in warning but kept scratching away at his paperwork.

"It's just that you looked pow'rful comfy..."

"... in bed..."

"... yesterday..."

"... and I imagine it was just as comfy..."

"... today."

"Stop badgering your uncle," Balin said entering with a stack of records. He guided Thorin through signing them. As he gathered them back up, he smirked. "Should we expect this congenial effect to last long?" Thorin glared at Balin as he retreated down the hallway chuckling.  


He was considering going to take a late afternoon tea with Bilbo to escape the snickering when Brundi and Knute were ushered into his office by Dwalin. It was an odd enough occurrence that he knew something wasn't quite right. He rose, grabbing Orcrist where it lay. No one missed a beat as they all turned to follow him, all already knowing they were heading back to Bilbo's suite.  


"Tell me," Thorin commanded. Brundi hurried to match Thorin's brisk pace.  


"Lord Bilbo sent us both on errands after lunch. He promised Knute he would bolt the door since he was alone. When we returned, the door was still barred and he does not answer."  


Thorin turned his head to where Knute followed on his right. "Was anything amiss?"  


"No, sire, nothing. No one came or went all morning. He was alone."  


Thorin grunted. "Hopefully, he is just sleeping, like last time." Regardless of that hope, none of them slowed. As they came to Bilbo's door, Thorin had them wait while he slipped into his room. He quickly passed into Bilbo's room and out into the living area. He breathed in relief when he saw Bilbo curled up on the couch. His face was half covered by his long hair. Thorin reached out and gently brushed it back before turning to unbar the door.  


He let Dwalin pass, axe at the ready but motioned him to silence. He nodded to Thorin but gestured to Knute to follow him. It never hurt to check the perimeter. Brundi had crept quietly in with her basket of purchases when Oin burst in, having being sent for just to be on the safe side.  


"What's the lad done now?" he demanded loudly. Thorin quickly shushed him but it was too late. Bilbo stirred, turning onto his back and stretching. As he opened his eyes and took in the scene, his covered his face with his hands.  


"No, no! Not again," he groaned. Thorin chuckled as he sat up. "I'm sorry! I wouldn't have barred the door but Knute was very insistent on it since I was alone."  


Thorin hummed and nodded. "It was a good thought on his part. In the old days, we often didn't lock these doors because there were royal guards posted at several points in these halls. Perhaps it is time for them as there are no guards as of yet." He sat next to Bilbo so he wasn't towering over him. "If you are agreeable, I will have locks installed. But for safety's sake," he emphasized, "perhaps we should give a key to Brundi so she may enter without disturbing you."  


"Yes, that sounds like a good idea," Bilbo agreed sheepishly.  


"Then I will see to it. Are you otherwise well?" Thorin asked. He was sure he'd ask more gently than Oin.  


"I'm fine. I was just tired and thought I'd have a little kip. I thought I'd hear any knocking."  


"Maybe some door bells wouldn't hurt either," said Dwalin gruffly as he reentered, stowing his axe in its back harness.  


By late afternoon, a keyed lock and bells had been installed. The locksmith showed him how the bells operated, most of the pulley system that rang them hidden. Bilbo rather liked their harmonic clanging.  


He made sure to give Brundi the second key.  She slipped it onto a chain around her neck. As they were working together in the kitchen, Bilbo remembered to ask her if she had a craft.  


"No. See, I only have family braids," she answered sadly. "I don’t have a calling either. I was lucky to be taken on by Princess Dis so I at least have a trade in housekeeping. It's been enough to help my family."  


"Ah. I would not have thought to look at your braids. I'm afraid I wouldn't have known how to read them anyhow," Bilbo said.  


"It's custom to wear the braids of your craft or trade. People like me who work for someone of note may have a braid to show who their employer is. It works as an identification. Dori's people wear the braid of the royal household staff." She paused for a moment. "It helps some, like at market. Merchants know who the royal chef's buyer is so they give him better produce. Or like earlier today. The guards wouldn't let me into the royal offices until Knute had fetched Dwalin. They let Knute pass because he has a royal page braid."  


"That does seem helpful. Do you wear the royal household braid?" said Bilbo peering at her few braids.  


"I guess I could," Brundi answered with uncertainty. "We did not discuss it, Dori and I. I guess he assumed you would give me your household braid."  


It finally clicked for Bilbo. "You'll have to forgive me. I'm still learning dwarven culture. You may have to tell me somethings sometimes. Would it help you, at market and such if you wore my household braid?"  


Brundi nodded. "Because I don't, sometimes the merchants are reluctant to let me make purchases."  


Bilbo was surprised by this. "Even with my ring?"  


"It's because I'm young," she explained. "Usually it's a senior servant that is trusted with a signet ring. And you're the king's..." Brundi paused searching for the right word.  


"No one's sure what I am," Bilbo sighed. "But a braid would solve all that?"  


"Your braid would be recognized in very little time and it would carry weight, yes."  


"Alright then, are there requirements? Size? Pattern? Position?"  


Brundi shook her head. "It just has to be unique to your house. Most try to incorporate some element that reflects what they're known for."  


"What I'm known for..." Bilbo wondered aloud. "I suppose it should be something you can do by yourself?" Brundi nodded. "OK. Sit here." Bilbo retrieved his combs from his room. “At least you have a lot of hair to work with. This is one of my mother’s favorite braids,” he said as he began sectioning off some of the hair on the left side of her face. He began, describing each step to her. He created a thick braid down the left side of her face, pulling in more sections to secure it as he angled it in a diagonal around the back of her head. Once he reached the center, he twisted the braid.  


“And you loosen along this edge to form the petals… then you coil it around like this…” With her long, thick hair, he was able to loop it several times to make a full flower. He slid a few of his mother’s hair pins into the flower to hold it and stepped back to take a look. “Oh, that’s very nice. Might not do for a lad, but it’s beautiful on you.” Brundi’s fingers went up to gently stroke it. “Go and look in the bedroom mirror.”  


Before she could, the door bells rang out. Brundi turned to answered it. Princess Dis didn’t even look up as she she began speaking “Bilbo, I need you to read over this final draft of the trade agreement. If you approve, we’ll send it to your uncle for ratification. Thank you, Brundi,” she said automatically as she brushed past. When she turned to give the girl a smile, she noticed her new braid.  


“What’s this?  Who’s braid is this? Let me see." Brundi turned her head to show off the flower.  


“Can’t you guess?” said Bilbo.  


“Of course! Who but a child of Yavanna would have a flower as a braid?" Dis smiled, amused at the novelty. "Everyone will certainly know it's yours." They settled on the couch. "You probably weren't aware, but the more intricate a braid is, the more prestige it implies. You have done well for your house and for Brundi. It gives her much honor in the service of your house."  


"Oh... well... that's good," said Bilbo giving Brundi a shy smile.  


Over the next few days, every time Brundi ran an errand or went to market for Bilbo, her braid was noticed. It was definitely different and dwarves do like to gossip, though they would deny it. It gave her a small flush of pride whenever attention was called to it.  


What she didn't expect was running into Nufi, who she hadn't seen since the day she was dismissed from Bilbo's service. The sweet bread merchant was handing her back Bilbo's ring when someone stepped entirely too close to her. She shied away quickly, overstepping and losing her balance.  


"Relax, it's just me," Nufi said, grabbing Brundi's arm to steady her. She looked Brundi up and down, giving her braid a long glance. "Look at you, moving on up in the world." Nufi watched closely as Brundi threaded Bilbo's ring next to his key. "Trusts you with his ring and now his key?"  


Brundi nodded as she took the wrapped bread from the baker. "Too smug to be making his own anymore?" Nufi sneered.  


"He likes this kind,” Brundi said as she settle the pack in her basket and moved on. Nufi followed.  


“Why would a hobbit like dwarrow sweet bread? That doesn’t even make sense.”  


“He wants to try new things, so sometimes, he asks me pick things he hasn’t had before. He likes this one most.”  


“I thought he didn’t like new things and that’s why they had to drag his stuff all the way here.”  


Brundi shook her head. "That was all Princess Dis' idea."  


"Hmmm... it just seems they're all very eager to cater to an outsider."  


Brundi stopped and turned to face Nufi. “You seem awfully determined to not like him.”  


“And you seem awfully determined to lick his boots,” Nufi shot back.  


Brundi stared. This was a side of Nufi she hadn’t seen since they were children. When Nufi had not gotten her own way, she would turn on whoever she felt had wronged her, doing whatever she could to undermine them. She had thought Nufi had outgrown that vindictiveness, but apparently not.  


If this was any other circumstance, she might ask if Nufi had been able to find employment yet but she didn't want to bring it up if Nufi was just going to disparage Bilbo. "Is there something I can help you with?" she asked instead.  


Nufi looked at her consideringly. "Maybe. I haven't decided yet. Better get back to the halfling," she said as she flounced away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just google flower braids. I'm sure you'll see the same big ones I saw. I really wanted Brundi just to have one giant flower but that wouldn't be fair for her family braids, so just picture a thick braid going down from her left, swept back to a smaller yet still sizeable flower in the center, at the back of her head. If that makes any sense.
> 
> Edit: I can haz HTML. Here's the inspiration braid:
> 
>  


	26. You can't bargain your way out of this one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the day starts off bad, you should just know it's not the end of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: some mild violence, mention of death.

It was about a week and a half before Oin came at him again with the measuring twine. He hummed approvingly at the additional length as he made a new knot. The week after, he took in Bilbo's standing form as he entered. "I don't even have to measure you to know. I can see it from here with me bare eyes!" he proclaimed loudly. Bilbo huffed at the commentary on his size. Thorin smiled widely, please that Bilbo and the babe seemed to be doing very well.

Bilbo was a little indignant, even if he did find himself at the market, perusing used clothing. His growth necessitated roomier tunics. Thorin had tried to convince Bilbo to allow new outfits to be made for him, but Bilbo would not be persuaded. It was a waste, he told Thorin when his larger size was only temporary.

Brundi and Knute followed Bilbo as he made his way through the market, carrying baskets and purchases. No one would allow Bilbo to carry anything larger than a sweet roll as he meandered about. After returning to his rooms for tea, Bilbo predictably fell asleep on the couch. What surprised Brundi that day was the king showing up.

“Has he been asleep long?” he asked, taking in Bilbo’s prone form. He watched Bilbo’s breathing as she explained his new post-tea habit while an idea formed in his mind. “Send word to Balin that I will be unavailable for a couple of hours. I’ll take him to his bed. He’ll be more comfortable there,” he said lifting Bilbo.

He arranged Bilbo then carefully lay down behind him. Bilbo’s time asleep was his time, he felt. He wanted to be there it for. He lay quietly listening to Bilbo breathe and thinking. There were things he could shift  from himself and spread them down to others. He continued working out the details, surprised to find himself drowsing off.

Bilbo's naps were never more than an hour and a half long. Any longer and he ran the risk of missing meals. He usually kept to the couch since he would pick up whatever he'd left off when he awoke. So waking up in his bedroom was a little alarming as this was not where he'd fallen asleep. He flipped to find Thorin laying behind him but fully clothed. Thorin, light sleeper that he was, woke when he felt Bilbo stirring.

"Did something happen?" Bilbo asked.

"You were sleeping without me," Thorin replied gruffly.

"Not on purpose. I've just been so tired lately. Seems like there's so much to get done."

"Is it too much?" Thorin asked concerned.

Bilbo shook his head, hampered by the pillows. "I feel fine after I've rested a bit."

"Dis says making a little one takes a lot of energy, that you have to eat and sleep more."

"I suppose it's a good sign then, needing more sleep," said Bilbo twisting further into Thorin's chest. "Too bad you can't join me all the time," he sighed wistfully.

"I'll make arrangements," Thorin said pulling Bilbo closer.

"You’re sure?" Bilbo asked looking up into Thorin's face. He wasn't going to try to talk Thorin out of it.

"I'm sure. Besides..." Thorin paused. "They say I've been nicer since...." He mumbled ducking his face into Bilbo's hair. Bilbo couldn't catch the end of what he had said but he caught enough and laughed.

"You were probably just grumpy all the time because you were tired." Thorin harrumphed and pushed Bilbo's head into his chest to muffle his laughter. Bilbo pushed away from Thorin.

"Let me go, you great lump. I've got stuff to do before dinner."

Thorin heaved a very put-upon sigh and loosened his arms. "If you must," he grumbled.

Bilbo sat up at the edge of the bed, looking down at his feet. "Tea is at four and I mean four. If you can't make it, I won't wait. I've had to switch my meal times around enough to accommodate your odd eating schedule as it is. But I will nap in here from now on so if you miss tea, you can join me when you're able.” He stood, wincing. "I swear your bairn likes sitting on my bladder," he complained heading for the bathing room. He didn't see the smile break across Thorin's face.

When he made it back to his office, Thorin found Nori waiting for him. Nori didn’t report unless he actually had something to report. “What do you have?” he rumbled as he sat down.

“That group we’ve been watching…”

“The one you think are trying to undermine the silver smithing guild?”

“No the one led by the ex-soldier.”

“The one you think will try to get to me?”

“Yes. They’ll make their move soon. Still can't break their inner circle, too suspicious, but they've been passing a lot of messages in the past couple of days, something about the key to the plan and the timing. I don't think they're going to go for you directly.”

"Assign guards to Fili and Kili. Dwalin is with me most of the time. Lady Bruni is with Dis."

"And Bilbo?"

Thorin grimaced. "He'd refuse any personal guards. Set two at the entrance to the royal halls. Make sure he's followed when he leaves them. How many are there?"

"Seven. It's a small fringe group. Most are Dain loyalists but they're all men of experience, not just mouthy yokels down at the pub."

"Keep an eye out. I'll update Dwalin. Let me know if anything changes."

Bilbo was surprised by the extra guards when he and his little entourage encountered them the next day. He was told that now that there were more dwarves in residence, there were more available personnel available to fill the spots that they had left unfilled before. Balin assured him that it was a standard precaution employed in the old days. He nodded and accepted the explanation. It didn't interfere with his coming and goings. If neither he nor Brundi noticed they were being followed by additional guards, then it didn't worry him.

What did worry him was that his feet were steadily becoming less visible and he had big feet. His arms were also stretching farther to encircle his baby bump. The change in his center of gravity was making balance trickier by the day.

It became evident he really couldn't put off help any longer a few days later. He waved off Thorin's offer of help to get out of bed.

"I can still do it. I just need a moment," he said pushing Thorin's outstretched hands away. It irked him that everybody thought he needed help these days. He was not suddenly weaker, he groused to himself as he gathered a change of clothing for bathing.

Thorin sat on the bed. He knew Bilbo was at least as stubborn as he was, possibly more. He had yet to figure out a way to get him to accept assistance unless he wanted it first. He was running his hand through his hair when he heard a yelp and splash. He was in the bathing room before he realized he was moving. All he could see was Bilbo thrashing in the deeper end of the bathing pool.

Without thinking, he jumped down into the water, sending a wave over Bilbo causing him to splutter more. Thorin got his arms around Bilbo, lifting him above the water and pulling him against his chest. Bilbo put his arms around Thorin’s neck, pulling himself higher. He coughed until his lungs were clear, then lay his forehead on Thorin's shoulder while he tried to even out his breathing.

It didn't occur to Thorin that he was mostly undressed holding a wet, naked Bilbo against his body. He was too preoccupied with the bellows like movement of Bilbo’s lungs against his chest. He waited for Bilbo to calm before he asked, "what happened?"

"I tripped... on the first step," Bilbo said clearing his throat. "I fell in and you know...hobbits... water. It was the surprise,  couldn't get my feet under me." Remembering that awful moment of panic, Bilbo tightened his arms around Thorin's neck. "You jumping in like that... not the best idea."

"Yes, my apologies. I did not think that through." After a few moments of silence he spoke again. "I think it may be time to allow someone to help you in and out of the bath," he said gently.

"I suppose you're right," Bilbo conceded grudgingly.

"Brundi has helped others..."

"No. No!" Bilbo cut him off. "I don't need..." Thorin cleared his throat at the word 'need'. "Want! I don't want... oh bother."

"Is it because she's female?" Thorin tried to keep his inquiry as benign sounding as possible.

Bilbo sighed. "Yes," he admitted. It seemed ridiculous to refuse help when it was needed but it went against his sense of propriety to have a young girl seeing all his bits for all that they were probably the same age.

"Would you prefer a male to help you? I'm sure Dori could find someone for you," Thorin suggested as he waded them over to the slightly shallower end of the bathing pool.

"Not really," Bilbo said as he was put back on his feet. "I don't want a stranger... ogling me." He made himself push out the statement as his arms curled around his stomach. Just admitting it made him feel vulnerable.

Those particular words made Thorin reevaluate his offer. Did he want anyone else looking at his One? He looked down at Bilbo and a feeling of possessiveness swelled within him.  "I'll do it," he blurted. His eyes widened when he realized he'd spoken. "I'm already here... when you rise in the morning," he adlibbed, his mind working to give reason for Bilbo to agree. "We've bathed together before."

Bilbo blushed at the thought of them bathing together because, truth be told, it had sometimes been more than just bathing. Bilbo nodded in agreement. “I’d rather it be you than anybody else."

Thorin nodded then looked around. Bilbo's bathing things had been scattered in the fall. He could see two glass bottles lying under the water on the pool's floor. Bilbo would certainly not be in the mood to fish them out. He ducked down and grabbed them. Bilbo's sponge had floated to the other end of the pool. He waded over and retrieved it.

As he handed them over, Bilbo said, "You're already wet. You can use my bathing things, if you'd like. I know they're more flowery scented than you like..."

"I like the smell of your bathing lotions," Thorin said. He really did and thinking about carrying that scent around him all day was honestly giving him a tingle.

"The boys will tease you about it. Besides, I like the way you smell," Bilbo said turned away from Thorin as he poured some of the soapy liquid into his hand.

They didn't say anything else as they bathed. When they were done, Thorin exited the pool first. He wrapped a towel around his waist, then descended two steps back down to help Bilbo out. Bilbo took the towel Thorin proffered and instead of wrapping it around himself, began toweling himself off.

"I'll just go..." Thorin started.

"Would you like sausage or bacon this morning?" Bilbo asked rubbing the towel in his hair.

Thorin was speechless for a moment. It struck him this was like one of those domestic moments his parents used to have in his youth. "Sausage," he finally replied. "Will you make those plain scones and the gravy you put on them?"

"Yes of course, because what would meat be without gravy?" Bilbo teased.

As Thorin left to get dressed, Bilbo thought that given the events that had already transpired that morning, things could only get better, which only would later show how little he knew.

As he served breakfast, Thorin complimented him on his new tunic. It was white with blue, glass beads in a square pattern around the neck. “Thank you. I thought it was a nice effect with the beads, although I can’t be sure if the tunic was meant for a man or a woman,” Bilbo said.

Thorin looked at his plate as he thought ‘woman’ but he wasn’t going to say that out loud. It would make Bilbo self-conscious and he looked very pretty in it. Honestly, half of the people who had met Bilbo weren’t sure if he a man or woman anyway so it didn’t matter. Instead he said, “time was, we’d have decorated with jewels instead of beads.”

“Well, that’s just a little too opulent for my taste, but I’m sure that time will come again. It’ll be interesting to see all of your dwarvish fashion once the tailors are back in full swing."

They talked more about clothing while they ate until a message arrived that Brundi was very ill and would not be able to attend Bilbo today.

“Oh, I wonder if I should pay her a visit, see if she needs anything.”

“Dwarves do not fall ill very often,” Thorin said thoughtfully. “If the sickness is enough to keep her abed, perhaps it would be better if you did not expose yourself or the babe. I will send Oin to check on her. She will be well cared for, I assure you.” He honestly was a little alarmed at the thought of Bilbo catching any illness this far into his pregnancy.

“You’re right. If you would, let me know how she is."

Bilbo puttered around all morning. He’d gotten used to having a constant companion, so different from his life before, that he honestly would forget what he was to do next. Brundi was always one step ahead of him trying to anticipate his needs. Without her, it took him more time to get himself organized. He was relieved that after lunch Hruf showed up.

“Dori wanted to send you one of his girls but then Prince Kili said you only liked who you liked and Prince Fili said that that you don’t like a fuss even though you are very fussy and that you could make tea for yourself for one day and then the King said…” Bilbo was mightily amused by the convoluted retelling of how Hruf came to be there early. “... so then they said I could come cause then you wouldn’t be so lonely.”

“Yes, of course, they are correct,” Bilbo said solemnly, trying to suppress laughter. Hruf was still very young and it was apparent he felt that this was a Very Important Mission, having had the King send him especially to keep Bilbo company today. “We best get started then,” he said finally breaking a smile as he turned to lead the way outside.

They hadn’t been outside very long when they heard Knute yelling. They rushed in to see that he had barred the door and was reaching above the mantel to pull down Sting.

“What’s going on?” Bilbo demanded, alarmed by the fighting sounds he could hear on the other side of the door.

“Someone is coming. They attacked the guards. One came to defend. He’s out there now,” Knute explained quickly. He turned to Bilbo. “You have to hide. I’ll hold them here.”

Bilbo thought quickly. It sounded like multiple weapons clashing. If, when, the guard fell, Knute would not be able to hold off multiple attackers alone. He turned to Hruf grabbing him by the shoulders.  “Hruf, in my bedroom, behind the tapestry is a door to the King’s room. Go through it. As soon as the way is clear, run for help.”

“I can fight!” Hruf argued.

“No, I can’t run so it has to be you. You’re small and quick enough, you can evade whoever is coming, can’t you lad?” he said encouragingly. Hruf nodded. “Off you go then.” He watched Hruf run down the hall before turning into the kitchen. He didn’t have extra weapons lying around but he did have a few rather large kitchen knives.

“You need to hide,” Knute urged him again.

“Hiding won’t do much good. They’ll find me regardless and I’ll not leave you to face whatever’s coming alone,” he said giving Knute some room to maneuver. They could hear the fight outside winding down.

“The King won’t be happy if you fight,” Knute tried.

“He’s not going to be happy at all,” Bilbo agreed as silence fell in the hall. There was a moment before the lock began to turn and the door was tried. There was banging and some kicking of the door as the person on the other side discovered it was barred. Then there was shouting. Bilbo strained to hear what was being said when there was a loud crack against the door.

“Axes. That’s a wooden door. It won’t take them long to break it down,” Knute explained sounding as tense as Bilbo felt. He sent up a quick prayer to Yavanna and Mahal, throwing in some whispered words to Eru as well.

It took four minutes to chop the door to pieces. To Bilbo, it felt simultaneously like an eternity and an instant. When the attackers entered, it was four male dwarves and to his surprise, “Nufi!” When he called her name, she looked up at him. Her eyes were wide with fear. He could tell whatever had happened, she was in way over her head.

“Don’t know what we needed you fer,” one of the men spat. “You couldn’t get us past the guards or the door like you said you could.”

Bilbo was surprised at the implication. He knew Nufi had been disappointed and angry when she had been dismissed but he had not taken her for the kind that would take this level of revenge, to actually conspire against him. Her guilt was clear but why did she seem afraid if she had been a party to whatever this was? 

The first male, the obvious leader, turned his attention to Bilbo. He had cuts on his face and had not made it out of the hall fight unscathed. In fact, all of them except Nufi showed various wounds. Whoever the guards had been, they had tried valiantly to stop these dwarves. They were obviously in deadly earnest. He hoped Hruf would be able to get away.

The leader grunted pulling Bilbo’s attention back. “I almost didn’t believe it but look at you.”

“Who are you? What do you want?” Bilbo demanded. Something bad was going to happen and he didn’t think he would be going free at the end of it. He hadn’t even thought to retrieve his ring, stuffed down in the very back of his wardrobe.

“None of that is important to you. Yer just the means to an end.”

“If you tell me what you want, perhaps we can come to an arrangement,” Bilbo suggested, hoping he sounded more confident and authoritative then he felt.

“Oh we’ll come to an arrangement, all right. The king will pay quite handsomely to get you and his get back.”

One of the other dwarves came up behind the leader’s shoulder. “Stop chattering with ‘im, Marus. We’ve no time before the staff comes back. We’ve still got to get Feymar out of here too.”

“We’re leaving Feymar,” Marus said, eyes still on Bilbo. “There’s nothing we can do for him anyhow. Now… are you coming quietly or am I going to have to make you?”

Bilbo narrowed his eyes. “Touch me and you’ll regret it.”

“You’re a fiesty one. Is that what he sees in you? They say he never liked none of those courtly ladies. Never bought that line that his love was for his people.”

“Marus…”

“Shut it, Skeggi. You get the kid. Oddmar, get the halfling.”

Bilbo watched as the two dwarves started towards them. He took a step back, seeing Knute fall into a fighting stance. They weren’t going to fight their way free but maybe they could do some damage. He concentrated on the dwarf stalking towards him. He clearly wasn’t expecting Bilbo to fight because he came at him with only his hands. When he reached for Bilbo, Bilbo twisted in his grip, pulling the hidden knife from his sleeve like Fili had taught him. Using his momentum, he plunged it into the dwarf’s stomach.

Oddmar let go of Bilbo and looked down at where the red was saturating his tunic. Bilbo skipped back but it was only a moment before Marus and the fourth dwarf were rushing at him. He got in a couple of feints before Marus had his wrist, squeezing it until he dropped this knife. Marus swung his right fist out and Bilbo blocked it but didn’t see the other dwarf moving to tackle him. As he fell back, his head smacked the floor and things went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna cut that whole napping thing since we've already been there before but I couldn't make myself do it.
> 
> Also, I could not find an equivalent to American biscuits. Because biscuits and gravy seem, to me, like just the kind of thing dwarves would love.


	27. Like a lion roaring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin is so beyond pissed off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for violence and a bit of racism.
> 
> +OMG I'm so tired, but I literally couldn't sleep because this was too busy falling out of my head!
> 
> Thank you to all of you who comment, give kudos and provide encouragement. I'm glad to know that y'all are as eager to find out what happens next as I am!

When Bilbo woke, he noticed several things. First, that his nose was pressed against a dusty floor, which made him sneeze. Second, that his hands were tied but thankfully not behind his back. The wrist that Marus had squeezed was throbbing painfully but he didn’t think it was broken. Third, that his head hurt, and fourth, he had no idea what had happened after he had passed out.

He tried to sit up but on the floor it turned out to be more effort than it was worth. He settled for rolling around. He was in a dark, empty room with only a sliver of light outlining the door. He could hear low voices out there, most likely his captors.

He rolled onto his back and took a shaky breath. He hoped Knute was alive and that Hruf had managed to get away. He took another deep breath, concentrating on not freaking out. He rotated his shoulders and tried to relax but the floor was hard and cold. He had no weapons, nothing that could help him and still no real idea of what was going to happen to him other than apparently a kidnap and ransoming.

Well, he told himself, his absence would soon be noted. They would start searching for him. He only had to wait since there was nothing he could do but they would come. He knows they will.

Waiting was not on Thorin's agenda. Hruf had raised the alarm at the first guard station he had come across. More soldiers were dispatched to the royal halls, while Hruf and others continued on to alert the King.

In a matter of minutes, there was a swarm of activity as all exits from the mountain were blockaded and every available guard called to duty. Thorin was thunderous as he rushed to the royal halls, members of his company following in his wake. They stopped at the hall entrance. Someone had already covered the first fallen guard with a blanket.

"What happened?" Thorin growled as the guards bowed.

"Sire! We only know someone attacked. The two guards on duty fell, this one here, the other at Lord Bilbo's door. The page is conscious now. He's being treated but I have not heard his report."

Grim faced, Thorin continued on. On high alert, none of them missed the smears of blood against the walls at odd intervals. They paused outside of Bilbo’s rooms, looking down at two covered bodies. The guard at the door snapped to attention.

“Is that one of them?” Thorin growled with disgust, looking at the second body.

Nori slipped out from the company and uncovered the face. “Yes. Goes by Feymar. He’d taken up with that chit Nufi of late.”

Thorin grunted and turned to Bilbo’s room. The door was in splinters, bits littering the floor everywhere. He braced himself for the worst. There were three guards in the room. One was cleaning a long gash on Knute’s arm as he sat. The others immediately saluted him.

“Report,” he demanded curtly.

“We made haste when the boy raised the alarm, but Lord Bilbo and the attackers were already gone when we arrived. We have guards canvassing the immediate area, looking for any signs of where they may have gone. The page was unconscious when we arrived. We were just about to question him.”

Everyone turned to Knute who looked up with fearful eyes. “I’m.. I’m sorry, Your Highness. I f-failed you.” He looked down and he curled inward on himself.

Thorin reached out to grasp his shoulder. He spoke with a slightly gentler, but still urgent tone. “Just tell us what happened, lad. No one blames you. It’s obvious you were outnumbered and we can all see these are defensive wounds.”

Knute nodded his head. “Nollig.. the guard out… out there, he came running. Said we were being attacked and to bar the door. He tried to fight them off, but there were too many.” Knute took a  breath and spoke more surely as he continued. “Lord Bilbo sent Hruf for help. I tried to get him to hide but he wouldn’t. I grabbed his sword and he got a knife. They tried to unlock the door but it was barred.”

“You say they unlocked it. They had a key?” Thorin asked.

Knute nodded. “We watched it turn.”

“Nori…” Thorin turned to him. “Only Bilbo, Brundi and I have a copy of that key.”

“Where is Brundi?” Nori asked.

“She fell ill today,” Thorin said. “I don’t suspect her involvement,” he added meaningfully.

“She may be in danger then.” Thorin ordered a guard to check her home before he motioned Knute to continue.

“They broke the door. There were four of them. They said they wanted Lord Bilbo because you would pay to get him back.” Thorin’s face grew dark and his hand tightened on the handle of the large knife strapped to his hip. “They came at us. I saw Lord Bilbo get one of them but then the other two threw him down. He hit his head. I tried to get to him but… they knocked me out.” Knute looked down and frowned. “When I woke up he was gone.”

“The one in the hall, was he one of the one of the four that came in?” Nori asked.

Knute shook his head. “No, he never came in. They left him.”

One of the guards stepped forward. “We’ve checked the rooms and the outdoors. They came in and left through this door.”

“Someone must have seen them then,” Dwalin spoke up.

“Dori’s staff takes a late lunch, after everyone else. The halls would have been empty except for the guards,” Nori explained. “It was the timing, you see, that they had to get right.” Thorin’s eyes snapped back to Nori, remembering the talk they’d had of the key and the timing just days ago.

It seemed like only moments before the first guards reporting back in began to stream into Bilbo’s rooms. They set up an impromptu work base. Maps were brought. Additional search parties were sent out. Nori sent out his own lines of inquiry and was not surprised by what information returned.

All of the remaining conspirators were missing and had not been seen since the night before. Oin was found working on a very ill Brundi. Nori was consulted. He confirmed Oin’s suspicions that she had been poisoned, an amateurish job that had resulted in an overdose. He added his knowledge to Oin’s and they came up with an antidote that stabilized her. She wheezed out the story how Nufi had given her a peace offering of small cakes the night before. One sniff was enough to determine they were the method of delivery. Luckily, she was only one who had eaten of them. Nufi had visited her again in the morning and had forcibly taken Bilbo’s key but she had been too dosed to speak and warn anyone.

As dinner time came and passed, it became apparent that the men had gone to ground somewhere in the mountain. No one had seen them. Balin searched the records to find where the men had been working. Nori’s inquiries had turned up information that two of the men had left for Dale the day prior. Nori, Bifur, Gloin and several guards rode hell-for-leather down the mountain.

Thorin was like a caged lion. He paced back and forth, growling at anyone who got in his way. He had been told in no uncertain terms by Dis that in his state, he would not be fit to question anyone or to notice any stray clues. It would be best if he stayed out of the way and somewhere he could be reliably reached if anything happened. It was not helping his state of mind. Being in Bilbo’s rooms reminded him that Bilbo was probably hungry and thirsty as it was nearing midnight. He was probably cold if he’d been taken deeper into the mountain. He wasn’t even wearing his boots. Even if Bilbo objected to their use, it just made him think of how unprotected Bilbo was right now.

His hands were fisted, pulling at his hair when he hear Dis calmly say “stop it. You will be useless if you drive yourself mad with worry.” He turned to stare at her but he could see the concern in her frown, in the crinkle of her eyes.

It was then that Kili burst into the room. “Uncle! The riders return with two in custody! They are not far from the gates.”

“He’ll take them to the dungeons for interrogating,” Dwalin said, following Thorin as he stalked out the door. They could hear cell doors clanging shut when they reached the cells, arriving only moments after the riders.

“Are these them? They are a part of this?” Thorin demanded.

Nori nodded. “I recognize them. Neither is the leader but they are involved.”

“Open the door,” Thorin commanded. As soon as the guard swung the door open, Thorin was in the cell. With motions too swift to follow, he ruthlessly broke the prisoner’s leg and arm before anyone else entered. “Where is he?” he demanded as he snapped a wrist and crushed some fingers. “Where is he?” he repeated as the prisoner began screaming in pain. “Where is he?” he yelled as Nori, Dwalin, Gloin and Bifur wrestled him back and out of the cell.

He fought like a raging beast as they dragged him down the hall and pinned him against a wall. He threw punches and kicked for all he was worth, roaring the whole while. It took him some moments before he could hear Dwalin’s words break through the haze of his anger. “... help you, not stop you… Nori’ll make them… some answers… calm the fuck down...”

He slowly stopped struggling and they released him. He leaned against the wall breathing heavily. “They’ll pay. I’ll make them all pay…”  
  
“Oh, believe me, none of them are gettin’ out of this alive,” Dwalin snarled dangerously. Thorin nodded. He could count on Dwalin to see things his way.

After Thorin’s very abrupt beginning, it took less than an hour for the prisoners to break. Marus was the mastermind behind it all. Previously one of Dain’s soldiers, he’d stayed behind thinking they’d be generously rewarded for their stand during the battle. All of the soldiers had been well compensated, but Marus was of the opinion that they deserved a larger share of the mountain’s treasure. When it had not been forthcoming, he hatched a plan to force a larger payment. When Bilbo had been brought to the mountain and all but declared Consort, his target was chosen. The babe hadn’t mattered to Marus because it was a half breed. At that, Thorin lunged for the cell again and had to be forcibly dragged back.

Marus had worked on housing clean up crews and mine inspection. He had gained followers by listening to the complaints of the men he worked with. They had all agreed to Marus’ plan when he laid out how he’d heard of a forgotten entrance to the mountain in the old mines. They planned to secret Bilbo out to Dale until ransom could be arranged.

With that information, it didn’t take long for Balin and Ori to find records that showed what quarters Marus and his gang had worked in. By dawn they had begun searching the empty housing areas. It took hours searching every room but they knew they were on the right track when they found another body. It was another of the dwarf conspirators. He appeared to have died during the night of an untreated wound to the gut, just as Knute had described. It looked like they hadn’t even tried to triage the wound, simply leaving him to die. That made Thorin worry about how his captors might be treating Bilbo. The feeling only intensified when Fili dropped six blue glass beads into his hand. There was no mistaking them as anything but the beads from Bilbo’s tunic.


	28. When it rains, it pours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marus is so... so stupid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Skipping back a bit in time for Bilbo's point of view.
> 
> Warnings for mild violence and sadness. Brace yourselves.
> 
> Just remember, I love you all for sticking with me this far and this long.

Sometime in the evening, Bilbo fell asleep. He only realized when he was woken by arguing voices coming from the other room. The light from the doorway was dimmer so their fire must have died some. He had no way of telling the time. He didn't have that innate sense that dwarves seemed to have, always knowing the time in the dark of the mountain.

Before he'd fallen asleep, he'd been trying to think of anything he could do and had come up with nothing. But he had dreamed of that morning when Thorin had complimented his tunic. He ran his fingers across the beading on his chest. If he was careful, he could maybe leave a trail for Thorin to find him.

He worked at the corner of the design, pulling at the beads. He didn't want to rip the fabric and give away his plan but the beads were well sewn on. His tied hands made it more difficult. This would probably be the only time he cursed dwarven craftsmanship, he thought as he was finally able to pull some of beads off. He had only just curled back onto his side when the door opened. It was the fourth dwarf whose name he didn't know.

"Get up," he said standing over Bilbo. He tried, getting up on his knees first. Seeing his difficulty, the dwarf grabbed his arm and yanked him up, pushing him stumbling out into the other room.

He looked around. Marus and Skeggi were sorting supplies into knapsacks. The dwarf he had stabbed, Oddmar, was lying on the floor. He didn't look too well. Blood was still seeping sluggishly from the wound and his breathing was shallow.

"You've saved me the trouble of getting rid of Oddmar over there. He wasn’t what I’d call dedicated to this venture. And now I get to keep his share," Marus gave Bilbo a toothy smile.

"We split his share," Skeggi said.

"Sure. Fine. We'll split it," Marus soothed. Bilbo watched as the three stood and shouldered their bags.

“You should just let me go. Leave me and get out of here, if you know what’s good for you.”

“Not leaving you til I get what I want,” Marus replied, walking over to grip Bilbo’s arm and lead him out the door.

“Do you honestly think he’s going to let you go if anything happens to me or my baby?”

“As long as you keep doing what I say, nothing’s going to happen to you.” Bilbo was highly skeptical of that but he said nothing more as they lead him out.

They were in some sort of neighborhood. It was like an abandoned village inside the mountain. The effect was very eerie in the dark. They must have been very deep if there was no reflected light. Or it was night time. Or both. He gave up trying to decide.

As Bilbo’s eyes adjusted, he noticed that each of the dwarves had an small object that glowed. It was a very faint light but it must’ve been more than enough for dwarven eyes. Bofur had explained how they had superior vision for seeing in the dark, much better than his own. It wasn’t enough light to aide him though and he stumbled along between them. That turned out to be advantageous because his scuffling about hid the slight clink made by the glass beads as he dropped them.

Marus set a steady pace that was not difficult for Bilbo but as they reached the edge of the quarter, he stopped. “You’ve got to let me rest a few minutes,” he said.

“We don’t have time to stop for you.” Bilbo was sure Marus was worried about Thorin and the company catching up to them, but he really did need a few moments.

“Look, you haven’t fed me. You haven’t given me any water. I’m rather heavily pregnant, in case you've forgotten. How much energy do you think I have?”

They all stood facing Marus awaiting his decision. “Fine. Five minutes.”

“Thank you,” Bilbo sighed getting down on his hands and knees to sit himself down. He stretched out his legs in front of him and wiggled his toes, holding his bound hands in his lap. “That’s better.” The dwarves awkwardly watched him for a minute before sitting down themselves. Bilbo looked around but it was too dark for him to make out anything but they were clear of the hulking, dark shapes the houses had made.

He felt a tap on his arm and turned to find who he thought was Skeggi offering him a canteen. “Oh! Thank you. I do appreciate it,” he said taking a few mouthfuls before returning it. “I don’t see how going farther into the mountain is going to get us out of it,” he ventured after a few moments of silence.

“It leads to the…” began Skeggi but Marus spoke over him.

“Don’t you worry about that.”

It wasn’t long before they forced him to move on into a new passageway. They came to a series of forking tunnels.

“The old mines,” Marus said, stepping forward into one of them. Its doorway was held up by wooden supports. Forty feet into the tunnel, Marus turned, picked up an axe that had been resting against the wall and destroyed the supports. They all jumped back as the entrance caved in on itself sending up a shower of dust. “They won’t find us now. Follow me carefully. There are places here that may cave in at any time.”

Splendid, thought Bilbo as he tripped along behind him. The tunnel opened up on the left into a cavern. The right side was still a solid wall with the small trail they walked on hugging it, but on the left was a steep drop off that went down several levels. He stuck to the wall, scraping along it, knocking off loose bits of rubble.

“You’re gonna start a slide,” the unnamed dwarf hissed behind him.

“I can’t see in the dark like you,” Bilbo retorted. “I have to keep to the wall or I’ll fall.” He heard a couple of groans.

“Let him take your edge of your coat," Marus ordered. "As long as he's behind you, he'll keep on the trail." Bilbo felt the dwarf brush past him. He reached out and took ahold of his coat. He heard a tsk of irritation but ignored it. They lead on with Bilbo now in the rear.

It helped him a little having the three faint lights ahead of him. He could see now where the walls were cracked and obviously unstable. He wondered if that was just because these were the "old mines" or if it was instability caused by Smaug's occupation. He could see when the other three tensed when they neared those damaged portions.

They were passing one of those damaged areas when they heard a rumble from above. The ground shook. He could see the three dwarves sway. He was swaying too but with his larger, bare feet, he felt pretty stable. On instinct, he surged forward, knocking into the unnamed dwarf with his shoulder. Then he skipped back a step and watched the dwarf fall. In the blink of an eye, all that was left of him was the echo of his shout. Bilbo took another step back, his eyes wide with surprise. He had acted without thinking and looking up at Marus, there was going to be a price to pay.

Several things happened next, all at once: the shaking stopped, Skeggi yelled, “what was that?” and Marus’ fist connected with the left side of his face in a blur. He hadn’t been expecting it so he took the full force of the hit. He saw stars where he knew there were none and he went down, falling back against the rock wall.

“Bugger.” His tied hands went up to cradle his cheek and he stretched his jaw. That was going to bruise spectacularly, he thought blinking moisture out of his eyes.

“Did you seriously just push Taig down a cliff?” Marus snarled, grabbing the front of Bilbo’s tunic and dragging him back up onto his feet.

“I don’t know what happened,” he stuttered. He really didn’t. He hadn’t contemplated acting. It had just happened in the moment and he’d certainly had no expectation of it actually working.

“He pushed Taig?” Skeggi shrieked.

“Yeah, he pushed Taig!” Marus began cursing in Khuzdul, shaking Bilbo a few times. He figured he was getting the “if I didn’t need you” speech with dire threats attached. It may have gone on but they heard another rumble followed by more shaking. Marus kept a tight grip on Bilbo until it passed.

“What’s going on?” Skeggi demanded.

“Demolition,” Marus answered grimly. “We’re behind schedule.”

“You mean you knew they were going to be using explosives today? We can’t be in here!”

“We were supposed to be out of here by now.” Marus shoved Bilbo until he was in front of them. “You get to lead now, halfling. Don’t get any more bright ideas. And you may want to step on it.”

Bilbo hurried on as fast as he was able in the near dark. He kept his hand skimming the wall. He was rather alarmed. What kind of idiot would take a trek through old mine tunnels when he knew explosives were going to be set off that day? He counted two more rumbles. They were evenly timed. So when the fifth one came, and it turned out to be the big one, he was braced for it against the wall. His two companions were not. There was a large jerk that had Bilbo scrabbling for handholds on the wall. Marus and Skeggi lost their footing and were thrown to the ground.

The next rumble they heard was directly overhead. They all looked up as the grit and pebbles started to shower down on them. As the dwarves tried to get to their feet, Bilbo took off as fast as he could down the path. His hand found a turn, a nook, he thought and he turned into it. It was dark but he could hear the rocks falling now and he moved further in. He could hear shouting, then a large crash. He felt a whoosh of air and dust and then it was silent. He stood, shoulders hunched, his mind in shock. Cave-in. He had just escaped a cave-in. Sort of.

Oh Eru Manwë Varda Ulmo Aulë Yvanna Nienna Oromë Vána Námo Vairë Irmo Estë Tulkas Nessa. He was really in it now. He could feel the tears forming in his eyes. He really wanted to cry but that wasn’t going to help anything, now was it? He bit his lip and took a few deep breaths.

It was the breathing that did it. Pulling it in and pushing it out made him realize that he might have a finite amount of it. Hobbits didn’t know much about caves and mountains and air flow, but he remembered the bare bones of it from stories Bofur had told him. He needed to sit down all of a sudden. He felt his way along the rubble spilling into his hideaway until he found a wall and then slid down it. What was going to happen now? No food, no water, maybe no air. Blocked in by who knew how much rock, would they be able to find him? Would they be able to find him _in time_?

In that moment, he wanted so badly to be back in his rooms, curled in up bed with Thorin. It was like a tidal wave of longing crashing over him, followed swiftly by a wave of loneliness. Thorin… that’s all he wanted. Just Thorin.

He couldn’t stop them this time when the tears started to fall. He leaned over onto the floor, pillowing his head in his arms and cried. It was the quieter, jerky sobs that pulled on his insides and he just wanted for Thorin to come hold him. He cried Thorin’s name over and over in his mind as if that would make him appear and make all of this end. He was miserable and he was probably going to die and he would never get to see his baby.

When his sobbing had petered out into sniffles, he stayed lying on the floor. He was tired and he let the fatigue and sadness pull him into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take a deep breath. I promise you, it's all going to be OK.


	29. Rescue me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More questions will be answered next chapter. Hold tight. This just got long so I offer it up now. Plus I had to rewrite it three times and wrestle it into submission. Kudos to those of you with theories that hit the nail right on the head! I have fun seeing those and trying to keep stuff to myself until it's posted.

Thorin curled his fingers around the glass beads. This was Bilbo reaching out to him, telling him to come find him. He bellowed and his company gathered around him. He held out the beads.

“These are Bilbo’s, from his tunic. He’s leaving us a trail.”

“Smart lad,” Balin smiled.

“Fan out. Look for more.”

It took all of two minutes to find the one dropped by the north side of the house. They found the third one and suddenly they had a vector, a definite direction to follow. From there, it was a game of leap frog, jumping from one found bead to another.

They had come to the forking tunnels when they felt the blasts. Kili was sent running to stop the demolition. When the blasts stopped, they immediately began clearing the rubble away.

When Thorin stumbled, Fili was immediately at his side, holding him up. “What is it, Uncle?”

“Bilbo…”  Thorin gathered himself up. “Something’s happened.” He nodded to Fili to let him know he was fine and continued working but his face was pale. He was afraid to think of what could have happened or what exactly he had felt.

By the time Kili returned, arms full of maps and structural drawings, followed by a mining crew, they had found the second rock slide and uncovered two bodies. They had been unable to clear the path because of the extent of the damage so they had retreated back to the juncture. Bofur was sure they could find another way. He began sorting through the maps as soon as Kili released them.

Kili pushed his way into the circle where Thorin, Fili, Balin, Nori and Dwalin were gathered around the bodies.

“No!” he gasped in horror, seeing the still forms.

“He’s alive. Bilbo lives,” Fili fervently whispered to him, grasping his arm to get his attention. “We think he’s trapped behind the rockslide that got these two.”

“This one is the ringleader,” Nori said pointing. “It’s kinda hard to tell by the way his head’s bashed in but that’s his signet ring.”

“I feel cheated he’s dead already,” Dwalin snorted, toeing the body.

“With these two, the other two dead and the two in custody, that only leaves one of them unaccounted for,” counted off Nori.

"And the girl. Mustn't forget her part in all of this," Balin added.

"No, I'm not forgetting that," Thorin said darkly. “As soon as the healer gets here, see if you can rouse that one for information.” He turned and walked towards Bofur who was kneeling over the maps.

“That one’s not dead?” Kili asked as they followed.

“He’s alive, but barely,” Fili answered.

“Can we blast our way through?” Thorin asked.

Bofur shook his head. “Too many faults in these walls.” He shuffled through the sheaves. "This is it," he said spreading one out fully. "This is the path they followed here," he said tracing his finger along the markings. "And would ya lookie tha'." His finger rested on a point just beyond where the rock slide had been. It was a doorway. They all followed as Bofur's finger traced out the outline of the large space it led to. "That's gotta be where he is. Otherwise, he would have heard us by now."

"I don't see another way in," Thorin said.

"Not on this level, no. But look here, in the southeast corner. Looks like there's a stairway to the level above." He turned, rooting through the maps.

Nori had sidled his way over and was looking at the map's corner. "Look at this," he said tapping the names in the corner. "These are the marks of those two over there," he said tilting his head to the two dwarves they'd recovered.

"That's how they knew to come this way. Must've been on the crews that explored these tunnels when we were checking for damage," Bofur explained. "They marked this area safe but by the conditions we saw, it shouldn't have been. We wouldn't have been blasting so close."

"Why would they mark it safe then?" Fili asked.

"Probably were afraid we'd seal it off," Bofur said laying another map on top. "See here, that’s the stairway."

Healers arrived to haul off the the two dwarves they had found. Oin choose to stay with the company, anticipating the need for when they found Bilbo. The growing entourage followed in Bofur and Thorin's wake.

~~~~~

When Bilbo woke, he felt no better. He was tired and lying in a weird position wasn’t helping. He sat up placing his tied hands in his lap. Everything was still dark. He heaved a great sigh. First priority, he thought, was his hands. He couldn't see but he knew thirty two ways to tie neck scarves, ties and kerchiefs. Surely he could pick out these knots. It took forever and twisting his wrists around made them ache but he was finally able to loosen the knots enough to wriggle his hands free.

He stood, carefully and not without difficulty, by getting up on his knees first. He looked both ways but it was a futile gesture. He would just have to move around in darkness. He was not about to wait around and languish. He'd gotten himself out of the goblin tunnels, he could get himself out of this. He was just very careful not to think about just how he'd gotten out of those tunnels. He didn't need to give himself a fear of what might be hidden in this darkness, especially as he was so defenseless. He could only hope that Smaug would not have tolerated anything like Gollum in his mountain.

Slowly he made his way along the wall thinking that if he felt along it, he might find another doorway. He started by dropping a glass bead. It would be best to continue the trail. He kept his fingers in contact with the wall. There were bits of rubble strewn along the floor. After painfully stepping on a couple of fair sized and very sharp edged rocks that he had no way to anticipate, he began shuffling his feet.

It was slow going but after a while he found a sharp corner. He guessed he was in a rectangular room of some size. He kept shuffling along, concentrating on his feet, unconsciously looking down at them. It was why he didn't see the glow up ahead at first. It was a very dim green light. Excited and thinking it was probably light spilling from underneath a doorway, he rushed on. He was getting closer until he tripped over something.

He was on the ground before he knew what had happened. He had managed to get his arms out in front of him to break the fall and had ended up on his hands and knees. He didn’t move, still feeling the shock of the fall reverberating through his body. He could feel the burn of his scraped hands but his knees had taken the brunt of it, smacking hard on the rock floor. He was just going to be a mess of bruises when they found him. He mumbled a quick thank you to Yvanna that she had made hobbits so sturdy because thinking of how badly he could have been injured would not have helped his state of mind.

He tried to sit back on his heels but the right one gave a painful twinge. He must have twisted in the fall. Nice, Baggins, he mentally berated himself. He didn't think he could walk on it. He didn't want to attempt getting up if he was only going to fall again. Whatever the light was, it wasn't far. Determined, he began to crawl towards it on hands and knees.

As he neared it, he realized that the light was coming up from the floor. Not a door, he sighed with disappointment. He kept on and the floor suddenly became smooth beneath his hands. He felt around, sure that he was now on a tiled surface. He then bumped into a shape. He felt along it, realizing it was a wide stone bench. In fact, in the dim light, he could see there were others around the light.

As he crawled to its edge, he saw that it was pool of water. It was about a meter and a half across and its bowl shape was lined with crystals, which were glowing a faint green under the water. He was surprised and wondered if they were like what his captors had had. He looked and to his left, at the head of the pool, was a statue of a male dwarf. At least he thought it was a male dwarf. It was hard to tell without proper lighting. He was poised with a hammer in his hand, striking an anvil. Water trickled quietly down the anvil into the pool.

He gazed into the lit water. It was clean and clear. He leaned over the rim and rinsed his hands in it. It was cool and eased the burn of his scrapes. He sniffed at it. It smelled clean. Dwarves were very assiduous engineers. He didn't doubt that even after all this time, this was a potable water source and he was rather thirsty. Before he thought better of it, he dipped his hand in it and drank. The water was actually very good.

He drank his fill, rinsed the dust and grit off his face and then lifted himself up onto one of the benches. It was long and wide enough for him to lie on, if still made of stone. As he rested, he came to the conclusion that he would have to wait here for rescue. He was injured and would probably only injure himself more if he continued. At least here he had some light and water. He didn’t think he had to worry about air anymore. As large as this room was with only him in it, it would give his dwarves plenty of time to find him. Although he did wish they would hurry.

~~~~~

When the dwarves arrived on the next level, they wasted no time calling for more lights. They found the downward stair from the map but it had suffered in the blast as well, having completely collapsed. Bofur called out orders and soon they had the operation of clearing it underway.

Thorin felt completely useless watching from the sidelines. He had tried to help. He wasn’t completely ignorant of these kind of operations, but Bofur had waved him back, advising him and the others to stand aside. He had been angry at first, feeling as if he needed to be doing something to get him closer to Bilbo.  

"You don't know the rock like we do,” Bofur had explained. “You're an amazing swordsmith, but I'm the amazing miner. Let me do what I know best.” Thorin had wanted to pull rank but after a moment’s consideration, he conceded knowing Bofur was right. “I promise,” Bofur said gently, “I'll bring him back to you."

He understood the expediency of the decision but it left him at loose ends. He crouched down, out of the way, back against the wall. His head was bowed, his hands clutched in his hair. All he could think of was Bilbo. Was he alright? Was he frightened? Was he hurt? His mind circled until he found himself thinking as if he was speaking to Bilbo. We’re coming. Hold tight. Don’t be afraid. I am coming for you.

At least it distracted him. He wasn’t even sure what time it was anymore. He only focused on reaching out to Bilbo. If he could feel Bilbo, would it be possible for Bilbo to feel him? He didn’t realize how focused he was. Kili shouldered Fili, pointing him out. He had shifted and was crouched on the balls of his feet and his hands, like an animal crouching before it leaped into action, his body straining forward toward the stair, towards Bilbo.

A cheer went up when the last of the rock was cleared away. Thorin jumped to his feet and rushed to the edge of work area. The demolished stairs had been cleared away. Ropes and a pulley were being rigged. Bofur and one of his crew were strapping on head lamps and harnesses. “Give us just ten minutes to make an assessment. We just need to make sure it’s safe for all of us to be down there. We don’t want to cause more damage that might make it harder to get to him.” Thorin nodded. He could see the logic even if it was killing him to wait. “I’m sure he’s down there. We’ll find him,” he assured Thorin as he was lowered down into the darkness.

~~~~~

Bilbo woke slowly. He didn’t particularly want to wake up. Sleeping on a rock bier only made him feel more tired and he had been having such a lovely dream. Thorin had been stroking his hair, telling him that he was safe now. He’d felt warm and now that he was waking, he could feel the cold of the rock. He was wishing he’d stayed asleep when he heard it, the chink of metal on rock and of rock shifting. He sat up trying to place where the sound was coming from but it echoed in the darkness.

~~~~~

When he hit bottom, Bofur turned to sweep his light across the cavern. It was sizable, just as everything in Erebor was.

“Bilbo!” he called loudly. “Bilbo!” It was only a moment before he heard the frantic response.

“Here! I’m over here!”

Bofur smiled. “Stay put! We’ll come getcha!” Bilbo was beyond relieved when he saw two lights bobbing towards him and even more so when he was able to make out Bofur’s face as he neared. When Bofur realized Bilbo wasn’t getting up, he ran over to him. “Are you alright?”

“I’m mostly alright. I fell and hurt my ankle. I can’t stand on it.”

“If that's the only thing, we'll count you lucky. Everyone’s been going out of their minds looking for you. Thorin can barely form words! Why, after we found...”

Bilbo patted Bofur’s arm to interrupt him. Once he got started, he could talk himself into a tizzy and Bilbo didn’t want to stay any longer than he had to but he did have one question before they left this place behind. “Bofur, what is this place?” he asked pointing to the statue.

Bofur walked up to it. “It’s Mahal,” he said incredulously. He turned, sweeping his lamp across the pool and benches. “I think this is one of what they called Mahal’s Rooms. My grandfather told me about them. They used them back before the rail and pulley transports were invented. Without them, going from the mines back to the city was a long way to walk and carry stuff. So they had these rooms where miners could stop to rest. Sometimes, they had base camps set up in them, depending on the operation. They stopped using them a long time ago,” he said absently reaching to touch the statue’s hand.

“It would be like you to fall into one,” Bofur said cheerily, returning to himself. “I won’t wonder if Thorin decides to keep it like it is.” As he backed away, the other dwarf stepped forward to gingerly touch the hand of Mahal in reverence.

“Well let’s get you out of here and get you looked at." He reached out to pick Bilbo up, moving his arms a couple of times, trying to find the right position. He stopped, considering Bilbo’s size. “Mebbe it’s better if we let Melek here carry you,” he said gesturing to the taller dwarf behind him. “He’s got longer arms.”

“As much as I resent what you're implying, I just want to get out of here,” Bilbo said giving Bofur a wry smile.

The other dwarf stepped forward and bowed. “I’d be honored to carry you out, Amad Mimur.”

“What did you call him?” Bofur asked, barking a laugh.

“What did you call me?” Bilbo asked as he was gently lifted by the miner, who was a rather large fellow. Once he was in the miner’s arms and closer to his face, he could make out his features. “Do I know you? You seem familiar to me.”

“You tended me in the tents of healing, Amad Mimur,” the miner explained as he began walking. “It means Tiny Mother. You treated us gently, all of us. We remember, those of us who survived. Those who could not be saved, they said they went to Mahal in peace if they were tended by you.”

“I remember you! You woke when I sang to you and gave me this,” Bilbo said brushing back his hair to show the ear cuff he wore.

“Ah! I thought maybe that had been a dream! I am honored you kept it.”

“I think I’m going to start calling you that from now on, Tiny Mother,” Bofur said gaily.

“You wouldn’t!”

“Oh, wouldn’t I?” Bofur grinned at him and began explaining everything that had happened.

When they reached the collapsed stair, Bofur shouted up that they’d found him. There was a commotion and then bright lights were shining down on them. Bilbo lifted a hand to shield his eyes when he heard Thorin say his name amongst all the voices. He twisted, trying to see his face and had unconsciously raised his hand to reach out for him. Melek called him back with a murmured “easy.” Bofur called out instructions and ropes and belts were lowered down.

He explained what he was doing as he fixed the harness around Melek and secured Bilbo as best he could to the dwarf. “They’ll lift you straight up but you have to be still,” he instructed. Bilbo nodded, not trusting himself to speak. This mess was so close to ending. He looked up but the lights kept him from making out faces. Even so, he could almost feel Thorin’s anxiety raining down from above. It matched his own.

It wasn’t comfortable and the rising motion made him a little dizzy, but they were lifted free and set down. Then everything seemed to be happen at once. People were moving around him. Hands were untying the harnesses. There was a cacophony of voices. It was confusing to him and he couldn’t get a handle on it until he was being lifted out of Melek’s arms and into Thorin’s. When he realized, he surged forward, wrapping his arms around Thorin’s neck, holding himself against Thorin as tight as he could. When he felt Thorin’s arm wrap around him and the hand in his hair, holding his head against Thorin’s shoulder, he sighed in relief. It came out more like a sob and Thorin’s arms tightened around him. He was being held so snugly, sound was muffled out and all he could hear above his own wildly beating heart was Thorin’s rumbling “Thank Mahal… Thank Mahal...” being pressed into his ear.

They stayed like that, locked in their own little bubble for several minutes until their anxiety had mostly ebbed away. When awareness seeped back in, Bilbo felt the warmth of additional hands on his back. He turned his head, blinking moisture from his eyes; they had been closed so tightly. Fili and Kili were leaning above them. It was their hands he felt. He tried to speak but his throat was closed up. He cleared it and tried again.

“I’m alright. We’re alright.” He could almost feel the wave of relief ripple out amongst his family. Thorin’s body relaxed some under him. He noticed Thorin was down on one knee, supporting him with the other.

“But they hit you,” he said eyeing the bruise on Bilbo’s face.

“And his ankle is hurt,” Bofur announced in the silence.

“I’m more bruised than a mishandled apple,” he sighed resignedly. He knew Thorin would feel more put out if he didn’t fess up to his injuries upfront only to be found out later.

“You need to be checked out,” Thorin said seriously. “Have you had any water or food since they took you?”

“They gave me water once…” he started. He could feel Thorin tensing in reaction so he hurried on. “... and there was water down there,” he nodded toward the hole he’d been brought up from.

“Would you believe we found him in one of Mahal’s Rooms?” Bofur chuckled.

“What’s a Mahal Room?” Kili asked.

As Bofur quickly explained, Kili’s eyes grew wide and he turned to stare at Bilbo. “It even had a statue of Mahal!” Bilbo pursed his lips hoping Kili wasn’t going to say anything about Mahal saving him, at least not right now when tensions were still high. It’s not like he hadn’t thought of it. He had. Right now just wasn’t the time to contemplate it.

“Let’s get you out of here,” Thorin said standing. He didn’t know how much more of this he could take. He urgently wanted to get Bilbo somewhere safe.

“Once we post guards at your door, I’ll go see if that other one’s awake yet. See if we can’t get more information out of him,” Dwalin said from behind Thorin.

“You mean they survived?” Bilbo yelled. “Well, you just take me to that turnip faced… cabbage for brains… lily-livered… orc get,” he spat out. “I’m going to thump him into the afterlife for what they did! Breaking into my smail! Hurting my people! You take me to him, Thorin Oakenshield!” With each word, Bilbo got louder and angrier. It was a surprise to all of them that he had that kind of energy after three days apparently without sustenance.

“That’d be that explosive anger he told us about,” Fili remarked to Kili. “Hadn’t seen it ‘til now.”

Bilbo turned sharply towards Fili and Kili. “That’s because I was with my family! But those nitwits were going to take me away! Abductions and rock slides and poisonings! Taking me Eru knows where to do Eru knows what with me when I have a baby, a _baby_ in me! Anything could have happened!”

Because Thorin was watching his face, he saw the exact moment that Bilbo’s anger gave way to shock. He abruptly turned, ducking back into Thorin’s neck like he wanted to burrow deeper. “Take me home, Thorin.” Bilbo’s lower tone still sounded angry but Thorin could hear the beginnings of a panic underlying it. “Now, Thorin. Take me home.” Thorin froze, for a moment thinking Bilbo was so traumatized, he wanted to return to his home in the Shire.  

“Take me to our rooms, Thorin, please” Bilbo whispered, begging, his small hands fisting in Thorin’s tunic. He didn’t want to fall apart here, in front of all these people but it suddenly felt like everything that had happened in the past couple of days was pressing down on him and he was going to break from it.

Thorin tightened his arms around Bilbo. He called out a sharp “We’re moving now!” and stalked off, despite the exclamations that followed. All of the other dwarves hurried to take up positions around him. He rushed through the tunnels almost at a run. He could hear the clanging of armor and weapons of those surrounding him but his senses were more tuned to the tight pinch of Bilbo’s fingers as he held tightly to him. He could feel the slight shakiness of each breath Bilbo took, fighting to keep it together until he was somewhere he could feel safe. In his mind, he could hear Bilbo’s voice repeating, “anything could have happened... anything could have happened.” He could almost feel Bilbo’s panic vibrating on the edges of his own mind.

As they neared their own hall, he heard Bilbo whisper, “Make them stay. Don’t let them in… not yet.”

He barked the order for the others to wait out in the hall. He heard several protests but he growled “Do it! I will come for you shortly,” as he brushed into Bilbo’s suite. He hardly noticed the door being shut behind them. When he made to lay Bilbo on the couch, Bilbo shook his head roughly. Thorin headed back to the bedroom as the sobs began to break, seeping out through the cracks in Bilbo’s shattering composure. He lay Bilbo down gently, laying down beside him, Bilbo clinging to him. He wrapped his arms around Bilbo pulling him in close to his chest.

The sobbing built, widening the cracks until the dam broke and it was all Thorin could do to hold Bilbo. He found he couldn’t say any soothing words of the type one would expect him to say because he wasn’t fine either. Three days. It had taken them almost three solid days to find and get to Bilbo and they were lucky because the mountain had worked against the conspirators. If they had gotten Bilbo out of Erebor, they would be chasing them down even now. Or Mahal forbid, something even more dire could have happened.

The more he thought of it, the tighter he held Bilbo, the calmer Bilbo seemed to get, until finally he could hear the sobs turn into small hitched breaths as he quieted. He thought he might be hurting Bilbo with how tight he was gripping him but when he loosened his arms, Bilbo whined and squirmed to stay closer.

After a few more minutes of quiet breathing, Bilbo mumbled, “My face hurts.” Thorin pulled back, cupping Bilbo’s cheek with his palm. He’d been hit enough in the face to know what a bruise like that felt like and the crying would have made it feel much worse. Bilbo probably had a headache on top of whatever other ailments were hurting him.

“I’ll get Oin,” he said disengaging from Bilbo. Bilbo grabbed the sleeve of his tunic as he turned.

“Don’t leave me.” It sounded piteous, but Bilbo could not have cared less in this moment.

“I’m not leaving. I’ll never leave you... but you do need to be examined.” Thorin brushed Bilbo’s hair out of his face. “Let Oin look at you. Then we’ll get you cleaned up. You’ll feel better. And I won’t leave.” Bilbo nodded, sniffing his tears back. “I’ll be back in just a minute.”

When Bilbo had let him go, he exited the room, closing the door quietly. He got halfway down the small hallway before he had to lean against the wall and breathe. It was too much, the swirl of emotions inside him. It was anger and a need for retribution, sadness and a profound sense of relief, and still more worry. If Bilbo didn’t need him to be strong, he knew he’d fall apart like Bilbo had. But Bilbo did need him and he wasn’t going to fail him again. He steeled himself, pushing all the emotions down back under his control.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Khuzdul adapted and abused from the Khuzdul Dictionary by the Dwarrow Scholar.


	30. Breathe in, breathe out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK so... don’t squint too hard at the timeline. Since he was abducted about noonish the first day, it’s actually been like 50ish hours, but the third day. It’s early afternoon.
> 
> Also I am not a medical professional and don't believe everything you read on the internet (see end notes), consult your physician and all that.

When Thorin opened the suite door, Oin was standing there, holding his examination bag with a thunderous expression, everyone looking over his shoulders. “You going to let me in now?” he demanded.

Thorin nodded, stepping back to let him pass. He waved the others back. “He’s a bit overwhelmed. Give him a little time. I’m sure he’ll want visitors later,” he said closing the door.

He followed Oin back and helped Bilbo sit up, pushing pillows behind his back.

“Now start from the beginning and tell me everything that’s wrong with ye. Don’t leave anything out,” he stated firmly but at a lower volume than he normally spoke at. It was probably the closest to gentle Oin ever got.

Bilbo took a deep breath, thinking back. “They knocked me out when they came. I don’t know how long I was out. There’s just a small bump here,” he said rubbing a spot on the back of his head. “My wrist was twisted and being tied up didn’t help it.” Thorin and Oin both noted his purple ringed wrists. “The leader hit me after I pushed one of them off a cliff,” he gestured to his bruised face but didn’t notice Thorin’s increasingly angry stare or Oin’s surprised bugged eyes. “Then I fell in the dark and twisted my ankle,” he said leaning over as far as he could to gingerly touch the injured ankle. “More bruises but it’s not broken. Oh, and my back hurts from sleeping on stone for three days.” He gave a little nod at the end of his list. “But honestly, the back spasms aren’t that bad. I’m sure they’ll go away after sleeping in my own bed tonight. My face honestly hurts the most.”

“Hmmm… back spasms, you say?” Oin said contemplatively. “Show me where on your back you feel it.”

Bilbo scootched up on the bed, turning slightly and running his hand low along his back. “Here and sometimes in my hips.” He looked up at Oin who was frowning.

“And they haven’t been bothering you long?”

Bilbo shook his head. “Just since I woke, right before Bofur found me.”

Oin made a gestured to Bilbo’s belly for permission to touch. Bilbo nodded and waited as Oin felt gently on differing spots along the top and the under curve. After, he stepped back.

“It might be just back pain. You did a lot of walking and I can’t imagine that was easy for you. But it could also be the stress of the past few days causing you to have early contractions. That’s not to say it’s the onset of labor, but let’s not leave it unchecked, shall we?”

Bilbo became very still and found himself reaching out to take Thorin’s hand. “You mean… you think I might be having the baby?”

“If it’s contractions, they’re very mild and that’s why you think it’s just yer back. There are some steps we can take to relax those muscles that sometimes can stop early contractions and we’ll be trying some of those but it’s possible they may be the beginnings of actual labor. Either way, we all need to stay as calm as we can."

“But I’m not quite nine months. You said dwarfs carry ten,” Bilbo said anxiously.

Oin held out his hands in a placating gesture to stress calm in the face of this new turn of events. “Yes, but you said hobbits carry seven. Babies come early often enough but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. First, I’m going to have a glass of wine brought for you.” Seeing Bilbo’s look of concern he explained further. “It will help relax your muscles. Together with other measures, it may be enough to halt the muscle contractions. It won’t hurt the babe if it’s just one glass. He’s far along enough that he’ll be fine. Then into the bath with you for a nice, long soak. Make it as hot as you’re comfortable with. Half an hour at least, mind. Then we’ll get some nice hot soup for you to eat, warm up your insides. It’s probably best since you haven’t eaten in a couple of days. Just do everything you can to relax and take the pressure off your abdomen and back, alright?” When he received affirming nods, he tilted his head for Thorin to follow him out.

In the hallway, Oin pulled him aside. “You have got to make sure that he relaxes if this is going to work. Don’t let him work himself up. You know how he is. I’ll keep it calm out here but you have got to keep it calm in there,” he said pointing back to the bedroom. “Got it?”

Thorin nodded gravely. “I’ll do my best.”

“Yeah, well... don’t look like someone’s died either. You’ll scare ‘im. He’ll be fine.” Oin slapped Thorin on the back and turned down the hall. He opened the door and began issuing instructions.

“Kili, go find your mother. Let her know I may need her later. Dori, fetch a glass of wine. Make it a mellow one, not too strong. Better yet, make it two-thirds of a glass. He’s kind of a small fella. Bombur, fetch a nice, hot soup for Bilbo, not too rich mind. Remember, he hasn’t eaten in a few days. The rest of you, if you’re aren’t guardin’ this door quietly, get out of here and take a bath! You all stink and Bilbo may want to see you all later. Don’t disturb him for now. Off with ye.” He shooed some of them away. Some, like Bofur, Dwalin and Bifur, would not be moved but took up positions along the hallway, despite the extra guards Dwalin had already posted. Oin headed down to his infirmary for supplies.

Thorin reentered the bedroom to find Bilbo waiting with wide eyes. “What was it that he felt I couldn’t hear?”

Thorin went to sit beside Bilbo. “He said I needed to look less grumpy so that I do not scare you.”

Bilbo scowled at him. “That is not what he said. Be serious.”

“On my honor, it is what he said.” He gently brushed Bilbo’s hair back from his face. “He said you should not worry. You will be fine. The babe will be fine. Now, we have to ready you for the bath. Give me a moment.” He ducked into the bathing room, testing the water. He made a small adjustment before returning to Bilbo’s side.

“Let me remove your braids,” he offered, sitting again beside Bilbo. His fingers began unwinding the half undone plaits slowly. “Tell me how you really are,” he asked softly.

Bilbo leaned against Thorin. “I’m frightened. I’ve been frightened for days. I was afraid they were going to take me away from you. And I was afraid for our baby,” he said resting his arm along the top of his belly.

“It will never happen. No one will take you from me. They failed and the mountain herself crushed their bones for attempting it,” Thorin said, wrapping his arms around Bilbo and rubbing his back slowly.

“I’m so tired,” he breathed slumping against Thorin. “I just want it to stop.” He closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of Thorin’s warm hands for a few moments before he spoke again. “What do you think will happen?”

“I don’t know but you are strong. I know that whatever comes next, you will be able to weather it. We have only to do as Oin instructed.” They sat for some moments in silence before there was a soft tapping at the door. He kept his arms around Bilbo when he called for the person to enter.

Dori walked in with a delicate wine glass in his hands. “Oin says you’re to drink that and then into the bath with you,” he said handing the glass over. “Let me know if you need anything. Lunch will be up shortly.” He gave Bilbo an encouraging smile before letting himself quietly out.

After drinking the wine, Thorin helped Bilbo undress. He felt chilled until Thorin wrapped him in his dressing gown while he undressed himself. Then he lifted Bilbo up.

“I can probably walk it,” Bilbo said.

“Not with a twisted ankle, you won’t. You’ve already fallen once in the bath.” In the bathing room, Thorin managed to unwrap the dressing gown, dropping it to the floor as he walked them down into the steaming water.

Bilbo sighed as the heat enveloped his body. “That feels amazing.”

Wading in, Thorin sat on the submerged ledge along the side, arranging Bilbo across his lap, the water reaching mid-chest on Bilbo. It would have made Bilbo nervous but for the arm Thorin had around him. Bilbo leaned against his chest, his head resting on Thorin’s shoulder. They sat in silence for some time, both enjoying the feel of the other. Thorin could feel Bilbo becoming loose limbed and breathed in relief.

“Hand me my bathing sponge, will you?” Bilbo finally spoke. Thorin reached over and handed over Bilbo’s bathing things. He knew Bilbo would want to scrub thoroughly. He was too fastidious not to take advantage of the bath. He held on as Bilbo moved about, cleansing himself. It wasn’t until he had done the best he could, even washing his hair, before Bilbo asked to be set down.

“You’ll need to wash yourself so you can stay with me,” he explained. Remembering how Bilbo had asked him to stay, Thorin knew Bilbo wouldn’t want him to leave for any reason so he obeyed. When he was done, he sat back down, pulling Bilbo gently back into his lap. Bilbo didn’t protest. He’d been away from Thorin too long. He was content to rest against him.

Bilbo opened his eyes when he heard a door closing. He had fallen asleep and wasn’t sure how much time had passed. He looked up at Thorin who was calmly watching him. “Lunch has been brought. Do you want to stay in the bath longer?” he asked.

Bilbo shook his head. “No. I’m hungry and I’m already wrinkled.” Thorin stood and with sure steps, exited the bathing pool. Bilbo felt like a small child when Thorin set him down on the counter on a towel, wrapping another around him and handing him a third. Bilbo began toweling his hair dry as Thorin quickly dried his body. He wrapped the towel around his waist before lifting Bilbo and carrying him back into the bedroom.

He’d just set Bilbo on the bed when Oin announced himself at the door. Thorin let him enter and with Bilbo’s consent, examine all of his injuries. The bruises were as numerous as he had feared. Thorin had tried not to mind them in the bath but now he had to hold his anger in check as he saw how dark each one was. Everything was rubbed with salve. Oin wrapped the ankle and said his head was fine. After that, he excused himself so Bilbo could dress.

Thorin helped him don a soft nightshirt for warmth, then tucked Bilbo under the blankets before disappearing into his room to dress. While Thorin was away, Bilbo noticed someone had got a warm fire going. He arranged pillows behind his back as the soup was brought in. He felt the trail of heat slide down his innards as he drank the broth. The next time Oin came, he brought a medicine he said would help alleviate Bilbo’s pain and relax his muscles more.

“How are you feeling now?” Thorin asked after the dish trays had been cleared away. Bilbo was in the process of snuggling down into Thorin’s arms, trying to find a position that took pressure off of his back.

“Better, definitely more relaxed.” He was deliberately lying on Thorin’s normal side of the bed, so he was able to place his ear just over Thorin’s heart. He was asleep in moments.

~~~~~

Dis had been holding down the fort while Thorin and company had been on the hunt. She sat through the meetings that could not be avoided and cancelled those that could. She had effectively cleared Thorin’s schedule by the time Kili found her.

After he brought her up to speed, he ran to his workshop. He had not forgotten his promise to Bilbo, but stone was not his best medium. He had been putting off giving Bilbo the carved altar he had made for his garden, wanting it to be perfect, thinking to add some finishing touches, but he didn’t feel like he could wait any longer. He picked it up and stopping only in the kitchen, took it to Bilbo’s room.

He was given odd looks carrying it in, but he ignored them, taking it out onto the terrace. There, in Bilbo’s flower garden, he set it next to the altar Bilbo had already set up. His blocky, carved pillar was a contrast to the thinner stand holding up a delicate glass bowl. They would have to find a way to anchor it before fall, he thought, reaching into his pockets. He took the nuts and berries he had scrounged and placed in them in the bowl. He used Bilbo’s watering can to fill the stone basin carved out of the pillar.

Then he waited… two whole minutes. He didn’t know just what he’d been waiting for. The ring of a hammer striking an anvil, a flock of birds descending on the altar, a sign that his offering had been accepted, something, anything. He shrugged his shoulders and went back into the mountain. He hoped it worked. Bilbo believed it did.

When Kili returned after having a bath, most of the company was packed into Bilbo’s living room. They were all clean and sitting, occupying themselves silently: Ori crocheting, Bofur whittling, Dwalin and Nori with sharpening weapons.

“Oin let us stay if we’re quiet,” Ori whispered to him. “He said he figured Bilbo needs family nearby so he said we can stay as long as we behave.” Kili nodded, settling himself next to Fili. After a couple of minutes of silence, Balin leaned forward.

“What was that that you took into Bilbo’s garden?”

Kili fidgeted, unsure of what he could say. “It’s a… a thing I made for Bilbo.” Kili pointedly did not look at Balin because as his teacher, Balin had a way of patiently getting information out of him. He really wanted to tell the story but Bilbo had made him promise not to.

“Yes, lad, but what is it?” Balin asked again.

“It’s a… a thing... for his garden,” Kili brightened, figuring he could explain it away this way. “See he has two of them, one you put nuts and berries in and the other you put water in.”

“What for?”asked Gloin, his thumb worrying circles on his locket, a nervous habit he had.

“Oh, for animals and birds and things.” There was a moment where everybody paused to consider the use of leaving tidbits out for animals.

“Is it to lure them for trapping?” Dwalin asked confused.

“No! No… it’s uh… to take care of them.”

“Is that a hobbity thing, taking care of little animals?” Bofur asked. At that, Ori perked up. He wanted to pay attention and remember what was said so he could record it later.

“Uh… I guess?” Kili foundered. He looked nervously over at Fili who was studiously not looking a Kili.

“So hobbits like to take care of little animals? Did Bilbo have any little animals when he lived in the Shire?” Ori asked.

Kili gulped, looking nervous. He knew Ori was only getting started on the questions. He didn’t know how many he could answer before everything came tumbling out.

Nori had been watching Kili closely. “You’re hiding something,” he declared. “There’s something you’re not telling us about that thing.” All eyes turned to Kili and everyone leaned forward, eager to hear what he would say. Kili panicked, turned towards Fili for help. Fili sighed, his head resting against his hand.

“He can’t tell you. He promised Bilbo he wouldn’t say.” Kili slumped in relief that his brother had come to his rescue.

“But you know, don’t you?” Nori pried. Fili looked up at Nori’s considering eyes. “He told you but you didn’t promise not to say, did you?”

“Well?” Dwalin demanded.

Fili turned to Kili who was looking back at him eagerly, probably at having found a loophole that would allow him to tell the story without technically breaking his promise.

“Well...” Fili drawled. He gave one last look toward Bilbo’s bedroom but secretly, he agreed with Kili. It involved their own maker. The dwarves deserved to know. “It started during the battle…” He told the story, all of the dwarves rapt as it unfolded. “And hobbits do this thing where they have basins that they put food and water in for birds and small animals as thanks to their maker so he put one up in thanks to our maker too.”

“But do you see?” urged Kili. “The rock slide killed those goons.”

“One’s not dead yet,” Bombur clarified.

“He will be soon enough,” Dwalin muttered.

“We did find him in one of Mahal’s rooms,” Bofur mused.

“She made them and he made us,” Kili continued excitedly. “And Uncle Thorin and Bilbo are… are… well you know… together and now they’re having a baby and it’s like, it’s like their grandchild. Of course they’re gonna protect him!”

Fili hung his head in his hands. Kili always took things too far, but as he peeked around at the company, some seemed to actually be considering Kili’s conclusion.

“In any case,” Balin said, “he’s safe now and it doesn’t hurt to thank the Maker.”

Bifur grunted something about nuts and berries.

“Well, if it’s the proper thing to do,” replied Dori.

“Just… don’t tell him you know,” Kili added. “He doesn’t want people thinking he’s crazy.”

~~~~~

Oin had checked on him three times by the Bilbo woke. He stretched lazily, his limbs bumping against Thorin’s body. He opened his eyes to find Thorin watching him again.

“How are you feeling?”

Bilbo closed his eyes, concentrating on his body for a moment. “Better. I don’t feel the ache in my back.” He stretched his arm across Thorin’s waist and leaned into him. “Do you think it passed?”

Thorin wrapped his arms around Bilbo. “We shall see what Oin says.” Oin declared him past any danger but admonished Bilbo to let him know of any changes. With that, Bilbo asked if everyone was alright. Thorin wrapped him up in his dressing gown and carried him out to see the company. Everyone stood and gathered around him with their well wishes.

Bilbo recounted what had happened from the beginning. He could tell it made his dwarves very angry but he knew it meant they were concerned for him. They cheered when he recounted the fight and pushing the dwarf down the cliff. He was pretty sure he heard someone mumble about how that one could rot at the bottom for all time.

Dis and Lady Bruni joined them as dinner was brought in and if the dwarves’ normal raucous manner was subdued somewhat in deference to Bilbo, no one commented on it. He asked after Brundi, Knute and Hruf. Everyone assured him they were fine. As a slice of pie was set in front of him with a dollop of cream, he cried, “my goats!” Dori hurried to assure him the goats were well, that Brundi had, even in her illness, issued instructions for their care.

After dinner, with everyone mutually assured that they were all doing well, Oin shooed most of the dwarves away. Fili and Kili refused to leave. Thorin refused to let go of Bilbo. They ended up before the fire, Bilbo cradled on Thorin’s lap, Fili and Kili to either side. After Bilbo had dozed off, the cheerful banter they had kept up for Bilbo’s sake dropped away.

“I’m not leaving him,” Thorin informed Dis. “Dwalin and Nori can send me reports. I don’t want him upset. Cancel all my council meetings or go in my place. Fili can help.”

“It’s done already,” she assured him. “Bilbo seems to be holding up remarkably well. What about you?”

Thorin reflexively tightened his arms around Bilbo who made a small mewl in protest. It took effort for Thorin to loosen his grip.

“They have committed the most heinous of crimes,” he said instead.

Dis motioned to her sons. They rose, murmuring their goodnights to their uncle. As Thorin rose to take Bilbo to bed, she stepped up to him. “Do not let anger at their crimes keep you from the joy of having him still with you,” she said bending down to kiss Bilbo’s head. He nodded to acknowledge her. He watched as she bolted the newly installed door from within and followed her as she slipped out through the adjoining door in the bedroom.

Bilbo stirred when Thorin lay him in bed. He shushed him as he stepped away to take care of his own physical needs. When he returned, he gently worked Bilbo out of his nightshirt and curled around him. Bilbo sleepily murmured “don’t leave me” as Thorin pulled the furs over them. He kissed Bilbo’s cheek, whispering “never, I’ll never leave” until Bilbo fell back asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yes, the wine thing. I thought, "hmm, how would they have tried to prevent pre-term labor in ye olden days before modern medications?" So I googled and found this:  
> [ birthbliss.wordpress.com/2011/11/02/natural-ways-to-stop-and-prevent-pre-term-labourlabor](http://www.birthbliss.wordpress.com/2011/11/02/natural-ways-to-stop-and-prevent-pre-term-labourlabor/). Take it as you will.


	31. Sleep now, my darling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally say it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! Sorry! I haven't abandoned this. This chapter just didn't want to work with me. Plus, holidays. But that's over and our boys finally get somewhere.

When Bilbo had fallen asleep, he had been perfectly safe and content in his warm cocoon. Now, being dredged up from blissful oblivion, he could tell there was something wrong.

It took only a moment of bleary wakefulness to realize his cocoon was restless and mumbling in his sleep. Thorin’s arms, still locked around him, were gently rocking him as Thorin moved to whatever dream he was having. He listened trying to make out what Thorin was saying but was only able to make out small snatches of words, ‘find ‘im… can’t lose…”

He gently shook Thorin’s shoulder, softly saying his name to try to rouse him, but it had the opposite effect. The more he called Thorin’s name, the more agitated he became, mumbling “have to find him…” over and over.

Bilbo realized Thorin was having a nightmare and trying to startle him awake was maybe not the best idea. Guessing the gist of the dream from what he’d heard, he decided to try a different tact. He pressed into Thorin. “I’m here. I’m safe,” he said, stroking Thorin’s hair back from his face. “I’m here,” he repeated hoping Thorin would hear him. It didn’t take long before it had a soothing effect. Thorin stilled, his words tapering off while Bilbo continued to whisper in the quiet. “I’m here. I’m safe.”

He knew Thorin was awake when he felt the arms around him release him as Thorin rolled onto his back. “I’m sorry,” Thorin said, his eyes still closed.

Bilbo propped himself up onto his elbow. “It was a nightmare. There’s no need to be sorry.”

“Over the years I learned not to disturb others, but I have awakened you when you need your rest.”

“Hush now,” Bilbo chided softly. “You can’t help what your mind does when you’re sleeping and I’d rather wake to stir you from it than let you suffer.” They were silent for a few moments before Bilbo felt brave enough to ask. “Was it me? Was it because of what happened?”

Thorin tightened his eyes shut. “Yes. They are often about you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“The fault is my own. When we could not find trace of you anywhere, I feared the worst. Dreams of not finding you or finding you too late plagued me. I could do nothing and it was my fault because I had driven you away.”

Bilbo put his fingers over Thorin’s lips to stop him. “I said hush. Those things are in the past and we don’t have to talk of them any more.” Bilbo knew Thorin was like him. It was hard to express his feelings and he really didn’t want to rehash old hurts.

Thorin’s arm curled again around Bilbo’s waist, pulling him against his side. “I could not… I cannot lose you again.”

Bilbo tucked his head under Thorin’s chin. He could hear Thorin’s heart beat, feel its rhythm in the sensitive edge of his ear pressed against his chest. It was the most reassuring sound in his world.

“I’m not leaving. They had to carry me away.”

“But you left before,” Thorin said dismally.

“I didn’t want to,” Bilbo replied softly. He didn’t want to think of the time before, but if that’s what it took to put Thorin’s mind to rest, then they would talk about it. “I didn’t think you wanted me anymore because of what I’d done and I was afraid that when you found out that I was carrying, that you would think it too… irregular.” Bilbo stopped, unable to speak the fear that had kept him alone.

“You were afraid I would reject you again?” Thorin asked. Bilbo nodded. “My sins are many to make you believe you were not wanted. You are… you are perfect, Bilbo. Never believe anything else. You are _everything_ to me.”

Whatever their bond entailed, regardless of their differences between hobbit and dwarf, Bilbo could feel the depth of Thorin’s sincerity. The words sank deep and a warmth suffused him. Added to the already emotional state he’d been in for the past few days, he couldn’t stop the tears that fell when he closed his eyes. Thorin felt them and tipped Bilbo’s head up.

“I have made you cry again,” he said remorsefully.

“No, no, it’s… you understand don’t you? I don’t want to leave you, not ever. I don’t want to be anywhere else or with anyone else.” With Thorin looking at him, Bilbo hoped he would see what he couldn’t seem to say.

“Then stay with me. Be with me. You are my One.” Bilbo nodded, fresh tears spilling down his cheeks. “I love you.” Bilbo whispered the words back to Thorin thinking that three small words could not possibly contain all he felt. As they lay wrapped around each other, Bilbo felt like his world had finally righted.

After several minutes, Bilbo stirred, pulling back. “Are you assured now that I won’t leave?”

“Yes,” Thorin affirmed, his voice gruff with his own tumultuous emotions.

“Good, now help me up. I need the privy right now,” Bilbo said pragmatically. Thorin smiled as he swung his legs over the bed.

~~~~~

Thorin later woke to a shaking bed and a growling sound. Opening his eyes, he saw Bilbo scooting his way to the opposite edge of the bed.

“Where are you going?” he asked as he heard the growling sound again.

Bilbo turned back to him. “Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. It's just… I'm hungry.”

Thorin realized the sound he was hearing was Bilbo’s protesting stomach. “Very hungry, I'd say,” he said, rising from the bed. “Stay here. I’ll get you something.” Bilbo started to say that he could manage but a look at his clock made him realize how early it was. He opted to stay warm in bed. Thorin wasn’t going to let him walk anyway.

He brought back a plate of sausage, cheese chunks and wafer bread. He watched as Bilbo layered and ate them with gusto. “Your appetite has certainly bounced back,” he noted.

“I don’t normally get this hungry at night,” Bilbo said between bites. Once he was satisfied, it didn’t take him long to fall back asleep. Thorin could only huff in wonder at his hobbit.

Over the next few days, Thorin rarely left Bilbo’s side and was very paranoid, Bilbo would say, about who he allowed near him. What that meant was that they didn’t leave the suite, which was fine by Bilbo. No one but the company, Dis, Bruni, Knute and Hruf were allowed into the actual suite, although guards were posted in the halls. Thorin might not have even allowed Knute or Hruf in, but no one else knew how to milk the goats and tend to the garden and with the situation as it was, they had a dire need for a page.

As Brundi was still recovering, Dori saw to all of the housekeeping himself. Meals were sent up if not made in the suite. There was a constant stream of deliveries as Bilbo was constantly hungry. Oin felt Bilbo was making up for the meals lost during his ordeal. Thorin wasn’t so sure but he kept his thoughts to himself. He did, however, give glares to anyone who looked as if they might interrupt Bilbo’s eating or sleeping. It was not to be allowed.

Thorin would read reports as he sat next to Bilbo but he saved conferencing until Bilbo was napping, especially when it came to Dwalin and Nori’s reports. Bilbo knew what was going on. After the third day of Thorin’s not-so-surreptitious meetings, he brought it up as they lay down to sleep.

“You don’t have to sneak around you know,” Bilbo said over his shoulder. Thorin, laying behind him, had his nose in Bilbo’s hair.

“I don’t know what you are speaking of.”

“I know I’ve had some emotional episodes lately, but that’s just the effect of the carrying and some very unfortunate circumstances. I have not suddenly become a wilting flower. You don’t have to hide the reports about my kidnappers.”

Thorin sighed. “I would rather it concern you no longer. We have already failed you so many times...”

Bilbo turned to face Thorin fully. “You didn’t fail me. You saved me. You came and found me.”

“It should never have happened.”

“You cannot stop everything bad from happening, Thorin. You take the responsibility for everyone on your shoulders but you can’t be responsible for the things others choose to do. It was not your fault.” He paused for emphasis. “And also... as much as I love having you with me, you can’t run your kingdom if you never leave my side. I know you have responsibilities. It’s alright. I know I share you with your kingdom and your people and I don’t mind. I am more than happy to take what you give me. You don’t have to feel bad about that either,” he said brushing a lock of hair behind Thorin’s ear.

Thorin pulled Bilbo closer. “You have all of me.” Bilbo was satisfied to lie silently for a few moments basking in the knowledge of Thorin’s affections. Thorin wasn’t very verbose when it came to feelings, making his statement all the more meaningful.

“I just don’t want any of it to touch you anymore,” Thorin eventually continued. “It will soon be dealt with.”

“What will happen to them?” Despite everything, Bilbo was curious. Thorin however, was not very forthcoming. “You can’t keep me locked away and ignorant, Thorin. If I’m to live here among your people, I have to know what’s going on around me.”

Thorin sighed. He knew Bilbo was right. “There are the four remaining conspirators. They have broken some of our most sacred laws. Not only did they kidnap a member of the royal family, they endangered a dwarf’s One, which endangers two lives because of the repercussions it can have. They have endangered a life-giver but worse still, they endangered the life of an unborn child. That is probably the most heinous crime.”

“What will their punishment be?”

“Death.” Thorin was sure that Bilbo, being a gentle being, would object. After a few moments with no objections, he pulled back to look at Bilbo. “You have nothing to say against it?”

Bilbo shook his head. “No, this is your kingdom. This is for you to decide. They are dwarves. They knew your laws. They made their decisions. Besides, those criminals never actually meant to let me go. If they had, they would’ve kept their names secret so they could get away but they didn’t bother. They meant to kill me in the end, of that I’m sure.” Thorin was a surprised by Bilbo’s commentary. “Only…” he hesitated.

“Only what?” Thorin prompted.

“Only, Nufi is so young. She didn’t realize what she was getting into. And Nori said…”

“Nori said? I think you were not as soundly asleep as you made out to be.” Bilbo’s cheeks tinged a slight pink.

“Yes, well, you were hiding things from me and I had to know.” He looked up into Thorin’s face. “I heard what he had to say, how she only got mired into it because she was flirting with that… whatever his name was, trying to impress him. That when she wanted out, they threatened her and her family.”

“She made her decisions as you say,” Thorin said gravely.

“I know, but still, I don’t think she knew how to get out or to stop them. I saw her face. I don’t think she meant for it to go that far. Please, Thorin,” he pleaded.

Thorin cupped Bilbo’s cheek. “Still so compassionate after everything,” he said almost to himself. “What would you have me do?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know about these things, judgements and punishments. Only, give her a chance.” Thorin’s thumb brushed back and forth as he thought about Bilbo’s plea. “Besides, isn’t she also a… a life-giver? It would be a shame to take away some future life because of the foolish choices of her youth. You are always saying your women are so few. Do you really want to make it less?”

Thorin watched as his hand moved to gently sweep across Bilbo’s belly, considering Bilbo’s words. “For the sake of a future life, I will give her another chance, but she must still be punished.”

“Of course,” Bilbo agreed quickly.

“She cannot stay here. I will not have her anywhere near you, not after what she has done,” he said thinking. “Banishment, then, fifty years to recompense for the lives she would have taken from me.”

“But where will she go?”

“She can stay in Dale. We will help her find a place to live and work among the humans. Fear not, my kind-hearted hobbit. She will not be destitute. Her family may visit her there, but she cannot enter the mountain. She must remain separate from our people until her sentence has passed. Does that satisfy you?”

Bilbo took Thorin’s hand and brought it to his lips for a kiss. “Thank you.”

Thorin leaned in and brushed his nose against Bilbo’s. “Only because you ask it.”

Bilbo turned and let Thorin pull him flush against his chest. “May I ask one more thing then?”

“Mmmm?” Thorin hummed as he buried his nose in Bilbo’s hair again.

“When you do… carry out the sentences, don’t make me be there. I don’t think I can.”

Thorin’s hand threaded Bilbo’s fingers and pulled them close, over Bilbo’s heart. “No, you don’t have to be there. I would protect you from that too. Sleep now. Don’t worry over these things.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thorin was trying to say, "I could not survive without you," but he was too emotional to get it out.


	32. In justice, in mercy, in peace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my darlings, we are so almost there! Thank you for your continued support. Seriously! Your kudos and comments really do make my day. You're awesome!

Thorin woke at his normal time. The nights since he and Bilbo had settled things between them had been more restful than any he could remember. He lay, one arm over Bilbo’s waist, the other supporting Bilbo’s head, the golden curls like silk against his skin. Today was the day he would return to some of his duties, even if the idea of leaving Bilbo still made him nervous.

He absently caressed the curve of Bilbo’s belly. He could tell that there had been growth in the past few days. He been watching Bilbo closely and he could see the differences. He had spoken with Oin who was convinced that since Bilbo had experienced early contractions, he would soon deliver. It made thinking of leaving him harder to bear but Bilbo was right. He couldn’t be with him all the time and run his kingdom. It almost made him wish he didn’t have that responsibility but if he had never tried to recover Erebor, he would never have met Bilbo, which was unthinkable.

Helping Bilbo through his morning routine was also giving him a new appreciation for the physical hardship of carrying. Dwarrow dams were tough and almost as muscular as their men but even they had a hard time of it near the end. Bilbo was softer and smaller. He could see it made Bilbo’s body ache so it was a surprise when Bilbo announced at breakfast that he was planning to go to the market.

“No.” Everyone stopped eating at Thorin’s flat refusal. Fili and Kili turned from Thorin to Bilbo and back. Dis kept reading her morning reports, waiting to see how the discussion would play out. “Anything you need can be delivered here."

“No, I have to go there. There are things I still need. How will I know what my choices are if I don’t see them?”

“We can have merchants bring their wares here.”

“That’s too much trouble and anyways, Nori thinks there is no danger.”

“There is always danger,” Thorin muttered petulantly.

“You’re going to send a regiment of guards with me anyway, so it will be safe and also I wasn't asking. It was agreed that I would have the freedom to do as I liked.” He hoped he sounded as calm and reasonable as he meant to sound.

Thorin grimaced. That was true. “It’s not that I want to deny you any freedom. I’m just not as confident as Nori is that there is no danger,” he explained.

“Nevertheless, you have to let me make my own decisions. It will be alright.”

“It _is_ pretty far to walk,” Fili commented. “Especially for someone as…”

“You better not say as big as me,” Bilbo warned in a rush.

“In your condition,” he amended carefully. “Won’t you get tired?”

Thorin watched Bilbo’s expression. He knew it would fatigue Bilbo and he could see Bilbo knew it too; he just didn’t want to admit it.

“Bring a sedan chair for him,” suggested Dis offhandedly, not looking up. Thorin shot her a disapproving look. She was not helping his side of the argument as a dutiful sister should. She returned his gaze nonplussed. “Think of it. It’s possible there may be some dissent for your judgement against dwarrows in support of a halfling that they know nothing about. But if he’s seen at the market, especially as far along as he is, it will turn public opinion to your side, solidifying support for your judgement against his attackers. Look at him. He appears so sweet and innocent plus he’s obviously about to give birth at any moment. There will be an outcry against Marus and his conspirators."

“You do realize I'm not as sweet and innocent as you’re trying to make me out to be,” Bilbo commented dryly.

“Doesn't matter. No one knows that and you're as cute as a button,” Dis all but cooed. “No one would speak against the sentence.” They all sat in silence considering.

“As much as I don’t particularly relish being used as a political pawn this way, she maybe has a point,” Bilbo said.

“Fine,” Thorin conceded. “But you’ll take extra guards and you’ll return at the first sign of any trouble.”

Bilbo stirred his porridge slowly as if considering Thorin conditions. Thorin knew it was just for show. He was sure Bilbo was aware he wasn't going to budge any further.

“Agreed,” Bilbo finally said lifting the spoon to hide his small smile.

At mid-morning, Kili and Dwalin came to escort Bilbo. When they reached the entrance to the royal halls and Bilbo saw the sedan chair they had found for him, he took a step back from it, bumping into Dwalin.

The contraption itself was lovely, gilded in gold and jewels but all Bilbo could see was a very small, closed box on wheels. Kili walked up to it and opened the door, which was on the front end between the arms to pull it with, with a flourish. The interior was well cushioned and upholstered in bright red velvet. Kili waited for Bilbo to enter. After a few moments, he looked at Bilbo who was wringing his hands nervously against his chest.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

“Did I ever mention that I’m a wee bit claustrophobic?” Bilbo said nervously.

Kili looked into the sedan and back to Bilbo. “It’s not that small.” When he got no response, he continued. “Look, these windows, they open, so you get plenty of air.” Bilbo watched as Kili examined the windows and found that no, they were not, in fact, retractable. With determination, Kili pulled out a long knife and began to prise the glass panes off. After catching onto what he was doing, Dwalin, without comment, stepped forward to help him.

Bilbo watched with exasperated fondness. Some might say they were defacing this work of art, but they were doing it so he would feel comfortable. He girded himself and stepped into it when they were done. He squirmed his way into a comfortable position as Kili closed him in, taking a deep breath. His eyes widened in alarm when it jerked forward, but it settled into a smooth rolling motion.

Bilbo slowly relaxed and kept up a conversation with Kili who walked at his left. The extra guards he tried to ignore but it was more difficult when they began walking through the market on foot. The presence of the six guards plus Kili, Dwalin and Knute pushed others away like a bubble surrounding him. He tried to go about his business but he did notice the looks his entourage was getting. This was exactly why he’d resisted the idea of extra guards, he sighed to himself.

He continued shopping, handing packages to Knute, arranging deliveries and studiously ignoring the whispering in their wake. Dwalin, he noticed, was becoming increasingly disturbed, but every time he sent him a questioning look, Dwalin just shook his head.

Finally he stopped. “What? What is it? What do you see?”

“We’re being followed,” Dwalin said eyes scanning over the crowd. Bilbo turned to look and sure enough, there were several dwarves milling about near them and several more just standing, openly watching their group.

“Is there danger?” he asked concerned.

Dwalin shook his head. “Nothin’ yet. I don’t think they mean any harm.”

Bilbo made it through two more stalls when he realized he was hearing a steady hum. It was the chattering of a growing number of dwarves. He turned and realized the few who had been following them had turned into a fair sized crowd.

“This is could get out of hand fast,” said Dwalin, pulling out one of his hammers. “We should leave now.”

Bilbo nodded beginning to feel nervous and moved to follow Dwalin when a young dam stepped out from the others towards them. “Excuse me. Are you… aren’t you Amad Mimur?” she asked tentatively.

Bilbo was surprised to hear the nickname. It took him a moment to respond. “Yes, I’m Bilbo Baggins.” Dwalin had reached to take his arm and when he turned to follow, she cried out.

“Wait! I mean… please…  we just want to know…” She motioned back toward the crowd. Bilbo pause, listening. “We heard rumors that you were taken and beaten. Are you… are you well?” she asked shyly.

Bilbo was even more surprised at her inquiry. He looked up at the faces in the crowd. They’d gotten closer and appeared to be waiting eagerly for Bilbo’s reply. He didn’t know why he thought it surprising. Gossip traveled lightening fast in the Shire. He supposed it wasn’t any different here, except that he wasn’t expecting the concern he could see in those faces.

“Yes, I’m well. It was just minor injuries, but I’m better now. Oin, the healer, he’s very skilled.”

“And the babe? The babe is well?” a deep, gruff voice called from the crowd. Bilbo couldn’t pinpoint who had asked but he nodded.

“Yes, he’s doing fine.” There was a shuffling in the crowd as dwarves tried to get a better look at him. The shifting prompted Dwalin to step in front of Bilbo and begin pushing him back a step. The other guards stepped in front also to form a barrier between him and the crowd.

Bilbo looked around and saw they were but a few steps from a dry fountain in the center of the courtyard they were in. “Here,” he said stepping towards it. “Help me up.” The wide, flat rim circling the fountain’s basin was at a height meant to be used for seating but it was too high for Bilbo to step up onto in his present condition.

“I don’t like this,” Dwalin growled. “Crowds can get out of control fast. We should leave.”

“In just a moment. They’re just curious and want to see. Help me get higher.”

Dwalin shook his head, looking down at Bilbo. “No, you’re too exposed like that.”

“But isn’t that part of why we came? So they could see me?” Bilbo reasoned. He could tell Dwalin was conflicted for his safety. He waved Kili over. “It’ll be alright. Like you said, they don’t mean any harm… let’s hope.”

Dwalin and Kili each grabbed an arm and lifted Bilbo up. Dwalin stood in front of him. “Fair warning: if this gets hairy, I’ll grab you and run.”

“And I’ll let you,” said Bilbo, patting his shoulder as he straightened up. He was pretty sure no one meant any harm, but you never could tell what might happen. Once he stood up on the platform, he could hear the murmuring ripple through the crowd.

“Are you sure the babe is well?” someone shouted.

“Yes. Yes, the healer says he didn’t suffer any harm.”

“When will he be born?”

Bilbo didn’t see any harm in answering the question. “Soon. We don’t know for certain but I’m sure it won’t be long now.”

“Will you announce the birth so we’ll know?”

“Umm.. I’ll mention it to Thor… to the King.” More questions were shouted up to him from the crowd. Was he eating well? Was he comfortable under the mountain as a hobbit? Was he going to return to his people? Would the child be hobbit or dwarf? Did he want a boy or a girl? Did the king want a boy or a girl? Was it safe for him to be out and about at this stage of his pregnancy? Bilbo did his best to answer the questions while preserving what privacy he could but Thorin’s subjects were curious and very outspoken.

After a few minutes, Dwalin insisted they leave. Bilbo awkwardly thanked the crowd for their concern and let Dwalin lift him down. He was quickly bundled into his sedan which had been brought over and rolled away. It had proved to be an odd morning and he was glad when Thorin and all joined him for lunch.

“We heard you started a riot in the marketplace,” Dis commented smugly making Bilbo choke on his sip of tea.

“It was not a riot,” he protested. “Although, I do think it served your purpose rather neatly.” Thorin, he could tell, was not happy about whatever he’d heard about the incident. “However, it is the last foray I will make into the market for some time.” Thorin gave a satisfied nod. “It was a little much what with,” his hand fluttered to indicate all that has happened. “I got what I need. I’m as ready as I know how to be,” he sighed.

“It won’t be long now,” Thorin assured him, stroking his hand.

“No need to worry. Oin will allow your Brundi to return to work in a day or two and he and I will be here to attend you for the birth…” Dis began.

Bilbo spluttered at the idea of Dis attending him while in the throes of labor. “No need for that look,” she said smoothly. “I am one of the best midwives amongst those here in Erebor. Who else would attend a member of the royal family?”

“Dis has attended to most of the births since we fled the mountain. You will be in good hands,” Thorin assured him.

“I don't doubt your ability,” Bilbo said to Dis. “It's just… how will I ever look you in the eye again after you've seen…” He tilted his head to indicate all things below that he couldn't mention in polite company.

“I've already spoken with Oin and he's assured me that you're not that different.”

“Not that different?” Bilbo exclaimed indignantly.

“Um,” said Kili holding his fork still. “I think you've forgotten we're at the table and we don't want to be scarred for life.”

“But don't you want to witnesses the miracle of life?” Dis implored her sons with feeling.

Bilbo didn't know if she was joking or not. “No. No, definitely not. The only witnessing will be Thorin and Oin.”

“And myself,” Dis added.

Bilbo neither confirmed nor denied that. “The boys can stand guard on the other side of the door with Dwalin and Bofur.”

“They can wait elsewhere so they won't get underfoot,” said Dis.

“No, they have to be here. The family stands guard,” Bilbo said firmly.

“What does that mean?” asked Dis. “And why Dwalin and Bofur?”

All eyes turned to Bilbo for an explanation. His cheeks blushed pink under the scrutiny. “It's tradition, you see, from the old days, back when we wandered, when we weren't accepted,” he said softly. “The family stood guard in case anything happened, to protect the bearer and the child.”

Thorin and Dis knew all too well the pain of wandering and not being accepted anywhere. Thorin took Bilbo’s hand, squeezing it gently in a show of support.

“It's different nowadays. There's no danger in the Shire, but the family still gathers. It’s usually a merry time to celebrate unless something goes wrong and then they're on hand to help. I think, in light of recent events, I'd like to have the assurance of my family standing guard… the old fashioned way,” he finished, his eyes lowered. He was a little concerned that they would tell him he was being paranoid and it was unnecessary.

“Then that is what you shall have,” declared Thorin.

After a few moments, Dis asked, “and Dwalin and Bofur as well?”

“They promised.”

“You'll have all of us, Bilbo,” said Fili.

“All of us,” Kili echoed, nodding fervently.

Later that night, when Thorin joined Bilbo in bed, Bilbo turned to him. “Are your subjects really so concerned for me?”

Thorin’s gaze softened. “Dwarves were made with a passion for creating and this,” he said, gently smoothing his hand over Bilbo’s stomach, “is the ultimate act of creation that we can achieve in this life. They are genuinely concerned for you and for the babe.”

“They asked if they would know when he is born.”

“Yes, it's customary to announce the birth of a royal family member. It is usually pronounced a holiday. The children are released from school and the mines and the guilds close for the day.”

Bilbo hummed in mild interest, still thinking about what had happened. “They called me Amad Mimur.”

“There were many guards and miners who helped in the search for you. I’m sure they have spread the tale all over the mountain.”

“I don’t know how I feel about that. It seems I’m destined to always be the subject of gossip.”

“It will only make them want to protect you more,” Thorin said pulling Bilbo close. “You have to understand… we lost so many, not just to Smaug but on the journey, and not just adults. We’re a hardy race but children are always more vulnerable. The lack of food and shelter, the rigors of travel, we were weakened. We lost many to illness. None of us want to hear of another child's life lost when we can prevent it, not when we have adequate resources again.”

Bilbo didn’t know what to say to comfort Thorin. He knew it troubled him on many levels, more than just the attack on his person and the possible harm to their child. Here was a terrible crime that had been committed so early in Erebor’s new era. So instead of saying anything, he held onto the arm Thorin had around him until he fell asleep.

~~~~~

When Thorin reached his official chambers the next morning, Nori was waiting for him.  “Dis’ little idea paid off.”

“What have you heard?” he asked, setting his day’s work on his desk.

“Only that everyone is up at arms about your little Amad Mirmur being attacked in the mountain. He’s never going to be able to live that name down.”

“I’m saddened that it happened here in our very home,” Thorin said heavily.

“None of those dwarves were from or descended from Erebor. It will actually increase the people's feeling of solidarity, that they were from outside Erebor. In the end, it will only serve to make him more safe in these walls.”

Thorin grunted. “I think so too.”

“You should move the judgement up, take advantage of the swell of support after yesterday’s little show and tell. Besides, you’ll not want to leave his side after the birth to sully your hands with this.”

Once Nori had left, Thorin proceeded to do just that. He was ready to be done with it. He was more worried about telling Bilbo but he shouldn’t have been. His hobbit was not, as he said, a wilting flower.

“So who will carry out the sentence?” Bilbo asked curiously.

“Traditionally, it can be several people: the captain of the guard, the king himself or even the accuser if honor demands it.”

“And in our case?”

“Of the three to receive death sentences, Dwalin, Nori and I will each carry out a sentence. Dwalin and Nori because their honor demands it as they were sworn to protect you. I claim vengeance because you are my One carrying my child but I also claim vengeance as king. They have dishonored my kingdom with their crimes."

“I’m just glad I don’t have to do it or even be there,” Bilbo grimaced.

“In the eyes of dwarrows, you’ve already carried out your fair portion of the sentence by killing two of them. No one will question your absence. Your honor has already been upheld.”

Bilbo shook his head. He would never understand dwarves.

~~~~~

The day of the judgement, Bilbo was left in his rooms. Brundi had finally been allowed to return to work and she cheerfully kept him company that morning as he soaked up the sun’s rays outside.

Everyone else in the mountain, it seemed, was packed into the audience chamber, its doors overflowing. No formal announcement had been made but neither had it been hidden. Thorin gazed out among the crowd and wondered if Nori had been at work or if this was simply the outpouring of support for Bilbo.

He sat with grim determination, Dis and his Company arrayed behind him as the accused were brought in and the charges read. Knute and several guards testified to the attack and kidnapping. Oin testified on Brundi’s behalf in regards to the plot and Bilbo’s physical state when he was rescued. Nori had uncovered other witnesses and evidence that was brought forward. It was all damning and no one would speak on behalf of the accused.

When the time for judgement came, he felt justified in sentencing the three older dwarves to death. Their beards and heads would be shaven before they were beheaded and buried out on the plain, outside the succor of the mountain. As they were led away, he turned to Nufi who looked haggard and pale from the gravity of her situation.

“For your crimes, you also deserve a punishment as harsh as your co-conspirators. Your actions would have lead to his death but still Lord Baggins has asked for clemency on your behalf, as one life-giver for another. Because of this, I will grant you a reprieve from death but not from punishment. You are hereby banished from Erebor for fifty years. You cannot step inside her gates on pain of death. You will immediately be transported to Dale where a place has been obtained for you. You may choose to leave it at any time but you cannot return here. In fifty years, we will review your case to judge if you are fit to be a citizen of Erebor. Use your years away wisely if you wish to return.”

It was late afternoon when he was able to return to Bilbo, who was napping on a sofa when he entered their suite. He stood, watching him breathe for some minutes. The weight of his stare must have been heavy because Bilbo stirred and looked up at him. Whatever Bilbo saw in his eyes, he didn’t say. He only took Thorin by the hand and led him back to their bed. Bilbo quickly fell back into napping but Thorin lay running his hand through Bilbo’s hair, lost in thought. Erebor couldn’t be the utopia he had dreamed of because none of them were perfect but here, at least, he could find peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the idea for Bilbo's sedan (except in my mind the side windows were larger and it was way more blinged out). 
> 
>  
> 
> More like this... on wheels...  
> 


	33. What we've all been waiting for

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally...

Bilbo heaved a long suffering sigh, rocking his body to get enough momentum to reposition himself. This latest stage of his pregnancy was going to make him finally lose it. He could feel Thorin’s arm loosen to give him the leeway to move as he wanted. He finally settled for turning until he was facing Thorin who was gazing at him sleepily.

“Alright?”

“Nothing’s comfortable anymore,” Bilbo mumbled as Thorin began smoothing his hair back from his face.

“Won’t be much longer now.”

Bilbo huffed at Thorin in response. Everybody kept saying that and frankly it was starting to grate on his nerves. He was about to work himself up into a fit but then Thorin started humming. His frustration quickly deflated as he inched closer to Thorin, whose deep rumbling was something to feel, not just to hear. It wasn’t long before he relaxed enough into sleep again.

Over lunch, Thorin noted that Bilbo ate very little. “Are you feeling well?” he asked.

“I’m just not very hungry right now,” Bilbo said listlessly, giving him a small smile. It took a few minutes for Bilbo to convince Thorin that he was fine. He had to practically push him out the door as Thorin was not completely convinced.

When Thorin returned in the evening, just before dinner, he found Bilbo kneeling on the floor, surrounded by a sea of cushions. He watched as Kili entered with an armful more.

“These are all I could find,” he said, dumping them on the floor. “That’s everything from our suites.”

He watched as Bilbo piled them in different combinations, leaning onto them for a moment before switching around his pile.

“No, no. None of these will work,” Bilbo said frustrated, toppling the pile. He struggled for a moment to rise before Thorin’s hands were helping him up.

“What are you doing?” he asked baffled by what Bilbo could possibly be doing with what looked like every pillow and cushion from their hall. Bilbo looked up at him. He was wide-eyed and his hair was already all mussed which told Thorin Bilbo had been running his hands through it in frustration. Something was definitely wrong. “What is it?”

“The birthing cushion... I completely forgot about it and now it’s too late! I can’t send for one and there’s not enough time to make one. What am I going to do?” Bilbo said in a manic rush.

“I'm sure we can have something made quickly. What is a birthing cushion?”

“It's a large cushion so I can lean against it for support when kneeling. It helps with the birthing to be upright. But I forgot and now it's too late!”

“I'm sure it can be done…”

“No! It's too late,” Bilbo bit out as his eyes squeezed shut, grasping the sleeves of Thorin’s tunic. Thorin watched as Bilbo curled in on himself. When he realized that Bilbo was not breathing and his entire body had tensed, he sank to his knees in front of him.

“Bilbo, look at me. Look at me, Bilbo,” he said worriedly, his hand on Bilbo’s cheek. It was several long moments before Bilbo released the breath he'd been holding. Thorin felt his fingers relax only for them to dig into his arms a moment later. Bilbo made a surprised whine and looked down at his feet. Thorin looked down to see what had startled him and saw a trickle of liquid pooling at his feet. He looked back up at Bilbo’s face. It took only a second of looking at the panic in Bilbo’s eyes for him to realize what was happening.

“Kili, send Knute for Oin then go find your mother,” he said firmly before bellowing “Brundi!” When she emerged from the kitchen, he sent her to find Dori. “Take a deep breath for me, Bilbo. Good, now another one,” he instructed. When Bilbo appeared calmer he asked, “how long?”

“Since sometime early this morning.”

Thorin sucked in a deep breath, his eyes wide, unable to look away from Bilbo. “Alright… alright. Oin is on his way. Everything is going to be alright.”

Bilbo knew Thorin was just as shaken as he was if he was repeating himself. He threw his arms around Thorin’s neck, leaning into him, trembling. “I'm… I'm not ready. I wasn't made for this. Anything can go wrong. What if something goes wrong?”

Thorin gathered Bilbo against his chest, rubbing his back. “Nothing will go wrong. You’ll see.” Bilbo was content to stay in Thorin’s arms until people started rushing in. Then something happened that Bilbo was completely unprepared for. As Oin pushed him gently toward the bedroom, Dis herded Thorin toward the front door.

“Wait…” Bilbo said, not understanding why they were being separated. He could hear Dis’ voice, “wait out here and we’ll let you know…” Oin’s hand was gentle but insistent on his back, guiding Bilbo away. “Get a look at where you’re at…”

“Where is he going?” Bilbo kept turning to see Thorin moving away from him and Oin kept turning him back around.

“... and then we’ll know about how much longer…”

He thought he’d made himself understood, so he was confused as to what was happening. He couldn’t skip down underneath Oin’s arm like he might have before and he couldn’t seem to escape Oin’s guidance. They were in the hallway leading to the bedroom and then he couldn’t see Thorin anymore so he did the only thing he could think of. He started yelling and struggling.

“Thorin! Thorin! Wait! Thorin!”

“Careful now, lad. You’re going to hurt yourself,” Oin chided trying to hold Bilbo still. It only took a moment for Thorin to appear around the corner, Dis on his heels. The look on Bilbo's face had him pushing away Dis’ hands as she tried to pull him back.

“Bilbo,” Dis cajoled, “it really is best if Thorin waits out there. Male dwarrow get so excitable when they see their loved ones in pain. They worry themselves sick and get in the way. You’ll both be much better off if he waits with the others.”

“No. No, I need him. He has to help me. You don't understand… I need him.” He jerked out of Oin’s grasp and moved to stand between Thorin and Dis. He pushed Thorin behind him, keeping a grasp on his tunic while he faced Dis.

“I thought we had already discussed this. He has to stay with me. The mate stays with the bearer. That’s how it’s done,” he said a determinedly.

“Be reasonable, Bilbo,” said Dis. “Dwarrow aren’t hobbits. They’re much more possessive and aggressive, which can make them totally unsuitable for attending the birthing. Everything will go so much smoother if we don’t have to be fighting a worried husband over everything we do.”

“Surely you’re exaggerating. It won’t be like that.”

Dis raised an eyebrow. “This is Thorin Oakenshield we’re talking about. He will probably be the worst of all the fathers I have ever attended. I don’t think you realize how much he worries for you since you are such a small and delicate being.”

When he made to protest, she held up her hand. “No, Bilbo, it’s time you faced facts. There are reasons why we keep the men out of the birthing room.”

“But he wouldn’t do that.” Bilbo turned around to look up at Thorin. “You won’t do that, will you? You said you wouldn't leave me. I can't do this without you,” he said, his voice pleading. “You have to stay with me.”

Thorin felt like all the air had been punched out of his lungs. He pulled Bilbo into his arms. “I won't leave you, not now, not ever. I swear it,” Thorin said, rubbing his back soothingly.

Did rolled her eyes. She had always felt Thorin to be the more romantic sibling. She actually thought he was foolishly, excessively romantic and here was incontrovertible proof. It was also highly impractical at the moment.

Oin didn't suppress his, “oh, brother.” After a couple of moments of Thorin’s heavy glare, he relented. “You can stay but you have to keep it together and the both of you keep calm. Understood?” Thorin nodded gravely.  “Fine then,” Oin said turning to stomp down the hall.

Once in the bedroom, Bilbo sat on the bed leaning into Thorin, holding his hand as Dis pulled a large, white garment from his wardrobe. “Why is there a dress in my things?” he asked. He was suspicious after having been almost separated and wasn’t willing to be blindly trustful at the moment.

“It's not a dress. It's a birthing gown,” Dis countered as she laid it out on the bed beside him.

Bilbo looked at it with distaste. “It's a dress.”

“It's a birthing gown. It's loose and easy to raise so the healer can have access and easy to pull back down for modesty,” she explained as she cleared everything off of the bedside tables. “What do hobbits use?”

“Most wear their regular clothes since many are still active until the final stages of labor and then it’s customary to be… natural… or so I’ve been told. I’ve never actually witnessed a birth.”

“Natural? Do you mean hobbits give birth in the buff?” Oin barked in surprise.

“They’re covered by the bed linens, of course!” Bilbo said, his cheeks pinking.

“Well, if you’d like, we can follow your hobbit customs,” Dis challenged.

“I’ll wear the gown but later, not yet,” Bilbo conceded grumpily. He was still nervous but allowed Oin to examine him. Dis, he noticed, worked in the background clearing off the dresser for a workspace, her back turned. It was just as well, he thought. He needed a little time to get used to her presence in this situation. Also, he hadn’t quite forgiven her for trying to take Thorin away.

“Still have a ways to go. Do what you need to to stay comfortable, rest if you can. Let us know if you need anything. Do you want us to send for your human healer?”

Bilbo looked down, his face scrunched as he considered the question. “I don’t know if having him here would be any real help. Besides, he’s just so… big.”

“What does his size have to do with anything?” Thorin asked from where he stood at the bedside.

“I’m small compared to him. Can you imagine how tiny our baby will be in comparison? His fingers will be too big to clear the baby’s mouth or help with anything like that. I don’t know what he could do that Oin can’t himself.”

At that, Thorin couldn’t stop thinking of giant hands inadvertently harming their infant who was sure to be so very tiny given Bilbo's smaller stature. He knew the human healer would never do that but still he couldn’t shake the thought. “Perhaps that is best,” he said. He trusted Oin and his sister above all others anyway.

Bilbo, after dressing in fresh clothing, refused to stay in bed. He quite adamantly insisted they not hover or keep checking on him as the birth would still take some time and would happen regardless if they were nearby, except for Thorin whom he kept close. He insisted on sitting through dinner but Dis would only allow that to be with the immediate family in suite. He picked at his food more than he ate and had to grip the table twice but he would not be convinced to leave it.

Dis was the only one who ate or acted normally. Thorin, Fili and Kili were subdued and kept their eyes nervously on Bilbo as if he were going to explode at any second. Bilbo pat Thorin’s hand to reassure him but ignored it otherwise.

After dinner, he fussed until Thorin allowed him to go outside. It was probably the last sun he would get for several days, he argued, even if the light was starting to fade. They ambled about, Thorin supporting Bilbo when he stopped. When it became painfully obvious that the interval between contractions was shortening, Bilbo allowed Thorin to lead him back inside.

He grabbed the arm of the dwarf closest to him. “Fili, you’ve got to get them and tell them… tell them it’s started,” he said biting his lip at the pain. Fili nodded and rushed to the door.

Dori, who had earlier come to clean the mess left by Bilbo’s water breaking, had gotten a description of the mysterious birthing cushion. As Bilbo turned towards the bedroom, Dori entered the suite carrying a large round cushion in red velvet. It was almost the size of Bilbo himself.

“You found one!” Bilbo cried.

“Or the closest we could come to it. Best not to ask me where we found it,” Dori said. “Although it is clean. I made sure of that.”

In the bedroom, Thorin watched as Bilbo positioned it in the center of the bed and while on his knees, leaned over it, hugging it. He sighed as he rocked, working until he found a comfortable position.

“Does that help?” he asked skeptically.

“Oh my yes,” Bilbo drawled out. He looked back over his shoulder. “Come up here.” When Thorin was positioned behind him, Bilbo grabbed Thorin’s hands and positioned them low on his hips. “Now massage that for me.” He moaned as Thorin applied pressure, leaning forward to rest his cheek against the cushion. “Harder… yes… perfect…”

Thorin leaned forward to nose along Bilbo’s ear. “You know what this reminds me of?”

Bilbo reached back to slap Thorin’s thigh. “You hush! That is how we got into this predicament in the first place!”

“This isn’t a predicament,” Thorin said placing small kisses along the back of Bilbo’s neck. “This is beautiful. You’re beautiful.”

Over the next few hours, Bilbo moved, pushed, pulled, positioned and directed a compliant Thorin. And while he was compliant, he was not silent. Thorin kept up a steady stream of quiet, rumbling encouragements and endearments and Bilbo, when he was not preoccupied with the pain, reveled in it.

Unbeknownst to him while he enjoyed Thorin’s attentions, his outer room was a hive of activity. There was some argument between Dis and her sons where she argued that a cleared, quiet room would be better and as she was a woman who had given birth, she was right. The boys argued for Bilbo’s previously stated wishes of a gathering of his chosen family since he was a hobbit and they knew their hobbit better. As they had the backing of the entire company, they won out.

Dori and Bombur had done their best to provide a buffet for the wait to at least give themselves something to do. Slowly, as they were able to put finish or push aside their tasks, the company collected in Bilbo’s suite. If at some point they individually tried to inconspicuously sneak out into the garden with a handful of nuts or tidbits, no one mentioned it aloud.

Dis had been using the excuse of laying out supplies in the likes of towels and ewers to keep an eye on Bilbo’s progress. She could see he was doing well enough with just Thorin to ease his mind and body but when she noticed that he was nearing the final stages, she put her foot down and called for Oin.

“Wait,” Bilbo called as Oin made to shut the door. “I want to see,” he panted. He was sitting up on the bed between Thorin’s legs, leaning back against his chest, Thorin’s legs out stretched and bracketing his own.

“See what?” Dis asked.

“Where are Fili and Kili?”

“Out with the company. Isn’t that as you wanted?” she asked.

“Yes, but I need to see. Get them for me.”  Dis opened the door and called for her sons. When Fili stood in the doorway, Bilbo asked “do you have both of them?” just as Dis noticed his weapons strapped to his back and said “why are you wearing those now?”

Fili nodded but Bilbo wanted more. “Show me,” he commanded.

As Fili drew his weapons, Dis let out an exasperated growl and pushed down his hands to lower his swords. “What are you doing? This is a birthing room! Don’t draw your weapons here!”

Fili looked from Bilbo to Dis but when his eyes shifted back, Bilbo asked, “and the knives?” Fili sheathed his swords and opened both sides of his coat so Bilbo could see two of his stashed knives. “Now Kili,” he prompted. Fili moved back to let his brother by.

“It’s too small a space for my bow, but I brought my sword and a few small daggers,” Kili said turning his sword to catch the light.

Bilbo nodded in approval. “What about Bofur?”

“Bofur was in one of the deep mines. We’ve sent for him but he hasn’t arrived yet. But everyone else is here and armed, just like you wanted,” Kili reported with enthusiasm.

“And Dwalin?” Bilbo gasped, twisting his body as the contractions pulled on his muscles.

“We’ll get him,” Kili said retreating. Dis stood at the door, holding it as if to slam it closed at any moment. She tsked when Dwalin strode into the room holding his war hammer.

“And the axes?” Bilbo inquired.

“Waiting for me at the end of the hall, where I’ll stand guard. I’ve been sharpening them special for this day.”

Bilbo visibly relaxed back against Thorin. “Thank you,” he breathed.

“At yer service,” Dwalin said bowing. As he turned to leave, there was a ruckus in the hall that had him raising his hammer.

“Wait! Wait! I’m here!” Bofur called as he burst into the room. Dwalin shook his head as he ducked out mumbling, “always a day late and a few coins short.”

“Did you bring it?” Bilbo asked as Bofur swung his mattock from his back in a smooth motion.

“It’s got a little mine soot on it, but it’ll work just fine!” he said giving Bilbo a wide smile.

“Oh, that’s it!” Dis exclaimed, pushing Bofur back out.

“I’ll just be out here listening for the squall of the little one!” Bofur shouted as he was pushed out.

“This is ridiculous,” Dis groused as she slammed the door so she didn’t hear Bilbo’s soft words to Thorin asking, “and you, my love?” When she turned back, Bilbo was holding Orcrist unsheathed, Thorin having laid it in his open hands. Bilbo smiled softly as Thorin, leaning forward against Bilbo’s back, his chin resting on Bilbo’s shoulder, gently took the sword from Bilbo’s hands and laid it on the side table within easy reach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry... sorry.. I know, bad place to cut off but I'm working on it!


	34. Expect the unexpected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The long awaited event...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHA! I am not dead! I had only been abandoned by the muse, but she socked me in the face tonight!
> 
> Special thanks to Lyamainu (your comment on the male mammary, it was very interesting) and Alisha (who really wanted something to happen) and every one of who who hit the kudos button and/or left a comment. I still can't believe it when they keep rolling in. But y'all are the reason I keep sharing all of this. 
> 
> Also try not to be disappointed if I'm too descriptive/not descriptive enough/highly inaccurate. I just had to pound this out.
> 
> Still not beta-d and now I'm typing with long nails which is interesting. I'll probably be fixing errors over the next few days. Also it's 2am so this is probably rife with errors, which are all mine.

Dwarrowdams, Thorin had been told, usually got very angry during childbirth. They would throw things and rail at you, blame you for what was happening, describe to you in excruciating detail what they would do to you if this ever happened again. Thorin had heard it all from Dis’ midwifing tales. What he did not expect was to be holding a Bilbo who was near to tears convinced that he was going to die and the child with him. 

By the twentieth time that Bilbo said “this is taking too long", Thorin could hear the despair creeping into his voice. Both Oin and Dis had assured him multiple times that childbirth was a long, laborious process, but Bilbo wouldn’t hear it.

He looked back at Thorin who was seated behind him. “It shouldn’t take this long. Hobbits don’t take this long unless something is wrong.” He paused between contractions and then continued breathlessly, “something is wrong. I know it.”

Thorin wiped the sweat off of Bilbo’s face with a cool rag. “There’s nothing wrong, ghivashel,” he soothed. 

“There is. There has to be. Promise me… Promise me you’ll save him, even if you have to cut him out of me, you save him first.”

“It won’t be necessary. You’ll see.”

“Keep him safe when I’m gone. And when he’s older, take him to the Shire so he can know my people too.”

Bilbo talking about being gone, about dying was beginning to distress Thorin. 

“Write to my family. They’ll send you everything you need to teach him.”

“Bilbo, you’re fine. You’re doing wonderful and there is nothing wrong with the baby,” Dis tried to explain calmly.

Bilbo ignored her, patting the arm Thorin had around him to get his attention. “Promise me.”

“I promise, but there will be no need.”

Bilbo twisted, caught in a particularly painful contraction. “It hurts, it hurts,” he whimpered. 

The sound of it was crushing to Thorin. “Is there nothing you can give him?” 

Dis shook her head. “He is close. It would be better for them both if he can do it without anything for the pain. Later, after the birth, if he still hurts, we can give him something then.”

“How much longer?” Thorin asked.

Oin leaned in to check. Bilbo was far beyond caring about propriety. He was exhausted and worried. 

“He’s crowning. I can just see the top of his little head. Just a few more pushes and you’ll have ‘im.”

“Help me up,” Bilbo panted, struggling to rise. Thorin rose up to his knees behind him, pulling Bilbo up, holding him against his chest.

“Push with all ya got when you feel ready,” Oin urged. 

Bilbo took a deep breath and pushed. He could feel his muscles straining and the babe moving but the worst was when he felt like he was being torn in two. He didn’t remember much of what happened then, only that it felt like he was passing a boulder and wasn’t that just apropos? Oin kept telling him to push and Thorin was talking in his ear, telling him he could do this. It felt like an eternity before he felt a release and heard Oin saying “I’ve got ‘im!”

He sagged back onto Thorin, who caught him and gently lowered them both back onto the bed. From his position leaning back against Thorin’s chest, he watched blearily as Oin turned to Dis who had a blanket ready to receive their baby. 

“It  _ is _ a boy!” Dis laughed. “Hello you,” she cooed.

Bilbo’s view was blocked but before he could muster the energy to say anything, he heard the baby begin to cry. The sound did something to him he couldn’t describe. His heart felt full of joy fit to burst but his son was crying and it made his heart ache in another way. His body was exhausted but he tried to stir anyway, his arms raising to reach for his babe. 

Oin saw him moving and held his legs to still him. “Lie back. I’m not done with you yet.”

Bilbo turned his face to look up at Thorin contemplating if he could demand that Thorin get his baby for him immediately. Thorin stroked his face gently. “It is alright, ghivashel. Just wait a moment.”

They watched as Oin tied and cut the umbilical cord. Dis turned to the dresser, making soft shushing sounds at the babe. She set him down on thick pad of towels and began wiping him clean. Bilbo couldn’t see anything but her back. He could see she was being gentle, but hearing his son wail was making him anxious.

“Is he… is he alright?” Bilbo stammered worriedly.

“He’s alright. You’ll have him in your arms in a moment,” Thorin said into his ear.

“Aye, he’s fine. It’s you we need to check on,” Oin said. 

When Dis turned back and begin walking towards him, Bilbo’s perception changed. It seemed like time had slowed. It seemed to muffle sound itself. He didn’t hear what anyone was saying only that the baby stopped crying when he was laid in his arms. 

He could only see his baby and it was the only thing that mattered. Later, he wouldn’t even remember passing the afterbirth as he traced every curve and bend of the pink skin under his fingertips. “Perfect,” he murmured. “He’s absolutely perfect.” He felt arms circle around his own and sound rushed back in as he heard Thorin say, “he’s beautiful.”

When the baby began to move his head back and forth, Dis advised him to hold the baby to his breast. Bilbo coughed from embarrassment, amazed he could still feel so after what he had just been through, and said that he wouldn’t be able to breastfeed.

“How do you know?” Dis asked.

“What do you mean?” Bilbo asked confused. 

“I mean how do you know you can’t breastfeed?”

“Because I wasn’t born a bearer,” he explained.

“But you said there hasn’t been a bearer like you in generations. So how would you know?”

“I didn’t develop mammaries,” he said matter-of-factly.

“What was the need to develop them? You already had nipples. Do not hobbit men have nipples?”

“Well, yes, but… that’s different.”

“Hmmm… I don’t think your maker would change you and stop there. If she changed your body to be able to carry, wouldn’t she also change your body to nourish the child?”

“Well… I…”

“And if you haven’t tried, how would you know?” she continued. “You should at least give it a try. Many dwarrowdams are flat chested but breastfeed just fine.”

Bilbo couldn’t think of anything to refute Dis, so he let the babe nuzzle him. He felt awkward but it only took a few moments for the babe to latch on. It was startling and felt odd. Thorin, sitting behind him was silent but intent, fascinated by what was happening.

After a couple of minutes, he asked how he would know if it was working. After following Dis’ instructions, he found that yes, the baby was managing to suck a clear, viscous fluid from him. It was equally unnerving and yet gave him a sense of rightness.

Bilbo didn’t see Dis leave but he heard the hurrahs when she came back carrying a tray of simple foods. Bilbo wouldn’t eat while the baby fed. Not because he thought he couldn’t, he was simply too engrossed with watching his newborn son. 

~~~~~

The company had been toasting Bilbo, waiting to be called back for their chance to view the new babe when there was a knock on the door. Fili as the eldest family member present answered it. He looked at the guard and the dwarf standing behind him with curiosity but mostly confusion. 

“I'm sorry to disturb you Your Highness, but the councillor would not wait.”

The councillor who was pushing his way past the guard and into the suite, was one of the dwarrows that Fili liked least in all of Erebor and he was sure Thorin agreed with him. He was a boorish squat dwarf, shorter and most definitely rounder than Fili himself. He had beady eyes and a bushy beard that he controlled by over-oiling it, which seemed to match his greasy personality. His appearance did not make him seem trustworthy and indeed, he was one of the old nobles who argued for a return to the traditional societal echelons. He had in fact argued against the posts awarded to almost every member of the company including Gloin and Oin who were actually royal cousins. 

“Councillor Dorff, what are you doing here?” Fili asked.

“Ah, young Fili! I come bearing gifts and for that, I really must speak to His Majesty.” Fili eyed Dorff in suspicion. Never mind that the dwarf did not respect him and hardly ever used his title as he should, his very presence was unusual. Births were a very private, familial affair and for someone outside of the immediate family to intrude was just not done.

“I'm afraid he's rather preoccupied at the moment, birth of his son and all,” Fili replied coming to stand in front of Dorff so he would not move further into the suite. As it was, he had already barged his way into the sitting area. Fili could tell from the corner of his eye that the intrusion was making everyone uneasy.

“Yes, yes! I know. That is why I'm here. If you'll just get your uncle for me.” 

“I'm sorry, but this is an inopportune time. I'm sure His Majesty will meet with you at his first opportunity…” 

As Balin was moving forward to back Fili, Thorin came around the corner. Whatever he was about to say died on his lips as he as saw Dorff. There was no reason for the councillor to be in Bilbo’s private chambers especially at such a sensitive time. It put him on edge. As Fili had not yet seen Thorin, Dorff leaned around him to speak directly to the king.

“Your Majesty. I bring you felicitations.”

Thorin didn’t even attempt to temper his response. Dorff’s presence was inappropriate at best. “What are you doing here?” he asked, his voice laced with suspicion. 

“As I was telling young Fili, I come bearing a gift...” He rummaged in the pocket of his coat, pulling out a small velvet pouch. “...oil to anoint the child for its First Prayer.”

“His,” Thorin said flatly.

“I’m sorry?” the councillor said still holding out the velvet pouch.

“His. Bilbo bore a son.” Thorin watched Dorff carefully, unsure of his intentions.

“Of course, of course. Congratulations. A first born son, what a gift.”

Thorin wasn’t sure he had ever seen anything as false as the smile the councillor put on. It made him realize that he had left Orcrist at Bilbo’s bedside. He shifted his eyes to the side and could see Dwalin had moved up behind him.

Dorff noticed Dwalin shifting but continued on. “I have brought oil from Mahal’s temple in the Iron Hills. I can anoint the child myself.”

The very idea had Thorin bristling and drawing up to his full height in anger. “That is presumptuous of you, councillor. The First Prayer is the duty and privilege of the father. It is my privilege,” he growled possessively.

“Yes, yes, of course. I was not sure if you knew the ritual. You were quite young when you fled the mountain and it seems many of our people’s traditions,” he said casting a glance around the company, “have been lost while you were in exile.”

There was no mistaking the implied insult nor the metallic hiss of several weapons being drawn.

“I assure you the dwarrow of Erebor have not forgotten the rituals of our fathers,” Thorin spit out.

“Good. I’m glad to hear it. Please, I insist you take the oil,” he said waving the pouch at Thorin. “It is made with a fine aromatic blend from the temple in the Iron Hills. I insist. It will be a fine oil for it… the child… his First Prayer.”

Thorin’s knuckles cracked as he closed his fists in anger. He was beginning to question why Dorff was being so insistent. Something about the situation did not feel right to him. Something about this dwarf always felt wrong to him. He just hadn't been able to pinpoint any actual wrongdoing yet.

He flicked his eyes to Gloin and Dori who were behind Dorff. Before he could suspect, they had grabbed him by the arms. Nori swiped the pouch.

“Let’s take the measure of such a fine gift, shall we?” he said, taking a small vial out of the pouch. He uncorked it and passed it under his nose several times. “Dori,” he said warningly before passing the vial to his brother. Dori took one whiff and wrinkled his nose.

“Get Oin,” he said handing the vial back.

“Bifur, you and Ori go stand watch at Bilbo’s door, quietly mind you, and send Oin.”

Dorff tried to free his arms but between Gloin and Dori, he was held fast. “See here,” he blustered. “What kind of thanks is this? I’ve brought a stately gift! Why, do you know what amount that small vial alone would fetch?” 

“What is going on out here?” Oin demanded as he emerged. “I have a patient I am meant to be caring for. Why have you dragged me out here?” 

“Have a sniff of this,” said Nori, proffering the vial. 

“What’s this?” Oin said, taking a long sniff then wiping his nose. “Where’d you get this, Nori?” he asked taking another, smaller sniff. “Did you finally find the apothecary? Can’t this wait until tomorrow? I’m rather busy now.”

“What apothecary?” demanded Thorin sharply.

“Bilbo’s kidnappers could not tell us who the apothecary was that provided the poison used on Brundi. The only one who knew apparently was Marus and since he died in the rock slide, we never found out. This,” he said waving the little vial, “smells just like the poison used on her cakes, sweet and distinctly aromatic.”

All eyes snapped back to the councillor who was trying to twist his arms free of his guards’ hold.

“You would dare? Thorin thundered. “My son has been in this life for less than an hour and you would attempt to send him to the next?”

Dorff shrunk back. “I have no idea what you're talking about, Your Majesty. I only sought to bring a... a small gift, a token of my esteem for such a mighty king.”

“How did you even know? He was just born,” questioned Thorin.

“Why, the mountain is abuzz with the news Your Majesty! I know not where the it started, only that many are toasting your… your halfling’s health.”

“Nori, you are sure?” Thorin asked turning to face him.

“Aye, very sure.”

“I agree with Nori,” Dori added gravely.

“Aye, it's the same,” Oin confirmed when Thorin turned to him.

“That's three witnesses,” Balin started. “Enough to convict him.”

“You cannot actually believe that I intended to harm anyone!” Dorff protested. “This is just anointing oil!”

“One way to find out,” Dwalin said. Everyone knew what he meant and none objected. Gloin and Dori tightened their hold on the councillor as Nori raised the vial towards his face.

“Stop! Stop! You cannot!” Dorff shouted.

“How long? If a young dam would have died within days, how long would a babe have lasted?” Thorin demanded. 

Dorff, knowing he was caught stopped fighting against his captors. “Hours,” he spat. “It would have died in its crib tonight!”

Thorin was not the only one who roared in anger at Dorff’s admission. As Fili and Dwalin fought to hold him back, Kili jumped forward and slugged Dorff. As he stepped back, he nodded in satisfaction to see that Dorff had been knocked unconscious and that his nose was broken and freely bleeding.

“Take him away,” Thorin ordered as Dwalin released him. “Take him out of my sight before I kill him. Nori, get that poison out of here. I will not abide it anywhere near my son. Bombur, Bofur guard the door. Do not tell Bilbo of this. I will tell him later, but not today.” 

Thorin turned and opened the balcony food that had been shut at nightfall. 

“Uncle,” Fili started.

Thorin paused at the doorway. “A few moments. I cannot face him like this,” he explained stepping out into the cool night air.

The remaining dwarves, Balin, Oin, Bombur, Bofur, Fili and Kili all gazed at one another at a loss.

“Well done, lad!” Bofur finally smirked at Kili, breaking the tension. 

“Well done, indeed!” Balin clapped a hand on Kili’s back as he passed him, following after Thorin. He found him leaning against the stone railings.

“Will they never be safe here?” he asked mournfully. 

“That is hard to say,” Balin sighed. “You are the royal family. There will always be intrigues and plots around you, as there ever were. It is just a fact of your life, but Bilbo and your little one are surrounded by many who will do anything to protect them.” 

Both were silent for a few moments, lost in their own thoughts before Balin continued. “If I were Nori, I would lay odds that these attempts will die down. We have only retaken the mountain this past year. When life here settles, so will these schemes. You'll see.”

Thorin breathed deeply, letting the anger seep out of him. “I pray you are right.” Balin followed him as he turned back inside.

“Fili, Kili, come meet your cousin,” he beckoned. They jumped up, dogging his heels in their excitement. They entered quietly to see Bilbo sitting up in the bed, the babe held against his chest, covered in a blanket, his ear against Bilbo’s heart.  Bilbo looked up and smiled at them motioning them forward. Thorin slid onto the bed beside Bilbo, wrapping his arm around them. 

“What was all the commotion about?” Bilbo asked gently. Thorin have him a small smile and shook his head.

“Probably toasting with his overly merry company,” Dis said as she put away Oin’s equipment.

The boys stood hovering at the foot of the bed, unsure as Bilbo had ever seen them. He laughed softly. “Come closer. You'll never see him from that far.”

Kili moved quickly, sitting down at Bilbo’s left, Fili  beside him. Bilbo drew back the blanket revealing the baby's head.

“So much hair,” Fili murmured, making Bilbo laugh again. 

“Yes, and it'll probably forever be a riotous mess.”

Kili extended a hand but stopped before he made contact. “It's alright. You can touch him,” Bilbo encouraged.

Cautiously, Kili reached forward. “It's so soft,” he whispered in awe. “It's like the silks from the eastern caravans we used to escort.”

Thorin hummed in agreement. “Even your fine baby hair was not as soft.” 

Kili moved his hand, cupping the little head gently. “He's so tiny. He's the smallest thing I've ever seen.”

“I will have you know this baby is by no means small in the Shire,” Bilbo retorted goodnaturedly.

“You mean there are even smaller babes?” Fili asked incredulously. 

“I am a respectable height for a hobbit and your uncle here is very tall for a dwarf. I thought I was giving birth to a giant boulder!” The baby jerked, startled as Bilbo barked a laugh. “Shh shh,” he soothed, gently rocking the baby. Kili took hold of the little hand that had freed itself from the blankets.

“Well among dwarrows, he is on the smaller side,” Dis noted.

“Fee, look! Teeny, tiny fingernails!” 

Fili reached out and gently touched the small digits. “So fine. Mahal surely knows his craft!”

Thorin smiled indulgently at the thought of the Maker working with his finest tools to chisel such a small form from the stone. 

“Does he have your ears?” Kili asked.

“Don't think I don't know about your betting pools,” Bilbo chided as he pushed the hair curling around the exposed ear back to reveal a pink point.

“They're just like yours!” Kili said excitedly.

“Almost. Mine are flatter against my skull and his will not be as large.”

“And his feet?” asked Fili. Bilbo fished one out of the blanket. They could all see it was a little too large for dwarf proportions and it had a downy covering. 

“A little hobbit!” Kili decided gleefully. “We have little hobbit!”

“Give him time. I'm sure his dwarf side will show soon enough.”

Dis came around to the side of the bed Thorin was at and sat. She held a little silver bowl out to Thorin. 

“Bilbo,” he said waiting until Bilbo looked at him. “There's is a dwarrow tradition that I would like to follow, if you would allow me.”

“Of course,” he said, laying his hand on Thorin's knee. “What is it?”

“We call it zê agrâf, First Prayer. It is to thank the Maker and ask a blessing on the new life.”

Bilbo smiled. “That sounds wonderful. What do we need to do?”

“The family gathers, as we have now. We take a small bit of fragrant oil,” he explained as he dipped his forefinger into the bowl, “and just touch it to the newborn’s brow.” Bilbo watched as Thorin gently dotted a dab on the baby's forehead. He listened closely as Thorin began in intone the prayer in Khuzdul, Dis speaking each line in Westron for Bilbo’s benefit.

“May Mahal protect you with his strong arm and his mighty hammer. 

May he give you strength and may you use it.

May he give you courage and may you follow it.

May he give you wisdom and may you share it.

May the good mother hold and comfort you.

May all blessings be upon you.”

“That was beautiful,” Bilbo whispered. “You hold him now and I'll give him the blessing of my people.” Thorin took the baby carefully. Bilbo leaned over Thorin and began to speak. With each passage, he traced a part of the baby's body: an eye, the tiny button nose, the shell of an ear, the lips and finally the open palm of one of the small hands.

“May you always be able to see the evidence of love surrounding you.

May you always take pleasure in the scents of the good earth and all she provides.

May you always hear the music of laughter and joy in your life.

May you always taste of the goodness and plenty of the garden and the sustenance it provides.

May you always feel the touch of the sun and wind and rain on your face and know that life if a gift to be cherished.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The dwarrow prayer is actually an amalgam of two Norse prayers I found by googling ([here](https://goo.gl/images/Um2Rnj) and [here](https://goo.gl/images/kK1fEB)). The Hobbit prayer is all me, cause I just think they're so much about comfort that any blessing would encompass the senses.
> 
> Ghivashel is loosely treasure of all treasures  
> zê is first  
> agrâf is prayer


	35. Baby Blues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having a baby makes you think about the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG y'all! This has tipped into 100K+ words territory! Who would have ever thought that could happen? From the bottom of my heart, thanks for sticking to it with me. I know I'm not steady with the updates, but I love that you love this. WOOWOO! Have some baby fluff to celebrate! (Also, I added a relationship tag. You'll see...)

Watching Fili and Kili hold a baby, Bilbo decided, was the funniest thing he had ever seen. Dis had admonished the boys to be gentle but this was too much. Kili was holding the child out on his flat palms. When the blanket fell open, he looked up at Bilbo in alarm.

“What do I do?” he asked in a clear panic.

“First of all, you relax,” said Bilbo. “He’s not going to break…. unless you drop him. Don’t drop my baby, Kili,” he warned leaning over the bed to pull the blanket back over the babe’s legs. Then he adjusted Kili’s hold until he was cradling the babe against his chest. “For Eru’s sake, it’s like you’ve never held a child before.”

“Well this isn’t like the Shire. There aren’t little dwarflings running around everywhere.”

“Besides, who would trust Kili with their child?” added Fili with a smirk.

“How would you know there are many children in the Shire? You were supposed to avoid towns when you were there,” Thorin said.

“We did!” Kili defended.

“It’s true. We skirted every village but there they were, running around in field and forest alike, scads of little hobbits.”

“They’re called faunts or fauntlings,” said Bilbo, leaning back into the pillows and into Thorin’s side.

“Were you this small once?” Thorin asked as he lifted his arm to wrap around Bilbo.

“Most likely smaller. I was early and small enough that the midwife thought me sickly.”

“What about hobbit girls? Are they tinier and dainty?” Fili asked.

“Oh, you never know with hobbit girls. Sometimes they are small babes but sometimes they’re born larger than the boys. I guess we’ll just have to wait until we have one to see.”

Bilbo felt Thorin go rigid at his side. “What?” he asked.

“You would…” Thorin started, finding it necessary to swallow to continue. “You would give me more?”

Bilbo crooked an eyebrow. “Are you going to never want to have sex again?”

“Shush! There’s a baby present.” Kili, who had passed the babe back to Fili, was covering his little ears with his hands.

“Aren't there herbs or teas and such to prevent pregnancy?” Thorin asked.

“There are but I don't know if I would use them indefinitely. I didn't particularly like being an only child. I wouldn't want that for ours. Plus, he'll need others like him so he doesn't feel like he's alone as the only hobbit dwarf in all of Arda.”

“Hours of ‘I'm going to die’ and now he speaks of wanting more?” Dis said, her sarcasm a light jest.

“You cannot say anything to me, Dis Thrainsdóttir. I heard all about your birthing and yet here sit two sons of yours.”

Dis pretended to pick lint off of the blanket. “I actually was very young for a dwarrow and childbirth for us is more difficult.”

“Uh-huh,” Bilbo smirked.

“I would also add that I never proclaimed that I was going to die.”

“That was a valid concern! I’ll have you know that amongst hobbits, this was a difficult birthing. And it took forever. It’s no wonder I thought I was dying.”

“If your women really have such an easy time of it, it’s no wonder you hobbits have so many offspring,” commented Dis.

“I would not want you in any danger,” Thorin interjected gravely.

“They say the first one is the hardest and after that, your body knows what to do. My next pregnancy should be easier,” Bilbo assured him.

“Your next? Are you sure?” Thorin asked. He didn’t want to push Bilbo into having more children, but by Mahal, the very idea was making him a little dizzy with happiness.

“Just not for a couple of years. I don’t think I would do very well with having two babes at the same time, but I don’t think the Lady meant for this gift to be used only once. We have plenty of time to decide. Right now we need to be focused on selecting a name,” Bilbo said.

“Traditionally, you have one hundred days to choose a name,” explained Dis. “Dwarrow are long-lived. Two hundred years is a long time to live with a dissatisfying name so we carefully consider it before it is finalized.” Dis stood and turned toward the door. “The rest of the company? Are they still waiting? They should come in now. You need to get some rest.”

“We’re not done with our turn yet!” Kili protested.

“It’s not like he’s going anywhere. You’ll have plenty of opportunities to hold him,” Bilbo assured him.

“There was an incident and some were called away but they should be returning shortly,” Thorin explained. Bilbo hummed in response. He could tell that something of significance had happened but as Thorin had it under control, he could set his curiosity aside for later.

Ori and Bifur, who had been standing watch out in the hall, were invited in. Bifur rumbled something that made Thorin chuckle before turning to Bilbo to translate. “He wonders how we will cope now that we’ve created a being who will surely be more stubborn than the two of us combined.”

“He’s so small!” Ori said, his eyes wide with wonder.

Bilbo sighed. “I see I’m going to lose that fight.”

“But he is! Why, he’s too small for the things I’ve knitted. I didn’t realize...”

“He’ll grow into them soon enough, don’t you worry. Would you like to hold him?” Bilbo asked.

Ori shook his head. “Oh, no. I’d be afraid to drop him.” It took several minutes of persuasion before Bilbo could convince Ori to try and then Ori could only stare at the small form in fascination.

As the company members slowly trickled in, most only looked on while Bilbo held the babe. Some held forth a finger to be grasped in a wee hand. Bombur, Bofur, Gloin and Dori ventured to hold him, as they had experience with children.

When the baby began to fuss, Dis shooed everyone out of the suite. While Bilbo rocked him to sleep again, Dis maneuvered what looked like a three sided crib against Bilbo’s preferred side of the bed. After Bofur had seen his woven bassinet, he'd had to explain its function in detail. What Bofur couldn't understand was how you were to see the baby in the basket while lying in bed.

He had apparently pondered the problem at some length because it was only days later that he presented Bilbo with his handiwork. It was essentially a small wooden crib that was locked flush against the bed, with the side attached to the bed removed for access and viewing. It would put the baby on the same level as their bed, but safe from being squashed. Bilbo thought it was one of the most brilliant things he'd ever seen.

“I suggest you get some sleep,” Dis advised as Bilbo carefully lay the baby down in it. “He’ll be waking you up soon enough. I’ll be just down the hall. Call out if you should need me,” she said as she closed the door behind herself.

Finally alone with his small family, Bilbo realized how utterly exhausted he was. He lay down and carefully squirmed his way to the edge of the bed, as close to the baby as he could be. While Thorin settled behind him, he traced the babe’s open palm. The babe shivered in response to the tickling touch.

“I can’t believe this. He’s here. He’s alive. He came from my body,” Bilbo breathed quietly in wonder. Thorin could only hum in agreement. There was a few minutes of silence before Bilbo spoke again.

“If you don't name a child for a hundred days, what do you end up calling them? Surely we can't keep calling him ‘the babe’.”

“Usually, the child is called after the father if it's a boy. He'll be Thorinson.” There was a pause in which Bilbo could tell Thorin was thinking. “He could also be called Bilboson.” Bilbo wrinkled his nose at the odd name. “Which would you prefer?”

“Definitely Thorinson. I like that much better.”

“Did you have a name already in consideration?” Knowing Bilbo, Thorin was sure he did.

“I had thought to name him after your brother but Fili had once told me that he would like to name his firstborn Frerin. I like that idea very much, that your brother's namesake might someday sit on Erebor’s throne,” Bilbo said dreamily. “Then your people would all know that his name is to honor your brother and he would be remembered.”

Thorin, was struck dumb by his words. To think that Bilbo sought to honor his brother either way left him speechless. It was a moment before he realized Bilbo was pulling his arm tighter around himself like a blanket. He leaned back into Thorin and pressed Thorin’s large hand against his belly.

“Are you still in much pain?” Thorin asked concerned.

Bilbo nodded. “Some. I expect I will be for a few days. The draught helps, dulls it. Your warmth helps.” He turned his head to look up at Thorin, a wide smile on his face. “We have a baby.” Thorin tightened his hold on Bilbo, mindful to be gentle. He still couldn't believe it either.

“Although, I had hoped he would take after you more,” Bilbo continued, turning back to the babe.  “Maybe he'll have your eyes once their colour settles. That would be lovely.” The babe’s eyes were blue now whereas his own were more blue green. Thorin’s were a deep blue, like the sky before night fell or what he imagined the deep oceans must look like. He supposed the dwarves would say they were like sapphires. Whatever the name, Bilbo wanted the babe to have that colour.

Thorin dropped his gaze and mumbled a response. It was so low in timbre, Bilbo didn't catch what he's said. “I'm sorry, say that again. I'm sleepy and I missed it,” he yawned.

“I prayed to Mahal that the child would look just like you,” Thorin admitted. Bilbo turned onto his back, reaching up to cup Thorin’s cheek. His fingers rested on the soft beard while his thumb slowly stroked the cheekbone. Thorin closed his eyes, enjoying the soft touch.

“That's the most romantic thing you've ever said to me.”

“I never hoped to have a child wherein I might see the face of my beloved. I cannot imagine a life without him now and I could not live without you. You are the heart that beats within me.” Thorin leaned down and rested his forehead against Bilbo’s. “I would join my life to yours. Bilbo… would you marry me?”

Bilbo could see Thorin had closed his eyes, overwhelmed by strong emotions. “I have joined my life to yours in the way of my people. I would also bind us in the way of yours.” He could feel Thorin’s chest move when he released the breath he’d been holding. “You silly dwarf, I love you.”  Bilbo brushed his lips softly against Thorin’s.  “Later though, you’ll have to tell me what all it will mean, marrying a king. But for now, we need to sleep.“

They settled, facing the baby, Bilbo’s hand outstretched to hold a little hand and Thorin wrapped around Bilbo.

~~~~~

Dwalin was making one last round of the battlements. It’s what he did when he wasn’t ready for sleep. It had been an eventful night. The councillor’s family had been placed under house arrest so they could not flee while they were investigated. They didn’t yet know who all was involved in this latest plot. Nori already had his two best men working on it. He didn’t necessarily trust them but he trusted Nori. It was almost dawn and he needed to catch a few hours of sleep before the day began but he was still restless.

When he saw Ori sitting on the ledge of the battlements, which wasn’t safe, he scuffed his feet. He didn’t want to frighten the lad and startle him over the edge. Ori sat quietly looking out over the valley as he came to stand behind him.

“It’s awful late,” he gruffed.

“Or early. The sun will be up soon,” Ori said, not turning towards Dwalin.

Dwalin leaned against the ledge. He and Ori had grown close since they took the mountain and he could tell that something was weighing on Ori’s mind. He only had to be patient enough and Ori would spill soon enough. The lad liked to talk but felt his brothers never took him seriously.

“The babe is beautiful,” Ori eventually said sadly. Dwalin was surprised. Why should anything about the babe make Ori sad?

“Aye,” he replied. “He’ll be a good lad.” They were silent as the dark began to lessen. His patience paid off when after a couple of minutes Ori fidgeted.

“It makes me a little sad because I’ll never have children,” he said quietly.

Dwalin swallowed thickly. He and Ori had become close but he’d not been brave enough yet to ask Ori if he could court him even though he wanted it more than anything. But if Ori wanted children, he wouldn’t ask. He wouldn’t stop Ori from trying to find a nice lass to settle down with, even if it broke his heart.

“You’re young yet and more lasses come to Erebor each day. You’re bound to find a nice one,” he said with fake cheer.

Ori shook his head, giving Dwalin a sad smile. “No, I'll never settle down with any lass.”

“Why not? You’re a hero. Faced the dragon, took back the mountain…” he trailed off half heartedly.

Ori sighed. He's been waiting and waiting for Dwalin to make a move. He was pretty sure Dwalin was just a little afraid of his brothers. Granted, Dori and Nori when they were in agreement were a force to be reckoned with, but he was a grown dwarf. He didn't need his brother's permission for courting or anything else for that matter.

“I’ll never have children because I want to settle down with you,” he said, turning to Dwalin while he still had gumption. “But you’ve never said anything and it makes me wonder, do you want to be with me? Did I misinterpret what’s between us?”

To say that Dwalin was flabbergasted was a gross understatement. Ori was always surprising him, one moment shy, the next brave and outspoken as any dwarf alive.  

“No,” he finally sighed heavily. “You didn’t. I… I want to court you, but when I go ta ask, I see you… this fresh young thing, all properly educated with a mind of yer own and such a beauty. And look at me. I’m old, Ori, old and broken down by too many battles. I’m losing my hair and what have I got to offer you that you don’t already have? Riches? Position? You can have anything yer heart desires.” Dwalin lowered his head. What chance to gain Ori’s hand did he have?

“Don’t,” Ori warned. “You’re not old. You’re not broken down and you’re as properly educated as any dwarf can be. Fundin raised both of his sons to be statesmen warriors. You just like to downplay the statesman so people underestimate you. You forget, Balin was my master so I know a lot of what Fundin taught you. You’re so handsome and very brave. It’s you who could have anyone. And... and… “ he stuttered. “I know what my heart desires. It’s you,” Ori said using his finger to lift Dwalin’s gaze back up.

“What about children?” Dwalin all but whispered.

Ori smiled softly. “I’d rather spend all my days with you than with some lass I didn’t love. We’ll be uncles instead. I’m sure Bilbo and Thorin won’t stop at one.” With that, Ori leaned into Dwalin and kissed him. He was tired of waiting. Dwalin wrapped his arms securely around him. Ori knew Dwalin had been dying to do it since he found him perched on the wall. He’d never been in Dwalin’s arms before but he already knew he would never find anywhere he’d ever feel safer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What Bofur built is called a cosleeper. It is brilliant. I fancy this [one](https://www.armsreach.com/images/uploads/features/CS-welcome_no_promo.jpg).


End file.
